1 13 June 2013

[10 years old]

This is the day when you achieved your dreams. I am proud of you.

.

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I am sad to say that I didn't stan bts until "Just one day " came out in March 2014.

At that point of time I was still a kid and was more into anime and English artists.

My life was not easy, I came from another country to country S for my studies. My father worked here to support my mum and I.

However, my parents' marriage was falling apart without me knowing. My mother didn't want to tell me about their problems as I was still young.

One ironic moment is I even talked on the phone with the other woman without knowing that I was talking to the very woman that destroyed my family.

2014 to 2016 was a rough phase for me. I was going in and out of depression and self blame.

"If I had done my tuition homeworks properly, my dad would not have been disappointed in me and leave us. "

"Is he happier without us. "

"Did he ever love me? "

[13 years old]

Things were not stable in my house. I was stressed because of a major exam in 2016.

I even skipped school.

I was always told that I was smart but I failed one of my exams in 2016 right before the major exam and I was devastated.

It might not seem like a big thing to you but I depended on my marks to stay in country S. Marks meant everything in my life.

I skipped school and didn't show my mum my report book.

I was having a really hard time and I even resorted to cutting myself.

It was the darkest year of my life.

At that point of time I started really listening to Bts music as I felt like it was my only way out.

"Save me" is my favorite song till this day.

When the LY series came out, I cried. Their lyrics touched me and my heart. I can't help me fall for them even more. They were the light in my dark life.