2 Knowlegde is power...and safety

Presenting information to the readers in a way that it doesn't seem like it was forcebly inserted into the story, but instead appears like the natural progression of the narrative, is a difficult task that all authors must face at some moment. It may be hard but those who manage to overcome it, are able to grow as writers.

"Correct me if am I wrong, but you are basically saying that you are a young dragon god, who has power over abstract concepts such as the idea of infinity and stories, and after the natural death of your creator/father, who was an alien refuge living in another planet, you decided to set sail and travel across the universe (and for some reason that nobody could possibly explain, the universal language spoken by most sapient beings across the universe just happens to be nearly identical to English).

During your voyage upon the stars, you met some women and married all of them because polygamy was not only acceptable but even encouraged at your home planet. And said wives were ok with sharing despite they were from monogamy societies. And technically one of your wives is your wife's wife but since she refuses to even acknowledge the bullshit that let that to happen in the first place, all of you just call her your wife.

After that you set course to earth because you heard some rumors about a dragon god living in this planet, but when you arrived a few months ago you realized that it was just Sheron, a wish granter created by another alien, our Kami, who just happen to also be a namekian as your father.

Finally, since you didn't have much else to do, you chose to settle down on earth and didn't really interacted with anyone until you felt Raditz's powerful ki and went to check what was happening."

Sadly, not every author is able to rise to the challenge.

"Yes." Guava confirmed dryly. "That is what I've just been saying for the last hour almost word by word. The only difference being that you offered an abridged version of it as if you were explaining things so the author wouldn't have to write a meaningful and coherent conversation between the two of us."

He honestly didn't know what was more impressive, the fact that Bulma was able to say all of that without stopping to breathe, or that they all believed the pretty obvious and convoluted lie.

To be fair, they've just discovered that Goku, Piccolo and their old useless god were aliens. That combined with the information about two evil saiyan making their way to earth probably caused them to feel pretty open minded about that kind of stuff. It was that or just DBZ characters being DBZ characters.

Not that he would complain about it. One of the reasons Guava had chosen Dragon Ball Z as his starter world even though he wasn't a big fan of how repetitive their fights were (they always consisted of two dudes throwing punch at blurring speeds until one of them powered up and shot a ki blast), was because how little bureaucracy mattered in this place. As long he had the necessary amount of money, he could buy a house and start a life wherever he wanted, no questions asked. It didn't matter how safer other worlds were in comparison, he would rather fight Beerus right now than having to deal with bureaucracy and paperwork. He still shuddered everytime remember his old desk job; it was hell with extra steps.

Of course, the other reasons may or may not involve a cute petite young looking possible older than the universe itself literal angel waifu, but that was a long term project.

"So… what did you say that was the secret of making a harem work?" Master Roshi asked the real questions.

"You need to find a capable harem manager. It doesn't matter how much a morally bankrupt company tells you that your wives love you and won't stab you out of jealously, wrath or because a misunderstanding, the manager is a must." Guava answered with all the respect that the legendary pervert deserved and then some more. "After that, you need a fair schedule for your sex life, because I swear it will get kind of weird. Oh, and always remember that communication is the key to avoid getting stabbed in the liver by your new beautiful wife after you forgot to tell her that her painful sickness was cured before you, in an attempt to be romantic, swore that you wouldn't let her die a useless death for while you still lived."

"That was…weirdly specific but, also, very informative." Krillin pointed out before focusing his full attention into taking notes. "I wonder if it would work on blondes."

During the last hour, the three men had formed a weird and beautiful friendship that would last until their deaths.

"I don't see why it wouldn't." Guava shrugged. "Also, don't forget the sunglasses or the blindfold; they make ogling way easier. I learnt that the hard way."

"HA, they do help at first, but a true master doesn't really need them. It is all a matter of angles and peripheral vision." Master Roshi sagely explained. "Remind me to show the two of you some tricks la-"

"WE DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS."

Truly, the only thing that could get in the way of this newfound friendship was the wrath of the a blue haired waifu, a subspecies of waifus known to be only second to the lethal pink haired yanderes when it comes to being a threat to everyone near when angered.

"Ignoring the imminent threat of those two saiyans for a moment, not only we have a self-proclaimed dragon god that we can only hope is truly in our side since he easily defeated the most powerful enemy that earth has ever faced, and let's not talk about his VERY scary wife." Bulma pointed a finger at the other group who was still drinking tea and eating chocolate cookies without a care in the world. "But we also have to deal with two evil people that just a few hours ago wanted to conquer/destroy earth."

"You should calm down, Bulma. It was a really weird day, but I don't think that Mr. White-"

"Call me that again and I will invert your ribcage."

"As I was saying, Guava seems like an alright dude." The monk defended his new friend. "But yes, we probably should focus on the two evils aliens in the room."

Funny enough, neither of the humans were particularly worried about Raditz. Even if the saiyan could be considered a wild card after his mental breakdown, they knew that Goku would be great influence on his brother during their training together. On the other hand, it was harder to predict what Piccolo would do next. After all, they were mortal enemies with his late father.

"I can take Piccolo with me if you are ok with that." Guava offered. "I would like to teach him the rightful and peaceful ways of our people…by force."

"Are you sure? He did try to kill Goku." Which, when said out loud, wasn't that much of a black mark against the namekian as they previously thought. Most of Son Goku's friends had tried to kill him in the past, and yes, that included Bulma.

"I've always wanted to train a namekian, and a sparring partner apart from Nanami will be beneficial for me in the long run." He waved their valid concerns off with a playful smile. "Don't worry, I will make sure to call you from time to time…. I may even give you the advices that I forgot to mention today."

Words were unnecessary as a handshake between the three men took place with the sunset behind them. At that moment a silent promise was forged between them and the timeline was forever doom to change. Whatever it was for better or worse was left to debate.

"Why are all good looking men I know either perverts, cheating bastards, morons, or aliens that have just tried to kill my friends?"

Nobody answered that.

--------------------

Piccolo was already used to people forgetting about his enhanced hearing; it was an understandable mistake given that it was one of the most inconspicuous abilities at his disposal. So it was only natural for the slug plant alien to scowl while the wannabe dragon god talked with those humans over there.

"I hate to say this, but that is probably a good idea." He reluctantly acknowledged. "While I dislike both you and your husband, your martial progress is impossible to dismiss. I just hope that this won't end up being a waste of my time."

It was either that or risking himself to lower his IQ by spending extensive amounts of time with Son Goku and the crybaby….and he wasn't referring to the kid. Besides, training with these two would give him the chance to test their true intentions on earth and perhaps even learn the strange techniques used by that Guava guy.

As long they took their training seriously, there wasn't any reason to reject their offer.

"You shouldn't be concerned with the quality and effectiveness of our instruction. I just happen to have an experience at teaching manners to unreeling children." Piccolo would never admit that he shivered when the green haired woman stared as his hands with those blank eyes of her.

"Can you regrown your fingernails as you do with your arms?"

"Should I be worry that the answer is a yes?"

"No at all. That will be good for you…or maybe it is bad."

As Nanami smiled wickedly, the namekian realized that maybe there were a few reasons to reject the offer, but since the other alternative was Son Goku…

--------------------------------

One of the multiple benefits of being able to open a portal that defies most of known law of physics was that just a few minutes after sayings their goodbyes, the three of them arrived to the mansion. The awe-inspiring building of impossible dimensions was a mess of different colors and styles; it was almost like the architect couldn't decide whether he wanted to design a typical modern western mansion, an Asian one or a bizarre amalgamation of the two of them. And the interior was even worse; all the inhabits of the mansion used a map to navigate the place…or just broke the walls, it kinda depended of how much they needed to use the bathroom.

As Namani tried to show the mansion to their green guest without getting lost in the process, Guava found himself alone in the middle of hall, moving some random chairs and tables in order to appeaser his mild, in his own opinion, OCD.

"Welcome home, OP handsome husbando." A cheerful voice called him out while he was debating with himself whether he should destroy the third chair to the left or not. "Did you miss me or did you miss a lot?"

Instinctively, the white haired man moved to the right, just barely avoiding the redhead woman who'd just jumped from the stairs.

In most other circumstances, the first word that would come to Guava's mind at the sight of a Fujimaru Ritsuka, Gudako, wearing her favorite costume would be gallant, as the all the crown and high-quality of those clothes gave the crossdressing princess an air of nobility and grace. Sadly, said nobility was nowhere to be seen right now, with Gudako dusting off her pants after crashing into the furniture.

Well, at least there was not need to redecorate anymore.

"Right, you must be angry because of the build, or maybe it was the goats, or the surprise waifu, or me changing you gender during that one night or that weird crossover with those geese." The reahead started to list some of the things she has done last week. "I don't think you have found out my plans for the strap-on, so…"

"Wait, the last one that sounded important."

"In a scale from the golden age arc of Berserk to Boku no pico, how angry are you?"

"Oh, I would say a solid Fairy Tail."

"That is fair." Gudako conceded. "Before you think in a punishment, remember that you now have a truly competitive build that can rekt most the waifufag noobs hired by the company."

"I am your partner, not your dad, I have no right to punish you." Guava sighed and used ¨disappointment¨. "I just want to make clear that I don't appreciate that you did this behind my back."

The attack was super effective.

"NOOOOOO. 7.8, too much maturity, now I feel bad." She pouted, holding her head in despair. "Oh, I know, as an apologize, you can ask me to do one particular thing. I will do it. Anything."

The young woman stood up and slowly walked toward Guava, swaying her hips in a seductive manner. The white haired man raised an eyebrow as the distance between the two became almost inexistent.

"Anything?"

"Anything for best husbando." She replied in a sultry voice, her mouth becoming closer and closer to Guava's neck to the point where he could feel her warm breath in his chin.

"Limitless, red." And right after he said those words, an invisible force pushed Gudako away, making the man smirk. "Oka, you will be sparring with Nanami and Piccolo this weekend while I do some stuff."

With that out of the way, they could now focus their full attention into thinking what would be the optimal course of action for them. One thing was for sure, they would take advantage of this year free of dangers to train as if their lives depended on it, which was a partially correct statement.

He and Nanami shouldn't have problems against an enemy like Vegeta after a full year of psychical training. With their respective bullshit techniques and abilities, their only worry would be to increase their power level. That was extremely important because they were living in shounen world where the secret to winning every fight was to dodge faster and punch harder than your opponent.

On the other hand, even with her new talent for both martial arts and ki manipulation, and all the dragon blood at her disposal, Gudako would need some serious amount of rigorous training if she wanted to take part in the fight against the saiyans. She didn't truly need to fight, but nobody was cruel enough to deny her the opportunity to blast a bad guy with a Kamehameha, that was every child's (and some adults) dream.

Guava's third wife (she outright refused to be called Gudako's wife or to be anywhere near the redhead menace without wearing an armor) was a non-factor in all of this as she really didn't care about fighting, and was more than happy to left that part to the others while she went to study medicine at the East university in the south of the West street in North city.

It all sounded so easy in paper, but their goal wasn't to defeat a weakling like Vegeta, who admittedly was more than able to kill all of them right now, but to become powerful enough to kill/capture Freezer. Luckily, both Guava and Nanami would have the chance to copy the kaioken and the spirit ball that Goku would learn from King Kai. Those two techniques were a must if they wanted to beat the shit out the intergalactic tyrant without having access to those stupid zenkai boosts.

He could also try to convince Kami to allow them to use the hyperbolic time chamber for a day. If he were to learn how to touch upon the concepts of stories and infinity, he could theoretically learn to produce an infinite amount of energy or even modify the narrative of a fight to assure his victory. That would also directly benefit both Nanami and Gudako as the-

"Stop mentally explaining our stupid training plans to become unnecessarily OP, so we can feel better with ourselves after ONE-shooting Freezer, to the readers and tell me why you aren't asking for a special blowjob under the dining table, a titjob while you are answer a call from a friend of mine, groping me and playing with my hard nipples and wet pussy with your warm manly hands in public while I try my best to muffle my moans of pleasure, or to train my asshole to accommodate daddy thick and large dick. Does your wrath know not limits at all?"

Guava just stared at her.

"What?"

"You…you are supposed to be one of those harem protagonist in one of these wish fulfillment smut stories were people capture and fuck so many beautiful women that it seems they are playing pokemon xxx."

"You do realize that I have more emotions than just anger and horniness, right?"

As the reality of her imminent denial session hit her, Gudako fell to her knees, unable to cope with the fact that her multiple fetishes (some of them which wouldn't be allowed to describe even in this site) would have to wait until she finished sparring with the green demon...and with Piccolo.

"Where is my hot sex scene with my big daddy/ little bad girl roleplay? This is a waifu catalog fanfic. Give me my smut, you, handsome devilish slaver."

"Actually, there is a tag of humor up there." He pointed out.

"Oh…is that the reason why I am the embodiment of salt in this universe? I believe that would certainly explain why my crippling gambling addiction is so heavily downplayed as a silly personality quirk related to Gacha."

The white haired man shrugged idly. "Well, I do not see any other reason for you being tier 5. I mean no offense, but your only superhuman talents are your harem manager skill and how much chaos you are able to cause without responsible adult supervision."

"None taken; the reason is probably that I have tits." Gudako sighed looking down, her previous energy was nowhere to be seen. "Otakus love their waifus even though the only reason they survived for so long was because they looked cute enough."

Guava looked at her in deep thought, it was hard to tell whether this sudden bitterness was real or just her trying to recover some brownie points by acting vulnerable... not that it mattered, as the one fucking her, his reaction would have been the same anyways. Stepping closer to Gudako, he hugged her tightly in silence. There were no words exchanged to comfort anyone, no lustful movement of hands to bring pleasure to each other, nothing but a heavy silence.

"Gudako."

"Yes?" She asked weakly.

"Stop groping my ass."

------------------------------------

Things were going better than Guava expected. Both Krillin and Goku invited him for some training together. Of course, he immediately rejected the offer after explaining he had some plans for Piccolo and wanted to keep an eye on him, but he still promised to come every now and then to exchange some pointers. Even if the humans would soon become irrelevant because of the OP aliens, Guava didn't have it in his heart to outright ignore the baldy, especially after their last bonding session where they argued about the pros and cons of tall girls.

That was the day the swore he help Krillin to become the strongest baldy in the universe. Suck it, Jiren, you were the most boring character to ever being introduced in Dragon Ball.

"So, how was your first day of training with my cute Nanami?" He asked to Piccolo.

"Why?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Why did you marry that demon?" The eyes of the successor of a literal demon king were filled with fear.

Part of the reason was his crippling fear of being alone with nothing but his thoughts as company, but he wasnt going to tell him that.

"Hey, I will let you know that she is one of the sweetest women I ever met."

"She keeps ripping off my fingernails every time I grunted noncommittally instead of answering her questions." Piccolo retorted and then pointed at a pile of bloody fingernails laying in at the corner of the room.

It was pretty interesting how there was not a single stain of blood on the floor despite the pile being at least thirty centimeters tall.

"To be fair, I don't really know a lot of women besides my wives. At least you were able to learn about the pecking order from the not so scary teacher."

"I don't know why, but all my instincts are telling me to agree with that."

"Anyways, I don't really believe I can teach you a lot about martial arts. Not because you lack talent, but because your biology is fundamentally different from mine so I have little to advice to a guy that can extend and regrow his limbs…Nanami could probably offer you some pointers, but let's leave that for later. The two of us will focus on training our bodies and honing our control over our ki. After you reach a certain level of control, I will try to teach you the blackflash, a technique that makes your blows 2,5 times more powerful." In order to Illustrate this, Guava stomped the ground, making the room tremble because of the impact. "Don't ask me about my other techniques; those are something exclusive to me so they can't be learnt by others except under extremely specific circumstances. "

"You are talking as if I were that much weaker." The namekian scoffed. "Since you are that delusional, I may as well do my best that technique before showing why I was so feared. Who knows? You may also learn something about humility."

"Hahaha, it is good to see you that motivated. It doesn't matter if Son Goku is training in the other world with King Kai, as long we put effort we will be able to stay ahead."

"What are you talking about? Son Goku is alive…not that I am particularly happy with that either. " Piccolo muttered the last part.

Guava winced.

"FUCK."