Ok I am gonna give it straight
First 30 chapters almost garbage from a readers perspective
Are they important to the story? Yes very important. They set an important framework for the whole story. The story after that is quite enjoyable, I binge read all the way until I caught up with the story.
The reason I have such disdain for the first 30 chapters is that, we as the readers have no context , who is Ryan? Asmodius? What blessing? Who is the girl? Why every girl wants to hit Ryan?
I really wished I had clear info abt this story construction from the synopsis. Also the synopsis dosent really cover the actual of the story at all.
Good thing abt the story is that the writing quality is pretty decent, unless there is major info dump. There is enough intrigue to hook the reader. I concept of the book is quite intresting.
Some problems I would say are that there are too many characters introduced too early and at once. As a result everyone has a shallow personality. Currently only 2 people in the story have a proper personality: Ryan and Arian. Other than everyone else is superficial. Also this is clearly not a villain novel yet, bad marketing is never good.
Some recommendations(you know best author, these are just personal opinions)
More slice of life chapters: like mc and Selenea went on a ‘date’. You could have taken this aspect slow. Give us more perspective on what he is feeling which walking with her, them asking questions about each other.
Maybe it will actually give an idea why Ryan started falling in love with Selena cause all I see is he got forced to say she is is gf, she bullied him into going places, she life when he complements her.
Another thing I would say is add a few filler chapters, this adds on to the Slice of life aspect. Like mc talking abt the sword he got or a chapter abt him finding out that the fairy is enslaved by the earring. I am just saying the story does not need to go from one bug event to the next. You can slow down a bit and build the world.
Also dial down the annoyingness of the mc. He has experience of 20+ years due to his 2 life’s. He dosent need to act childish or immature when talking with every single character.
I would also appreciate chapter from other chapters pov(not too many but enough to give an idea)
Again I am not saying the story is bad. I am just saying it is not refined enough to reach his full potential.
