Just Another Day

I open my eyes as I heard the door being opened. And I can feel the another weight on the side of the bed.

'At least he still knows where his home is' I think as I keep my back against him, the person whom I love the most. Whom I give all of my heart to. And whom break me like I mean nothing at all. 'Who am I kidding, indeed in his eyes I am nothing', I can't help bit smile bitterly as this thought pass on my mind.

From the start he never loves me, he even despises me. Yet he decided to marry me almost 4 years ago. It's not that he suddenly held a feeling for me, no, not even in my dream. He did it all for Jenna Damian my twin sister. Right, IT IS my sister that he loves the most. My sister's born with a weak body, she couldn't even lifted her fingers when she's a baby. But I ,Shella Damian, was born with a strong body. They said I cried so loudly when my sister couldn't even take a breath when we born. And that's why, everyone in my family loves my sister. So much that they'll bring all the stars in the sky when my sister asks for the moon.

And it's okay, I can understand them. For I would do the same, because we're family. What I will never able to understand is the hatred that they have towards me. They can say that they love me, yet they'll despise every single thing I did because my sister couldn't do it. If I dare to show my talent, they'll scold me because I'm being unsympathetic. If I dare to win a competition, they'll destroy the medals or cups and beat me because I'm being ungrateful and cruel. Yet, even though they do all of that, I still love them. I know it's stupid, but love is nothing but stupid anyway.

Back to the man that I call as my husband. His name is Raymond Clein. He is..ah my bad, I mean he was my best friend. We met for the first time in a daycare when we were both 3 years old. Apparently my family thought I was too much inconsiderate to my sister. Just because I play by myself silently in the corner of the living room. He was so charming and caring to me. He smile so brilliantly and he said that he's very happy to meet me. Maybe it just a figure speech, something that his parents thought him to say to his new friends. But who cared? It the first time someone happy to meet me, and after how my family treated me, his kindness is very precious for me. And that day I decided, I'll cherish this person for all my life and I'll do everything for him. And that's how I spent my childhood cherishing this friend of mine.

Everything was good. Even though my family never put me in their eyes I've been learning to not expecting something from them, and to love them one sidely. But then things went downhill. When I was in 3 grade, I got sick for a week because my parents are to busy taking care of my sister and they had no time to pick me up. So I have no choice but walking under the rain since i kept on raining all day long and I forgot to bring my umbrella. As my best friend, Raymond was very worried, so he came to our house. That's when he met my sister, and apparently fall for her. Well I couldn't wrong him, after all my parents're always nurturing my sister very carefully, so she has a better look than me. So even though we're identical, we look nothing alike. Since then he and my sister became close. He kept on coming to my house everyday to meet my sister, who's very elated to have a new friend. And eventually he forgot about me.

Life's going on. I'm still alone with no one really care for me. I have no desire to start a new relationship whether it was a friendship or anything else. Nor do I had the desire to interact with anyone more than necessary not even my family.

When I thought that my life couldn't get any worse, fate proves me wrong. When I was 18 years old, my sister condition suddenly collapsed. The doctor said, she hadfailure an accute liver failure. At that time medications didn't really work for her. So the other option left was liver donation, and who else more suitable than me, her twin. My parents and Raymond pushed me to donate my liver. At that time I felt so much regrets, of why I was born just to feel this much heartache.

So for the first time, I wanted to be selfish. I told my them, I'd agree if Raymond marries me at least for 4 years. And after 4 years, if he wants to divorce me, than I'll accept it.

Of course everyone so angry. They called me ungrateful, they called me cruel, they called me evil. But I didn't care I was just to tired being ignored and abandoned alone. I was tired being silent. I was tired being my self, so I decided to change. And at last, Raymond agreed. But then, that's when I know what hell really is.