66 Last string

My name is written on the page, his name written on the page of the imaginary paper. I looked at him one more time, the promise will be between me and the demon who in my eyes seems to be a god amongst existence. A man whose power rivaled that of the man behind the slaughter of that city. If they were both rivals, they had to be at the same power level at least.

"And so, our pledge is done. After some time, when my last spark will notice that you are capable of fighting him even in his recovered state. Then the last spark of mine will remind you of our pledge and what you have to do. To kill my nemesis though… You have much more time. He is getting stronger, I feel it from far away… His power is rising." How much power do I have to get to even fight those? I only have… The swords. The weapons, but I cannot decline that offer anymore. But… How can I fight those monsters? How can I attain enough power to actually fight them or at least have a chance in doing so…

"How can I try to fight those people? I mean, you and your nemesis… How can I fight?" I asked the man standing behind the page that was now burnt to ashes and disappeared. Wanted an answer to my question but my expectations were not met. He disappeared and so the last chance to learn something about our deal as well. I once again lost the chance to ask about more, about masters that could teach me, about people that could give me… More. I failed. And now? I have to wake up from this scene, from the obscure and disingenuous scene. But everything was real when I woke. A sign burn appeared on my hand, it didn't hurt but was there. A weird sign, no way to describe it, at least no other than… Weird.

My eyes slowly opened and I looked around. Burnt down fire, a wall of wood, a carcass of two animals. My friends lay on the ground, one shaking from cold. The breeze now touched my half naked body right where I sit, not lay, I went to sleep with a wall behind me. I left the land of dreams and stood up. The ominous sounds of woods went inside of our cave with now blown out fire. The wind blew in my ears and my long destroyed white hair. My lovely hair… The only remnants of my past life as now, there is nothing else. My skin destroyed so much, almost unrecognizable. My body frame? Poor, severed by lack of normal protein for the last two weeks. The carriage ride for a week, a week here, all of it. Changed me… Dirty skin…

I left the room, looked to the windy and immensely cold outside. A deep breath, a cloud of steam from my mouth. Then it also disappeared inside of the air.

"God…" I whispered to the dead tree. "Punish…" I whispered to the dead grass. "Us!!" I shouted to the dead air. "All of us! We don't deserve the paradise that you've built!" I screamed to the dead. They didn't wake up, they just slept. I didn't. The knife in my hand pointing at the veins inside my arm, the blood trailing inside the blue rivers with red blood. A discovery from a long time ago, a medical assessment completed by human doctors.

The pain of being alive, why are men alive? What did we do to deserve this blessing, the blessing of being alive. A gift we got from God and we aren't appreciating it. We are killing each other, race for race, a man for man, poor for reach… We don't appreciate it anymore. We don't appreciate our will to live and the opportunity we were given. Now… Let me slice my arm, from muscle to wrist. Die, just die… I don't want to live in this hell anymore. This is not the world, this is not something God has created. This is just hell created by Satan and his spawns residing in it.

And I myself, deserve death. I may not serve this lord, no more. I may not last and fulfill my pledge no more, I will not live a life that is not worth living. And so, my left arm slowly started pushing against the other's middle. About to slash through my blood vessels and just… Finish all of it. But I was stopped by an invisible force. An arm holding the knife.

"Don't." A voice answered. I don't know who it is, is it the second me? Is it someone I know? Is it somebody unfamiliar? An enemy, foe… Who… "It's not your time yet Hayden." Then I came back from that weird world where I only saw only the dark. The thing I have to avoid to survive. A void dark, the void that swallows it all, the void, dark enough to kill everyone standing here and all of existence on its own. But the dark was no more, it was Bog. Looking at me from my left, holding my hand. The dark hand. On my lighter one, brighter in the shine of the moon.

"The fun just begins." Another voice told me something in my mind, it was me, but not the second nor the third and not any other number. It was me. The real me, the one responsible for all of my doings and all of what is happening around me. I myself thought. That 'fun' is just about to start. Killing the sinful, the stained by dark, the destroyed by themselves. A painful journey for the faithful heart, the faith beginning now. The faith in restoring the greatness of humanity.

I looked at the big man at my left with sharp eyes and even on my own, I knew that they became soulless. I met my demise… I now understand what the demon told me. 'I am too far gone.' I indeed am too far gone, so far, that this place isn't there anymore. I am somewhere else, somewhere far away from here. All of those people, royals, nobles, demonic presence killing their own kind. They have to be purged… If we want to become one. If all men were to be reunited once again… It will have to be through my hands, through what I want. My goal… Remaking the world.

He looked at me with discontent and disbelief that led to the disgust of my own. The man who wanted to follow me, looking at me scared. But not to an extent that would change his mind, he just didn't see me the same as just before. He sees me as I am now, and that is how I see all. I see all as I see it now and not how I did before my demise, the flawed world. The flaws inside of this hell, the literal lack of god here. How much he actually created us… How he made us a whole. How people teach other people about beliefs. The god, we don't know if it even exists. The many gods from other faiths from other places that we also don't know exist. It's a pain of mine and the pain of people seeing all of this happening. Not doing anything, standing still. The royals that probably know the truth, the greatest truths, the kings as well. Just seeing those people dying for knowledge…

A flashback, a memory from the past once again appeared in my mind. Flora still alive, a light shining bright in my eyes instead of the dark woods around me. The moon shining down on the grass coated in the hoarfrost and the cold surrounding my entire body. Now a nice hot place, candle lighting up the surroundings with the golden glow. Logs of wood around, walls made of normal stone with some decorations. A window with snowflakes falling on the ground made of white bricks. Me sitting on Flora's thigh with a book in her hand, me trying to read and inevitably failed. A question then appeared in my mind.

"What is god?" Asked the five year old me with the book standing right before my eyes. How dumb a child can be.

"It's a person that created all of us! Everything! Where you look, where you stand, where you can be. It's all god's creation." She enthusiastically expressed what she said with a gesture of her hand. Trying to show all of creation, but she was just a mere human.

"Is he strong?" The young me questioned Flora, she looked at him with a big smile on her face knowing that kids ask those questions.

"Very strong." She answered, only before her death I learned that she didn't believe in god. Or she meant that she didn't believe that someone can attain godhood? What did she mean back then…

"Why is he so strong?" Again the young me asked, but the maiden's face went sour. She looked outside of the window, a blizzard appeared behind it.

Then the memory disappeared, with the question not being answered. I don't remember the answer anymore. I lost my memory back, just before her death. When I forgot everything about the woman that was my mother… And now I am crying… The cold tears.