4 Chapter 4: Worst. Date. Ever!

Beta read by Paragon of Awesomeness

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-Rias's house-

Morning came, the sunlight streaming into the room, creating a warm glow that made a certain redhead frown in her sleep. The birds chirped outside the window, with the sound of nature helping her slowly wake up. 

As Rias rested in her bed, the girl's head on Archer's chest, she cautiously looked up at her Servant's face. While the Heroic Spirit seemed to be asleep, he demonstrated just how aware he was of his surroundings even when he seemed to be at his most serene, as his eyes quickly opened and met Rias' troubled gaze.

"Is there something wrong, Master?" the bowman asked.

The Devil broke eye contact with her Servant in order to push herself up with one arm, the blankets falling to her waist. Just like before, he didn't react to her naked body and she didn't mind him seeing her like this. In fact, her attention was focused on another matter entirely — specifically what happened last night…

"Archer," she began hesitantly. "When I gave you the name Shirou, it… it elicited a negative reaction from you." She stated, seeing his open mouth to speak, but continued before he could. "Don't try to deny it, your excuse back then was obviously fake. Even if we met not that long ago… I could just see that something wasn't right. Tell me, do you seriously not remember anything by now about who you are?"

The Servant of the bow remained silent for a minute before getting up from the bed. He stretched his arms for a bit before pushing his hair to the back. "I suppose I can understand your concern, Master. Now that I think about it, my reaction did showcase some negative emotions. But it isn't as bad as you might think it is nothing majorly concerning or a secret of any sort — you're just mulling over it too deeply in my honest opinion."

"You're dodging the question, Archer." She said sternly, not willing to let this matter go. "I understand that there are some matters you wish not to discuss, but… I don't want you to keep any negative feelings bottled up inside you around me. If something is bothering you, then I want you to be honest with me."

To her surprise, he chuckled. "Mah, my Master is certainly quite caring for someone like me. I would like to remind you that I am in fact a person who died long ago. What you see before you is merely a copy in a way of the original who resides in another world entirely. There is no need to worry about me, I am no human, Devil, or any other phantasmal creature that will exist in this world for very long. Such is the nature of a Servant's very existence."

Those words shook Rias' heart, not only because of how dark they sounded, but rather how nonchalantly he said them. There was no sadness, no anger, and not a singular trace of bitterness in his tone. "Is this… is this really how you see yourself?" She said, clenching her hands while feeling her eyes start to warm.

"This is not a matter of my perspective differing from another person's. This is the truth; one that is hard for you to accept, I see, but a fact nonetheless. I appreciate your concern over my well-being; that is a part of you I can even say I applaud you for having — given how many Magi see Servants as slaves or disposable objects. Though in your case, you're worrying about the wrong thing." 

Rias thought about what he was saying for several seconds before their true meaning hit her, and the heiress berated herself for not realizing the heart of the matter sooner. 

Ashamed, she lowered her head. "Do you… do you hate yourself?" the words came out as barely more than a whisper.

As silence encompassed the room, Archer turned around to face her. He sighed before putting his hand on her head, ruffling her hair gently. "Now, where did you get such a ridiculous idea from?" She noticed how he didn't deny her claim, how he was still dodging the question while keeping that casual smile of his. 

"So you do remember…" Rias felt the guilt inside her grow with each passing second. This continued for nearly a minute before Archer finally decided to break it. 

"I can't say how long I've been a Heroic Spirit; time is a strange concept when you exist outside of the cycle of death and reincarnation. But I do know that I've existed this way for so long, that most of the life I once lived is now little more than a blur. And of the few memories that I still have…" A flaming city with burned carcasses of people who had died screaming in despair, the one man who found him in the sea of fire with a smile on his face, a certain stubborn twin-tailed girl, and a gentle spoken kouhai. "…There are some parts I would prefer to leave behind, for the sake of both my sanity and those around me. And again, it has nothing to do with the name you suggested, Master."

Rias gazed at her Command Seals, the symbols of her control over Archer and the bond they shared. Having the power to demand anything she wanted from the Servant in question — going as far as being capable of having him kill himself. But, it could also be used for other things, making a Servant stronger in battle or… 

'No, I can't do that. That would go against everything I believe in and I promised to never treat him like that.' Even so, a traitorous voice whispered inside her head, pushing her to use the Seals to just make Archer talk about his past and the things he was hiding. But that thought was quickly squashed into oblivion, and Rias scolded herself harshly. How could she even think of doing such a thing in the first place?

But still, she wanted to know even a small bit. She wanted to know her Servant and find a way to help him, even if only in the future. So against her better judgment, she asked, "Is there… truly nothing you're willing to share with me?" 

Archer let out a disappointed sigh, though Rias couldn't tell for certain who, or what, it was directed at.

"It's not that I'm not willing, just that I don't think you'll find any of the scraps I remember from my past useful. You'll probably even think that it was a waste of time."

Not able to take it anymore, Rias angrily got up from the bed, letting the blanket fall off her body before standing on the bed on top of Archer with her hands set on her waist.

"Stop saying that!" 

"Eh, saying what?" The Servant blinked in confusion at his Master's sudden anger. 

"That! You're constantly mocking yourself and talking about your own history and legend like it's not worth anything! Like you're of less value than an actual object and don't even see yourself as a person!" 

Archer, for the most part, didn't know how to react to this. Maybe he went a bit too far and his words ended up offending his Master more than he expected. This went a step further when Rias lowered herself to rest her body fully atop Archer and wrapped her arms around his body and pressed herself against him.

"Guess what? I do care about you and so do the others in my peerage. Koneko has taken a liking to you, Kiba was impressed with your skills and I think Akeno will most likely try to reclaim her dominion over the kitchen from her new rival. How do you think all of them would react to what you're saying without being saddened?"

"..."

This was quite the conundrum, she was quite emotional and caring over the tiniest thing. Which again, wasn't a bad thing in his opinion. But he didn't expect that kind of feeling to include him. He knew at one point his past would be known by the girl; the dream cycle would reveal as much sooner or later depending on how long this pact would go on for. He just preferred to avoid this particularly complex part and not have her get too curious about his past, seeing as nothing good would come of it. But given how she was acting right now and the possibility that it could worsen, he decided to indulge her a bit.

"Alright Master, if you start crying then I will truly become the worst Servant." He joked, trying to lighten the mood, but Rias didn't budge. So with a sigh, he continued on, "There isn't much to tell from my past. I used to be quite a naive and delusional boy when I was young, always trying to be a hero and 'save' as many people as I could. That boy never stopped or wavered against any sort of threat, even if it was guaranteed to kill him. You could even call him a blind idiot on top of that."

"I don't see anything wrong with that… You're a hero now." 

"Saying that so casually without knowing my past… you're truly a very trusting Master. But I must tell you, my past self wasn't trying to become a hero out of a selfless desire to aid those in trouble. He just latched onto an ideal that slowly turned into an obsession before taking over his entire reason to exist. I don't hate myself, that is far from the truth, yet at the same time not that far from it as well. My legend is not one to be proud of, and not something anyone should ever go through or seek to emulate. You'll know what I mean by it soon enough. Don't think I'm trying to keep it a secret from you, it's just a lot to explain with only mere words. Does this satisfy you, Master?" 

He made sure to give the bare minimum without going into any unnecessary details. Rias would feel hurt if she knew this, but he still didn't feel comfortable with her knowing his history yet. The redhead may have already put a lot of her trust in him, but that wasn't the case on his side. 

"A bit. I still think you weren't wrong to choose to become a hero, as I would never have met you if that were the case."

A choice huh? That was quite arguable, but he didn't refute the girl and just accepted her words.

"My my, how selfish of you, Master."

"I'm a Devil, it is my very nature."

That made him chuckle again, "True, I can't argue with you there. Though I still suggest you drop any lingering curiosity you may have regarding me; there is nothing but disappointment awaiting you in the end. Heck, if I had any say in the matter, then I wouldn't even count myself as a proper Heroic Spirit." 

"I refuse."

"Master you-"

"No." Rias interrupted as she tightened her arms around her Servant. "You made it to the Throne of Heroes for a reason. I'm your Master, and this is what I've decided, so I won't hear another word of you devaluing yourself."

The two of them continued to stay still like that together in silence for some time, until Rias heard Archer sigh at her words, and his arms finally returned her embrace. "What a terrible Master I have, that she won't even allow me to voice my own opinion about myself. How devilish on your part."

"Shut up," Rias murmured half-heartedly, "you're my Servant, so that means you're automatically the greatest Heroic Spirit in existence."

He was sure a certain King of Heroes would find such a comment either offensive to the highest degree or hilariously foolish. Then again, so would a particular Pharaoh who shared many qualities with the late King.

"Your words, while truly kind, are wasted on me, Master." Archer said with half of a smile. "But enough of this. You need your rest – this coming weekend may prove to be an eventful one, what with that boy's big date and all…"

[Break}

-Kuoh-

The raven-haired girl who had recently confessed her crush to a certain pervert, Amano Yuuma, smiled at Hyoudou Issei as the two of them walked toward the fountain in the middle of the park. The sun was setting and their date was about to come to a romantic and heartwarming end.

"I sure had fun today."

"Yeah, this was the best date ever," Issei replied, but gulped and felt a shudder run through him as his hand brushed against hers, and an idea hit him, 'Dude, I think this is my chance to make a move!' 

Everything had gone smoothly, a perfect date with little to no accidents or anything else which could have ruined the magical experience. Issei was deeply thankful to his mom and dad for having given birth to him, because now he could finally experience the life of a normal guy with a freaking girlfriend!

He took her hand, and Yuuma gave a small gasp, but it changed into a gentle smile.

Aside from a smile of his own, Issei actually managed to keep his cool as the two of them walked hand in hand, but on the inside, this simple but undeniably important gesture made him ecstatic.

'I'M TOUCHING HER!' 

The pair then stopped a few meters from the fountain with no other people in the area. The sun had already started to set, painting the sky in a beautiful, deep orange hue. In his opinion, this made the scene more romantic and made it the perfect environment for the legendary kiss! Yuuma's hand slipped from Issei's as she skipped ahead of him before turning around.

"Can I ask you a question?" As she said this, the young girl slowly walked back toward the boy who had gone out of his way to ignore his own perverted tendencies — for the most part — so that he could be a good boyfriend to her and treat her to a nice day.

"I'm happy with how our first date turned out, and for that, there's something I'd like you to do. To commemorate this special moment, you could say."

Issei's heart was hammering at nearly two hundred beats a minute. There could only be a single direction in which all of this was heading. He'd seen it before countless times in the many eroges he'd played throughout the years. 'I'm gonna get to kiss her! I'm totally gonna kiss her!'

Out loud he said, "Sure, you can ask me for anything you want." He was prepared to give anything and everything she wanted and even going so far as to possibly burn his entire collection of porn if she felt uncomfortable with it in the future. It was a sacrifice that would certainly cut into his heart, but for her — it was nothing.

Yuuma smiled, and looked up at the boy with nearly closed eyes, and asked:

"Would you die for me?"

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"Eh?"

Issei blinked, and chuckled nervously. "What'd you say? Sorry, I think there must be something wrong with my ears. Could you maybe say that one more time, please?"

Yuuma leaned in to whisper in his ear, and this time the voice that she spoke with sounded deeper, more mature… and sinister.

"I want you to die for me."

With a dark chuckle and an evil look in her eyes, Yuuma unleashed a burst of power causing her body to grow, becoming more developed, which shredded her clothes and laid her body bare to the world… a certain aspect of which immediately captured Hyoudou Issei's full and undivided attention.

'Breasticles!' He mentally screamed. 'Those are boobs… I am looking at boobs! My little boy's eyes have finally grown into manhood! And she's a super hot chick too!'

So focused was Issei on his "girlfriend's" breasts, he failed to notice other aspects of Yuuma, such as the dark, leather-like material that had seemingly been created from nothing to cover her in a fetishist, yet undeniably cruel-looking outfit. A thong-like series of straps with a thick one on one side and three thin ones on the other served to cover her lower extremities, while a few straps on her upper body functioned as a makeshift bra, with one strap supporting each breast and another barely concealing her nipples, leaving the rest of her chest exposed. She also wore thigh-high high-heeled boots, and gloves that ran up the length of her arms with a small length of chain and even a few spikes jutting out from the shoulders.

He also failed to notice the black-feathered wings that had sprouted from her back.

'What's that old saying?' he continued to ramble on as he treated himself to the visual feast. 'This is totally a sight for—' finally the second-year student of Kuoh Academy noticed the rest of his so-called girlfriend's body, and he fell backward on his rear, shocked as he took in her new appearance. 'Wait, no it's not. She looks like a demon! …Are those WINGS?!'

"Well I have to admit, I did have some fun today," the one who called herself Yuuma sneered. "Considering how naïve and childish you are, things could have been much much worse." She then brought up her left wrist and mockingly admired the fluffy pink bracelet that Issei had bought for her on their date. "Thanks a lot for the gift too, I admit I quite like it — I'll keep it as a memento of our time together, short as it was. Very sweet. But, even so…"

She then extended that same hand, and a bright magenta light shone from the palm, quickly condensing into some kind of bizarre spear.

Issei gawked at this, confused as to what the hell was happening. The light show coupled with the sudden change in his date's behavior and appearance were becoming too much for the boy to process, and she was more than happy to take advantage of his dumbstruck confusion. 

"It's time to die!" She laughed as she plunged her spear into Hyoudou Issei's chest…

…Or she would have, had it not been destroyed mid-thrust.

The winged woman's eyes widened as her spear of light was shattered like glass, and reflexively flew backward to stand atop the fountain as she tried to figure out what had just happened.

'That wasn't the brat's doing,' she internally growled, realizing that someone uninvited had seen fit to disrupt her plan. 'It was some type of projectile, so who—'

The answer to her unfinished question dropped right out of the sky to land between her and Issei: a tan-skinned, white-haired male dressed in red and black, with a strangely shaped black sword in his left hand which reminded her of the Yin symbol. 

"Who the hell are you and what business do you have interfering in this matter?!" She screamed, furious that someone ruined her mission and broke her light spear! 

Unfortunately for her temper, the man's reply was infuriatingly casual. "Oh, just a passing samaritan who happened to be in the area." he shrugged, his features far too relaxed given the situation he was in. "I noticed that you and this boy were about to conclude what I can only assume was a romantic date with a nice walk in the park and a lovely kiss as the sun was setting, but then you instead tried to murder him. Care to tell me what that was all about? Or perhaps you'd like to offer the boy behind me an apology first?"

The now-revealed Fallen gritted her teeth in fury at the man's sheer audacity, but then she realized that she wasn't getting any feeling of Demonic Energy from him like those Devils — so it was very likely that he was just another pitiful human. She smiled cruelly and laughter erupted from her mouth.

"Why would a Fallen Angel, let alone one even half as beautiful as myself, ever have to justify herself to lowly worms such as the two of you?" she sneered. "On top of that, even if you were deserving of an explanation or an apology, there's no point in wasting my words on dead men!" Her intentions made clear, the Fallen Angel crafted a new spear of light and hurled it with all her might at the man in red.

But instead of being skewered, or even trying to dodge her attack, the man simply turned his left wrist to twist the sword he held and seemed like he planned to use it to intercept her spear of light with it. The creature that had once bathed in the divine light of the Almighty before being cast down from Heaven laughed at this man's feeble attempt at a defense… only to be rendered speechless when the black sword obliterated her holy spear as soon as the two weapons came in contact with one another and created a small shockwave around them that made Issei fall onto his butt. 

Not only did the white-haired man not so much as budge from his position, but his arm also remained still without even buckling under the pressure of the force. 

"Funny," the man muttered, not even bothering to look at her as the shards of light dissolved into nothing around him. "If you can't even put a single scratch on a 'lowly worm' like me…" he looked the Fallen Angel dead in the eye, and at last, she began to realize that there was more to this strange human than she had first thought.

"…Then what does that make you?"

Even if he did have some surprising qualities, this entire ordeal was still humiliating for the Fallen Angel. She had been thwarted by a human; the disgusting creatures that still crawled in the dirt even after thousands of years of having the gift of magic. These pests would always die after a matter of mere decades, a single century at most. Yet in spite of their pathetically short lifespans they still spread like locusts; never content with what they had; always seeking something new to infest… and now, one had even tainted her with the curse of failure. 

No! She hadn't failed yet! That was merely a fluke on his part; no lowly human could ever defeat her!

"Take this!" Another ball of magenta light gathered around her palm before it extended into a third spear which she held firmly this time. Her wings flapped once as she flew straight to the sky above before hurtling the weapon with all of her strength.

"Well isn't this quite a familiar scene. Still too slow." He spoke casually before pushing the boy far away with a single kick and side-stepping at the last second to evade the incoming attack.

Bang!

The spear missed him by a few inches, impacting the ground behind him and piercing the stone. He eyed the weapon curiously, going so far as to touch it with his bare hands and humming in contemplation. 

"So this is Light Energy. Despite its peculiar tone, it's been willed into the shape of a throwing weapon. Yet still not strong enough to be used in close combat without shattering as soon as it encounters any resistance… To be honest, I wasn't expecting a Fallen of all things. Guess I was being too cautious before. I overestimated you." 

His comment further infuriated her, the gal of this human to humiliate her like this… "Haaaaa!" This time, she rushed forward with a fourth spear in hand, prepared to pierce and disembowel this bastard in a single strike. 

But just like last time, she was proven to be out of her league as with a single swipe of his sword, her spear was split into two right before her eyes. It happened so quickly that she didn't even have time to react, her face still showcasing bloodlust and fury. The same sword that cut her weapon came back, and the hilt struck the side of her head — sending the Fallen flying like a ragdoll into the fountain.

"GAH!" Her head buzzed like never before, she could only hear a loud ringing along with the warm feeling of blood streaming down her temple.

'This… can't be possible!' She thought with frustration. Because of a human, she had failed in her objective. She had failed Lord Azazel… But no matter how much she hated this, the fact was she couldn't beat this stranger, not on her own at least. She needed to fall back, regroup with her comrades, form new plans, and call in old favors…

She was running away, there was no other way to look at it, but this was a Fallen Angel who would not fight a battle she knew she couldn't possibly win.

And the insult this man had dealt to her was one she intended to repay a thousandfold.

"Enjoy this minor victory while you can," she spat at the two men — one of them now hanging on top of a tree branch from Archer's earlier kick — spreading her wings as she took to the skies. "Because all too soon it will turn to bitterness and ash. When we meet again, despair and agony will be the only concepts in all the world that define your existence!" the Fallen Angel called out as she made her departure. "Know that before your pathetic lives come to an end, you will beg Raynare for the sweet release of death!"

Archer was feeling a distinctly strong urge to scoff at this "Raynare's" claims as she flew away. Even if he hadn't been able to get a feel for her approximate level of strength — didn't feel like he was missing much — if the Fallen followed the same general rules and ranking as Devils, then she was easily among the weakest of their kind having only a single pair of wings. He doubted she could even lay a scratch on him if what he was seeing now was her full speed. Servants on average could move faster than what the human eyes could track and he himself was no slouch in that department.

'She has no idea just how outclassed she is,' he thought to himself as he watched Raynare make her escape… or her attempt of one at least.

That this Fallen Angel had attempted to derail his Master's plan was bad enough, but that she would have done so by murdering an innocent boy after toying with his heart for no discernable reason other than for the sake of her own amusement only served to seal her fate.

So he Traced back his bow he used earlier and a Reinforced arrow. The Servant notched his arrow, and pulled back the string as he took aim at the black dot fluttering in the air. If she was ten times faster and that much farther away, plus more aware of her surroundings, she might have been able to avoid his shot. But with the way Raynare was in reality, one arrow would be all that was necessary to bring her down — something like a nameless Noble Phantasm would frankly be overkill.

But before he could fire, someone else closed in on him. 

"No, don't!"

Archer's head snapped down to see Hyoudou Issei tugging on his bow arm with all the strength he could muster, trying desperately to throw off his shot.

"Please… don't kill Yuuma-chan." the boy whimpered, tears leaking out from his eyes.

"..."

'Is this boy serious?' He'd have to check his head later on. Maybe he suffered some form of concussion and was being delirious. 

"Boy, are you serious?" Archer demanded. "You do realize that just a minute ago she was trying to kill you, right?"

"But…" Issei stammered "she had so much fun on our date. I saw her smile and heard her laugh. She was happy…" he then looked at Archer, the look in his eye showing the Servant that this boy before him had questions about what was going on, and he needed the man who had come to his rescue to have the answers.

"What did I do wrong?" he asked, no, begged, the man in front of him. "Please, tell me where I screwed up with Yuuma-chan!"

'The kid's in shock,' Archer frowned. 'Not surprising though – his first encounter with the mystic side of the world was also his first girlfriend suddenly trying to murder him.'

Which, he wouldn't lie, would have made him chuckle if such a thing had instead happened to a certain redheaded boy from his own world. In which case, such a thing could have been an enjoyable show where he would have been to watch the girl do the deed without him interfering.

'Let her go, Archer.' He heard Rias say to him. 'She will be back with more of her group later on. This is an advantage for us, as it will in turn allow us to stamp out the lot of them with a single strike.'

"..."

Alright, if she deemed it so then who was he to say otherwise?

Archer allowed his bow and arrow to dissolve into motes of light which quickly faded, and gently pried Issei off his arm before grasping the boy's shoulder with his left hand. He was still crying, trying to pull his arm despite the bow having vanished. 

"Get a hold of yourself, boy," Archer's voice and actions failed to snap Issei out of his reverie though. That being the case, the Servant grabbed him by the collar and tossed Issei into the fountain.

"Wah!"

Water splashed everywhere as the boy panicked for a few seconds before returning to his senses as his savior stepped in front of him again.

"Are you going to listen to me now?"

Issei hesitantly nodded, but that wasn't good enough for the Servant of the Bow. All too often people would nod or say that they understood something, when in reality they hadn't even been paying attention to half of what they'd been told.

"No," the Heroic Spirit said sternly. "Don't just nod. I want you to tell me that you heard what you're supposed to be doing, and what that is."

Issei gulped nervously. "I… I understand. I'm listening."

"Good." Archer took a step back, allowing Issei to climb out of the fountain. "The first thing you need to realize here is that Yuuma was never your girlfriend. In fact, I'm fairly certain that 'Yuuma' isn't even her real name. It's Raynare."

Archer saw denial flash in the boy's eyes, and raised a hand to halt any arguments from him. "I say that because the simple truth is Raynare never had any interest in pursuing a relationship with you. She simply disguised herself as this Yuuma girl and used the pretense of wanting to be your girlfriend as a front so that she could get close to you and kill you." He didn't hold back the truth, Archer had no desire to babysit the boy and let him process the events slowly.

Issei's eyes were the widest they'd been all night as the cold hard truth was laid out before him in clear terms.

"But… why?" he cried. "Why would she do that?"

"That's not for me to say; you'll have someone else explain to you the reason soon enough. I came here for one purpose alone, and that is to keep you safe from any possible danger. Now that my task is done, there is no longer any reason for me to remain here." 

"W-Wait, you're just going to leave me here!? After everything that happened, you're leaving without telling me anything!? This has got to be a fucking joke! Yuuma-chan and I were having a great time until she suddenly grew a pair of wings and you came out of nowhere and hurt her, you bastard!" Issei shouted out in frustration, only to have Archer ignore him the entire time as he was focused on talking with Rias.

'Again, are you sure you want this kid, Master? He's in denial that the woman who calls herself Raynare was planning on killing him.' 

'I'm sure. Go ahead and use the flier to summon me; it'll probably go much faster if I explain the details myself.'

'Yes, I have the suspicion that you being here will be more effective than having me try to get through this brat's head.'

Issei meanwhile, had continued to grow angry at how this handsome bastard was suddenly ignoring him! He tried to grab his collar but ended up with a swift punch to the gut for his effort.

"Keurgh!" Spit flew out of his mouth, he nearly blacked out from the pain but still managed to remain conscious. Little did he know that had barely been a love tap.

"Calm down will you? My Master will explain everything to you soon enough." And with that, he grabbed the boy's hoist him upright, and used his other hand to search his pockets before retrieving a small pamphlet with a Gremory circle in the middle. "You see this? This is a summoning circle of sorts. By focusing your wish or desires into it, you'll be able to call forth its creator — who happens to be my Master. Don't ask me how it works, even I question how such a spell functions without requiring a ridiculous amount of Magical Energy. Anyways, my Master originally planned for you to do it by yourself in case of any danger, but then again, neither of us expected a Fallen Angel of all things to try to kill you so quickly. In the end, I had to intervene to keep you from losing your heart. Though I feel you already lost it given how you're obviously still worried about Raynare despite her attempt on your life."

Honestly, Issei wasn't paying an iota of attention to his words by this point, being much more concerned for his stomach and probably bruised ribs.

"I-I'm… g-going to… p-punch you… in the f-face… asshole." Issei said through his gritted teeth as Archer released him.

"Get in line, kid."

The Heroic Spirit focused his will on the magic that had been ingrained into the sheet of paper, calling out to his Master through it.

Almost instantly, the paper burst apart and three rings of crimson magic spun in the air for several seconds before settling on the ground to display the magic circle used by Rias Gremory and her household, before the woman herself appeared in a brilliant flash of silver.

Hyoudou Issei couldn't stop himself from gaping as his mysterious savior's enigmatic Master turned out to be the most popular girl in his high school.

"R… Rias G-Gremory-senpai?"

The redheaded beauty gave the boy a disarming smile that worked like a charm. "Hello Hyoudou-san, I'm glad to see you're unhurt." She then turned her attention to the most powerful being present for the conversation. "Thank you for keeping him safe, Archer."

"Just doing my job, Master. Though it honestly wasn't anything worth praising, given how weak the opposition was." the Heroic Spirit shrugged, arms crossed.

She felt herself sigh inside her head. 'Honestly, why can't he ever just take a compliment?' He did provide hints to her about a possible tragic past with his legend, which he still refused to give any details about. And his self-loathing tone whenever he spoke of his past self surely played a part in it.

All in all, Archer's own assessment of himself was that for all his power and incredible talents, he was ultimately worthless as a Heroic Spirit, and thus completely undeserving of happiness or praise. And just the idea of that broke Rias' heart every time she thought of it.

Rias quickly discontinued that line of thinking. This was neither the time nor the place for that, and even if it were it wouldn't get her anywhere.

She remembered watching the scene through her familiar thanks to a bit of magic her Servant had taught her, and realized she had seen something weird. "Were you using a sword, Archer?"

"A very astute observation, Master, I'm impressed you managed to identify it." He said sarcastically.

"... We'll talk about this later."

This wasn't the place or time to talk about it.

"What did you tell him so far?" she asked, still looking at her Servant.

"Nothing really," he replied. "I believe you are better suited at that part than me. Besides," he pointed at the boy, whose gaze was fully and unashamedly focused on her breasts. "He's clearly far more likely to listen to your every word than mine, seeing as you already have his… undivided attention."

"...I can't argue with that." Rias sighed. "Now Hyoudou-san, I'm going to give you a brief explanation so listen well. You probably never had any way of realizing this, but deep within your being there is a power that has slumbered within you from the day you were born. Properly honing that power could make you quite strong, and very dangerous. That is why Raynare attempted to kill you: to prevent you from ever becoming a threat to her or her superiors. As for why I'm here, you can say I've come to hand you an opportunity."

Issei blinked in confusion at those words. "What do you mean… opportunity?"

"The words I'm about to say are simple, but they will change the world as you understand it. To start," she held up a hand, and crimson magic formed atop it before coalescing into a condensed orb of destruction. 

"Magic is real."

She let it dissipate until nothing remained.

"And all the other tales you heard about growing up that you thought were nothing more than stories? They're all true. Heroes, monsters, dragons, gods, Angels, Devils, and Fallen Angels. All of these things and much more do exist."

Issei's mind was going around in a loop. He'd seen what happened when Raynare had tried to kill him, but his mind hadn't really been able to process it. What he saw didn't even factor into the equation of what he knew to be possible at the time, so in his shell-shocked state, he had denied it. But this red-headed hottie had just proven to him that magic — not some college dropout's trick to impress little kids, but real, honest to god magic — was actually real, as was everything else he'd always thought only existed in stuff like video games and anime.

"For better or worse, Hyoudou Issei," Rias continued. "You have stumbled into the world of magic, and it has taken notice of you. When you break it all down, you only have two options to choose from going forward." She said, holding out both his hands to emphasize this choice. "Your life will either come to a very abrupt and quite possibly painful end in the near future… or your life will be forever changed in ways you never imagined to be possible."

"You're joking…" he asked, not knowing how to take in all of this information. He was even wondering if he'd perhaps been drugged or something, and all of this was an elaborate prank set up by the kendo and Occult Research Club on him as revenge for all the times he and his buddies kept peeking on the girls. 

But then, his stomach throbbed with pain from the previous punch and he was reminded that this certainly didn't feel like a prank.

"I know this may seem outlandish and completely out of the realm of reality, but it is the truth. I'm not expecting you to agree with everything I say, but know that I just want to help you. Do you understand me?" He hesitatingly nodded his head. "Good, to keep you alive and protected, there are a few things I need you to agree with and I'll also answer any questions you may have afterward."

The second-year high school student looked at the woman in front of him, fear, confusion, and uncertainty plaguing his mind, causing the teenage boy to ask the only question he could think of to the only person he knew who seemed like she might be able to provide an answer.

"What… what should I do?"

"In short, in exchange for more power and anything you could ever dream of accomplishing, you will devote your life to me."

"Excuse me?" Issei asked, though his mind was getting wild with the many ideas sprawling inside his head as his eyes went back to her boobs. "Does that mean… Will I be able to touch your boobs?"

Hey, he had his priorities! And the answer to that question would be an important factor in his decision!

…For him at least.

He was met with a frown from Archer along with a harsh glare from his sharp, hawk-like gray eyes that sent a chill down his spine.

"Uh- um, I mean-! W-what… should I expect serving you to be like? I-if I accept the offer, that is."

Rias chuckled, "Oh don't worry, I'm not a cruel master. I treat all of my peerage members as if they were one of my own family members. I love all of them equally and I promise to never treat you any less than them. I swear to you as a Gremory that I shall never treat you as anything less than what you deserve."

The boy blinked. "Who… who exactly are you, Gremory-senpai?"

Rias tapped a finger against her chin. "The answer to that is more complex than you probably expect, and I believe it would make things simpler if I explained what I am first."

Issei's eyes widened to comical proportions as a black pair of wings vaguely resembling those of a bat burst out from Rias' back.

"The woman who just tried to kill you was a Fallen Angel," Rias began. "I, on the other hand, am a Devil. Most humans think that we're the same thing, but that's not true at all. They once served the ruler of Heaven but have long since been banished from His realm, whereas we have resided in Hell from the very beginning. Now as for who I am, I have the honor of being the heiress to the House of Gremory, one of the oldest and most prestigious Devil houses in all of Hell."

Surprisingly enough for Issei, he managed to get over his shock regarding Rias' true nature relatively quickly. "Um, o-okay," he stammered. "Uh, so who's he? Is he another Devil like you?" he asked, pointing at Archer.

Rias' smile widened as she introduced the person she could honestly say she was most proud to have in her service.

"This is Archer. And he isn't a Devil, he's my Servant." Rias began. "Now I don't mean he's my butler or bodyguard when I say that. 'Servant' is a title given to the spirits of legendary heroes once they're summoned to the physical world and placed in a special container, after which they form a familiar contract with the one who summoned them, their Master — which in Archer's case is me. Unlike the standard familiar though, Archer can retain his free will and higher thought-processes, and more impressively despite only having a fraction of his true strength as a Heroic Spirit due to his current status as a Servant, the amount of power he wields is nothing less than incredible."

Archer breathed out heavily through his nose as his Master finished introducing/glorifying him. "In layman's terms, I'm the ghost of some forgotten hero and am currently in the service of Gremory-sama. By the way, Master, unless my memories of recent events were somehow distorted, I'm fairly certain that I actually am your butler as well as your bodyguard… and even a body pillow of all things." He said that low enough for Issei to not hear it, but she certainly did.

Rias did her best to ignore her Servant's attitude while pushing down the blush creeping on her face, and focused her attention back on Issei.

"Is there anything else you would like to ask, Hyoudou-san?"

"Uh… I can't really think of anything at the moment. Sorry." he answered.

"It's perfectly fine. Now if you don't mind, I would like to get back to the reason why I have come here before you in the first place." Rias said gently.

"R-right," Issei stuttered. "Devote my life to you or something?"

"More or less, I would like an answer from you in regards to my offer; Hyoudou Issei, will you allow me to resurrect you as a Devil so that you may join the ranks of my peerage and swear to serve me?"

Issei blinked. "Hold on, what do you mean 'resurrect me as a Devil?'"

To her credit, Rias didn't miss a beat. "Technically, any member of any species can join a Devil's peerage, but in order for them to do so they must become Devils themselves, at least in part."

"But what about Archer? You said he isn't a Devil."

"Yes, but Archer isn't a member of my peerage, he's my Servant. And even if I wanted to, I don't think I could forge a familiar contract with you, Hyoudou-san. The method I used to form a pact with Archer is… irregular to say the least. Besides, if you were a familiar, that would make it impossible for you to advance yourself in Devil society, as you'd be seen as nothing more than a pet. So I ask again, Hyoudou-san: do you accept my offer?"

Despite the kindness that his senpai exuded, Issei couldn't help but still be nervous. After all, in order for someone to be resurrected, there was typically something else that came right before it. And that thought caused sweat to begin pouring down his face.

"Will I have to… die?"

Rias blinked before hastening to reassure him. "Oh, no! No! Nothing like that. I mean, I can understand why you'd think that, but no, you won't have to die, Hyoudou-san. The method Devils use to resurrect other beings into Devils can be done if the individual in question only died a few minutes ago, but it works perfectly if they're still alive as well. The process might feel a bit weird, but I promise you it won't even hurt."

Part of Issei was tempted to say no, go home, and pretend that this whole night had been nothing but a bad dream. But one quick glance at Archer's no-nonsense stance reminded the boy of the position he was currently in thanks to his brief "relationship" with Yuuma-chan, and how right now, not only was Gremory-senpai offering him to protect him from them and train him to use this power she seemed to think he had, but she was,, in fact the only person who was offering him any kind of help with this bizarre situation.

But… would it truly be worth it in exchange for giving up his humanity?

Archer, seeing the boy hesitate, decided to phrase things in a language he was sure Issei would understand. He had been around the boy long enough and heard enough information about him to know what made him tick. Even if it pained him to say such words.

"Devils can have harems and if you became one you could get married to dozens of girls all at the same time… and touch their chests all you like." He said dryly, forcing himself not to slap the boy's face upon seeing the stars that were shining inside Issei's eyes.

"Okay, I'll do it! I'm in!" 

Rias glared at Archer.

"What? Everything I said was true, and he was taking too long to answer."

Nevermind, she would deal with him later. For now, Rias simply smiled at Issei's acceptance. "Splendid! Now, just hold still and I'll take care of the rest. Oh, and do try to relax. Right now the best thing you can do is to keep calm."

The redheaded beauty then raised her right hand, and a small magic circle shaped just like the one she used to teleport herself appeared above it, vanishing to deposit seven small figures constructed out of what looked like red marble into her palm.

Issei looked at the object in confusion. "What's that?"

"This is what we Devils call our 'Evil Pieces.'" Rias explained, holding the Evil Piece between her thumb and forefinger. "They're based on the pieces from the game chess. Are you familiar with it?"

"Er, a bit," Issei replied. "I've played, but only a little since I kind of suck at it."

"It's fine, what matters is the pieces themselves. As the master of my peerage, I of course hold the position of King. My second in command is the Queen, and the Knight, Rook, and Bishop pieces serve as my offensive, defensive, and magic support units respectively, each of which I have two. Finally, of course, we have my sev — uh... eight Pawn pieces, which typically serves as the front line in battle."

"Okay, cool," Issei said, starting to get a little excited. "Does that mean you're gonna make me your Knight or something?"

His words were clearly amusing to Rias, as a chuckle emerged from her lips. It was at that moment that Archer chose to speak.

"Use your eyes, boy. If you're at all familiar with the game of chess as you claim to be, then you should be able to identify the piece my Master is currently holding."

Issei did as instructed, and as he realized what position Rias intended to have him fulfill in her peerage, somewhere in the depths of his mind his dream of one day having a massive harem of hotties with boobs that were all at least the size of his head, shattered into a thousand pieces.

But it didn't stop there. Even as the fragments of his lifelong dream flew apart from one another and away from him, Issei could see his vision continue to be worn down even further by the relentless, unforgiving force that was Reality. Eventually, all that was left of his dream were flakes of dust blowing in the wind, so small and fleeting that, try as he might, Hyoudou Issei couldn't grab onto a single one. And as the last speck of his greatest wish vanished from his sight, Hyoudou Issei fell to his knees, alone within the newfound emptiness of his mind, and all he could do was cry out at the unfairness of the world for taking away even the possibility of the one thing he desired most.

After all…

'Chicks do not dig Pawns.'

"Are you fucking kidding me!? Couldn't it be something better, Senpai!?"

Archer nodded at this sentiment of supreme disappointment; he felt the same way when Rias announced she was aiming to bring this perverted brat of a boy into her peerage.

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The next 5 chapters of Snafu, Harry Potter and my 3 other Fate fics (Fate Coiling Sword with 3 chapters, A Fake Familiar Reborn with 3 chapters and To love a sword having 4 chapters) are already available on my P@treon. With 4 more Broly chapters at /NimtheWriter. Also, I post monthly commissioned arts on each story, already posted a few on an Archer's Promise, Broly and Snafu.