1 Prologue: Why?

I thought because I could level up I was something special. I thought I would be the protagonist of this world. I tried my damndest to be strong. To be the smartest, to be the hero, To be special. Only now am I realizing I'm not. Only now do I realize I'm weak. I thought I changed, I thought I had the power to protect them....but I couldn't. I couldn't even save the ones I loved the most.

What's the point? Why even try anymore? My family's gone, my fiancé is gone, my dog is gone. My home is gone.

Everything hurts. My head won't stop spinning, breathing chokes my lungs. My eyes burn with every blink. My body feels heavy, My heart aches in a pain I cannot comprehend.

I can't move. No...I don't want to move. I don't care anymore. I don't want to move. I don't to try anymore. I don't want to think anymore. I don't want to breathe anymore. I don't want to live anymore.

"Mom" tears began to fall again with a single word. Every tear that falls blinds me. Every tear Ignites a burning sensation. "Mom! Dad! I can't do this!" Every shout burns. Every word threatened to choke me. Finally my voice breaks, nothing but a soft whisper comes out.

"I'm sorry...I couldn't save you....I couldn't save any of them.

I lay there for what felt like an eternity. As I finally got the strength to move, my body was moving without conscious thought. Even if I was a high level compared to others it offered no comfort.

To my left was a small pack, it's my pack. I knew what was in it. 40mm rope. It didn't even occur to me what I was doing. Before I knew it I had my neck in a noose. All emotion was gone. All feeling was gone. I wanted to go, to disappear. I wanted to see my family again.

After I fell. The noose tightened. But it was t as tight as I thought it would be. Then the burning came, then the lightheadedness.

Then...Nothing.