2 If you could only understand

When the knock came, knowing Nicol wasn't one to wait for a "come in" especially when papa wasn't around, and hearing her shout. I knew immediately papa had gone out and wouldn't be back till very late that night.

I stared at her, my eyes moving from the tray of food she was carrying to every possible place she could hide a book. I couldn't find any trace of a hidden book. Nichol noticed what I was doing couldn't help but laugh "Your looking to see if I brought a book, ain't you? You really think I'd come with a book today after what u did yesterday?"

Yesterday I tried running away when papa was out, I didn't even get to reach the gigantic gate before Nichol caught sight of me and dragged me back to my room threatening to tell papa on me.

"You make it seem so bad" I said

"What isn't bad about it? Oh your gracious majesty" she said mocking me while placing the tray of food on a table. "You tried to get me killed, your running away is the end for me, young lady"

"Young lady" I muttered. sometimes I forgot I was only 20. Sometimes I just feel like I've been living in a room for centuries, and was only allowed out on the day of an eclipse. This was rare because itan eclipse only happened once every 18 months. Leaving my room only once in 18 months was enough torture for a person.

I felt happy whenever Nicol called me Young, it reminded me of mama and her stories, and so much there was to do. It gave me hope that someday i would be free and explore the world, and I could do more, think more, see more.... Oh, only if I was free.

"I'm sorry" was all I could say. I didn't want Nicol to see me crying or she'd blame herself for the rest of the day.

I felt the bed press downward, like someone had sat on it. I looked up only to find Nicol staring at me, shell was looking into my deep blue eyes, not blinking once. I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. Tears fell down my cheek and she hugged, holding me tight. My nose were on her shoulder, and I could smell her, she smelt of honey and vanillia, just the way mama smelt after a shower. It made me cry even harder just remembering mama. She pulled me backwards, looked at my eyes again "you'd be okay, trust me. I know its hard, you just to bear it a little while longer" she said wiping away my eyes

"you shouldn't cry anymore, princesses don't cry"

"Like i'm a princess" I said lifting my face to look at her.

"Your my little princess" She said with a small smile trying to cheer me up.

"Thank you" I replied sniffing trying to hold back more tears.

"Now, I really must go" She said as she stood up. The bed returned to its normal size. She adjusted her dress, dusted off the invisible dust she thought must be on her dress

"just the way I like it" she said smiling. She must feel proud of herself for the work well done.

She fixed her face back on me again wincing her face. I was still wiping the last tear drops away from my cheek. She patted my shoulders "you'd be fine" she said again. She reached for the door, turning back once more to make sure I was okay. when she was satisfied, she stepped out shutting the door behind her.

I was left all alone.... again.