1 A change for worse
She opened her eyes with a groan and tried her best to rise from bed she waking from, to a cold that seemed to cut into her skin that seemed to ignore that she was completely clothed and covered and with good straw as the one made her bed. Sister Anise was yelling for her and the four other girls in the room to get ready for morning mass. It was the months of demons, and as much as she didn't want to rise to a day with no sun, the wind from the window that the Sister forcibly opened made a possible yet uncomfortable sleep in the cold but with with fire now dead made it impossible due to the rooms temperature likely guaranteeing she'd die if she tried to.
She didn't like getting up to pray so soon as she woke. Those stiff moments never were as heartfelt than when she prayed on her own in the afternoon after finishing work, she wondered if a will to follow god could even be sincere at all when at a mandated time?
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After the boring morning mass in which she tried to pass the time counting the moments left till the priest would demand a response from the audience or when a hymn would come up to stop the monologue of a man who seemed to have more talent to lullabies than sermons. There came the moment when she and the others were finally free to sluggishly go for breakfast. She had a feeling that this day was gonna be a bad one.
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"Why does she get more food than us!?"
Seeing Sister Anise about to give another ladle-full of oatmeat to Drist when the others got only half of one finally made her angry to the point of rebuking her, not caring whether she would be punished after, as the manish Drist was the only girl among all those in the convent that seemed to be getting fatter while others occasionally even fainted living from meal to meal.
"Jealousy is a very grave sin child. She plays the bell and needs her strength." Sister Anise paused giving her a look that was supposed to be holy and wise but always simply showed her condescension.
She felt slightly glad even though she got undeservingly insulted.
Because she had a comeback.
"Playing the bell is something she should not be doing at all since that is a job... a chore that is supposed to be of those who completed the 3rd sacrament to become a proper member of the Church! The holy book says so! As no one should have the right to guide others beside those that properly represent the light of God! And so it is in any function that implies guidance such as awakening the acolytes much less the bell that is vital to even the chief priest in the convent!"
Sister Anise actually looked surprised for a second then looked like she swallowed a bug and somehow wanted to spit it back in her face. Sister Anise then looked at Drist with a look that seemed ready to discharge her frustration at her which made the girl leave hastily without her extra ladle.
Much to Zero's delight.
She finally won a bout against that evil woman that used her limp and her bad eyes to have an excuse to everything, and was the nun of her station that had the most free time(even napping in the afternoons) due to in a way being allowed to distribute more of her work to the acolytes and as she seemed to always exaggerate her misfortunes with the priests near. She knew this because the woman had once gotten ill and her replacement was more diligent to the point of bringing tears to her eyes when Sister Anise had recovered and due to the evil woman never much tripping unless in the presence of the manager priest, such cases she'd even grasp at the walls or even fall to dramatic effect.
Finally after years of being taken for a fool due to being short and ocasinally getting distracted in her thoughts by many she now finally fell her greatest foe! What she hated most were people that used pretty words and being a senior to take advantage of others, it's like they were rotting by learning from Sister Anise's example... finally after first dealing with many of the minor evils she honed herself, and without without stuttering, losing track and many other problems, she had managed to make the leader of this movement lose in a way that she could not rebuke without losing more face before the sisters of same rank present on the meal!!
Zero having been already served and now in a good mood did not notice as the woman huffed and then looked at her with a smile that seemed to consider herself the true winner...
After the meal Zero then went with the other girls of her dorm and had lessons until noon and after those ended they'd then begin their chores. But she was stopped by a slightly more disgruntled than usual Sister Anise.
"You have been called to the cloister. You are to wash yourself and then follow me on sundown."
Zero may not like the sister much but she replied politely and went to draw water and go into the bathing area in which firewood was expectedly already present for the once a week bath they had due to such cold weather instead of towel washes on others.
She wondered what was going to happen? Was she gonna receive the next sacrament early?
Was she going to be transferred due to Sister Anise?
She knew of similar situations but they were rarely connected to poor performances among the acolytes. Many model students or workers had this happen to them. Myrna had been one of them, she missed her...
The sisters said they were serving god's will. Now she felt honored to be joining them. She wondered if she should say goodbye to her dorm-mates? Though they started avoiding her since she started getting verbal with other acolytes and Sister Anise(in the latter case getting punished too).
After finishing and putting a new set of clothes she went to Sister Anise's cell and waited the rest of the time.
She was then escorted to a thick door with two guards in the inner grounds.
Nothing could have prepared her for what would become the worst day of her life.
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She felt pain everywhere…
She felt shocked… not knowing what to think….
She felt… dirty….
She cried till her eyes were beyond red…
She now just wanted the kindness of falling unconscious….
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After the hell was finished she and the other miserable girls were carried to a wide room with no windows with straw likely used for their sleep.
There, she was carelessly washed with a cloth and forced to drink a foul liquid.
After, she was just put on a rough robe and left alone.
The others were no exception, not that she noticed then...
She just went towards the straw and again begged for slumber…
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She didn't know how much time had passed…
She just wanted it to be over but all nights were the same…
She just wanted them to stop.
She begged many times.
She begged them on the god they pray.
Then she prayed herself.
It went on…
She now just wanted it to end…
As usual a sister and two guards would fetch them back to that nightmare.
The guards were the usual.
This time the sister though was Sister Anise.
It was like the woman was dealing with a morning calls to get acolytes out of bed.
Inconsiderate as always.
As the guards were taking some out of bed to be washed and not damper their "beds" sister Anise approached her to do the same.
The woman attempted to drag her by the arm.
She didn't feel like helping her, not caring if she was to be dragged or carried to be washed…
-You're always intent on causing me hardship aren't you?
Zero immediately turned her head in her direction with wide eyes.
Is this woman self-absorbed to the point of stupidity!?
This woman really justifies ANYTHING with any reasoning except of just her own laziness...?
The sister looked at Zero as if she was looking at someone that was refusing to comply due to a tantrum.
She wished she could understand this woman. To show her just how wrong she is.
She wished she could make herself understood. To crush her measly thoughts with her own.
She wished to be not hurt at the slightest movement. Contrary to his hag that seemed to ignore her current state.
The sister started frowning and gripped her cuffs. -"Hmph! How long are you gonna laze around on me brat!!"
She snapped.
At the moment this vile woman seemed to be everything wrong with the world.
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The world seemed to change around her but her pain and her hatred made her unfazed while releasing a primal scream of pure hatred.
First she wanted to rip her clothes.
Then she wanted to stab her to death.
Then the woman reacted by shoving her back.
But Zero had never been more determined and kept slashing and stabbing until she was gone.
But she somehow she knew she wasn't.
And her frenzy continued uninterrupted as she ignored the woman that pleaded covering herself with her arms.
She vanished again.
And then again.
And then she was gone.
What followed was akin to drowning in digusting sewer water that flooded the insides of her head while feeling the impatience of waiting for what seemed like time lengthier than her own lifetime.
And it was.
She understood most of it.
She was a fallen.
Feeling the vile sister's every thought onto her mind feeling like her mind was being bathed and tainted with such an atrocious substance that even this much intimate understanding of the other couldn't make the experience more pleasant.
She now knew the woman trained her walk and counted her steps not to trip.
Knew how sad she felt by being unattractive.
And a thousand other things that made such knowledge nigh irrelevant due to how despicable she was.
Gladly again she fainted.
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She'd wake to many priests interrogating her: some civily, some unpleasantly…
Their stones made them untouchable.
Next person she'd see were men in armor they made her kill.
Then more of them as they had been less capable of altering her thoughts than the vile woman.
Her body wielded a sword even there being no calluses in her hands.
She felt fervor blooming in her chest.
It felt compulsive and unnatural, she felt like the inside of her head was drowning.
They said she'd learn to be pure.
Then she was visited by Myrna and some priests.
Then she killed her.
She didn't acquire her power.
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Her suffering birthed her power.
Many years later she served under a great man.
A man she would have willingly died for.
For many years later she no longer drowned.
She was a sea.
But little ago she was given purpose...
THE END
