3 Not Evil Enough

Whoa whoa whoa, calm down. You just got here, you can't be killing anybody yet.

"I'm not killing anybody."

Then what's with the knife? Gonna intimidate them to death?

"No, I'm going to ask them nicely to hand themselves in. Obviously."

And if they don't?

"Simple. I start taking fingers."

Look you need to calm down, Carla said they'll be sold tomorrow, that gives you a few hours before anything serious goes down.

"Exactly. So give me a bounty. I need the reward."

Bounty? Reward? Who do you want me to send you after, the local drunk? No, sorry, can't. I went through a lot to get you here. Bringing someone back to life is not in my pay grade.

"Oh, it's not? Well then I guess this should convince you well enough." He says sarcastically, plunging the knife into his leg.

What the fuck are you doing?? Are you serious??

"Th- throwing a fit, that's what I'm doing.. You need me alive, don't you? Come on, bounty, now." Jake says, gritting through the pain.

Honestly, you're truly pathetic. But you know what? I'll humor it. Let me just handle... the... leg?

"Why are y-" Jake trails off, noticing his leg is already back to normal. "What the fuck is that. Gabe, what the fuck is that."

Relax, relax, this is all part of the uh... the plan.

"Is that so? then why did you seem so surprised?"

Well uh, funny thing... Remember how I said bringing someone back to life was above my pay grade? I may or may not have, I don't know... Forged your signature on some silly contract.

"Wait, you- you forged my contract? Contract with who, what??"

With well, with me. I signed a contract for you with me saying that you would do the things I tell you to do, and in return you get rewards and well, a bit of my power.

"A BIT of your power?? I'm sorry, did you not notice my leg is in PERFECT condition?"

Yeah, yeah... I didn't expect that honestly, but hey, bright side! You get a healed leg to take on your little bounty you begged for.

"Right, right... Well, what about the reward?"

Check the app.

"Which one, I forgot already."

Come on man, I just- you know what, fuck it. I'll show you. One second. NNNNNNGG. MMMMMGGGG. RRRRRTTMMMNN.

"What's with the grunting?"

With a puff of smoke, a handsome boy appeared in front of Jake.

"HOLY SH-" Jake exclaims, stopping in his tracks and stumbling backwards.

"Cool, huh? Yeah, been working on this one for a while." Gabe stated slyly, obviously proud of himself. "Wait, who's that narrating now that I'm here?

I'm just the normal narrator, pay me no mind.

"Okay... Well, that aside, what's the plan Jake?" Gabe asks, as Jake flashes a devilish smile at Gabe.

"Say... Gabe... You realize you're a child, right?" Jake asks slowly, trailing unto a maniacal laugh.

"Yeah, what of it? I told you, runt of the litter." Gabe responds with his head low, clearly embarrassed.

"Well, now hear me out... You're perfect bait." Jake explains, recovering from his laughter. "Now between the two of us, if either of us was gonna kill anybody, it'd be you. You don't mind, right?"

"Mind? Of course I don't mind, but bait? Seriously? Why bait?"

"Well..." Jake trails off into thought. After a moment, he snaps back on track. "If you go in after the girl and lay low, I can cause a ruckus outside while you help her escape."

"Yo- you realize that makes YOU the bait, right?" Gabe asks, with a confused tone.

"Yep, I realized that after suggesting it. Anyway, sound like a plan?" Jake replies, chuckling.

"I wouldn't mind.." Gabe answers, annoyed. "But what about the bounty? Do you still need it?"

"Of course I still need the bounty. I mean, you did give me a map to track them." Jake says, while waiving his phone.

"A ma- oh of course, yes... The map- WAIT A GODDAMN MINUTE." Gabe exclaims, as if he just realized something important. "YOU SET ME UP TO APPEAR DIDN'T YOU."

"Yes, yes I did. And it worked." Jake responds with triumph.

"I- you- fuck it, I'm already here." Gabe sighs angrily.

"Besides, you're about her age, aren't you? Physically, anyway. When's the last time you had a friend?" Jake questions Gabe teasingly.

"Oh, friends? We don't really do friends down in Hell. It's very hierarchy based. There's Lucifer of course, than his left and right hands... Anybody below that is just trash really, we never interact. I was kinda exiled a couple hundred years ago; apparently I'm not 'evil' enough." Gabe mutters that last bit, kicking the dirt.

"Not evil enough? Man you took me and threw me 200 years backwards into the multiverse, what do they know." Jake responds light heartily, shoving Gabe. "And don't lie to me, you think the girl's cute don't you."

"Cu- cute?? Noooo, no. Never. Nope. Just doing this because you forced me. Yep." Gabe stutters, nervously looking around.

"Yeah. Uh huh. Well anyway, about the plan, can you take me to where they keep them? You seem like you'd know." Jake asks, stopping in place and looking around.

"Right this way, your holiness." Gabe sticks an arm out down a dirt road, going into a low bow. "Dick."