13 I don't know how I'm still alive

I can't believe I'm still here.

Every year it gets harder to justify staying,

every year it gets harder to leave.

Im at the edge of a scale that weighs success and suicide.

Ive been hanging on for a long time.

Theres no guarantees of happiness because the present is constantly being created.

I dont want the controls to reach the end, I just wish I could've never put my money in.

I can feel myself losing strength to move everyday, and to do the things I enjoy.

I don't know how much more I can go, whether it's long or short.