3 My name (1)

I stood up from where I sat and headed towards the food. I was starving, I guess all those crying had made me hungry. I wondered what she brought. Toast bread with hot coffee just the way I liked it. After eating I would read a book till I fell asleep.Nicol didn't bring me any new book. I'd have to read the old ones she had brought days ago.

I got into my pyjamas, and lay straight down, my head slightly lifted up facing my bed. I brought out my book from where I hide it.

Papa didn't like me reading them, he says i'd only fantasize about things that didn't exist, and it wasn't good for me since I'd expect things to happen in the future. He said they were the reason I always thought of running away. if papa only knew.

Papa didn't understand these books and mamas stories were all I could hold on to, all I had to hope for love. I tried telling him this but he wouldn't hear me out even for a second.

"Your safety Oona is all that matters" that was all he ever said.

"What about What I want?" I had asked crying. I wanted him to explain himself, to tell me why I couldn't be let out, but he never said anything after that.

Holding the book in my hands. I flipped through the pages trying to read anything I could. This was the eighth time I was reading this, but I never got bored of it. It was similar to one of the stories mama told me. You'd think she got the idea from here. Out of all the stories mama told me, my birth story was the strangest.

I had refused to be given birth to in an ordinary hospital. Mama was adviced to take me to a Special hospital. This was were People like me were born. People they thought were reincarnated and wouldn't leave the womb till they found a reason to, even if it was time to be born. They could stay as long as 16 months or more in the womb.

If they were bad children, their mother would have to suffer for not giving them a reason to leave the womb. if they were good, they'd wait patiently till they saw a reason to.

In this hospital only members of the family and close relatives were allowed in. Mama said it was more of a hut than a hospital, and two old women were always outside, two stood by the sides and were in each rooms including the inner room which was always dark, and two in the middle of each rooms.

The women just like Mama said were not supposed to leave their position till night time when no one could see. They had to be prepared when they came.