Chapter 2

Six Hours Earlier

The sound of the alarm clock kept on ringing repeatedly, seriously disturbing my sleep.

'Get up, love. It's ten already. We have to be at the airport in an hour. Our Taiwan vacation awaits. Wake up, sleepy head!' Tusell stood at the bedroom door, sporting a wide grin.

I opened my eyes slowly, reluctantly. It's the middle of the night for me, for God's sake. What an unreasonable idea to fly at this time, I thought. Since I'd left work a few weeks ago, the time of day stopped making any sense. I would go to sleep too late, wake up too late, and the worst of it was that I didn't have to do anything. I could do what I wanted. I had spent too much time in several hospitals being an intern, and when I had finally gotten my dream position as a Residual Certified Nurse, I quit. I just lost the passion for my work. I never thought that at the age of twenty-seven I'd feel burned-out, but those were the facts.

Working at the hospitals had been satisfying and fulfilling, and it was good for my ego. Every time I negotiated a big contract, I felt the thrill of excitement, and when those negotiations involved competing with more experienced people, I was excited. Especially when I won. Each little victory in my financial battles had given me the feeling of superiority.

It might sound stupid, but as a girl from a small Asian town who had even graduated from the university, proving my value to everyone around me was a priority.

'Maria! You want cocoa or tea with milk?'

'Tusell, please! It's still the middle of the night!' I rolled over on the bed and covered my head with a pillow.

Bright light illuminated the bedroom. Tusell never liked darkness, so even our bedroom windows lacked any kind of blinds. He used to say that darkness caused depression. Well, for him falling into depression was easier than getting a coffee at Go Slo. The windows were all on the Western wall, so in the morning the sun made it pretty much impossible for me to sleep late.

'I made both cocoa and tea.' With a smug expression, Tusell remained standing in the doorway, holding a cup in each hand. 'It's really hot outside. I bet you want the cold one,' he said, and passed me the cocoa. Then he began pulling the sheets from the bed.

By that time I was getting pissed at him, but I crawled out of my cave. I knew he wouldn't give up. Tusell flashed his teeth in a wide grin. That was so much like him, every morning he had too much energy. He was a heavily built, man with a bald head perched on top of a long neck. People called him a fine bald head. Aside from the physical features, he had nothing in common with that kind of man. He was the best human being i have ever met. He had his own company, and each time he made a big hit, he would transfer a large sum to a children's hospital. He liked to say: 'I need to share God's blessing with others.'

Tusell had blue eyes. They were gentle and full of kindness. His nose was straight and pointed. What I loved about him the most was his full lips and his genuine smile that always caught me off guard every time I was mad at him.

His enormous arms were covered with tattoos. His entire body was, in fact, aside from his legs. He was a strong man, weighing a good deal more than two hundred pounds. I always felt safe with him, though I have to admit that at five feet five and 110 pounds, I might have looked a bit mismatched with him. My mum had always told me that sport is good, so I trained in whatever I had interest in at any given time, from Tail walking to Karate. I never stayed to any sport for long, though. What it ultimately boiled down to was that my body was extremely fit, my tummy was hard as rock and perfectly flat, my legs were slim and muscled, and my buttocks curvy. I sure did a lot of squats to achieve that effect.

'All right, I'm getting up,' I mumbled, then drank the delicious now-cold cocoa in one great gulp.

I put the cup down and went into the bathroom. As I stopped by the mirror I realised just how much I needed this vacation. My dark eyes were sad and resigned, and the lack of anything to do had made me apathetic. My chestnut hair flowed around my lean face and fell to my shoulders. That it reached this length was a success – usually I wore my hair a lot shorter. In normal circumstances, I would have thought myself pretty hot, but I didn't right then. I was overwhelmed with the burden of my own failings and my aversion to work. I had no idea what to do with myself. My professional life had always determined my self-esteem. Without a calling card and a work phone in my purse, I didn't feel too confident.

I brushed my teeth, put some pins in my hair, applied some liner and that was it. I didn't have it in me to do much else. Besides, it would be enough. A while ago I had splurged on permanent brow, eye, and lip makeup out of sheer laziness. It allowed me to have more sleep and limit the morning bathroom routine to the bare minimum.

I went to the closet to get the clothes I had prepared for today. One thing always remained the same for me, irrespective of my moods and all the things I had no power to change. I had to be dressed as perfectly as possible. Wearing the right clothing made me feel better. Obviously, it made me look better, too.

My mother always said that a woman should be beautiful even if she is hurting. And if my face couldn't be as attractive as it was on a good day, I had to take everyone's attention off it. So for the trip I selected light denim shorts, a loose white shirt, and despite the heat outside, a white and blue dotted cotton cardigan. Planes were too cold for me, and even if it meant I'd boil outside first, at least I'd feel comfortable on board. Well, as far as I could, anyway – I was terrified of flying. I slipped my feet into my Dior wedge white sneakers and I was ready.

I went to the living room, which was connected to the kitchen annex. The apartment had modern decor – cold and minimalist. The walls were covered with black glass, the bar was illuminated with LED lights, and instead of a table like you'd have in a normal home there was a small counter with two leather-covered stools. An enormous grey corner sofa sitting in the middle of the room was a testament to its owner's size. The bedroom was divided from the living room by a great aquarium. It was clear that a woman hadn't designed this apartment. It was the perfect fit for a committed single, which the lord and commander of this particular apartment had been until recently.

Tusell was sitting with his nose in his laptop as usual. It didn't matter what he was doing at any given time, working, on a call, or watching a movie. He always kept his laptop close by. It was his best friend and an impressed part of who the man was. I hated it with passion, but it had always been like that, so I really had no right to change it. Even though I had appeared in his life more than a year ago owing to that little device, it would be hypocrisy if I suddenly wanted it out of his life.

I remember it had been June and I hadn't been in a relationship with anyone for more than six months. I was growing bored, or maybe lonely, so I decided to set up a profile on a dating site. It turned out to be fun, not to mention that it ended up boosting my already high self-esteem. During one of those sleepless nights, browsing through hundreds of men, I finally stumbled on Tusell. He was looking for a loyal woman to fill his world all at once. Anyway, we clicked and a petite girl tamed the tattooed monster. Our relationship wasn't a side affair. We were both strong, dominant types and were prone to explosive outbursts. We were also both intelligent and had significant knowledge of our respective professions. It pulled us both to each other, intriguing and impressing us. The only thing our relationship was lacking was the magnetism, the unbridled attraction and passion that had simply never been there. As Tusell had once said, he had already had his share of fucking. I, on the other hand, was a volcano of sexual energy threatening to explode at any time. I had to search for release by masturbating on a daily basis. But still, I felt good at Tusell's side. Safe and calm. It was more important than sex. Or at least that's what I thought.

'I'm ready, love. I just have to zip up my travel bag, which is not going to be easy, and we can go.'

With a laugh, Tusell pushed himself up, dropped the laptop into its bag, and headed toward my luggage.

'I think I'll manage, baby doll,' he said, squeezing my big suitcase. 'It's the same thing all over again, eh? Excess baggage, eighty pairs of shoes and half the closet flying with us while you're not going to wear more than, five percent of all that.'

I frowned and crossed my arms.

'At least I'll have choices!' I retorted, putting on my sunglasses.

I always felt apprehensive and anxious in airports, afraid even. I had claustrophobia and hated flying. Besides, I had inherited my mother's pessimism. It was always doom and gloom for me, so I tended to overthink things that at least might end up in some kind of trauma. So a flying can with a pair of engines strapped to the sides wasn't something I'd likely trust without a benefit of a doubt.

We were traveling with Tusell's friends, who were already waiting for us in the brightly lit departures hall. Marilyneer and Tristan had been together for years and had chosen our destination. They were thinking of getting married, but at least for now, thinking about it was enough. He was a typical womaniser. With short black hair, and blue eyes he was also pretty good-looking. All he was ever interested in was boobs, though. He didn't even try denying that. She, on the other hand, was a tall, long-legged black lady with a girlish face. Nothing special at first glance, but when you came to know her, she became remarkably interesting. Marilyneer all but ignored Tristan's bothersome inclinations. I wasn't sure how she managed it. With my possessiveness, I wouldn't be able to stay with a man whose head turned every time he glimpsed another woman. I swallowed two anti-anxiety pills to be sure I wouldn't have a full-blown panic attack on the plane.

We were supposed to have a stopover in Cappadocia. An hour's break and then another hour flying straight to Taiwan. Last time I had been to Taiwan I was fourteen, and since then I didn't have a high opinion of Taiwans. They were noisy, intrusive, and didn't know a word of English. And English was like a native tongue to me. After all those years spent in various hospitals, there were times I even taught children in English.

When we finally landed in Persia, the sun was already setting. The guy at the car rental office took his damn time handling customers. We got stuck in the queue for an hour. Tusell was hungry and edgy, and his foul mood was rubbing off on me, so I decided to take a look around the place. There wasn't much to see, truth be told. I exited the air-conditioned building and felt the overwhelming heat. In the distance, I saw the smoking summit of the mountain. It was a bit disturbing, really, though I had known the volcano was still active. Walking with my head in the clouds, I didn't notice the end of the pavement, and before I gathered my wits, an enormous Taiwan popped out of nowhere and I nearly walked into him. I stopped, it looked like he was escorting some cars. I didn't wait for them to pass, instead turning on my heel and walking back to the car rental office, praying for the car to finally be ready. When I was close, three black SUVs drove by. The middle one seemed to slow down a bit for an instant, but I couldn't see anything through the darkened windows. 'Maria!' I heard Tusell call out, the keys to our car clasped in his hand. 'Where the hell are you going? We're off!'.