32 His true self

I was laying under the white silk blankets. The silver leaf patterns on the blanket looked so pretty under the moonlight.

Death well, I mean Azrael... should I even call him that? We all know he's Death by now... there is no need to call him by his human name which surprisingly means the same thing... nothing suspicious there. If you want to know how I figured that out just Google it... Azrael and Death means the same thing. Wow... it couldn't be more obvious and from the situation I'm in it definitely wasn't a "coincidence."

Death still hadn't put the light on so I tucked myself in using the moonlight to see. Obviously I hadn't bothered to change, there is no way I would change in front of this idiot let alone anyone for that matter. How uncomfortable. Once I was all tucked in like a little child. I pretended to go to sleep since I didn't want to talk anymore. Fights are overrated. And from what I know, he wasn't going to spill anyway. So me, trying to figure out what he was going to say next was pointless.

Before I knew it the whole room was silent. Eventually, after what felt like a really long period of time, I opened my eyes to be left dumbfounded... laying on the bed unable to sleep. My head facing downward as I observed Death, lights out on the sofa. He was sound asleep... I never knew Death was so tired.

Yeah, stupid me allowed him to sleep on the sofa because the dumb ass only catered on me, such a nobleman. So honourable. He's lucky I have a heart you know... even if it's cold and made of ice with frosted thorns around it, it's still a heart you know. Hey at least it's something!.. But this doesn't mean I care. It just means I'm human... I'm in denial, aren't I?

Yeah, yeah whatever. Just let me believe the lies I tell myself.

I was still awake and restless because of all the thoughts that ran through my mind. I turned on the bed to move to where the moonlight wasn't shining. My eyes needed a break from the light and maybe this way I would finally be able to get some sleep. So I rotated only to feel something hard in my jeans pocket.

I reached down into the pocket of my jeans as I felt the warmth from under the blankets. After reaching down and grabbing the damn thing that felt rather unsettling, I pulled it out from under the blankets. Only to realise it was... my phone. I had my phone on me this whole time? Right now... well, you can imagine... I was pretty much cursing at myself.

"Holy Fudge and Cheeseballs." I exclaimed holding the phone... the screen lit up. Two unread messages and then I heard Azrael's voice. Did I wake him? I looked down now towards the sofa, my eyes wide as my head rested on the pillow. The phone still in my hand, it's bright light shining on my face. His eyes were still closed as I heard him mumble something to himself but I couldn't make out what he was saying. He sleep talks?

I know what you going to say... you really stupid, right? Yeah, yeah save it for someone who cares. But I think I know why I couldn't feel my phone earlier. Remember when Death paralyzed me... I think that's the reason. It's a dumb theory I know but just think about it... Death paralyzed me... so I'm blaming other people again I know... sorry... guess a gal can't admit when she's wrong.

Soooooo... what I'm saying or trying to say is that this was clearly a side effect from being paralyzed and the reason I couldn't feel my phone is because my bum was numb. The spell must be fully gone by now... I think?

"My toilet humour should be flushed down the toilet, hey?"

Okay enough jokes back to business...

Death was just mumbling to himself. I wonder what he's dreaming about... I thought as I looked down at the sofa he laid on, my head still rested on my pillow. Wait, why do I care? "No." I heard him murmur. "Don't touch me. I'm dangerous." He must be having a nightmare, I thought as I sat up from the bed. I was going to open the messages on my phone and see what they said but instead I ended up putting the phone under the bed and tucking it under the black feathered carpet.

I have no idea what Azrael would do if he found my phone on me. Would he take it away from me? Would he break it? Would he delete all my contacts so I couldn't call for help? Would he destroy it? Break and destroy are the same thing... meh, you get the point. And so because of this I contemplated on where the best place to hide it would be before going to see what was wrong with him. Or his dreams for that matter. Again, why am I doing this?

*Face palm*

I looked everywhere around the room thinking where to hide the phone. Under my pillow? Too easy. In the closet? Too far. In the drawer? He'll open it. On the bedside table? He'll see it. Under the bed? It could work but it's not enough. Under the carpet that's under the bed? Perfect. And that's how I found a hiding spot for my phone. The only thing left for me to do was to go up to Azrael in his dream like state.

To tell you the truth... he's more scary when he's awake. He's just so unpredictable. You never know what he's going to do next and that's what I think makes him scary. It's the not knowing... the not knowing what he's planning. What he's thinking. The fact that he's unstable... that's what makes him scary.

"What can I say... an unpredictable man is a scary man."

Hence the type of person I would most likely run away from... but in this case I can't.

I walked over to the sofa right at the end of the room, the moonlight fully beaming in through the window the sofa was under. It was hard to believe he could sleep through the brightness. The white light already burning my eyes. I walked to him slowly, not wanting to wake him. When I finally reached the sofa I leaned over it, slightly leaning over him as I pulled down one of the curtains to block out some light. Geez... no wonder he was having nightmares, it must be pretty hard to sleep when moonlight is shining in your eyes most of the time.

"Ah Alice." I heard him say now. Damn, pervert!.. Okaaaay... I was assuming it was something dirty, forgive my foul mind. I waited for a moment, a moment of long silence. Oh god... I was still leaning over him. But he looks so peaceful when he sleeps... said a voice in my head. "Awe..." Alice get a hold of yourself said the sarcastic voice in my head now... its tone had changed from before. Wait, did I say that out loud? Yeah, you did. You going to get yourself caught. The voice said sounding annoyed. Don't say I didn't warn you.

I immediately jumped away from the sofa as soon as I realised I had been leaning over it for so long. I heard Azrael again as I moved back a little. "No..." He moved around on the sofa. "Don't touch me or you'll die."

So I guess, it wasn't a dirty dream...

My bad...

Wait, is Death afraid of something?

He's having a nightmare...

"I don't want the same thing to happen to you." He said still trapped in his nightmare. "I don't want you to die like she did... I thought the curse was gone." He shouted as his body went into a fit. He was shaking. Shaking uncontrollably. And so I did what I could to stop it... I touched him and I tried waking him up, I was trying to tell him it was just a dream. A nightmare.

But as soon as I touched him again... it just resulted in me getting flung against the wall. It wasn't his doing... it was just a pulse, like a jolt of electricity had sparked and shot me into the wall. My back hitting against the flat surface as paintings I didn't even know were there fell on me. My chest hurt. I clenched my hands over my chest, feeling nothing but pain as I sealed my eyes shut. I was still laying on the floor. My body in a fetal position as I kept my arms over my chest.

My body ached. I opened my eyes a bit as the pain slowly subsided, only to see a glowing pink light that seemed to be beating, coming from my chest.

"What's happening to me?!" I exclaimed to myself still holding both my arms over my chest. It was like a pulse. Like I could see my own heart beating in my chest. The light coming from it going bright and dim and then bright and dim again. I was still in a fetal position as I felt my chest beating. Glowing. A bright pink light coming from it. A pink light. That's all I can remember before I blanked out accepting the coldness of the hard wooden floor.

~A long space of time goes by~

Empty

Empty

Empty

Empty

Empty

Empty

"Empty was all I knew."

My mind going blank as pieces of it disappeared like fragments. It was shattered like a piece of glass. I couldn't piece it back together. I couldn't piece back the memories of what happened after I was helpless on the floor, a glowing light coming from my chest. What happened after that? What happened in that space of time? I couldn't remember. My mind draws blanks.

And that's just the feeling I woke up to the next morning. I was laying on the bed? How did I get here? I felt around the bed thinking Death would have taken advantage of this situation. He had a perfect excuse to lay in the same bed as me now but when I felt around me to see if he was there I felt no arms around me or in the bed for that matter.

I looked down now... my head still resting on the pillow. Azrael was still on the sofa, sleeping peacefully as if nothing happened last night. Was it all a dream? I sat up on the bed and rubbed my eyes for a bit before standing up and stretching and then heading in his direction. Placing my hand in front of my mouth, I yawned a bit as I approached.

I was confused. I walked towards the sofa until I got to Azrael. I leaned over him again. I know but it was to open the curtain. It was morning so I wanted to get some light in the room. I knew Azrael only catered on me, I could hear it in his tone and that's why I let him stay here... on the sofa. Surprisingly he hadn't moved.

However, because of this jackass... I couldn't show him any kindness since he only views it as me warming up to him which I'm not. He doesn't get it. I'm just being polite. So I made him believe that I needed him to stay in my well, the room he gave me for safety reasons which was a lie. It was out of concern. We all know that. Expect for him. Why do I care so much?

I still had the same clothes on from the night before. I was too lazy to change which led to me sleeping in my jeans and my sweater. I again, was still leaning over Azrael, he was still sound asleep. Well, at least it looked that way. I think he was sleeping. I reached over him to move the curtain and when I finally got it open, the clear blue sky coming into view as rays of sunlight filtered into the room, I was pulled down.

As soon as I got the curtains open I tried to get away from Azrael as fast as I could. And just as I was moving back to get away from the sofa, I wasn't leaning over him anymore. I was about to move back but I was still facing him. I felt arms wrap around me and the next thing I know... I was being pulled towards him.

"Azrael..." I said in a huff, breathlessly. I was surprised. I didn't expect him to be awake. In fact, I didn't expect him to do that. I didn't expect him to do that at all. I landed right on him as he pulled me down. It was uncomfortable to say the least. What? Stop looking at me like that. It was.

"So this is how you sound in the morning." Azrael said in a sleep like tone. His voice sounding more husky now and rough. Like he just woke up which he did. His eyes were still closed as he held me in his grasp. Was he still sleeping?

I was trying to wriggle myself out of his grip but to my misfortune found it impossible to do so. Why am I so weak? Damn, this guy is strong. It's like he didn't even have to lift a finger. I couldn't move out of his grip at all. He probably didn't even use much effort to keep me locked in his hold.

"Let me go..." I huffed. My chest rising and falling. I was still a bit sleepy. I can't believe Azrael had his eyes closed this whole time.

"Ooh... feisty?" I heard Azrael saying. His voice still as rough as ever. "I like it."

I needed to get out of his hold so I did what I had to. He wouldn't let me go. It was his own fault. So I ended up hitting his arms and trying to break loose when I saw that wriggling in his grip was no longer working. "Woah... there tiger." I heard him say as I hit his arms that seemed to get tighter around me.

"Who you calling tiger?!" I exclaimed in anger as I continued to hit his arms. This was the part where I asked myself why I was even doing this. I hadn't even scratched the guy or better yet... got him to move.

"Would you prefer me to call you kitten, rather?" He said in his husky voice, clearly mocking me. I didn't even have to look at him to know he had that dumb smirk of his glued to his face. My eye twitched in anger. Honestly, I don't know which one. He had provoked me. Provoked me to this point...

However, I say this calmly... I was in rage. And when a girl is in rage she will fight even to the point where there is no point.

"What can I say I'm stubborn."

And I might have anger issues... (why am I such a hothead)

Yes, I'm short tempered... but I've been holding back for quite sometime, don't you think? All that anger. Just one big ball of rage ready to be released into the world. Almost like a big ball of energy.

This idiot deserves everything he's getting even if I'm not doing much. And I know I wasn't doing much damage to him but damn, it felt good to punch him. Well, his arms anyway. At this moment... the "Damn, it feels good to be a gangster" meme was in my head (Thug Life memes?). If only he'd let me at his face. Then we'll see who's really scary here.

"Okay!.." I heard his voice go stern as I felt an excruciating pain in both my wrists. My eyes widening in fright. His grip had tightened and I had not realised it yet until the point where the pain was too much to bear. I let out a scream only to hear it echo throughout the room. "That's enough." He continued in the same tone almost as if he hadn't hurt me.

Had I angered him? His face, I imagine to be emotionless now but how could I even see when I was stuck with my back resting against his chest as he held both my wrists tightly in his grip. I was still stuck in his solid and never changing grip. Stuck on this damn sofa.

I felt his grip slowly soften when I calmed and soon felt him move a bit to the side where the window was. He was making space for me? I could finally turn around now.

I was laying next to him. My head resting on his chest. It sounds awkward but actually it was pretty comfy and way better than being near to his face. Since my head was on his chest I didn't have to look at his face. I also closed my eyes just in case so that I didn't have to look at him. So no, it was not awkward. In fact everything was perfectly fine, not.

I felt my eyelids go heavy. I was tired, tired of an idiot and he clearly wasn't going to let me go so well, me being me was going to take advantage of this situation and go to sleep. There ain't no better way to solve a problem than going to sleep. Some people call it running away from their problems. Others call it cowardly.

Well, whatever you say but I'll tell you one thing... it works everytime. The best way to solve a problem is to sleep on it. You up the next morning feeling refreshed and after that you don't know what's going to happen next. It's a beautiful feeling... the not knowing part. I was calm, calm and collected. I had cooled down. I was going to get some shut eye but no "someone" had to ruin that too. Why? Let me sleep.

"I'm sorry..." I heard Azrael say. His voice was just a whisper but it was enough to wake me up. I mean, to prevent me from sleeping. Good job buddy. You really deserve an award. My back was feeling warm for some reason as I kept my head rested on his chest. He was rubbing my back? Right after I got into the position of resting my head on his chest had he started rubbing my back, I just hadn't noticed up until now.

Okay, so after his... "I'm sorry..." this conversation could have gone down two ways and it all depended on my response. Exhibit A: "I'm sorry? I'm sorry?! Is that all you can say?! I'm sorry for what?!.. Kidnapping me? Paralyzing me? Bringing me to god knows where?!.. What exactly are you sorry about? Because I have a whole list of things you should be sorry for..." which most probably leads to an argument.

"Well that's one way to start a conversation."

*Sheepish smile*

However, that depends on how Azrael would respond to my anger. Now, if he said "For everything" I honestly wouldn't know what to say next but it's clear that he wouldn't say this and would probably just start arguing too since we don't think alike. What a girl would like a guy to say and what he actually says are two different things.

Let us move forth. Ladies and gentlemen I bring to you... Exhibit B: Remain silent no matter how pissed you might be. Think happy thoughts and go to sleep which most probably leads to... who cares I get to sleep.

I think it's obvious which one I chose. I chose Exhibit A... because I am extremely stubborn. Nah I'm just messing with you, I'm too tired to start another argument with this idiot. Plus it's pointless anyway so yes, I chose Exhibit B. "Sleep" it gets me everytime.

I was slowly dozing off. My eyes getting heavier and heavier when I heard Azrael's voice cut in again. "I'm up... I'm up..." I wanted to jump up and say because of the fright I got. I was just about to go and sleep when his voice pops out, out of nowhere.

Geez I thought he was sleeping by now because of how silent he was after he had said he was sorry for I don't know what and after I was contemplating to myself on how to respond to his "sorry." It was clear I responded by sleeping.

"Are you okay from last night?" His voice cut in my thoughts. Wait, what happened last night? The words I was thinking rolling off my tongue to what he had said. "What happened last night?" I said well, mumbled. My eyes now a bit closed. I was getting sleepy again but at the same time I was listening to every word Azrael spoke.

"I found you on the floor. All the paintings on the wall were surrounding you. You were laying there unconscious." I felt Azrael's hand rub my back as he spoke on. "I wouldn't have known if I hadn't heard the huge racket you made and I'm a heavy sleeper. I thought you were just sleep walking and had fallen over at the time but when I got to you, you were very pale and cold but your chest had a pink bright light coming from it. When I felt your pulse it was beating uncontrollably. So I picked you up and carried you to the bed but as soon as I got there the light in you chest had vanished. You looked like you were in pain too."

So that's how I got to the bed... I thought to myself as I heard him continue. "I ended up laying by you for quite sometime because I didn't know what was wrong with you. I would have held you whole night but I knew you wouldn't have liked that. It would have freaked you out so once you looked a bit better I left to sleep on the sofa, rather." I didn't say anything after this. I just listened to what he was saying.

Wow... he actually took how you would feel into consideration. What a gentleman. Shut up sarcastic voice. Now is not the time.

Azrael was silent for a bit. It seemed as if he was thinking. I looked up at his face to see that I was right. He was definitely thinking about something. His hand was still rubbing my back and as soon as he looked down... I looked away pretending as if I hadn't been looking up this whole time.

"I wonder if this is part of the awakening." He said probably looking back up now. I didn't bother to look up again. I didn't want his eyes to catch me. "You are supposed to awaken." Azrael said to himself, lost in his own thoughts. "But why so early. Usually it takes quite a few months for something like this to happen. Yet, I think it's happening right now. We have to get you out of here soon though."

I just continued to listen to him mumble on from there until he got to the part where he asked me a question. "Do you remember what happened before you were unconscious?" He said. His voice sounding beyond concerned for me? Weird?

"You were having a nightmare last night and so I... I..." I huffed. "I tried to calm you down. The first time I touched you and I moved you to wake you up, you were fine but when I touched you the second time. That was when I suddenly felt this huge pulse and the next thing I knew I was on the floor. Paintings landing all over me."

I was about to speak on about what happened when I heard Azrael speak again. "The nightmares?" He questioned himself. "I thought the curse was lifted." He spoke. He was worried.

The nightmares?

Death was cursed?

To be continued...