15-16

"Nothing quite like a good ole' protein breakfast with a side of more protein." Thad pounded his chest, letting out a small burp. "Yeah. Eggs and bacon are delicious."

Jasmine sat across from Thad in the small diner, looking at her half-eaten lettuce wrap with Sitrus berries. Chad sat beside Thad, gobbling down a junior size meal of poffins and bacon strips. The two nudged each other and laughed as they gobbled down their respective breakfasts.

"Hey, Jazz," Thad gulped down a half glass of his protein shake and wiped his lips, "I gotta ask. Where do y'all get bacon? Do you have normal animals at all? I've been meaning to ask."

"Non-Pokemon Fauna?"

"Yeah, sure," Thad replied, readying his fork for another load of bacon. "So, do ya?"

"They're quite rare, but they do exist in certain parts of the world," Jasmine said. "But I believe this is Embroar bacon. Hence the spice and kick."

Thad nodded in approval. "Yeah, I was gonna say. This shit slaps."

Jasmine narrowed her eyes at the jock but refrained from commenting. She'd slowly learned to not question the odd phrases that leapt from his mouth, as often he would have more confusing answers. Thad was an enigma wrapped in a suitable amount of protein.

"Anyway, do you have a plan for Bugsy's gym?" Jasmine asked, leaning forward a bit. "Would you like some advice?"

"Oh I've got a plan," Thad chuckled, waggling a finger toward the roof. "We gonna get in there and slap hard and slap fast. Me and the boys are going to throw hands against whatever beetles and bugs they gots."

"And Trouble?" Jasmine inquired, letting her hand settle on the glass rim of her berry juice. "Do you have faith in using her in a battle? With full control?"

Thad stuck his hand out, holding it laterally and wobbling it a bit. "Eh, that stinker still needs to learn the value of sportsmanship. I've been trying to remember my Vince Lombardi speeches from back in the day."

"Ahuh," Jasmine mused, taking a sip from her drink. "And what of your new addition? Have you talked with your Quagsire, Keto yet, or introduced them?"

Chad put down a piece of bacon and looked up to his trainer. "Chop?"

"A new dude to the crew," Thad laughed, patting his companion on the back. "They're super chill. Maybe too chill…but! They're going to help Team Beefcake. They like protein, and that's a start."

"Right," Jasmine drawled. She pursed her lips and briefly looked for the waiter. "So Thad, review time," he straightened up immediately in his seat, "what are Bug-types weak to?"

Thad snapped his fingers and winked. "Fire, baby."

"And?" Jasmine rolled her hand, gesturing for him to continue.

"And, uh… birds?" Thad scratched the back of his head. "Yeah, I don't know this Pokemon type stuff all that well."

"Well, you understand the obvious weaknesses, but you don't have Flying-types or Fire-types at your disposal, but you do have a Pokemon that Bug-types are weak to."

"Ah, sweet!" Thad hollered, drawing a few glances from nearby tables. He high-fived Chad and ate another piece of bacon. "Bugs are weak to muscles! Perfect!"

"No," Jasmine quickly replied, shaking her head. "Try again."

"Uh, the slimy dude I caught?"

"Wrong again."

Thad scrunched his face into a thinking pose, rubbing his chin. "...whatever the heck Trouble is?"

"Sneasel is a Dark and Ice-type, but also not."

"This is harder than I thought," Thad mumbled, still stroking his chiseled jawline. He looked up and gave Jasmine a sheepish smile. "Is it Dwayne?"

"Yes," Jasmine replied, returning a warm and pleasant smile. "He's a Rock-type, and Bugs are vulnerable to that typing. Furthermore, Bug-types are resistant and weak against Fighting-types. So, while Chad won't deal much damage to Bugsy's choice of Pokemon, he's a rather safe switch in due to his natural resistances."

"Damn this is cool. It's like chess, ping pong, karate, and Battleship™ all wrapped up in one game," Thad gushed. He gobbled up his last piece of bacon and washed it down with the remainder of his protein drink. "Alright, let's go play exterminator."

"What?"

Thad blinked. "Ya know, like the people who get bugs from places? Cause we gonna dominate?" He looked to Chad for support. "Was I way off?"

Chad shrugged, holding a piece of bacon in each hand. "Chop?"

"Sorry, I'm just," Jasmine groaned and clenched her jaw, "just a bit on edge still with the whole Bugsy situation. Sorry, my mind is just not all there today."

"Ha, that's me every day!" Thad replied. Jasmine covered her mouth, hiding a smile, and Thad gave her a knowing look. He offered a hand and helped her out of her seat. "C'mon," he said in a comforting tone, "let's pay the bill and then show Azalea town there's a new power player around." He leaned down to Jasmine and whispered in her ear, "Uh, that's me if I wasn't clear."

"I know, you goof," Jasmine playfully shoved Thad away, grinning at the man. "I'm worried, but that doesn't mean I'm not lucid."

"Right, right," Thad nodded, following Jasmine on the way out. He passed by the waiter and quickly exchanged the Pokedollars, along with a reasonable twenty percent tip.

With Thad leading the way, the group strode through the doors and strutted down the main drag toward the gym. In the spirit of preparing for battle, Thad donned his headband and got Chad set up with his own.

It was time for a Pokemon battle.

The double doors to the Azalea town gym flew open, swinging wildly on the hinges. Thad, already having stripped off his shirt to let his chiseled body breathe, placed his hands on his hips and took in a large whiff of the fragrant air.

The dome-shaped gym was covered in a smattering of webbing and brambles. Little bug Pokemon from Spinarak and Weedle could be seen scrambling up the walls. On the platform beyond the small open lobby, Thad squinted his eyes to see the various spider-shaped platforms moving along thin bars that mimicked the appearance of silk threads. Even a few bug catchers seemed to be posted up on a few of the floating island platforms, mulling about on the PokeNavs or conversing with their beloved Bug-types.

"A challenger!" A curious and excited voice boomed. A middle-aged man to Thad's left scrambled out from behind a desk covered in succulents, brushing off his hands on his black dress pants. "You're here quite early in the morning, I do say! Thankfully, Gym Leader Bugsy is-"

"Bring me to your leader," Thad said, his face stony and tone leaving no room for argument. He loomed over the slightly pudgy referee with the grandeur of an Olympic god before a mortal. "I've got business to do, my man."

The doors creaked again, and Jasmine along with Chad burst through the threshold. Jasmine's face was beat red as she hunched over, resting her hands on her knees. Chad rubbed her back and smiled at the taxed Steel-type specialist.

"Did you... have to sprint here?" Jasmine coughed out. "Wow, I don't think I've ran that fast in a while."

"Of course!" Thad walked over and rested his hand on Jasmine's shoulder, shaking his head like a teacher to a misunderstood student. "I didn't wake up at five in the morning to let my pilates, deep meditative breathing, and ladder drills go to waste! Gotta get that pump on, Jazzy!"

"Wait, ladder drills?"

"Yeah, you know the one by the well?" Thad thumbed toward the direction of the Slowpoke Well. "It's a long-ass ladder and great climbing practice without using your legs." He let out a dreamy sigh. "Reminds me of when I was just a kid watching Ninja Warrior, wishing I could try out. But, here we are. Using ladders with Pokemon, crazy right?"

"Uhhh, Sir?" the gym referee tentatively piped up, immediately drawing Thad's attention. He cleared his throat and put on his bravest voice. "Sir, are you here for the gym challenge?"

Thad snapped his fingers and smirked. "Right. I almost got off track. Thanks for that, brother. Yeah, I'm totally here for that. Bring me to your leader."

"Well, about that," the attendant nervously rubbed the back of his head, "usually our contestants go through the gym maze first…"

"Bro," Thad gave the referee a knowing look, "look at me. I'm here with a gym leader as my Pokemon guru and I've already burned more calories than most people do in a week. I ain't here for no weak sauce battles. Me and my crew are ready to slap."

The attendant looked to Jasmine for support, but the gym leader merely shrugged. "He's just really excited. Would you be so kind and lead us to Bugsy?"

"Right away, miss." The referee bowed and hustled forward toward the first platform. He began to work the simple lever system on the spider platform. "I'll get you to Bugsy, just follow me along. I'm using my admin path."

Thad bumped his fist with Chad's and winked at Jasmine as they followed the frazzled referee. Jasmine's cheeks flushed a slight shade of pink as she brushed past Thad and his trusty companion. He patted the man on the back, managing to get a small jump from him. Thad placed his hands on his hips and chuckled, letting the man insert a small silver key into the control console and then input a sequence of numbers. The platform jerked for a moment, then began to hum and move across the stitchwork network of the web toward the squared-off battlefield at the end of the gym.

"So, do you want to go over your plan one last time?" Jasmine whispered, standing on her tippy toes to lean up toward Thad's ear. "I know you're confident, but do you want to quickly go over type advantages or—"

"I've got a plan, plus," Thad grinned and raised a finger, "I've got an extra saucy wager for Bugsy."

Jasmine's expression faltered and her lips became a thin line. "You aren't going to—"

"I risk it for the biscuit, Jazzy. You know how I be." Thad thumped a fist against his pec. "Don't your pretty little head."

"Oh, I think I will," Jasmine huffed, crossing her arms.

"Macho!" Chad shouted, causing the referee to jump a bit at the Pokemon's cheer. "Ma ma!"

"See, Jazzy? He gets it. Helped me think of it during ladder practice. Crafty little dude," Thad fist-bumped Chad; the two exchanging a goofy grin much to Jasmine's chagrin.

"Very well," Jasmine relented. She lowered her voice and turned away. "Not like I could dissuade you, anyway."

A clunky sound rang out from the platform as it switched to another track, circumventing several of the floral trainer islands crawling with bugs. It slowed to a stop as it reached their destination: a grand oak tree that loomed in the background of a traditional square and slightly grassy battlefield.

The team quickly spotted Bugsy leaning against the large tree, chatting with a large pinecone and some kind of larva that Thad didn't recognize. It had eyes, so he assumed it was some kind of Bug-type Pokemon. A pretty safe bet inside the Bug-type gym.

"Here we are," the referee's shaky voice announced. He gestured for the crew to depart, and hastily bowed once more. "I wish you luck in the gym challenge."

"Thank you very much," Jasmine nodded and hopped off the platform.

Thad gave a salute and crouched down, and then in a quick burst of power, he leapt forward into a frontflip. He landed on the ground in a superhero pose with one fist on the ground; splitting the earth slightly from his impact. He looked up with a confident smile, locking eyes with Bugsy who had taken notice of the dramatic entrance.

"Be back in a hot sec," Thad said, breaking into a jog.

He met Bugsy in the center of the arena, staring down the teenager who was roughly half his size. He loomed over him like a colossus, but the green-haired trainer didn't budge despite wincing as Thad's form blotted out the overhead lights.

"Alright little man, we've got some beef to settle," Thad firmly stated. "You. Me. Pokemon battle for that bling, you know?"

Bugsy frowned and squinted at the jock, trying to decipher his strange lingo. "Uh, sure? You're here for the gym battle, correct?"

"Yup, but let's make it extra spicy?" Thad lowered his form down to a squat where he met the gym leader eye to eye. He cast a glance over his shoulder toward Jasmine and lowered his voice. "Let's up the stakes beyond some extra cash and a badge."

"What did you have in mind? Nothing...unethical, I presume?" Bugsy said slowly, choosing his words carefully. His eyes wandered from Thad's penitent stare, looking toward the referee.

"Fo' show, my dude," Thad heartily replied. "Just figured that if I win, you keep the whole deforestation biz outta the news. Say it was a Pokemon accident. Since that's what it was, right? Just keep Jasmine's name outta it."

"Alright," Bugsy rubbed his chin, "but what would I get in return?"

Thad shrugged. "Then I'll help you replant all the trees and whatnot, free of charge." he stuck his hand out and raised an eyebrow. "Do we have a deal?"

Bugsy looked at the mammoth calloused hand, up to Thad's confident smile, and then back at the hand. He shook it with surprising firmness. "Deal. Labor would be quite expensive and having someone like you would speed things up tremendously. I can agree to anonymity for Jasmine since it's technically the truth. I'll offer you a fair battle depending on the number of badges you have."

"Sweetness my dude," Thad said, standing back to his full height. "I've got two badges so far, so let's get this show on the road, eh?"

"Uh, sure," Bugsy said, giving the jock a quizzical look. He pointed across the field. "You can get that side. Once the referee, Thomas, explains the rules, we'll begin."

Thad nodded and trotted towards the spot Bugsy mentioned. Chad and Jasmine raced over, though Jasmine's legs wobbled a bit as she tried to keep up with the spunky Machop.

"So?" Jasmine's breath was ragged and drained. "What did you agree to?"

"I told you not to worry, right?" Thad gave Chad a quick glance, and Machop dropped Jasmine's travel pack at the edge of the arena and began doing warm-up push-ups. "We about to knock this one outta the park with my strats. I've designed a game plan that will make you think I'm an Ice-type dude with how frosty I am on the sidelines."

Jasmine blinked. "Did you just—"

"Mixing up my lingo?" Thad interjected. "Hell yeah. Gotta adapt with the times, now," He gave Chad a thumbs up, "my boy Chad is first up."

"But Thad!" Jasmine bit her lower lip and cast a quick look toward Bugsy, who was talking with the referee. "I told you at the diner he's a better switch due to his typing and resistances! Were you even listening—"

Thad rested a hand on Jasmine's shoulder, silencing her. He gave her a smug look and whispered, "Girl, I've got this. I've brewed some super spicy stuff for this battle. Mostly because of what you told me the other day."

Jasmine cocked her head to the side. "The other day?"

"I thought I bought a bunch of CDs but it was the technical whatsitdoesits," Thad said. "So, I went through and read them. Apparently, they've got some hella neat tricks and moves."

"What did you get?" Jasmine asked, nearly bouncing on the tips of her toes. "Technical mechanics aren't exactly cheap."

"Well," Thad ran a hand through his short-cropped hair and laughed, "when you manage to flirt with the girl at the counter, a little discount usually comes up. Plus, I gave her some nutrition advice on top of it. It worked out. But I snagged all the punching ones, and a couple of others that sounded rad as hell."

Jasmine crossed her arms. Her jaw set, she upturned her nose and let out a heavy breath. "I see. Well...I trust you did it for your Pokemon."

"Totally, Jazzy," Thad said, giving her a thumbs up. "Now, it's time to dance."

Jasmine, with considerable effort, dragged her travel bag off to the side of the arena while Bugsy got situated at his end. Thad focused on the ref as they stepped out into the center, looking between both competitors.

"For a third gym challenge, the rules are this," Thomas said in his loudest, most clear voice. "Each trainer is permitted to use three Pokemon. No items are to be applied by the trainer mid-match, though held items are fine. I shall judge until the Pokemon are unable to continue. The first trainer to concede or have three Pokemon faint is the loser. When I return to the sideline and commence. If the maximum of twenty minutes is reached, the match will end in a draw regardless of knockouts."

The lights surrounding the arena began to dim slightly as a spotlight over the grassy turf became a bit stronger. Thad looked out toward the floating platforms; all eyes from the bug trainers and Pokemon were glued to the event about to unfold. He leaned down and gave Chad a bump on his shoulder to enter the arena, to which Chad smiled with glee and hopped into the fray.

"Begin!" Thomas shouted, waving his arms.

Bugsy pulled a Net Ball from his belt and tossed it into the air. A small, beige-colored pupae formed from the red light, shaking violently a bit as it settled on the ground.

Looks pretty immobile with no arms or legs, Thad pondered. He squinted at the creature and assessed the terrain, which he could see small silk threads dangling from the ceiling. He clicked his tongue in annoyance and raised his playbook sheet in front of his face. He'll probably use the terrain? They always did say home-field advantage is damn good. Too bad Chad hasn't figured out a lot of dodging stuff yet. Guns blazing time, baby.

"Kakuna, use String Shot and propel yourself into the web!" Bugsy ordered, pointing toward the spidery network of silks.

"Intercept him, Chad! Give 'em the Bossman Special!"

The two Pokemon wasted no efforts in their movement; the Kakuna unfurling a large wad of silky string from its mouth. It rocketed forward with impressive speed, managing to get a few 'oohs' and 'awes' from Bugsy's disciples.

Chad instead relied on his powered-up thighs: all that time lugging around Jasmine's heavy backpack and doing squats for fun now had come into fruition. He rocketed himself into the air, his fist held back to deliver a wild haymaker to the Kakuna.

Bugsy's eyes widened. "H-how? Such a leap from a small Pokemon!"

"Never underestimate leg day!" Thad shouted, pointing at his companion. "Now, give 'em the goods!"

"Trade with a Poison Sting!"

The two Pokemon collided mid-air with a thunderous clap. Chad's fist glowed a faint orange as it met Kakuna's face, crunching the carapace a bit underneath the empowered blow and snapping the String Shot grapple. Unfortunately for Chad, such a trajectory made dodging the retaliation strike impossible as purple needles shot forth and burrowed their way into the Machop's chest.

Both Pokemon plummeted toward the soft turf. A plume of dirt obscured the trainer's vision of the battlefield.

"I know you're still frisky, Chad!" Thad glanced at his playbook and smirked. "Give 'em the spicy one!"

"Chop!" boomed from the slowly clearing dust, and the Machop's silhouette could be seen dashing forward.

"Kakuna, use Poison Sting again!" Bugsy shouted, cupping his hands over his mouth. "We need to keep the damage up!"

The small ovaline silhouette of the Kakuna could start to be seen from the fading dust cloud, but Chad was already within striking distance. The crowd let out a gasp as Chad's fist became engulfed in flames, punching through the flurry of poison nettles erupting from the Kakuna's maw. A loud and rumbling 'oonah' came from the Kakuna as it tumbled backward from the strike; smoke billowing off its unmoving body. Bugsy quickly recalled his Pokemon and began to mull over his next option.

"Now that is a punch!" Thad said, jumping up and pumping his fist in the air. He looked at Jasmine and pointed at her. "See what I'm saying? Spicy punches."

"Look more closely at Chad!" Jasmine hastily replied, nudging her head toward the battlefield.

Thad squinted his eyes and immediately frowned as he noticed that odd black and purple streaks around Chad's chest were visible. "Ah, shit. What happened now?"

"Poison," Bugsy explained, holding a generic Pokeball in his hand. "I noticed that your Machop had excellent accuracy, yet failed to avoid getting hit. A good trainer knows what traits a Pokemon can possess, and I can confidently say your Machop lacks the 'guts' attribute, hence why I continued with poison."

"Ahuh, that makes sense." Thad rubbed his chin, nodding along. I've no clue what this dude is talking about. Chad's just more committed trading slaps. Damn, why's this coaching thing gotta be so complicated.

Bugsy tossed out his next Pokeball, unfurling a blue horned beetle from the brilliant shower of red light. It held its arms to the side and tilted its head back, letting out a shrill battle cry. Chad donned a square stance, holding his fists up like a professional boxer.

Jasmine cupped her hands around her mouth. "Careful, Thad, that's a Hercross and—"

"Yeah, yeah, Bug-type. I know Jazzy." Thad waved Jasmine off and focused on the situation at hand. "I think I'll stay in. Chad's not going to get healthier by the end of the battle. Blaze of glory here we come!"

Jasmine shook her head, nervously pacing back along the sideline. Her gaze was transfixed upon Bugsy's second Pokemon as it let out another roar.

"Get in there Chad!" Thad said, pointing toward the new challenger. "Give him the ole' special punch!"

Chad dashed forward, wincing in obvious pain from the spreading corruption of poison. The Heracross widened its stance and braced itself for the impending impact. Thad noticed Bugsy's lips twitch a bit as Chad nearly met the bulky beetle.

"Audible!" Thad shouted, leaning a bit over the lines of the arena and keeping his sheet of coded messages close to his face. "Seduce it!"

"Seduce it?" Jasmine blurted out.

"What?" Bugsy tilted his head and crossed his arms.

Even the fellow Bug-type trainers began to murmur amongst themselves about the implications of Thad's strategy. Coded words weren't uncommon in trainer battles, as having an edge over commands and being able to react was a prime advantage over another, but the simplicity of the command seemed...odd. The crowd began to whisper louder as the Machop skidded to a stop mere inches from the bracing Heracross and leaned onto its shoulder like a frat bro hitting on a babe at a bar, and sent a mischievous wink toward the beetle.

"Chop," Chad chirped, snapping his little grey fingers and pointing at the petrified Heracross. "Mach Macho!"

The Heracross blinked. Then it blinked again, its little black ovaline eyes fully dilated, searching Chad's face for something.

Thad couldn't hold back a smirk from worming its way onto his face. He glanced at Jasmine who seemed surprised, but relatively impressed with his audible. Bugsy on the other hand seemed confused, his mouth partway open, threatening to catch flies.

"Uh, Heracross, use Stone Edge!" Bugsy commanded, pointing at Chad. "Take 'em down while they're close!"

"Hera," the Pokemon mumbled out, clearly taken with Chad's continued babble. The entranced 'mon swayed a bit as Chad leaned on the beetle's shoulder, holding his right hand low to deliver a blow at his trainer's behest. Thad noticed how Chad's feet were a bit wobbly too; the poison was slowly working its way through his body.

"Alright, they're in love with you," Thad wrinkled his nose and chuckled, "can hardly blame 'em, but sometimes we gotta hurt those we love! Give 'em that spicy slap!"

Fire swirled around the Machop's fist. Bugsy frantically called for his Heracross to counter, but the Heracross gave no inclination to hearing their trainer's pleas.

The strike came, landing squarely in the Heracross' face. Smoke poured out and the faint smell of burning wood filled the air. Though, the victory was short-lived as the Heracross immediately reared its head back, horn glowing white, and smacked Chad right in the chest. The Machop was sent tumbling backward, bouncing on the ground like a rock being skipped across water.

"Damn, he still hit back even with the seduction technique," Thad murmured. He saw Chad was barely able to keep himself steady, and he looked to the ref who nodded back to him. "Alright, bro. I think you need a breather. I know you're not wiped out, but it's time for a substitution."

"Chaaa," the Machop wheezed out, giving his trainer a thumbs up as Thad recalled him back to the safety of the Pokeball.

Thad rubbed his chin and fished out another Pokeball from his belt. " Practically an even score right now, but I've got the momentum, and Chad for emergency use if the others can string it together. Let's see...now seems like a good time." He tossed the Pokeball in the air, and let his largest and newest member take center stage.

"Challenger Thad has chosen his second Pokemon…a very large Quagsire. Huh, you don't see that every day," Thomas remarked.

Standing on its hind legs at nearly Thad's own impressive height, well over six feet tall, the Quagsire blankly looked onward. Jasmine tilted her head to the side, chewing on her bottom lip as the Pokemon hardly seemed aware of the imminent danger it had been thrust into.

"Alright, Heracross," Bugsy pointed at the new foe, "Get in there for Close Combat! We have the type advantage!"

"Alright, Keto, that bug thing is comin' for ya!" Thad said. "Just open your mouth and breath, my dude!"

As the Heracross dashed forward, the Quagsire flopped onto its belly with a loud thud. It opened its toothless maw and exhaled a large puff of air, to which the Heracross breezed through and delivered a powerful blow on the Water-type's nose. The Quagsire let out a faint bleat, acknowledging the hit as it nearly skidded back into its trainer.

"Alright, stand back up, dude," Thad commanded, watching the Heracross with wide eyes as it began to chase down its quarry. "You gotta get up and fall on it."

"Siiiiire," the Quagsire protested, but it obeyed and clambered to its feet, albeit slowly. A large purple bruise had begun to appear on the Pokemon's rounded face.

"Another Close Combat! Quickly!" Bugsy ordered.

The Heracross began to slow down as it reached Keto, eventually slowing to a jog, then a walk, and then finally face planting before the behemoth. Panic began to rise as the trainers of the Azalea gym shouted for their Bug-type champion to get up, but the Heracross snored away without a care. Bugsy crossed his arms and shook his head as if knowing that he was trying to beat the clock on the well-timed sleep effect.

"Alright, now you can lay down," Thad said, and the Quagsire wasted no time in flopping its bulbous frame on top of the helpless Heracross. Thad winced a bit as the ground shook a bit from the impact as the Quagsire's mass buried the Heracross beneath it.

The Quagsire rolled off the squished Heracross; the Pokemon looked completely dazed and melded into the soft turf. Bugsy quickly recalled their companion and gave Thad an appraising look.

"Not bad, Thad. You managed to turn the table and use status effects to your advantage that time," Bugsy said, holding a new Pokeball. "But, let's see if you can take on my finisher."

"Gotta just adapt and play ball, kiddo," Thad replied, his hands on his hips. He lowered his voice and looked back at Keto. "Just play defensive. We've got the lead, and now we just need to tire out his last dude for our last guy."

"Quagggg!" Keto barked, surprising Thad as it rumbled forth.

Thad winced and rubbed the back of his head. "Or he can just take on the last one with everything he's got, I guess."

Bugsy released his Pokeball, to reveal a green, bidepal mantis creature with blade-like arms. It rubbed its arms together as if to sharpen them, and screeched into the air.

"Leader Bugsy's last Pokemon is Scyther!" Thomas announced, his face tense and slightly red. "Begin!"

"Scyther, use Leer!"

The Bug-type glared daggers at the Quagsire, who seemed unfazed by the menacing stare. Thad merely shrugged at the action. It wasn't doing damage, but clearly was doing something, but it wasn't raw damage or status effects from what he could tell.

"Alright, Keto, go in there and crush that thing underneath your weight!"

"Scyther, dodge and use Quick Attack!" Bugsy retorted, and the Scyther obeyed with a curt nod followed by blinding speed.

The Quagsire belly-flopped best it could onto the Scyther, but the nimble Pokemon sidestepped and landed a glancing blow on Keto's backside. Thad narrowed his eyes, clenching his fists as he noticed the vast difference in speed and reaction time.

Damn fast bug man! Keto won't be able to hit him head on...and I don't know enough of his moves or have them written down. Shit, Thad pondered as he scoured the battlefield for any possible terrain advantages. The ground is too soft too for him to chase that green bug thing. Only chance we have is to stall and maybe catch it off guard with an attack that's hard to dodge….I think I've got it.

"Keto, take a nap!" Thad shouted in a powerful tone. The Quagsire didn't hesitate in instantly falling asleep; not one to turn down a free rest at their new trainer's behest.

"Nice move Thad," Jasmine complimented, jumping up a little as her own excitement for battles was starting to bleed through her calm facade. "That should undo all of the damage from Heracross!"

Despite the compliment, Thad remained focused and wary of Bugsy's Pokemon. The gym leader's smile unsettled him. He smelt blood in the water and looked to capitalize.

"While they're down, keep attacking it with a Fury Cutter!"

The Scyther's arms glowed a faint green color as it dashed toward the soundly asleep Quagsire. It began to strike and pummel the Quagsire, adding new bruises in place of the ones that Keto had just miraculously recovered from its impromptu nap. Thad licked his lips and watched as the Scyther's strikes grew in ferocity and damage, restraining himself from jumping into the fray for his new friend.

Here goes the gamble, Thad thought. You were a god amongst those slow dudes, hope you hear my prayers.

"Keto! If you hear me, it's time to sleepwalk!"

The Quagsire shot ramrod up, taking one last furious strike from the Scyther. The Bug-type and its trainer stood in shock and awe as Keto loomed, its eyes closed but its body moving with surprising grace. A golden, holy hue began to wash over the battered and bruised Quagsire. Even the light from the overhead lights and sound became muted and dull in the wake of Keto's sleepwalking induced maneuver.

"He is a god…" Thad whispered in awe.

"Schaaaa!" The Scyther cried as it dove in for another attack, unable to hear its trainer's command. The excitement was brought to a halt as the Quagsire took the Fury Cutter to the abdomen, wobbling a bit in its golden glory.

And then in a sudden burst of magnificent speed and light, the room flashed as Keto brought his flipper down on the Scyther's head with nearly blinding speed. A thunderous crack shot through the room like a whip being snapped as the Scyther was knocked prone. The golden light faded from Quagsire as it fell backward, asleep and unconscious after the vicious strike.

"I can't believe it," Jasmine said softly. "It used Giga Impact…"

"Calling that one the 'God Slap'," Thad noted as he recalled Keto to its Pokeball. He patted the ball and smiled. "Damn good job, my dude, you weakened that green dude for our big finale."

"Thad, do you have a third Pokemon?" Thomas asked, nervously looking at the fragile Scyther. Still standing, but clearly affected by Keto's final strike.

"Oh, yeah. Going to go with my man, Dwayne!" Thad tossed a Pokeball in the air, the red light pouring down onto the battlefield to unveil the Geodude.

"Geo!" Dwayne shouted, pumping his arms and scanning the surrounding area. He locked onto the dizzied Scyther and furrowed his rocky brow.

"No time to showboat my dude, time to get shiny!"

Dwayne pumped his arms and his rocky exterior began to gleam like a jewel. The Scyther wasted no time moving in to deliver another Fury Cutter, though as it came upon the Geodude, the wily rock Pokemon slipped through its legs with a quick roll.

"Reposition, Scyther! It's faster now!" Bugsy cried out. "Use your own speed and chase it down!"

The Scyther beat its wings, creating a low hum as it lifted itself off the ground until its feet were just barely dragging across the dirt. It swerved and turned on a dime as it refaced the Geodude who had grabbed a clump of the earth and palmed it into a throwing stone.

"Nail him with a fastball! We only need one!" Thad shouted, throwing his playbook aside. He ran up the sidelines gesturing to Dwayne. "Hit him! Finish the job!"

Dwayne unleashed his Rock Throw, and the clump of hardened earth flew towards the barreling green blur. The quickened throw managed to meet the Scyther's arm blade, only to be sliced in twain as it continued upon the Geodude. Despite his increased speed, Geodude took three quickened slashes across his face until he rolled onto his back, unconscious.

"Nice try with the Rock Polish into Rock Throw," Bugsy complimented, smiling at his whirling green menace. "Even if you could land one more solid hit on Scyther, you won't be able to. He's used to dodging projectiles with his speed, not to mention his Fury Cutter has been maxed out. It's as strong as any move right now."

Thad held up a hand. "I've still got one more Pokemon, bug man." He withdrew Dwayne and held out Chad's Pokeball. "I know you've not got a lot in the tank, bro, but this is overtime. The final hour. Where the match is really won." he whispered to the Pokeball. "He's gonna come hard and fast, but you just need one punch. Step inside and remember our training with Chuck. That quick left jab you were born with."

"Challenger Thad, please release your final Pokemon, Machop," the referee instructed.

"I getcha," Thad tossed out the Pokeball, revealing an unsteady Machop that brought his arms up in a boxer position. "Alright, you know the game, it's sudden death, baby!

"Chop!" Chad dug his feet in, taking in labored breaths as the poison worked its way deeper into his system. The Scyther crouched forward and then dashed at the Machop with blistering speed, tearing up the loose dirt around them creating a large cloud in its wake.

Thad shielded his eyes from the turbulence of dirt getting kicked up, seeing Chad disappear into the cloud as the Scyther closed in. Both Pokemon let out roars as they clashed; a sharp snap booming through the arena followed by a thud. One had fallen.

All trainers and onlookers held their breath as the dust began to settle. Each person squinting, and Thomas the referee beginning to trot toward the last spot he saw the Pokemon to confirm the final knockout.

"We've got a winner!" Thomas shouted, waving the trainers over. "Victory goes to…"

"Macho!" A deep, rumbling growl emanated from the dust.

The last of the dust cleared and Thad's eyes lit up when he saw Chad, but this time standing nearly five feet tall, wearing a black speedo, and frozen in an uppercut pose. His right fist gleamed like a hunk of iron left out in the sun as he towered over the fallen mantis-like Pokemon.

"Hot damn!" Thad ran over to his swole partner. As the evolved Chad dropped down to one knee, Thad managed to support his companion by catching him under his armpit, as the evolved Chad dropped down to one knee.

"Choke," Chad wheezed out, clutching a hand over his chest where the poison had taken root. "Cho cho."

"The ole' sneaky-quick slap," Thad said in awe, wiping a tear from his eye. "You were born with that quick punch my dude, and it paid off." He pulled out his Pokeball and recalled Chad.

The faint pitter-patter of Jasmine's footsteps caught Thad's attention and he looked up to see the petite woman rushing over. She grinned from ear to ear, flashing a bit of teeth as she nearly ran into the jock.

"You never said your Machop knew Bullet Punch!"

Thad shrugged and let out a hearty laugh. "Yeah, I guess not, right? I double-checked Chuck's notebook he gave me this morning, and he mentioned it in there as Chad was born with quick hands. Figured it was time to double down on that little tidbit."

"Well fought," faint clapping came from Bugsy as he approached, holding Scyther's Pokeball in his left hand. He recalled his fallen friend and gave the ball a sad smile. "You're not too bad, Thad. Full of surprises. I thought you'd merely try to muscle your way through. Nearly did, actually."

"I may not be smart, but I know sports," Thad thumped his chest and smiled. "My crew ain't the most practiced or strategic, but we damn good at getting after that bread, ya know what I mean?"

"Not in the slightest," Bugsy sighed, "but you are victorious, nonetheless. Here." He reached into his trouser pocket and pulled out a yellowish piece of metal with black dots. "I proudly present to you the Hive Badge. If you continue along this path, I'm sure you'll be a force to be reckoned with." Bugsy pursed his lips, cast a quick glance toward Jasmine, and gave Thad a nod. "And...I haven't forgotten about what we agreed to."

"Dope, bro," Thad replied. He pulled Jasmine into a close side hug, squeezing her. "Me and Jazzy then are heading out after we hit the Pokemon center." He looked down to Jasmine, whose face was quickly becoming red. "Where's the next town?"

"My...lungs. Please."

"Mylungs?" Thad shook his head. "Nah, I think it was a color, Jazz. Magenta town? Purpleville?"

"Um," Bugsy interrupted, raising a finger. "I think she can't breathe."

Thad made an 'o' with his mouth and released Jasmine from his deadly hug. She sharply inhaled through her mouth and tenderly held her side. Thad winced a bit, knowing his excitement had gotten the better of him.

"Violet City," Jasmine gasped. "We're going to see Falkner in Violet City next."

Chapter 16: Do Bros Dream of Electric Mareep?

"Just a few more! You're on your last set!"

Jasmine squatted down again, her legs wobbling. "You said that," she inhaled sharply, "two sets ago!"

"No pain no gain, Jazzy! Also, you don't see Chad complaining!" Thad nodded toward the Machoke who had his arms behind his head, bending his knees in a perfect squat position. "He's straight up killing it!"

"He's a Fighting-type!" Jasmine squealed, though her voice faltered as she squinted her eyes and tried to do another squat. "Ugh."

Jasmine fell to the grassy ground, her legs giving out. Her half-lidded eyes glared up at Thad who modeled perfect squats alongside his companion. His cheery smile and thumbs up to her only managed to elicit a frustrated groan from the Steel-type specialist.

"Let's call it there, Chad," Thad instructed, and Chad gave his boss a shrug and struck a flexing pose. Thad nodded in appreciation at the gesture, and then dashed over to Jasmine and scooped her up in his arms. "You feeling alright?"

"Like overcooked pasta, Thad," Jasmine said, struggling to keep an even tone. "H-how many did we do?"

Thad furrowed his brow and looked over to Chad. "Uh, I wasn't keeping count. Chad, you remember how many we did?"

"Chop?" the Machoke shrugged and then struck another pose. "Macho!"

"Eh, looks like we both forgot," Thad chuckled, throwing his head back. "Funny how that happens, right?"

"How will I know if I'm improving?!"

Thad shook his head as if the answer were obvious. "By the burn, Jazzy. You train Pokedudes and whatnot, so same kinda concept. Do it until ya can't no more."

Jasmine hung her head and let out a distressed moan. "Ugh! Can… you just put me on the grass near my bag? I'd like to get an Oran berry and lay down."

Thad obliged the gym leader's request but cleared his throat in protest. "Alright, but we gotta get moving soon. This Union Cave looks chonky as heck."

"That's one way to say it's a big cave," Jasmine mused. Her fingers flipped through the overstuffed travel pack until she found a small plastic container filled with purplish berries. Her arms strained a bit to pop off the plasticware lid, and she withdrew one ripe berry. "Union Cave should lead us to Route 32, which is a straight shot to Violet City, unless we want to detour in the Ruins of Alph."

"Ruins?"

Jasmine took a nibble of the large berry and swallowed. "Yes, it's home to some unique Pokemon and some ancient myths of Johto, but nowadays it's a tourist trap." She took another bite of the juicy berry, her lips beginning to stain slightly purple. "The only other thing of note in Violet City is Sprout Tower, but I doubt that-"

"Wait, like in vegetables?" Thad asked. His eyes gleamed with excitement and manic energy.

Jasmine shrunk back a bit and finished off her berry. "Uh, yes. Kind of? I've never personally been, but it's run by an order of Bellsprout monks, if I remember correctly."

"Think they got some sweet deals on kale and spinach? Because I'mma be real right now; I could use some more fiber in my diet, and some prime veggies would be hella dope."

"I have no clue, Thad," Jasmine sighed, "but we can check if you'd like."

Jasmine's tired tone was lost on Thad as he pumped his fist in the air triumphantly. "Hell yeah!" The jock quickly shifted his focus toward Chad and gave him a nod. "Scoop up Jazzy. We've been on our feet for the day, and our victory squats have kinda tuckered her out."

"I'm not that tired!" Jasmine protested, yet her shaky legs betrayed any notion of true defiance. "It's...just inhuman to do that much. The walk from Azalea alone was lengthy. I've half a mind to use one of my Pokemon for transport."

"Jazzy, you know that's not authentic. Being able to zip around on some big rocky dude or birdman?" Thad made a few gestures with his arms, waving them to represent the mobile species of Pokemon. Chad stood beside him, nodding along sagely to his trainer's wisdom. "I wanna work my quads and see all the cool stuff up close and personal. It's like...an adventure or something."

"So we're going through Union Cave?"

Thad bent his knees and pointed both his hands toward the cave in a dramatic fashion, one drawn across his chest and the other leading in a warrior two pose. "Oh, hell yeah. It's cave time, baby."

"You know," Thad pointed his flashlight toward the ceiling littered with stalactites, "I expected Pokemon in here. Or maybe some trainers. Hell, I could settle for some old-fashioned traps."

Chad held Jasmine in a piggy-back position, or better known to Thad as it had been explained 'Pignite-strap' position. He knew not to question the colloquial terms by now, since he'd had a few weeks to sink his teeth into the wonders of Johto.

Pools of water flanked the passageways, some no more than a deep puddle while a few outcropping looked to be miniature ponds. Signs of footprints in the slightly muddied walkway showed signs of Pokemon and human traffic, but the absence of any creatures or noises echoing through the wide cave system made the hairs on the jock's arms raise.

"This is...strange," Jasmine conceded, propping her head on Chad's beefy shoulder. "Usually this is a hotspot for trainer battles for those going between Azalea and Violet City."

"This place got anything dangerous?" Thad mused, looking at the craggy walls.

"Not that I'm aware of. If you go deeper you might encounter an Onix, but mostly it's just Zubat, Sandshrew, and some other Pokemon from the nearby forest that like the humidity here." Jasmine wrinkled her nose and squinted down the path. "Wait. Can you point your flashlight down there? I think I see something glimmering."

Thad pointed his light toward Jasmine's directions, a bit farther on the beaten path near a fork in the tunnel system. A slight orange reflective glow came from a distant object, and the muscled trainer waved for his Machoke to follow him low to the ground and carefully. They crept up to the materials, noticing a torn backpack with a few scattered papers seeping out, a laptop with a cracked screen, and a small pile of books and journals beside an open suitcase.

"Sweet, cave loot!" Thad cheered. He turned back to high-five Chad, but bit his lip and paused as he met Jasmine's glare. He held a fist up to his mouth and coughed loudly. "I-, uh, mean oh no...cave loot."

"You're a terrible liar," Jasmine deadpanned as she hopped off Chad. She wobbled a bit as she walked toward the gear, and pulled out her own flashlight from her trainer belt. "Let's at least investigate and see what happened. They couldn't have gone far."

Thad nodded solemnly along. "Yeah, you right, Jazzy."

The two began to sift through the bag and suitcase with Chad standing vigil, rotating every few seconds or so and flexing down one of the dark pathways to either ward off or impress anyone who would dare sneak up. Thad started with the backpack, finding an assortment of dried nuts and berries in little pouches, threaded cord, a map of Johto with several locations marked in red ink, and several spare changes of clothes; primarily lab coats, polo shirts, jeans, and a raincoat.

Jasmine opened up the briefcase, which the lock had been busted. Inside she pulled out several different volumes of books. She placed the flashlight in her mouth to work quicker and set them aside. She then removed the flashlight and squinted to read the small text on the bland covers.

"Looks like we have a scientist, look here Thad," Jasmine tugged on his compression shirt, nabbing his attention, "He's got titles like 'Slaking in the Mist' and 'The Shuckle Whisperer'."

"And besides being incredibly nerdy, what's that tell us?"

"He's a research assistant, and I can only think of a few in this region." Jasmine tilted her head, pushing aside another one of the journals. "Like this one here," she raised a slender black book with grey inlays, "This one is 'Thinking like an Alakazam'. It's one of the few published works of Professor Elm that hasn't seen circulation yet. He has to be a researcher."

Thad furrowed his brow and peered over Jasmine's shoulder, looking at the plain book, and then back to her. "Wait, how do you know that?"

Jasmine flashed a small, proud smile. "Pokemon researchers often ask gym leaders for work assistance. I know, because Elm approached me to analyze my Metagross about its mental capacity since I have one, perhaps the only one, domesticated in the region."

"Neat." Thad's voice was polite, but a tad disinterested. "So, uh, how's this help us?"

Jasmine sighed. "Not much, honestly, but we can assume he was here for a reason. My guess would be investigating the lower levels."

"Choke!" Chad pointed at the ground ahead of them.

Thad whirled around and squinted at the mud, noticing heavy footprints from a set of boots. He smirked and gave Chad a thumbs-up. Jasmine walked over to the footprints, shining her flashlight on the tracks and tracing the path the man took: up a slight incline and down a ladder deeper into the cavern.

"They're still relatively fresh. Maybe a few hours or so. I'd guess he was here this morning," Jasmine said. She leaned forward a bit, and then like she'd been hit in the gut, recoiled backward.

"Whoa, whoa!" Thad lept into action, bracing himself behind Jasmine to prevent her from tipping. "Talk to me, what's up?"

"When I went toward the ladder, I felt this," she hesitated, licking her lips as she searched for the right words, "I-I don't know, but my brain felt all gooey and soft. Almost sleepy. Much like how my legs feel at the moment."

Jasmine rubbed at her eyes as Thad motioned with his head for Chad to come over and steady the gym leader. He strode forward toward the spot on the path, looking around for any evidence of traps or foul play. Not that he knew really what to look for, since his experience of looking for traps was mostly relegated to watching Indiana Jones movies and Scooby-Doo as a kid. And yet, he didn't feel any strange sensations.

"Well, maybe the air is a bit stale, I guess," Thad said, turning back toward the group. "But, it ain't no bad stuff. Maybe you got a whiff of something weird?"

"Must've been that," Jasmine conceded, though her tone remained skeptical. "Shall we pursue?"

"Fo' show," Thad replied. "Chad, push that dude's stuff against the side of the path and follow behind. Don't need someone else stealing that nerd's loot."

The trio marched forward with a steady yet wary cadence. Thad remained in the front, his eyes darting back and forth, ready for anyone to pop out and ambush them. He inhaled strongly through his nostrils, expecting the same sensation to hit him like it did Jasmine, but nothing happened. No gas leak, strange mushroom fog, or anything.

Well, that's a bit disappointing, Thad thought as he reached the ladder.

"Alright guys, we're going to go down and—" Thad turned to look back at Jasmine and Chad, but noticed both had fallen asleep standing straight up a few feet back from him. "What in the goddamn?"

He dashed back to the two; their eyelids drooped and arms hanging at their sides like marionettes. He lightly slapped Chad across the cheek and waved his hand in front of Jasmine, but got no response.

"Okay, now I'm straight up not having a good time," Thad mumbled to himself. He returned Chad to his Pokeball and hefted Jasmine over his shoulder. He glanced at the travel pack Chad was carrying for them and kicked it to the side of the rocky tunnel. "Eh, it'll be fine, but," he turned toward the ladder, "something's fishy."

With his traveling companion secure, Thad descended down the old iron ladder into the depths of the cavern. He tucked the flashlight in between his headband while he climbed, trying his best to look for the bottom and use one arm to steady Jasmine.

Maybe I should have left her? Thad pondered for a moment as his feet hit the bottom. Or maybe this is like some cave PokeWitch?! Maybe I need to battle her for a magical potion or something. He paused, rubbing his chin. Wait, that's not right. Witches live in huts, not caves. Duh.

The lower cavern walls dripped with water, tufts of slickened moss clinging around small little clusters of white mushrooms. A faint sound of a rock gently skipping across the water echoed through the larger chamber. Thad stepped over a snoozing Wooper as he rolled his feet, keeping his flashlight slightly lowered to avoid any other obstacles on the ground.

Lil' dude fell asleep like the others. Gotta be something like a force field. Thad paused and pursed his lips, whispering under his breath, "wait, do Pokemon even have force fields? Maybe it's some weird tech by that angry boyband 'R' bros. They seemed like they had something to compensate for…"

"Maaaggghh!"

Thad turned around nonchalantly, looking for the source of the shrill cry. Behind him was a three-foot purple Pokemon with a large purple hat, a wispy body with three ruby jewels encrusted upon its torso, and haunting yellow eyes. It waved its smoke braid-like arms in the air and let out a gurgle.

"You doin' the wave or tryin' to spook me?" Thad asked, cocking his head slightly to the side. "Also, sweet hat, my dude."

"Maaaaag!"

"Sorry," Thad cleared his throat, "Dudette."

The Pokemon waved its arms again, pointing down the path. "Maggghhh!"

"Bruh, I don't have Luigi Board," Thad rolled his tongue around his mouth, considering his words carefully. "Or was it a Squeegee board? Eh, whatever. I have no idea what you are trying to say."

The Pokemon rolled its eyes and did the closest to what it could to a facepalm; its smoky arm collided with and dematerialized from its face, only to reform once more. It floated toward the cavern wall and began to take on a slight purple, bioluminescent hue. Thad watched with awe as it traced its arms over the cave wall, leaving a faint trail of psychic energy in its wake.

"It says," Thad licked his lips and squinted at the roughshod handwriting, "… 'please follow me. I need you to help my trainer.'" Thad perked up and chuckled. He adjusted Jasmine's placement on his shoulder, managing to get a faint mona from her, but she remained in a deep trance. "You need help? Coulda just said so."

The Ghost-type Pokemon blinked and stared at Thad for a few moments. He returned the blank stare with a shrug, even looking behind him for a moment to make sure nothing odd was behind him.

"Well, just show the way and I'll help out your trainer...which might happen to be the researcher guy?"

"Missma!" The Pokemon said, bobbing its head up and down. It turned away and began floating down the cave path.

"See, that's better," Thad hustled after the strange creature. "Nodding is like...universal, ya know?"

Jasmine let out a muted groan once more, her brown hair obscuring most of her face and brushing against Thad's thigh. The wide path gave way to a faint shimmering in the distance; a beam of moonlight light piercing into the cavern and reflecting off a large body of water. Thad took note of the hole in the ceiling first where the light penetrated and then down to the sizable pond where a bulbous creature skirted across the surface as if it were ice skating.

Looks like some jacked-up jellyfish, Thad wondered as he kept a close eye on the little loop the jellyfish continued to trace in the water. Its skin looked to be covered in a slimy black ichor with eight long tentacles that had a mix of spikes and iridescent spots protruding from an opaque bell. Inside the large bell, Thad saw the form of a man inside, slumped to the side and blissfully asleep as his legs dangled out of the creature's lower half.

"Well, uh… damn," Thad muttered. He sat Jasmine on the ground against the cave wall, laying her on her side in the rest position. "So, ghosty girl, I guess that's your trainer?" Another nod from the Pokemon confirmed Thad's suspicions. "Alright… so why's it all like that? It's dancing all weird."

The Ghost-type extended its arms, each glowing a more vibrant purple. The aura spread out toward the water where several Wooper and Quagsire rose to the surface, fast asleep and unbothered by the abomination swimming circles near them. The jellyfish creature had an aura surrounding it as well, but it was wavy and faded in color, as if not fully taking root. Thad scratched at his chin and nodded along.

"So you got the spooky sleep powers," Thad confirmed, exchanging a knowing glance with the phantasmal witch. He inched toward the edge of the water, kicking a pebble into the pool. The strange Pokemon and man inside didn't react; just continuing on their loop around the water. "I think I get it. I gotta rip that dude outta the jellyfish."

"Missaah!" The ghost nodded up and down, even clapping its little wispy arm tips together. It quickly drew in the dirt with its telekinetic prowess, spelling out 'Danger. Injury will wake it.'.

Thad stripped off his shirt and tossed it on the muddy bank. "I hear you ghosty gal. But don't worry, because you just managed to find the best, uh," he bit his lower lip for a moment, "jellyfish-ripper-outer guy around. Yeah. Totally that. You got that magic sauce and I got the beef."

"Maaaggius!"

"I'm ready, just stop your witchy stuff and let that jellyfish come to daddy," Thad replied, rotating his shoulder. "I'mma clap this hentai monster, bet."

A light hum emanated from the Ghost-type Pokemon and the purple energy cloaking the jellyfish dissipated. Thad flexed his biceps and took a square stance at the water's edge, locking eyes with his quarry. The parasitic Pokemon let out a wild shriek; its tentacles lashing out in every direction, mere inches from piercing the sleeping Quagsire and Wooper floating on the surface.

Thad grunted and beckoned the faceless monster. Its tendrils extended and writhed as it let out another shrill, otherworldly cry. He didn't bother to see if the Ghost-type remained by his side. There was a person to save, and he refused to be some spineless chump.

"Come and get some!"

The last goad snapped the creature's frail composure. Eyes from within its inky bell glowed a faint yellow; the man inside looked at him like a deranged puppet.

It jerked toward Thad, tentacles leading the way as it dragged its heavier bell behind it. Water kicked up from the pond like it was a Lovecraftian waverunner. Thad braced himself, his eyes tracing the erratic movements of the tendrils as they came upon him.

Then the beast struck; needled tendrils shot forth at the exercise maniac. His heart pounded in his chest, feeling the frantic beat in his eardrums.

In a burst of speed, Thad's compact form slid underneath the lashing. The momentum of its unsteady body kept it from instantly retaliating with its tendrils, instead choosing to shoot out a stream of vicious poison from the small sacs in its bell.

But Thad twirled and spun around the corrosive acid with inhuman grace; the many hours of pilates shining through as he had shifted himself past the beast's defenses and placed himself directly under the looming menace. He bent his knees and locked his eyes on the man the creature had subsumed, noticing how his legs dangled lifelessly as the creature flailed about.

Then, Thad leapt. He leaped with all his might, cocking his arm back as he neared the place where the man's body melded with the Pokemon. He shifted his body mid-air, thrusting all his weight behind the impending blow.

Thad's might blow connected. He punched the parasitic creature right in its host's privates.

"Nihihihihi!" The beast chittered, falling onto its back.

Spasms overtook the beast's sense of reason and drive to fight for the moment. Thad landed in a superhero pose and smirked. And now, it's time for the real beat down.

Thad gripped all of the Pokemon's tentacles like he would a battle rope at the gym. His beefy forearms and calloused hands were a testament to how well he'd whipped those thick corded ropes back at the gyms in his homeworld. But he had not been slacking and he lifted his arms and whipped the creature. It flailed against him, but could not shake his titanic grip nor angle the stingers of its tendrils to impale the man.

"You messed with the wrong dude!" Thad roared, and he swung the creature like a baseball bat.

The earth shook as Thad slammed the Pokemon into the rocky wall. He twisted his hips and reversed direction, slamming the creature back and forth like a pendulum of pain. His knuckles were white, threatening to pinch off the creature's tentacles as he refused to stop. After what felt like a marathon session of swing, a loud popping sound echoed out from the creature and a vicious juice poured from its inflated bell, and with it the researcher.

Thad heaved the Pokemon one last time, sending it careening into the shallow end of the underwater pond. It skipped along the surface once like a stone and then floated. Faint gurgles came from the beast as it drifted lazily on the water, occasionally twitching.

"Ey, researcher dude, are you alive?" Thad ran over to the slime encrusted man, poking at him with his foot. "Helloooo?"

The man coughed up some phlegm and groaned. He reached inside his drenched lab coat, holding a strange-looking Pokeball: a dark blue exterior with light blue lines and a yellow quad-beveling finish. His arm shook madly as he rolled it out of his pocket; a look of pain and triumph behind a pair of cracked glasses.

Well, I know what to do with that, Thad scooped up the unique Pokeball and hurled it at the defeated Pokemon. "Yeet!"

The jellyfish creature was absorbed in red light. The ball fell into the water, buoyed in the water. It didn't shake even once and immediately clicked, signaling that it was captured.

"Game, set, match," Thad brushed off his shoulders as he waded into the water. He snatched the Pokeball and held the trophy in his hands. "Winner, Thaddeus. Booyah."

Once Thad had defeated the Ultra-Beast, the Mismagius' illusionary spell had ceased. A protective measure and the final command from the researcher, Joshua Elm, before his untimely capture. Thad managed to retrieve everyone's backpacks and reconvene in the sublayer of Union cave at the edge of the water where the battle had taken place, regaling the dazed researcher and Jasmine about his victory.

The Pokemon researcher was a man in his late twenties with an average build, thick glasses, and a hairline that was threatening to run away. He held himself rigidly and upright; an aura of superiority stuck with him, though it withered a bit when standing before Thad's hulking frame.

"So, in summary, ya boi managed to beat down some jellyfish for the W," Thad flexed his pecs for emphasis; his skin-tight shirt leaving little to the imagination.

"I still find it hard to believe a human managed to take on an Ultra Beast," Joshua muttered, though his voice held an air of interest. He held a journal in his hands, scribbling down notes. "Still, you have my thanks for your efforts. Donating the specimen was an honorable gesture."

"It ain't no problem fam," Thad said, blushing slightly. "I gotta feelin' that me and that squid dude wouldn't get on."

"The Nihilengo is a threatening variety of Pokemon," Joshua concluded. "I'm sure once I get back to New Bark Town, my uncle will be in contact with an expert on the matter. Having a confirmed capture and not merely a sighting outside of the native region means…" he itched the back of his head and let out a nervous chuckle, "well, the scientific community will be in an uproar, to say the least."

"I've never seen or heard of a Pokemon like the one here," Jasmine said with a hint of skepticism. She tapped her foot on the ground and scowled at the researcher a bit. "It's a bit reckless to pursue such a dangerous Pokemon by yourself. Falkner or Bugsy would have helped, if you would have asked."

Joshua sighed heavily. "Yes, in hindsight I will concede that. Originally, we'd detected only readings of activity. I was supposed to only record the activity with Nyx here," he gestured to the Mismagius, "but as you can see, things devolved from there. I've already said my thanks, Jasmine."

Jasmine's lips became a thin line and crossed her arms. "That you have. But I still don't understand one thing," she raised a finger and looked toward Thad, "how did you not fall asleep to the Mismagius' illusion powers?"

Thad scoffed. "Pshhh, cause I'm awesome. Duh."

"But… the Mismagius should have caught you in its illusion! Even Chad and the wild Pokemon were affected!"

Thad chuckled softly and placed a hand on Jasmine's shoulder. "Oh, Jazzy. Everyone knows ghost tricks don't work if you don't believe in them."

"Perhaps, because it's radiating some kind of Normal-type energy? Could be some kind of immunity, as some humans have been known to occasionally bind with certain auras." Joshua pushed his glasses up. "My uncle and I could analyze you in New Bark Town, if you'd like."

Thad squinted at the researcher and leaned over to Jasmine's ear, whispering, "did Goggles just call me a basic bitch?"

Jasmine smiled and covered her mouth immediately. "No, you're fine Thad," Jasmine gently replied. She cleared her throat and fought off the smile that teased at the corners of her mouth. "So, I presume you won't need an escort or anything, Mr. Elm?"

"No, I still have some things to check for still here that the main threat is gone. Cosmic energy that may still linger, perhaps shedding some light to the portals from these strange lands," Joshua said. He gave a curt nod to the group and returned his attention to his journal. "Again, if something happens, I'll send a dispatch over the emergency PokeNav network."

Portals to other places. Thad wrinkled his nose and looked up at the dark ceiling. Could it be the same?

"Very well," Jasmine replied in a haughty voice. She hooked her arm around Thad's and began to pull him along. "Let's leave the good scientist to his work."

Jasmine led the march toward the ladder to the top level. Thad cast one last look over his shoulder at the scientist, frowning at the man's hushed mutterings and odd walking pace. That dude might need therapy after being swallowed by a hentai monster, Thad thought. But he said something about Ultra Beasts and portals… coincidence?

"You coming, Thad?"

Thad shook his head as Jasmine's question roused him from his thoughts. "Uh, yeah Jazzy. Just doing some thinking." He latched onto the ladder and began to follow, averting his gaze to not look up at Jasmine's rear. She'd chosen a silver and blue summer romper, so nothing was exposed, but Thad didn't want to have that argument.

He glanced at his bicep and flexed it a bit as he climbed. Well, if there are portals that beasts are coming through, I think I'mma be the alpha. Ultra Beast Thaddeus, baby. Hell yeah.