14 Stars shine black

The stars… Are so beautiful.

They shine as the sun would, but they aren't because they are far away.

If you would see them from the sun's distance, they would shine the same light as the sun but it would still be smaller. Much smaller.

Why is the sun so different from the other stars?

Is it because God created it to be 'different'?

Who is 'god'? Why is 'god'? And why did he create us and the world as it is?

Why did he create such a cruel place? A place where something 'different' is viewed as bad. And if something is different and it's bad…

Why are the stars different?

Why is the sun so big and powerful but the other stars are so small and weak?

What's the point of the small stars?

Well, you could say so that the night sky won't be so dark. But wasn't the world dark in the first place?

So why make the sun? And why make stars? Why not make the world so bright that the stars would be black?

What's the point…

Of a world where everything different is bad…

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I woke up from that weird dream. I coughed a couple of times and looked around myself. The cell, sand, hard bed. And my cellmates doing morning exercises. Nothing out of the ordinary if not counting the pain all over my body. The pain was so excruciating I was barely able to move.

"Hey, guys Hayden woke up!" Said Estel with a carrying voice, a tone that made my heart feel much better.

"I thought he was a goner." Added Marcus while looking at me waking up with worried eyes.

"How is it now Hayden?" Asked Estel with an ounce of worry in his voice.

"Everything hurts like hell, but I'm okay." A quick answer and a huffed one at that.

"I'm sorry Hayden… If I didn't tell you to hide on the outer edges maybe you wouldn't have to experience that. I could have just protected you somewhere in between the outer and inner part of the arena…" I saw him lower his head and held his eyebrows with his index finger and thumb. He looked as if he really regretted that choice.

"It's all right Estel. I made the wrong choice when I was there… Maybe if I used my brain I could avoid that encounter, you don't have to blame yourself."

"I don't know what happened there, but I think Hayden is right. Even if it would be, because of you. You still shouldn't worry about it in the first place… He was lucky to get us and not someone else, Many people on this floor would do him even worse and you know that Estel!" Matthew shouted, almost angry.

"I know you are right Matthew, but… It's still leaving a feeling that I could've done something else." He looked at Matthew and he then also stopped when he saw Estel's eyes.

"Listen Estel. You didn't even have to tell him that, it wasn't an obligation to tell him about that murderer. Logic wise Hayden would still go to the outer edge and still encounter "him"." Nodded Marcus with an annoyed voice.

"Guys I'm really all right it's just some pain it will disappear in a few days" I had to make that up so that they could rest a little in their minds.

"I hope it won't take longer than five days… If it will then it may be really problematic." Sighed Matthew.

"It doesn't matter now, Hayden needs to rest in his bed. I know this is the place where we are supposed to die, but at least let's keep our humanity and help him… Who knows maybe there will be a chance…" Faltered Estel still wanting to help me.

"You know that there won't be a chance Estel!" Declared Matthew with a strong note.

"We don't know that Matthew. And we never will until it actually happens." Stated Marcus with a really convincing voice. That wasn't enough to stop Matthew from his rants about chances.

"This fortress is fortified with over 100 soldiers, mages, and cougars. And that's if we are being generous with chances. Two generals of level 11 and close to breaking through to the twelfth! Do you think a few, even hundreds of prisoners can do something? Those on the lower floors can't help us, because their powers are being blocked by those damn handcuffs! What we here can do, is nothing! We can't even fart on them! Even a thousand, most people here are starving with less to no energy. This is just hell…" Matthew shouted and after he was done, he sighed really loudly… The rest of us looked down, but not me. I knew that even if the chances were small they never were zero.

My mind was still covered with that insane laughter… The whole night I was thinking about escaping this life… This is pain, Agony. Living a life that matters less than that of a single ant. This feeling of powerlessness is pinning me down, I want this all to be a nightmare… I want to wake up and forget that it all existed, but this is real. That's the reality, a reality that should not exist… Ever, for anyone.

And so I fell asleep, in a deep sleep. With no dream, no imagination. Just a black screen, no thoughts anymore as well.

I woke up the next day before anyone else. Left alone for a short amount of time, I was just casually walking around trying to make that pain go away. After a couple of minutes of walking in this agonizing pain came out of my stomach. They slowly started waking up, the pain flowing out of my stomach made me bend in half. I endured it though and afterward, it was much better.

"If we escaped… What would you do?" I asked the still half asleep men. A short silence went through our cell making this moment pretty awkward.

"I… Want to get back to my family and live a normal life with them again, what a dream haha" Marcus said with a voice of hope ending it with a nervous laugh.

"Revenge. Revenge for my mother. And my life. If I was to leave this place I know that my thought process changed and that overall I changed. I don't think that I could live a normal life after leaving this place, but at the very least I want to avenge that life that was taken away from me…" He looked down. You could see a single tear falling on the ground, a sight so painful that even I felt spikes piercing my heart.

"And I… Don't have anything to return to. I don't have a plan, a dream. Nothing that would still give my life some joy, I long ago forgot what crying is. I forgot what sorrow is, Sadness. I feel like an empty shell with emotions taken away from it. Just some that I never felt and probably never will."

"What will you do?" Asked Marcus.

"What will… I do?" I thought to myself. What do I want? What is my goal? If I ever leave this place, what will I do? Those overwhelming powerhouses keeping their own people down, because they can't fight back. Because what are we without power in this world? Who is god? Does he exist? Was he ever even… There? I don't want to think, my head hurts a lot now. I don't know even why...

If he was, why did he create us? Or is this all a misconception? What can we little ants do? We can unite. We can unite and fight for the glory of this world. But I can't bring anyone, I don't want to have the blood of my comrades on my hands. I need to change this world. For the good of children like me, for those despised by lack of power.

The room went into silence again. Only wind and hubbub could be heard from the outside. We only stared into the floor all four of us, I closed my eyes for a couple of seconds. And appeared in a dark world. Covered in that same blue shroud with a crack in the black void that slowly started growing. This view was as sorrowful as it sounds. I was alone, lonely. The knowledge that I can't take anyone along with me. Makes it even, worse...

There is so much to change. So many evildoers to purge… But I have to do it. If not you Hayden. Who else will do it? Who else will change the world? A world that rejected you. Defiled you, shamed you. Almost killed you, but you are still there.

"This is funny," I thought to myself once again but didn't answer the question outside of my mind. What can I do? literally, nothing, change this world as my goal but no power to back it up... How many fights I would have to fight… How many deaths would I need to survive? How many scars will that create… How long will I fall into that void of nothingness before I will be able to see true light? How hard will life still hit me? How long will this journey be?

Would my success be… Mine? Will those questions finally stop? My head is spinning from the amount of them, too many at the same time.