Chapter 1: Should I get involved? (part1)

Second period of the day, nothing big happened so far, it's the second period of physics for my class. The words are too complicated, I spend the whole time thinking of parallel universes where I am the hero. I will probably regret this later but for now, my body feels numb, my eyes shut down every time I try to focus. I'm 100% sure it's not due to a lack of sleep; rather an immense boredom. Listening to this is not in my interest and neither the teacher speaking without any pause doesn't seem to want to share his passion and knowledge. I could clearly see that it became just a routine for him. I wonder if he is on auto-pilot and just repeating the exact same thing each year. However I will need to focus at one point. I still have no idea of what I will want to do with my life and my parents expect me to decide fast. I should listen to the teacher.

Now we have a break, 20 minutes of revising for the afternoon math's test. Our school does this one thing, one time per month we do a test in every subject that is the same for the same year group in the whole school. The school is quite big so comparing the children's between classes is said to be a good idea. The competition motivates them and it pushes them forward.

It reminds me how parents compare their childrens with each other or with kids outside their family. I wonder if their parents did the same thing and all of this is just an eternal cycle. Did adults forget how they felt as kids?

The problem here is not the competition in itself, seeing what you're capable of achieving can be a great source of inspiration. Rather it's the meaning and over-emphasis that people give to it. By comparing and criticizing everything, parents won't look at what their kids already accomplished and will only point at their mistakes. It will only make them the kind of kids who think that they need to succeed or they can die right now. I want to say that it's not a single test that makes you a failure for the rest of your life. However; in some cases, it is. The big test that will open the doors that you wish. The university, job, company. By asking constant perfection, I understand why some of us get crazy.

If you continue to push forward without taking the time to enjoy the simplest things of life like the sunset, we have a burnout and fall into laisure and sloth.

I always prefer to sit next to a window if I have a choice, looking outside is like a break from this morbid atmosphere. Watching the birds open their wings and do the big jump to finally fly high, as high as possible. I wonder if they ever look back to the places they have visited?

I see seven guys in the field. Even from this distance, I could recognize one of them with his unique tousled black hair going in all possible directions, to the point that we can raise the question if he has already even laid his eyes on a comb in his life, but that was nethertheless looking good. His hair glowing in the sun, and his thin, tall and muscular figure was the only thing I could see at this distance. He was well known by every kid in the school. Almost at the top on every subject, not a lot of people could compete side to side with him; girls were always speaking of him and his grandiose physique. The only downside is his personality, a bully, eager for always more. He liked to dislike people just because it was "fun". Enjoying doing horrible pranks on his classmates, playing with the feelings of the people around him and he was still being liked by the teachers because he was a "good" student. So how could he be so successful in everything ?! If someone said "It's internal beauty that matters" he could go eat bread for the rest of his life. In the eyes of a girl, being nice is predictable, boring. Don't need to be an ass but too caring is an absolute no. Either way, I am watching him and his friends, just walking in the field, not doing anything bad. I lost my focus, his behaviour seems more interesting than anything in my book.

I could just see, before they left behind a building masking them from my sight, a normal and quite small guy. He seemed completely "normal", nothing that stands out which is quite odd considering he was talking to this lively bunch, beside his black hair in a bowl cut, he was wearing glasses.

Third period, last of the morning before lunchtime. I spend the majority of my time lost in my slumber world again. We are doing english right now. The transition from japanese to english, especially if the teacher can't get your attention.

This teacher reminds me of a english teacher that I had two years ago. He didn't believe that he could teach a living language by a book. Of course it's great to learn the alphabet, words and tenses. But by him, nobody could remember these things after the test was done. So we would play games, make a newspaper from scratch with each person who had a personal space where they could write what they want, speak for the entire hour just in english, no exception; and the homework was to watch what series or movies we normally would but in english.

I say this because our actual teacher is the opposite. She is nice but her teaching techniques are outdated. We are revising from a book, doing mindless exercises that I will never look back in my book again after the end of the hour.

Lunchtime, finally the best moment of the entire morning. I had some pre-made sandwiches with ham. Nothing fancy but it had a correct taste nonetheless. After eating, I still need to use this time to revise for my maths. I was not too worried because I didn't expect much. We cannot say that I was aiming high, at this point, I am not even aiming, I am aimless! Being the passive hero in the tale that is my life.

I know that in stories, for the hero to show up, he needs a trigger element. Something that makes him step in line with others and do his best to be a better man. Well I never thought these kinds of things would happen in real life.

Yep, you guessed, the bully that I was telling you earlier, came in the class, causing a mess. Now that I could see him more clearly (and closer), he had thin traits, black eyes (nothing extraordinary at this point), long eyelashes and a pale white skin.Some girls may found it attractive, I found that he looks more like a vampire than a human being.

From what I understood he gave money to someone and this person didn't give him back. I don't know if it's a lie. Even if he is a bad person, what we can consider as the villain in 99.9% of the stories you can find. I know that he is a human too so he has shades of white. Who I am fooling? I chose to give up on humanity long ago. He is asshole.

He is or isn't isn't my problem. In both cases I don't have anything to do with him.

He was causing such a mess, starting to attract the attention of other students and people in the corridors, gathering in front of the windows and door blocking the pathway.

"The maths test starts in 5 minutes! Go back to your class! Why are so many people here? What's happening ?"

Finally a teacher, it was taking her some time, but I do not recognize this teacher's voice. Is she a substitute ? It didn't take me long to link the voice to the person. To my dismay, she was the one in front of the thick wooden door and she took a quick glance in the room, it didn't take long either to make her own assumptions.

She seemed so furious, like she was going to explode at any seconds. These two have an interesting and long history. They were both competing for the top place in the school. And when one was enjoying what money could buy,and how to abuse others. The other was helping them back directly after.

I can't act like a wimp in front of my crush but I don't wish to get involved either. Maybe she will forget my existence for now? And we could calmly speak this evening about my feelings?

Whatever the outcome, I was certain that sparks would fly.

No reasons for me to get involved. I will do nothing, finish the day and sleep happily. My life will continue to be a calm torrent of water; in balance!