The Most Unfortunate Teleportation

Safe teleportations are similar, but those unfortunate ones are unfortunate in their own way.

-Jensen Tolstoy White

Kubei felt as if something was not right.

He felt an extreme headache as he woke up in a state of confusion. It was if his brain was pierced by a needle as he could not think at all. He did not know what had happened and did not know where he was, but he felt very uncomfortable.

But he figured that he was not lying in the small bed he was used to sleeping in.

What was going on?

The four corners made him feel uneasy as the space was smaller than the room he rented. A streak of yellow light shone on his eyelids. There was a faint sound of water dripping behind his back, making him feel uneasy...

Low-pitched voices could also be heard.

"Looks like he died. Annie, your methods were too brutal!"

This was a female voice that had a blaming tone.

"It wasn’t on purpose. I didn’t know that his body was so weak? And, and, I didn’t do much at all."

The one called Annie sounded panicky as she spoke.

"That’s enough, we should think about what to tell Michelle."

"Michelle…...No! What should we do? Michelle will definitely kill us!"

"Don’t drag me into this, it’s all your fault, you’re the one who killed him, and this has nothing to do with me..."

The conversation continued on, the noise and the headache made Kubei’s head spin. But after a short while, he gradually got used to the pain, and regained his consciousness and ability to judge.

He opened his eyes with a struggle.

This was a small house, like those basements in a thriller film. It was pitch black, and the only source of light came from a torch on the wall. The moss had overtaken the corners of the wall and the ceiling, exuding considerable humidity and making it uncomfortable.

Kubei attempted to move around.

He immediately realized that he was tied to a chair, with his hands cuffed in thick hemp rope that was hurting his wrists.

He also realized that he felt extremely weak.

It was a weakness he had never felt before.

"What should we do…...Michelle…...Oh God, She, She’s here!"

The slow clanking of heels interrupted their conversation and Kubei’s weak struggle.

Under the dim light, a blurry figure appeared.

As the figure was dressed in a huge robe with a hood concealing her face, there was no way to see the face clearly. The viridian robe wrapped her tightly, not leaving a single patch of skin exposed. No one could tell if perhaps there was a mannequin inside instead of a human.

Kubei knew it was a woman, solely because of the sound of heels and her name "Michelle".

Even though he was still in a state of confusion, his instincts told him that now would be a good time to feign death.

And so, he relaxed his body and lied in the chair motionless hoping no one would notice him.

He closed his eyes tightly and contracted his ears, closely paying attention as the situation unfolded.

"Michelle, you’re here..."

Annie sounded like she was stuttering.

"Wake him up." A low and commanding voice came from within the robes.

"Michelle, I..."

Annie was hesitant to speak, as she was finding difficulty to piece a sentence, she was interrupted.

"It’s all Annie’s fault!" The other woman cried out, with a high pitched voice, making Kubei’s head go numb, "Michelle, it’s all Annie’s fault, she ended up killing him, it has nothing to do with me!"

There was an awkward silence.

"Michelle, I..." Annie tried explaining.

"He’s not dead." Michelle interrupted her once again.

Kubei could not help but draw his breath.

"What?"

"He’s not dead." Michelle seemed to be losing her patience, "Wake him up."

"Ah, Yes, Yes..."

Kubei had his eyes shut while he was seated suddenly a chill hit him, and he started shivering uncontrollably. The clothing he was wearing became wet all of a sudden, clinging tightly to his skin, making it really uncomfortable. Kubei wanted to puke.

The one called Annie poured cold water on him.

He knew he could not continue pretending so he opened his eyes.

"He’s not dead!"

As one of the girls exclaimed in shocked, Kubei finally fully regained his vision.

There were three people in the room. The other two were dressed the same as Michelle in viridian hooded robes and hiding their faces. Their outfit was as creepy as something in a horror film set.

The three hooded figures surrounded Kubei like they were about to perform an evil sacrificial ritual.

Kubei felt a chill on his spine.

"The two of you can go rest," Michelle said.

The two nodded and left, probably going to start an argument about what happened just now.

Kubei felt Michelle’s heavy gaze return to him, like a venomous snake staring at its prey. He felt extremely uncomfortable. But in a situation like this, there was nothing that could be done. He just looked down and pretended he did not see anything at all.

Michelle did not speak either, and this went on for awhile.

The short period of time felt really long.

Finally, Michelle started speaking.

"What’s the secret to opening the treasury?"

Kubei lifted his head, "I don’t know."

"Sir Lithur." Michelle did not feel surprised at all from what she heard, "Resistance is futile. You can return to your kingdom and be a noble genius, or you can rot in the belly of mice. The choice is yours, and I hope you make the right one."

"I’m not Sir Lithur. You’ve got the wrong person."

"Sir Lithur, my patience is limited." Michelle spoke politely, but her words were intimidating.

"Otherwise, you weren’t satisfied with the treatment just now, should I bring Annie over again?"

"....."

Kubei felt like crying but could not. "Lady, I really don’t know anything!"

After regaining consciousness for so long, he could understand what was going on.

Before this, it was midnight, he was on a table, preparing a script for his boss’ speech for the following day.

That time he had already worked overtime for nearly half a month, he was tired mentally and physically. Due to the exhaustion, he fell asleep in front of the computer. In his dream, Kubei saw a man in his forties with a pair of briefs on his head, pointing at his nose, shouting, "Balala energy, transform!"

Then there was a buzzing noise in his head.

After that, all he could remember was waking up here.

He was not ruling out the fact that these bunch of women were crazy for kidnapping him to this place and treating him as some Sir Lithur. He also suspected that the nightmare was so terrifying it damaged his mental health and caused him to hallucinate.

But...

From the moment he opened his mouth, he realized that he was no longer speaking Mandarin, but some language that sounded like English.

He realized he had not spoken English in years.

Kubei was not a fool. He was just an ordinary person, living a normal live, but as one with wild dreams - he had read countless novels online. When he noticed that everything did not seem right, he quickly used his knowledge from the novels to draw a conclusion:

He had teleported.

Because of some unknown reason, he had been teleported into someone called Sir Lithur’s body, switching bodies with Sir Lithur. How coincidental that this Sir Lithur was not quite lucky for he was kidnapped by a bunch of mentally unstable women, even to the point where he was tortured in a formidable way.

Now, it was his turn to be tortured.

Kubei drew his breath, as if he was mourning for the time he lost half of his month’s salary because of a skiing accident that tore his anus, making him unable to go to work.

He must be the unluckiest teleporter, ever.

"To the Lithur family, that treasury is only like a grain of rice in a huge stockpile of wheat. The treasures within are what your family would have in thousands more in amount, why would you lose your precious life over this thing?"

Michelle probably thought that Kubei was ready to give up, and was ready to comply with her demands.

Kubei raised his head, facing the darkness in the hood, uttering clearly:

"I. Do. Not. Know!"

In that moment, he believed, that his eyes were as fawningly sincere as that of a young deer.

But Michelle wouldn’t believe him.

"I’m very sorry, Sir Lithur. You’ve made the wrong decision." Michelle’s voice was cold from the beginning till the end of her speech, but this time he could hear a murderous intent, "I think, you’re probably missing Annie."

Kubei shuddered.

He did not know what these few mad women had done to the real Sir Lithur, and he had no intention of knowing. Why? Because the real Sir Lithur had been beaten to death!

The truth was right before his eyes. He did not doubt their cruel methods at all.

Right when Michelle turned around, Kubei called her:

"I…...I cannot tell you yet."

Kubei did not have a choice. Even if this was a bad trick he had to continue playing it.

Whether it was teleportation or not, he did not want to die.

"Why?"

Michelle did not turn around, but paused her footsteps with her back facing Kubei as she coldly spoke.

"If you don’t keep your promise, even if I told you, you wouldn’t let me go." Kubei tried hard to remember the scenes of the web novels he had read, boldly pretending and calmly saying, "I can tell you the way to open the treasury, but you have to guarantee my safety."

A slight chuckle came from within the hood.

As the atmosphere became less tensed, Kubei managed to catch a breath.

"You’re smart." Michelle turned around, "I never intended to let you go. To prevent being hunted by the Lithur family. After I get what I want, I would kill you immediately, dice you up, and feed you to the sewer rats, not leaving a single trace.

Kubei wished he could take back what he said.

"...I’m not going to tell you then."

"If you don’t talk, we’ll torture you, till you break." The way she said it sounded psychotic, "You can choose to die without pain, which is much better than the other option."

"..."

"I must be seriously unlucky," Kubei thought to himself.

Kubei could only think of returning the real Sir Lithur’s soul to his body right now, and choke him by the neck, so that he could leave this strange world.

'Damn, I am only a bystander!,' Kubei thought.

"Foolish."

Seeing that he had no intention to speak, Michelle shook her head, getting ready to find the other person.

Under the dire situation, Kubei suddenly came up with an idea.

"Wait!"

Michelle seemed as if she did not hear Kubei as her footsteps did not seem to slow down.

Kubei could only scream at the top of his lungs:

"The Lithur family’s treasury, only those with the Lithur family blood can open it. If you kill me, you’ll never get to open it!"

Michelle finally stopped her footsteps, and turned and clanked her heels over.

Kubei was finally relieved.

Kubei came up with a generic plot that would be often used in novels and this could somehow end up being the only way to saving his life.

After some silence, Michelle said:

"You’re not of the Lithur family bloodline."

"What?!"

Kubei was caught off guard, and his already-bound hands froze.

"You’re only a distant relative to the Lithur Family." Michelle’s tone had some disdain in it, "Your aunt married a Lithur, you only followed her and managed to acquire the Lithur surname. You don’t have a single drop of Lithur blood in you, your so called using your bloodline to open the seal to the treasury, even you couldn’t do it."

"..."

This "Sir Lithur" was actually just a small fry in such a huge family?

The headache worsened.

Kubei was left in despair. It felt like he had just carried a stone and to smash his own feet, then digging a pit and jumping into it himself.

He would have other ways of saving himself, but he ended up killing off his own chances with the generic plot.

What can be done now?

He was only teleported for almost half an hour. Do not tell him he would meet the end of his life so soon.

Michelle laughed, and said, "You actually thought, before we kidnapped you, I wouldn’t do any research..."

"Your investigations are meaningless!" Suddenly, Kubei was like a different person, sharply interrupting her, "I am part of the Lithur family, I have the purest blood in the family. You are making up this story to test me, what are you even suspicious of?"

"You..."

Kubei forcefully said, "If you’re afraid that I’m just buying time, it means you’re probably just bluffing. Aren’t you nervous about kidnapping a noble? The people sent by my family should arrive any moment, if you drag on, you’ll pay with your life."

Michelle was left speechless, once again it was as if the person in the robes was a mannequin.

Kubei let out a few laughs.

'I have gambled correctly.' He thought.

If he was a distant relative, why would he even know of the family treasury? If he was a insignificant relative, why would Michelle kidnap him in the first place?

Kubei thought carefully and his instinct saw through her deception.

Michelle probably noticed that he was acting suspiciously, thus, creating some false information to test him. If he took the bait, he would probably be a dead man now. She would find out that he was not the real Sir Lithur, and he was worthless to her.

But luckily, Kubei was calm enough to see through the lie Michelle had so slyly spun for him.

The person that he had teleported into, was of legitimate Lithur family blood!

His manipulation trick turned out perfectly, stunning the mysterious woman.

"Lady Michelle, if you really want to open the treasury, I think you should hurry." Kubei used this opportunity to make fun of the opposition, "The people from the Lithur family shouldn’t be meddled with."

Silence ensued, a great long silence.

"...You win."

Kubei narrowed his eyebrows playfully.

Michelle’s words were as if they were coming out from the gaps between clenched teeth: "I’ll bring you to the treasury, you open the door for me, we’ll keep a distance from you when you’re opening the treasury. Once the door is open, we’ll leave you to your own devices, you can escape if you want to."

After hearing this, Kubei could not help but smile and say:

"Deal!"

Phew...

The stone that was crushing his heart has finally been lifted, Kubei could see the thread of hope once more.

While he rejoiced upon surviving the torture, he felt that he really was the unluckiest teleporter.

Other people would save their own lives with a certain set cheat codes, all he could rely on was him own mischievous tricks.

But, it was not time to be relaxed yet.

Now that he managed to lie his way through, thus he had to continue lying to survive. This mad woman intended to take him to the treasury, so he had to find a way to escape, or else they would eventually find out about his lie and he would have to face death

The game had just begun.

Kubei reapplied his attention onto Michelle.

As if to show dissatisfaction, Michelle walked away, but the clanking of her heels were louder than before. As she faced the dark corridor, she shouted for her followers:

"Sally, Annie, it’s time to go!"

She was probably planning to take Kubei and her followers away from this place, to head to the treasury.

But...

The corridor was silent. There was no reply.

Eh?

It seemed like something had happened. Kubei tried to hide his joy.

"Sally? Annie?"

Michelle raised her voice, her calm voice seemed to start cracking.

Finally, a voice returned,

"Michelle, something’s happened!"

Despite the alarming reply, Michelle seemed unmoved by it.

One of the hooded figures came out from the shadows quickly.

"The Lithur family troops are about to arrive! Michelle, this is terrible!"

Kubei immediately became overjoyed upon hearing this, but quickly felt anxious.

How was he going to face the Lithurs whom he had never met before?

On the other hand, if they were to come, Kubei did not think Michelle would let him live either.

Headache.

Michelle calmly asked: "Annie, where did Sally go?

"I, I don’t know..."

"Annie, tell me, where did Sally go?"

Annie started stuttering again, as she was in a state a panic:

"Sally disappeared…...I, I’m not that sure. She said she was going to check the surroundings, then she disappeared. I…...I think she probably spotted the people from the Lithur family, and ran away on her own! Or…...she’s probably been captured by them!"

Michelle remained silent.

Annie stood in front of her, but the hooded robes were unable to hide her panic,

"Michelle, we need to go, if we continue delaying we’ll be captured!"

But Michelle still remained silent.

Silent to the point where Annie felt awkward. She looked as if she was telling a joke, a joke so bad that no one would respond to. One minute, two minutes went away, the whole atmosphere was ice cold, and she could not hold her expression any longer.

Kubei broke the awkward silence.

He dragged his voice, with a sarcastic sort of surprise that was taunting.

"Annie, did you kill Sally?"