71 Sacred deer

Saying all those things over and over again makes that anger a lot stronger. Trying to take over my new… Self, the emotionless tool that I inspire to become. What things though? Repeating those things of hatred, hate towards my family. It's incredibly hard to forget those things. It's really hard to not think about my family, about anyone, trying to forget people important for someone, even in hate I think about them somewhat positively…

"Let's follow the deer, we need to make some preparations. Let's take the spears from the cave and carve something on the trees so that we know how to come back." And so we did without any more words, just went back to the rocky room. Took two spears, at this point Bog and Finn that was pretty quiet lately was already awake. Bog didn't dare to look at my face, didn't even try to do it. His gaze was just somewhere else entirely, either on Finn or on the lifegiving fire.

We left the cave and didn't look behind. We found the tracks again and followed its trail, some smell started appearing after several steps. A lot easier to notice actually, more grass was now uncovered and the earth was actually visible. Now it was very easy to follow in the footsteps. We just followed them and went on to find the prey we are looking for, the deer. Stepping slowly, crouching as well. Trying to not get noticed by it, we want to hunt and not have a jog. We just want to hunt it down and have the meat for later. Maybe give it to others from our group to give them something at least, two days before the great break out… I hope we can make it, all of us. Even the sinners of this place, because even if they deserve death. Not in a place like this.

"You smell it?" A smell of urine and something else, I think fecals were left in the air as we were walking. With each step, the smell increased immensely, and my nostrils were filled with that oozing smell of shit. Well, I looked on my sole, feet rather. And they are completely submerged in a brown substance. "Oh, maybe clean your feet somehow." Embarrassing, how can my feet stink like that, and I noticed it just now. I took some leaves and cleaned my feet downright.

"The smell is still in the air though, I know this is the one I cleaned out but maybe you can still differentiate this from the real source. Somehow?" It's very embarrassing to say something like this but in hunters' life, it's probably normal. At least more normal than asking it to someone random.

"Well, I can do it. The winds are leading it from somewhere far away, a little far away. I can smell it, around a hundred meters away, it's eating grass right now." How can you know something like that from just smell? Hunters are incredible actually… He says he isn't that experienced at that. And he can do that kind of stuff already?

"That's some incredible sense, how can you do that?" Asking this kind of question may be pretty dumb actually but the answer could be pretty interesting. Is he maybe a talented hunter instead of just a hardworking one? He is a very weird man in a sense, he knows stuff not all people actually know. Just like Estel but on a different spectrum of being a human. Hunting, survival. Estel has more overall intellect and base knowledge about humanity and stuff like that. Someone of a poetical life actually.

"Well, when you get used to the smell of different animals when they are all around and you can see the difference between two smells colliding with each other. That is somewhat how you can learn that, well that's what I did to learn." That seems very weird to learn actually. Smell animal's shit and know which one is whose. A very weird way of teaching but it might actually be very good. Well, it's not easy to find a difference in the smell of shit. Fecals are just fecals. Nothing else to say, it's actually somewhat comedic.

"That's pretty wei…" I was cut mid sentence, the man looked around. I saw him making a fist in the air with his right arm indicating that I should be quiet. He went into an even slower crouch, I followed, we moved so slow that after a couple of steps both my legs and back started hurting. We slowly started approaching a weird bush, a little melted down. We stood right behind it in a crouching position, a weird air blown from behind it making the leaves do a somewhat malicious sound in the dark.

I looked behind it, a deer, a malicious deer. Large antlers, much larger than that of a normal deer, end in them also with fire coming out of the ends. A purple fire. The deer itself was white as snow, a weird sight. White fur, body, fire flashing from antlers. It looks somewhat… Sagelike, ancient.

"Oh god…" He quietly said to himself, I heard it since I was close to him but that deer certainly didn't. A sacred existence in this flawed world, it almost seemed like a godlike existence, but surely, God wouldn't be an animal. Even if primordial. "This is… The deer… This thing is here for several millennia, I've never seen anything like that. I know of them because my father told me they existed. But actually never seen one nor even thought about doing so." That sacred thing, a sacred animal. A thing that would probably destroy all of us on this mountain and even more. Kill the general himself. If it's influenced by the shrine… Then everyone is doomed, even the deal with that devil could not work.

"You two, what are you watching?" A woman's voice appeared in my mind, taking it over completely making me unresponsive. I was blankly looking at the deer scarily. Is that… Beast? Talking to me? "Beast? What beast? Do you see how beautiful I am?" Oh, well… It can read my mind.

"You… What are you?" I asked inside of my own mind, no words left my mouth, just a thought that the being surely heard. The being started emanating a weird light from within itself, now, looking kike a white sun.

"I am the guardian of this place. But since that shrine appeared I can't protect it on my own anymore…" The voice went into a very sad tone, unexpectedly, it has feelings, real feelings. An animal that feels everything just like I do or Marcus.

"Don't tell me… You are under its influence!" I screamed almost completely scared. Afraid that the thing promised to me by the devil may not actually happen. We may die no matter what if she is under the shrine…

"No, no. It's weak, it can't take me over." That doesn't make sense actually…

"If it's weak, why can't you win with him? Why won't you destroy the shrine yourself if it's that weak?" This question may have no respect, but truly, why is she not going to destroy it if it's weak?

"It may be weak, but the animals… All of the animals, bears, boars, tigers, the carnivore animals would win against me. Especially if there are so many and a lot of them are really strong. At least the man in the shrine isn't trying to kill me… Yet." A sacred deer, probably as old as humans themselves. Sitting on this mountain scared for its life.

"Why won't you leave this place then?" A question left Marcus's mouth not scared but surprised that I was the first one to ask questions and not him.

"My soul is bound to this place. If I leave this mountain, I will change into a regular deer and die because of how old I am." She has antlers… But isn't it a male deer?

"Wait… This may be a rude question, but… If you have antlers, aren't you a male deer?" I asked the omniscient being. Something in her eyes, not sure what appeared.

"This shows my power. In the world of deers, the larger the antlers and color of flames at its end, the stronger one is. And I am one of the strongest things in the world probably, never heard of anything or felt anything as strong as me." Loneliness then, she is lonely, no one to talk to probably. Well, not because of strength but most people would be just scary.

"Then… You really are doomed in this place. Kind of miserable as well…" My words left into the consciousness of the deer and Marcus, both heard it. She looked at us, me specifically, with a smile. Something like a smile appeared on her face.

"No human has ever told me something like that… You are a funny boy. Most people are scared to even say a word, and there you are, a person with no strength talking to me as if I was a normal human… What an irony." The words were… Nice. They resonated and echoed throughout my head. I heard it several times. "Fearless young kid…" She added.