PROLOGUE: RESOLVE

I sigh. I don't know what will happen today. All I know is that it will be the start of hell for me. Being in a place inside a great wall and surrounded by guards will be like I'm in prison. The grandest prison that maybe all girls are dreaming to live in, except me. None other than the Imperial Palace.

I am Princess Yuki Ayane Rei, the last Princess of Daichi Kingdom. I am one of the few girls included in the selection for the Crown Prince bride and will be the next Empress of the Empire.

Today, after three months of training at the Imperial Mansion and Imperial School in the heart of the city, I need to enter the Imperial Palace at last. I will live there for a year or until the day of the selection.

What will be the life that is waiting for me inside the palace? Will I be able to face the powerful people inside? Some of them are ambitious, greedy, and willing to trample anyone that will go against them. Will I be able to perform the duty waiting for me, as the hope for our people?

As of now, I am already starting to feel nervous and scared, I feel the pressure. Whatever happens to me inside the palace, I have to persevere. I won’t give up. I will face the powerful foes, the nobles, ministers, and even the most powerful person in the Empire with courage and bravery. I won’t the arrogant and haughty people trample or overthrow me. I will fight!

If they won’t play fair then I guess I won’t either, even if I have to play dirty. I will make sure that they will play my game and I swear to make their life inside the palace a living hell. Someone like me, a badass war-freak princess, will bring chaos to the untainted and firm governance of the Imperial Palace.

I will not waste the sacrifice I made. Choosing my duty, my responsibility as a princess over the chance to be happy will never result in naught. I’ve chosen to do my role, my task rather than to be with the guy I love.

Sometimes, we need to sacrifice something for the benefit of others. We have to think about what’s best for everyone, that trusts us with all their heart and sees us as their light of hope before ourselves. If you want to be truly happy, do your best to achieve it without hurting anyone so that you won’t have any regrets in the end.

With my decision, I may not be able to have real happiness. To live happily with the one you love. But whatever happens, I will never regret choosing to be a princess. If the result is saving everyone from danger. All I ask is for them to live freely and happily.

“We arrive at the Imperial Palace, Princess Yuki. Are you ready? You may come out now from your palanquin.” I heard the voice of my trusted lady’s maid that disrupted my train of thoughts. I heave a deep sigh to calm myself. Is this it? Is it now or never?

Slowly, the door of my palanquin opened and at the same time, I felt the sudden kick of nervousness in my chest. I accepted the hand, offered by my personal guard to support getting out. He and my lady’s maid are both from our kingdom and they are my trusted people not just in this journey but in the whole Kingdom of Daichi. And now, we will face this new ordeal, a new life inside the palace together, they will be with me under this selection process or until needed.

A tall and grand reception hall in front of us was captured by my bare eyes the moment I came out from the palanquin. The arch and the door are adorned with grand ornaments and I bet my life some of them are in gold or expensive jewels. Just one look and you can tell that it is an embodiment of luxury and splendor. Inside the hall, the family of the Emperor is waiting, including the girls like me. Girls that came from noble families and were also included in the selection process as a bride, the competitors.

I tightly closed my hands in a ball to stop myself from running away. One step. Just one step and that’s it, everything I have will be left behind to face a new world. A world never in my wildest dreams I wish, never had an appeal to me.

One look at the things that prove the new life waiting for me, the new life I have to face. The courage, bravery, and confidence that I have vanished in a blink of an eye. I can feel the cold sweat in my body and the urge of going back where I came from, to the place I am more comfortable.

“I can do this, right?” I whispered in a hush and trembling voice.

“Yes, you will, Princess. Since it is you, we believe you can do this. Yoshie and I are just here, watching your back,” Shuji, my personal guard responded though the question is more for myself.

I tried hard to relax and calm myself, then lifted my foot and started walking at a slow pace to enter the hall. Shuji and Yoshie are careful and alert while following me. They know that despite the fact that I am the one who decided to do this it is still hard for me.

With one step that I take, I feel different emotions. Just one step but I can feel my chest tightens, making it hard to breathe as if I am going to suffocate. Tears starting to fall. I looked up to stop the impending tears flowing in my cheeks. I can’t let myself before the Emperor and Empress with tear-stained cheeks.

I saw the clear sky when I looked up, unlike my muddled emotions at the moment. For the last time, while looking at the clear sky I asked myself. Is this the right thing to do? Is it right to give up the person that did nothing but love me with all his heart? Is this worth sacrificing my love, my very happiness?

What should I do? Once I set foot inside, there’s no turning back. Am I really ready for this life?

I watched the way of the grand reception, the way to enter the palace. If I continue, the happiness that I wished for will never happen. Because the happiness I seek can only be found with him.

If I won’t continue, the stake is going to be the kingdom, something that I can’t afford to lose. Its status will be shaken and the Yakuza will surely do everything they can to get their hands on the Kingdom of Daichi. When that happens, our people will be in great danger. They might lose what they had, their freedom, and worst, their lives. There will be disorder and uproar not just in the kingdom but in the whole country if the chosen bride and next Empress will be coming from the families allied with the Yakuza.

Now, Ayane, what should you do? I talked to myself. Will you proceed ahead or will you turn back and run away? This is your last chance, you need to have complete confidence and resolve in yourself, with your decision and you have to stand for it.

“Princess, are you alright? Princess Yuki… hey. Princess Yuki!”

I turned to Yoshie when I realized that she has been calling me for ages. “What is it, Yoshie?” I asked her.

“We’ve been standing here, outside the hall for quite some time,” she reminded me.

“Let’s go inside, Princess Yuki,” Shuji motioned us to continue and is trying hard not to show that he is worried about me. “The ministers and nobles might become impatient waiting for us.

I closed my eyes tightly before taking a step forward. With resolve, I continued my way to the reception hall, accepting that this was the path I chose to take. I almost turn back when I am just a few steps away from the entrance but hold myself. The moment my feet set inside the hall, I know there’s no turning back. This is my choice and will stand for it. Also, for the sake of the guy, I truly love.

I may be far away from you but my heart, my love will always be with you. Whatever happens to me here, I will only love you, it will be just you. I will love you for the rest of my life. Still, I wish you happiness. I hope that someday if fate will allow, I can return to your side. In our next life, let’s have a different ending, let’s be together. I know it’s selfish but I also wish that in the deepest part of your heart, a part of me will stay. Goodbye! I love you with all my heart, my king knight!

I spoke through my heart and whispered goodbye to my beloved. This time I wasn’t able to stop my tears from falling. At the same time, I took my final step to enter the palace grounds.