Chapter 72 - Rank one breakthrough.

While Xin and the other caravan members were away, several "seeds" broke through. Xin found this grating, as they were allowed to freely develop, while he was forced to risk his life fighting rank two masters on two separate occasions.

The competition was quite severe, as Lei seemed to evolve as a fencer and cultivator every day, while Rui Ming, who was already exceptional, looked like he wasn't intending to slow down any time soon. Yao Nang was also planning to break through soon, and so was Murong Zhan.

"You can do this, man. Nothing to worry about." Lei smiled at him this morning, when he visited him in the hospital. His hamstring was healed with qi, but he was still undergoing rehab.

"Your recipe sounds nice in theory, but you'll have to balance the flow of damaged qi, sure you can execute that motion?" Xie Xiaodan also believed in him, but was worried by the technical details. A conflicting element breakthrough was always tricky. Unlike his other teachers, Xie Xiaodan never asked him to refine one of his elements, and believed in the path Xin chose.

"If you need anything, anything, please tell me." Wu Xiaoyun told him today. She had painted her hair raven black, and, combined with her new dark mascara, she looked akin to a death priestess. Still, she acted friendly and eager to help. Xin found her change of image interesting, yet unexpected, and wondered why she did it.

"Thanks, I'll manage." He said confidently as they parted ways. Will I?

"I'm leaving for the capital, boy." Master Huang Lingbo said as he polished his flying sword. "Remember, with human qi, there is no trick. There is no trick to life. There is no trick to you." His words made Xin uncomfortable, but he thanked him anyway.

Xin entered the Elemental hall. There, down the corridor, he was led towards a separate breakthrough room, prepared just for him.

Master Yu Ting created a fancy formation in this place. Between the walls coated in iron, there was a futon on top of a mossy stone. A little waterfall was flowing from a hole in the wall behind Xin's back, creating a little stream, broken up in two by the stone.

There was also another small hole in the wall, for the music to enter the room. Xin asked the resident musician to play an ambient and calm melody, with subtle hints of melancholy creeping in. The musician would also improvise the song based on the qi flow in the room.

The Feng Shui was very hard to set up properly for such a breakthrough. Metal represented the West, and Wood represented the East. Xin's centrally situated rock was a good compromise, and some decorative elements like fans, swords and flower pots were hung on the walls to repress the imbalance in case it occurs. Master Ting seemed to have done a good job, as there was a pleasant tingling feeling in Xin's stomach as soon as he entered.

Xin prepared his body in advance. A sattvic diet for a few days, to relax the body and wash away the excesses, followed by a fancy mix of qi active food and reagents the day after. He also ate lots of salty fish and caviar the day prior. A natural combination of seafood's water and salt's earth elements was perfect for reinforcing his wood and metal elements, thus he was willing to endure eating fish, which she hated (but he loved caviar, as it was probably his favourite food).

Xin sat down and hid his notes. He knew them by memory at this point, as he played the whole process in his head too many times.

Need to not overthink, he thought.

He washed his feet and nostrils and sat down on the futon. In one motion, he opened a pseudo aperture and planted his conflict resolution materials into it. Momentarily, he felt a surge of qi, as his wood element was no longer repressed. Impressive.

Now, for the hardest part. 

Xin focused his qi to create an empty space where his core would be. Trivial. He then channelled his qi and opened the meridians in correct order. A person with no bloodline would be at a disadvantage, and would have to inject materials just to have a chance to train this motion, but Xin trained qi control since early puberty, when his elemental nature awakened. Also trivial.

Xin felt the energies slowly start flowing in his meridians, so he clapped his hands. The musician in a nearby room started humming a tune, fitting Xin's description. Still, he was slightly annoyed by the tempo. Am I nervous or is this musician a bit off? Whatever, doesn't matter.

Xin meditated as the qi flow strengthened. His meridians were transforming and opening up. He enjoyed the sensations of wood and qi flowing together, letting them swirl in harmony, settling into an empty space around his future core.

Around twenty minutes have passed. Xin felt calm, the soothing sound of a little waterfall helping him focus.

Time for the Three Qi. 

Heavenly Qi. 

Xin opened up his mind and spirit. Luckily, his totemic training also gave him a better understanding of this process. He could feel the totem, worn as a necklace, start purring on his chest. Not the elemental nature it wanted Xin to cultivate, but it admired getting stronger, so it didn't help or interfere, just observed in curiosity.

Let a small bit of the Universe flow into you. Become one and separate yourself again. Be reborn. 

Xin felt a strong surge of qi enter his body. That's it. That's the proper sensation! 

Let the thoughts flow and surf them, whatever they are! Xin exhaled. 

This world... Is a lie! The Empire is nothing but a small kingdom. There is a bigger, more vigorous world out there, filled with wonder and excitement. We are just an abandoned playground. A little corner, just like my old hut. Eventually, one has to leave it.

Xin felt some anxiety, but he wasn't sure it was his. Won't you get punished for thinking this, Xin? Do you have what it takes to call things their names? 

Instead of replying, Xin dissolved in the sensation. His meridians have overflown, and Xin felt a pleasant tingling spread in his head, giving him goosebumps. A heavenly inspiration!

Heavens, please inspire my... Expansion! A seemingly random word popped up in Xin's mind. Images of plant growth and martial art maneuvers flooded into his head, along with a feeling of becoming bigger, more important in the grand scheme of things. It wasn't a request he had in mind, but he followed the intuition. 

Xin felt like a string puppet, as if his thoughts were animated by something else. He found this sensation invasive, but didn't resist it. He then felt his mind get filled with ideas, a product of his and heaven's symbiosis. 

No time to digest my gains — need to move on!

Earth Qi. To tame the body that resists change. To grow through exertion. To stay intact as you become something else!

Xin focused on his bodily sensations and honestly evaluated himself.

Taller than average, trained, durable. Somewhat handsome, but many people found him uncanny, with his dead stare and cold facial expressions. A conflicting bloodline, a curse and a gift. A healthy body, young and vigorous. Shouldn't be a problem.

Xin focused again and started absorbing the energy from the outside into his body. It wasn't an intellectual process, you just consumed and drained, and you had to want it. Truly want it.

Xin started strong, draining the surroundings and breakthrough materials somewhat effectively, but eventually the qi flow dried up. He felt like he wanted to absorb more, but couldn't. Was his will sealed? Was his hunger repressed? Was his body not ready to take it? 

He mixed his gains into his core, but it was barely enough to supplement the breakthrough. Xin felt a lot of regret and disappointment. Contrary to his heaven qi inspiration, his earth qi stage didn't fail, but it would give him no boon, either.

Next, Human qi! The key to all cultivation! The essence of human beings. A mystery substance separating heaven and earth.

Human qi stage was considered the easiest in Foundation stage breakthroughs, and with Xin's life experience, it shouldn't become a problem.

Envision the world that you want to create inside of you. A secret technique of the Autumn Leaf sect. Thank you, mother. Knowledge doesn't smell, I'll use what you taught me no matter how you treated me.

Xin focused and visualised a dense, but organised forest, well-maintained and tranquil. In the middle, there was a big tower that looked like an iron spire, twisted as it pierced the sky. Like a giant ceremonial dagger, a testament to his unique vision. His meridians responded favourably, accepting a huge flow of human qi.

If my mom cared about me enough to teach me cultivation techniques, why did she leave us? Xin felt a flow of emotions build up, a grip in his chest tightened once more.

I shouldn't panic. That's to be expected. That's the tricky part. The more human qi, the stronger the emotions.

A tall twisted tower? Won't I be alone there? 

My friends, they only like me for what I give them, and what I represent for their vision of themselves. They don't care about the true "me". If I opened up to any of them, they'd push me away. We are born alone, live alone and die alone. To think otherwise is to delude yourself.

Lei, are we truly friends? He is a wounded animal, and he needs... something? And whatever it is that he needs, I can't give it to him. And once he finds this out, he'll also reject me, like everyone else did.

I have everything to achieve success, but there is something fundamentally broken in me. No, stop.

Xin realised that his human qi was overflowing. He didn't absorb that much, but it was unusually potent, and very unbalanced.

Even the totem became anxious, waking up and hissing like a cornered animal.

"Get stronger! You must!" The totem shouted in Xin's voice, manipulating the human qi that flew into it.

"I'm trying. Shut up."

"Don't die without children! That's the end of your universe, otherwise!"

Xin felt terribly. He remembered Wu Xiaoyun. Is the way he was rejecting her what his own love would do to him one day? 

Lady Meiling. Just weeks ago, she felt like she was on top of the world, but now all she could do was stab him with words. She's just like me, with her delusional sense of self-superiority and resentment. She thinks she's better than the others, and while it's true sometimes, she just uses this to defend her fragile ego.

A myriad more thoughts circled in Xin's head chaotically. They weren't just usual anxious thoughts of a tired person, but terribly deceptive half-truths, their only nature was to overwhelm him and make him fail.

Need to endure a bit. I only need to succeed in two out of three qi stages, which I already did. As long as my human qi doesn't completely collapse, I'll make it!

The music in the room got tense. A flute the musician played fumbled a note, and now sounded like he lost his breath.

And next, Xin's human qi collapsed and died down. Anticlimactic. Just like his father's death.