12 The Value of Life

Aisha was alone in her room contemplating how the day went. The ambush, though it could hardly be called that, had left her not completely knowing how to interact with the other two, specifically Testa. Even though she was in a slightly sour mood, she was still able to dutifully provide support in the way of showing the two where they could stock up on goods before they eventually had to turn in for the night, not showing that the day's events affected her too much.

She continued to ponder in her bed as to why she felt so uneasy. After calming down quite a bit, she realized that Hinata's logic, while cold, was merciful. She couldn't imagine how many times she had seen monsters maim her comrades and how the pain must have driven them to beg for death.

*So, it must be the circumstances surrounding it…?*

Perhaps that was why she was uneasy? Bandits had started cropping up more and more due to the food shortage situation, but even though she fought some off when they were trying to enter the forest, it was clear that they were doing so in order to survive. The bandits that they faced today were the kinds who simply enjoyed plundering, killing, and raping. Perhaps if they had been raised differently, they would have joined the military, but that was an if scenario. The bandits that attacked them- that we attacked, ­she reminded herself, would have been bandits regardless of whether the kingdom prospered or suffered.

No. That wasn't the reason she felt uneasy. To be completely honest, she wasn't even sure why she felt uneasy. It wasn't like the death of those people should have mattered to her. And besides, they were well within their right to defend themselves.

*Perhaps that is why I feel so uneasy?*

Putting the pieces together, she realized the core of her anxiety. The reality of taking a life that wasn't some beast or animal was something she was not accustomed to. Though she was no stranger to death in her almost forty years of life, it was always due to natural circumstances, and the most gruesome death she witnessed was during a failed hunt where they trespassed too far into a bear's territory without realizing it, and a member of the party got mauled to death. It traumatized her, but she could only see it as a natural death and something to watch out for in the future.

She mockingly laughed at herself for this. *How can I even call myself a bodyguard?*

All of a sudden, it felt both like the weight of anxiety fell from her shoulders and the weight of burden took its place.

But this time she welcomed it. If she was going to take a place in the war, she would have to get accustomed to the feeling of killing others. To the feeling of knowing that she was the reason why someone else would no longer live. It was simply inevitable, and if she was going to feel uneasy from every death she witnessed, she had no place being anywhere near Souma, much less a blade.

*But, even when I do eventually kill people, will I have a face like that?*

Remembering Testa's face in her mind, it was quite clear that she held absolutely no regard for the people she killed and acted like she was more concerned about making good time. In fact, she was certain that she would have just left them there to die if Hinata hadn't ended their suffering.

That was the one thing she didn't want. She wanted to retain at least some humanity while still being able to kill others.

*Though I feel I should ask Hinata about this along with some of the other knights. Testarossa… just gives off a weird feeling.*

Resolving herself to get closer to her fellow guard, she drifted off to sleep.

In another room, a different conversation was happening.

"She doesn't seem to suspect us of anything." The white-haired woman said.

The black-haired woman gave her a pointed look. "You didn't use any mind control on her… right?"

Testa gave a fake pout. "Please, Rimuru-sama has been very thorough with me about not using it on others, especially in this world. Besides, she would never be able to pose a threat."

"I'm still wondering how the hell no one is suspicious of you using '-sama' with his name. And start taking off your clothes."

The two were currently in their room with plans to best assuage Aisha of any doubt that she has regarding the previous day. Fortunately, it seems that their worries were ill-founded, and even better, she was going to ask Hinata about the mentality one should adopt on a battlefield.

Though her last comment through off Testa. "I thought we were just going to sleep…"

"We are."

This puzzled her even more. "So why do I have to take off my clothes again? And why are you taking yours off?!"

"A, because I want to see everything Rimuru did to you, and B, because eventually you'll have to get used to sleeping naked with other women in the harem. Besides, it's pretty comforting."

Though she tried to weasel her way out of it talking back and forth with Hinata, the best she could manage was just sleeping in their underwear. Hinata gave a whistle at the bruises over her body and teased at the still-healing red marks on her ass cheeks, but eventually it died down and they climbed into bed with her being the little spoon.

"Hinata?"

The brunette hummed in response, tickling the back of her neck.

"How much should life be valued?"

"Are you pining over what Aisha was thinking?"

She nodded her head in silence.

"To be honest, I have no idea. If we're talking about the four bandits earlier today, I personally would have killed them if it was just the two of us. The only reason I didn't is because Aisha was there."

Testa just listened and Hinata took it as a premise to continue. "As you know, killing people takes away any future they might have had, good or bad to both the person and the people around them. I know that in the demon society, the weak must bend to the will of the strong, and it's seen as right. The human society operates on a much more complex measure."

"I'm aware of that, and quite frankly, it's just frustrating. It frustrates me because Rimuru-sama understands the importance of strength, and yet still chooses to acquiesce to us constantly. It frustrates me even more in that I see the reason as to why he does it. He constantly gives multiple chances to us."

Though there were multiple instances she had in mind, the one she was referring to was when Diablo messed up the handling of Rayheim.

She knew of that incident all too well. How couldn't she? When Diablo was going on one of his tangents about Rimuru, he would never shut up about how he felt when Rimuru granted him a second chance with no strings attached.

The important takeaway from this is the no strings attached part. Most in the demon world were given a second chance, but it came with severe restrictions or punishments, such as servitude or being sealed away for a few decades, and it was a miracle if there was ever a third.

"And yet, it's the reason as to why he has amassed so many people around him."

Hinata chuckled at this. Currently, almost half of his executives and three of his wives, five if Shizue and Kumara are counted, have tried to kill him at one point or another.

"Well, that is undeniably true. That loveable blue blob somehow works his way into the hearts of his enemies. But the main reason as to why he was even able to do that in the first place is because of his strength. It can even be said that is his strength."

After she finished talking, she could feel Testa start to tremble. Before she could ask what's wrong, Testa stopped, and she felt her shoulders release tension that she wasn't even completely aware of before rolling over and facing the ceiling, a melancholic look in her eyes and smile.

"That's what bothers me. Doesn't that make how I used to live wrong?"

The air around them was completely silent for a few moments before she took a deep breath and continued.

"To the demon race, a viewpoint like that is foolish and naïve at best. You'd immediately get taken advantage of. And yet, if didn't do it, he'd never get to where he is. I've tried to analyze it as best as I can, and yet, the results are consistent through and through."

She paused again, waiting for Hinata to say something, but she was just intent on listening.

"Does that mean I should have given more chances? Does that make all the lives that I ended wrong? I've thought about this on and off for over a decade now. How would my life be different if I adopted Rimuru-sama's morality from the start? Wouldn't I have far more to give him?"

*Would she still be alive?*

This type of side to Testa was completely new to Hinata, but definitely not one she was unfamiliar with. Her own past wasn't exactly picture perfect, especially with her extremely sociopathic nature from a young age, evident by her killing her father before she was eleven. She was confident that without meeting Shizue and later serving under Luminous, she would have been a ruthless murderer.

Even despite the things that happened to her, she still took a while before being able to finally come to terms with her past self, and that took plenty of help from everyone around her. She couldn't even imagine a scenario where she was able to enjoy the bliss she has if she were to solve those problems alone.

A little while passed before Hinata began talking. "Have you talked to anyone else about this?"

Testa shook her head. "I've had a couple conversations with Shuna here and there, but nothing too deep."

"Hmm." Though she wanted to ask why she was having this conversation with her now, she felt the best thing she could do was offer was advice.

"Well, it's as you said. In the demon world, leniency is seen as a weakness to be exploited. Even if you are a primordial, I don't think that your strength alone would have saved you from the mentality that many of the other demons had at that time. Perhaps it could have worked, and perhaps it wouldn't have. But one thing remains clear."

She gently turned Testa's head towards her and touched their foreheads.

"Regardless of what actions you took, right or wrong, they led you to the man you love, that we all love and get to enjoy. I think I can speak for everyone that we would all choose to do the same actions over again if it meant an eternity with Rimuru. At the very least, I would."

This time, a much more genuine smile appeared on Testa's face as she hummed in affirmation. Logically, she knew that there was no point in ruminating over the past in which she had no control over. Hearing it from another felt relieving to say the least.

She squirmed her way into nestling underneath Hinata's chin. She couldn't deny that the comfort she felt from her breasts was sublime. Before she drifted off to sleep, she still felt she needed to say one final thing.

"Though I wish I could have this talk with Rimuru-sama."

Hinata scoffed. "Oh, so I'm just a second-rate Rimuru, huh?"

Testa giggled at the sarcastic comment. It was leagues away from the normal way she would react to anyone talking negatively about him, regardless of who they were outside of Rimuru or maybe Veldora, but she felt she at ease. Maybe because it was coming from one of his lovers.

*Perhaps I really can change.*

"Hinata?"

"Hmm?"

"Thank you. And I love you."

She was a little surprised at the comment, as members of the harem were usually more physical in expressing their intimacy and love, but she accepted it.

"I love you, too."

She gently stroked the woman's white hair as her breathing shifted into a softer state before confirming she was asleep. As she was about to join her fellow woman in sleep, a gentle voice came from her soul.

[I'm glad everything went all right.]

Ever since Rimuru married the women who were not subordinate to him, he worked with Ciel to ensure a soul bond between them. The nature of a soul bond was still relatively unfamiliar territory to the both of them and something Ciel has spent her focus on being able to understand more in-depth.

It was possible that Guy could help supplement their knowledge, but he wasn't about to give his information away freely, especially if he knew how valuable it was to Rimuru. Guy was smart enough not to be malicious around Rimuru, but he was certain he would still think of something deviant and somewhat humiliating to pay him back with.

[You were listening in on our heartfelt conversation? Pervert.]

[I wasn't-! Ah you know what, forget it. Arguing with you is a losing battle. I just wanted to say thank you for handling things when Testa came to you with her troubles.]

[Of course. We're grown women after all. We can't always rely on some big, strong hunk to get us out of our problems. Though you're not a hunk, unfortunately.]

She could hear a sigh through the soul corridor which only served to make her stifle her laughter more.

[In all seriousness, I'm glad you checked in. Or rather, I would have been pissed if you hadn't. Still, you should come over. She'd be more than happy to wake up to you and I'd be happy to see you as well.]

Shortly after she communicated to Rimuru, he appeared behind Testa and quietly wrapped his arms around her. Hinata wanted to tease him more about why she wasn't the one he chose to embrace, but figured she had enough fun at his expense.

Remembering that her previous question had never been answered, she asked him. "How does no one get suspicious of her calling you with -sama?"

"Oh, that? We just said it was an honorary way to call someone. The only person who thought it was weird was Souma, understandably, but he wrote it off as another quirk of ours."

"Ahh. Also, what was the deal with that wolf girl?"

"You mean Tomoe?"

She nodded.

"Tomoe can also speak to demons, apparently. I guess it's something important or whatever. It's top secret currently, so Souma plans to slowly leak that information to other countries to inform them that they can be reasoned with."

"Ah. Sounds troublesome."

"Indeed. But right now, she is currently adopted by the former king and queen, so she is in a much safer place even if that information were to be discovered. In any case, it's Souma's problem now."

With nothing else needed to be said, they drifted off to sleep.

When Testa woke up the next morning, she was happy to see both Hinata and her lord sandwiching her. The three of them exchanged kisses, but unfortunately, they needed to be out the door soon. The forest was still almost a full day away, and they wanted to capitalize on as much sunlight as possible.

Which is why Rimuru was getting slightly annoyed by Hinata's antics.

"Don't you need to leave soon?"

"Yes, but I want breakfast first."

Hinata was in the process of deftly taking off his pants to suck his member. He honestly never thought a time would come where he wouldn't welcome such an action.

Well, he still welcomed it, he just felt exasperated by it.

"Then go eat breakfast! Don't drink it!" He whispered loudly.

"But yours is so much more nutritious. Don't fight it and just make it quick. I'm sure Testa wants some too."

If you said those words in any other context, you'd be arrested.

As Hinata put her warm mouth over his length, he let out a grunt before swiveling his head to Testa, who looked at him with excited eyes. Accepting his fate, it was only a few minutes of well-performed fellatio before he unloaded into Hinata's mouth, who dutifully accepted every drop and cleaned him up as well.

*She truly does give top-rate head.*

Afterwards, it was Testa's turn. His member was slightly larger than she remembered, but since he was a slime, she just took it as another one of his natural abilities. Undaunted, she took him into her mouth, inch by inch, before gagging after the halfway mark and taking him out of her mouth, coughing with bits of saliva dribbling down her chin.

<<Cute.>>

Rimuru had to agree.

*She must have forgotten about the gag reflex. I don't even know why a being who doesn't need to breathe has one.*

<<Because she chose to make her body still unconsciously breathe for the sake of smell, much in the same way you do, master.>>

*Ah, that makes sense.*

<<Though she can still choose to effectively turn off her gag reflex with the control she has over her body.>>

With Hinata explaining in lieu of Rimuru to her about the gag reflex along with giving her a couple pointers in how to take him in properly, she tried again, this time taking him to the hilt and cupping his balls with one of her hands. He felt her throat tighten up against him, and since he already came once with Hinata, it wouldn't take a whole lot to get him to cum again.

Testa was bobbing her head up and down with her tongue out on her bottom lip as per Hinata's suggestion when she felt his balls start to tighten. This was another technique Hinata explained to her which worked well against Rimuru, and something she would incorporate into her techniques. Sure enough, he warned her that he would cum soon, and from another tip from Hinata, she kept her pace constant until he finally gave her what she wanted.

He tasted surprisingly sweet, much like honey, and the texture of his seed was thicker than milk, but she greedily gulped it down to the last drop and cleaned up any excess that had spilled over.

After they had finished, the three were talking while the two women were getting dressed, they heard a knock on the door along with a voice from Aisha asking if they were awake yet. Hinata answered her and the three cut their conversation short. With their day ahead of them, Rimuru kissed the two of them goodbye before teleporting back to the castle.

As soon as they rendezvoused with Aisha, they had a quick bite to eat before she pulled Hinata to the side and asked the question that was on her mind.

"So let me get this straight. You won the Elfrieden martial arts competition without ever having killed someone? Where did you get your skills from?"

Aisha fidgeted a little before saying, "We dark elves are natural fighters. The last war that we fought in was for this country's founding, and I was still a child at the time. I've fought against the poachers recently, but we've never killed them for fear of repercussion from the kingdom. Yesterday made me realize that hunting and killing wild animals is very different from killing a person, and to be a guard for Souma, I feel I need to be able to do at least that."

Hinata sighed at this, trying to organize her thoughts. Though she knew she was going to ask this, it quickly fell by the wayside when the situation with Testa was brought up, and to her, that took far more importance.

"I'll be blunt. The only way to numb yourself to killing others is by killing others. I'm not saying to become a monster who doesn't feel, but from the way you described it to me, you'd do more harm than good if you hesitate on the battlefield."

Aisha looked uncomfortable at this information, and Hinata sighed again.

"Look, I get it. I've had to kill people before as well, and I can't say I enjoy it. But I personally think you're overthinking the issue. Since you've already been around death, I believe you'll have an easier time being able to take a life. You're not a monster by being able to do that, it's just a side of you undiscovered. The difference between people like me and people like those bandits from yesterday is that I don't indulge in killing others.

Aisha now looked like she understood the message Hinata was trying to say to her. "I see, so balance, essentially?"

"Not essentially, precisely. People like us need that part that can kill without hesitation. However, if you feel like you're ever losing yourself, talk to someone immediately, whether it be Souma, Princess Liscia, Ludwin, Rimuru, hell even me. At the end of the day, the most important thing is to be able to live with yourself the next day."

Aisha felt somewhat more comfortable with Hinata's wisdom, and with nothing else keeping them at the inn, they continued on to the forest.

The journey to the forest was not particularly eventful, and the only real change in scenery was the increase in trees as they drew closer. They actually reached their destination quicker than expected and were able to meet Aisha's father, Wodan Udgard, who was one of the dark elves pushing for more connection with the outside world.

Wodan was surprised to see his daughter return so soon after leaving for the kingdom, and even more so learning that she was appointed to be the king's personal bodyguard. Another reason he was surprised was to see two humans accompanying her.

Normally, dark elves are very exclusive in Elfrieden, only allowing someone outside of their race into their forest if it was the king himself or a person of equally significant standing. Wodan was much more like Aisha in this regard and understood the need to change their ways, but convincing their entire people was much easier said than done. Nonetheless, the three were granted entry due to each of them possessing the king's seal, and they set off to save Aisha's home.

Or, at least, that's how it should have been.

"Well, that was a fucking waste of time."

Aisha winced at Hinata's curt line, but there wasn't much she could refute in that statement.

"I'm sorry. I knew my people are xenophobic, but to think they'd be ignorant to such an extent…"

What they proposed was effectively heresy. The dark elves treated the trees as their saving grace, and the idea of cutting them down was seen as nothing short of a mockery of their tradition. Even despite Wodan backing up their claims by stating what was currently happening in the forest, they threatened to throw him out for daring to side with them. It was incredibly frustrating for Aisha, as to her, as well as everyone who knew how science works, that the reason for their problems was them not taking proper care of their forest.

What's more, this was only her home village, which was near the outskirts of the forest. If this was what they could expect, then they decided that there was no reason to try with other villages. Aisha was still determined in her own way, however, and so as soon as they got home, she would pen letters and just hope for the best. All she could do now was pray that an accident wouldn't happen.

As they had lost their chance at staying in the forest, they took a night ride with their horses at a slower pace until they found a suitable place to rest at an inn. Unfortunately, they couldn't check in as it was well after hours, so they camped near the place and tied their horses to a nearby fence post.

While Aisha was rolling out her blankets to sleep in, Testa and Hinata were expanding their senses and found something that they could really do without.

Bandits. And a lot of them. Though they didn't seem to notice them, the fact that they were camping a mere 5km away from them was a little cause for concern. The other problem was that she recognized the four bandits as the ones she electrocuted

"Should I just go kill them?"

Though she knew that, despite the conversation they had the previous night, Testa really didn't have any qualms killing those who were clearly a leech to society, Hinata decided against it.

"Unless they attack us, they aren't our problem. Once we get back to the kingdom, we can tell Souma about it and let him deal with it."

Testa nodded at this, though she sincerely hoped that they would eventually notice them, she also understood that a group of almost 20 people suddenly disappearing would be a cause for concern, no matter who they were. With that note, instead of fully going to sleep like Aisha, the two of them simply laid down and hugged each other while observing their surroundings.