12 Suffocating

I know I can leave at any moment.

There are so many options around me.

I know initially the feeling of fear I'll encounter before the jump, I know I'll be shaking but I have confidence in the leap.

I've had practice.

The worst thing is knowing that I can't leave.

The longer your alive, the more reasons you have to stay.

The investment in the relationships with others and in yourself keep you holding on longer.

With knowledge, you become more wise, able to even be at peace at days.

Some feelings win over others, some days aren't the same.

When the apathy wins over every other emotion and your mind is free from the attachments.

I can't leave but Im constantly thinking of ways to escape.

Im struggling to find peace in my erractic distressed mental state.