1 Chapter One - This lifetime

Reicarnation... such a funny word.

It was expected pero hindi KAMI accepted, in the end, me and my partner died after 1 year ng pagsasama namin... because of suicide. Mainly dahil sa parents nilang hindi kami tangap.

Pinaglalaruan kami ng tadhana at bigla na lang ako nagising na may memorya ng isang kaganapang 30 years ng tapos. Pareho kami ng nararamdaman, wala sa isip naming biglang sasalubong yung masasakit na memorya sa tyempo ng relasyon namin.

I was just thinking, pano kaya kung ang tinutukoy nilang red thread of destiny ang mismong nagdala samin sa sitwasyong 'to?

This is the tragic love story between Me and My fated husband 30 years before and after the time of our past self's suicide.

Was it destiny and fate pulling strings that made the red heart tied or is it just barely another theater play for those high above?

Is mortal life really that easy to play with?

I met the supposed Gods before reincarnation, an automated divine server with a cold demeanor similar to that of a robot's. When I asked what it wanted just for this awful joke to end, it said that it wanted entertainment... it then asked me,

"Don't you want immortality? I can give it to the both of you."

"I deeply reject!"

"Yung mundong ginawa nyo as a stage play is already boring as it is, your idea of immortality is already flawed for you serve Existence without reason beyond what emotions you still have. Immortality is for losers that can't achieve anything without luck, just like you Gods even if all our literature on Earth said omnipotence is high and beyond what Humanity can comprehend."

"Yes we both can live centuries and maybe even another lifetime in hopes of achieving something further than what our past and present has given us and we would have all the time to explore anything and love till time ends but centuries of life and for what? para malamang sa susunod na habang buhay ay kaming dalawa lang ang pede naming asahan dahil lahat ng mga kilala namin ay mabubuhay at mamamatay habang nasa likod kami at nagdudusa? Madness! Don't give it to Humanity unless you can make sure that the whole race is okay with it."

"Once again, you just proved to so many that even Gods cannot evade being tainted by humans. Wala kayong originality sa lahat ng ginawa at sinabi nyo, lahat ay nakadepende sa experimentations nyo sa machinations ng human life and you start it with US? the two of us? No! If you are a God then tell me, are you the God of mediocrity? You have lived since time immemorial but I'd rather die than put up with your stupidity for even one day!"

I argued with a God. Their most powerful "Main God" and the one deeply responsible for Creation.

All I wanted was to escape this reincarnation loop, they "blessed" to me and my partner. It was already driving me to madness because I can retain my memories but my partner can't.

Imagine just one day your "fated meeting" was all affected by one slight variation thanks to a stupid butterfly effect and then you don't marry or maybe even be forced to see your partner die in front of you as you are incapable of interrupting the course of events if his status is "bound to die" in this lifetime.

I just smile and say that maybe... "Sa susunod na buhay na lang ulit, promise magkikita tayo at magkakatuluyan tayo. Malay natin pinaglaruan nanaman ulit tayo... baka sa susunod hindi kana mapupunta sa iba, baka sa susunod ako naman, baka sa susunod na buhay natin... makukuntento kana sa isa."

Even if I slit my wrist and force my self to die to not see suffering being offered at my plate, once I survived long enough and reincarnated a bunch of times, the grieved memories are all too well remembered.

I started making conclusions na okay lang dahil parehas naman kaming tinadhana at kasama ko sya sa disgrasyang binigay ng Dyos sa larong alam nyang isang malaking experimento lamang sakanya... pero samin,

I settled for less, I felt more like a failure as a lover than a human. I watched my husband die by being run by a bus, a school shooting, an apocalyptic variant of Earth, and even something crazy like him remembering some minor details about his past reincarnated lives but being suddenly forced by the gods to play the major push of the button to prevent something bad from foiling their grand experimentation.

The Gods enjoyed their theatrical experiment while we both experience pain and death like it was breakfast we eat in the morning. A death threat capable of awfuly ruining our whole entire lifetime for that life.

I found out that I have lived a thousand times,

I have experienced so many drought and famines more than the bubonic plague's kill count every time it appeared.

I have become someone on par with existences who became famous for their inventions and discoveries, attended many prestigious universities and I have stored and learned all that the Earth can offer.

I have played the Gods with their little experiment and it is time I've had enough.

And I,

Am going to slay Gods

This mark's the start of my revolt

Gods be wary for thy blood shan't be enough for this lifetime.