14 Fetish & Phobia

After an hour of making love, we stay at the pool party until it winds down. Robin toasts me with champagne, but I barely drink even half the glass. I don't need it. My head is already swimming with enough endorphins to make me dizzy, especially after we finally climb out of the hot tub at the end of the night to make our way back to the rooms. We bid Bingqing and Shan farewell at our doors, with them heading into the room beside ours with one final wave.

The moment the door closes behind us in our room, Robin turns back to me, grinning. "That was very impressive, earlier." He reaches up to brush a strand of hair back from my forehead. "I had no idea you were such a naughty girl, wife."

"Well, you must have married me for a reason," I reply, smiling back. There's a flash in his eyes for a moment, some kind of emotion I can't read. It makes my cheeks flush, suddenly worried I said the wrong thing. "I mean, fake married, of course."

"Of course," he replies, his expression still dark, inscrutable. Then he drops his hand from my shoulder, only to take my hand instead. "Come on. We'd better get you dirty again."

He tugs me toward the bathroom. I grin, trailing after him.

"Don't you mean clean?" He flashes me a heated look over his shoulder.

"Not at all." Inside the bathroom, he strips me down. I pull his trunks off, too. Damn. Man has stamina, I'll grant him that.

He notices me notice, and smirks. "I must admit, you have quite the effect on me, Chunhua. You really are a sex-kitten, aren't you, love?" His smile widens, his eyes taking on that dark, hungry expression that makes me shiver with anticipation.

My stomach flips when he says the word love. Even though I know he doesn't mean it, even though I know this is a temporary arrangement, I can't help it. I've thought that about him too often, for too long, to miss the word now.

"You could say that," I reply, trying to hide the quiver in my voice, and not quite succeeding. Then he draws his fingertip away and turns on the shower, piping hot, enough to raise steam from the water. It begins to fog the mirrors as he tugs me into the shower with him.

"Do you remember what I told you about tonight, wife?" he asks.

I glance down between us at the reminder. Don't get me wrong, I love how even when we're alone he still calls me that. And I love even more seeing the huge rock of a ring he gave me still on my finger, even as I start to stroke my hands back and forth, up and down the length of his shaft in a slow, rocking motion. It does something to my insides, makes me hotter than hell just imagining what it would feel like to be Mrs. Wang for real. Not just for the weekend, but forever.

"Um…" I realize he's still waiting for an answer. I think back over everything he's said to me so far today. But it's been a long day, and there are a lot of things I don't want to forget, all warring for attention in my mind. Not least of which is his voice, soft and steady, telling me to come for him earlier tonight. I suppress a shiver.

Then I remember what he must mean. "That you're competitive about your night life?" I glance sideways, toward the wall that separates our room from Shan and Bingqing's.

His smile widens. "That you want me to be loud for you, husband, is that it?" I smile up at him, sly.

"Very." He leans in and claims my mouth in his. I sink into his kiss, letting him take control.

After an intense love making session, he takes care of me, gently toweling me off and wrapping me in one of the hotel's soft robes, before he carries me to bed and tucks me under the covers. When he climbs in beside me, I curl into his side, and he wraps both arms around me. I fall asleep with my head on his chest, lulled by the steady, comforting drumbeat of his heart.

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Since I began masturbating during my teenage time, I have had sexual fantasies about "being used by a billionaire". When I was younger, I fantasized about indulging in this fetish with celebrity billionaires. During my adulthood, I started thinking about being with a billionaire, with no strings attached, in a cabin far up in the hills in some woods where no one can find me with him! So basically, it has to be far away from real life and very hidden for me to find pleasure in it and to escape the shame. Something strange about "sexual fetishes" is that, once you are satisfied after having reached a good orgasm, you start to find your fetish genuinely disgusting for a little time.

During my teenage time, I always took this as something very normal. I thought that the fetish itself isn't a massive problem as I knew that thinking about something doesn't necessarily mean I'm going to do it or enjoy it in real life. In fact, I knew I wouldn't enjoy it in real life, as this is something unholy.

Sexual fetishes aren't so much problematic, since it isn't a circumstance that really comes up in real life, until a situation gives you a chance to live it for real.

There is very little you can do to stop yourself from trying it. It's probably also worth saying I have very big fears around losing control.

Or worse. I might have already lost control and there's no stopping it.