You Picked The Wrong Gacha Fool

A few days after the Tantabus situation I was meditating and sorting through the info from the Collector and I had just finished the last chunk of useful information allowing me to discard everything else.

'Finally, that took what 2 months to finish. I will not drain another like him for a long time if I can help it. Now I believe Lex has been pestering me about getting rid of the Vanko family as they are becoming a liability. At least I gained a lot of Intelligence stat points. I would have gotten more if a lot of the information he knew wasn't basically useless or something I already knew. Well, I should go get rid of the Vanko family now. After that, I will pull Gacha.'

[Drained Knowledge = + 49 Intelligence]

[Ding]

[Stat Level Reached Granting Perk]

[Cosmic Mind lvl: Max

Once per month can trigger a Mind Overload which temporarily increases Intelligence and thought processing speed by 300% for 2 Hours. After the Mind Overload wears off user will enter a coma-like state for 24 Hours and suffer from headaches for 3 days. Skill Grants Passive Perfect Recall and Memorization. Improves Brain efficiency passively by 50%. ]

It takes very little time to use Drain Knowledge on the Vanko family and I gain a surprising amount from it.

[Killed Important Character + 500 XP]

[Drained Knowledge = + 9 Intelligence]

[805/2500XP]

'More Intelligence stats than I expected but I suppose it makes sense as the Collector had lots of information but a lot was useless. The Vankos had lots of technical expertise and advanced knowledge. System activate Lucky Star and then pull 30 Gacha.'

[Ding]

[Drawing 30 Gacha. Done Showing Results.]

{Spoon of Prosperity x 1 (Adventure Time)

A Magical Spoon That Nourishes Anyone Who Balances It On Their Nose. }

{Munificent Schematics x 1 (Star Wars)

Schematics For The Munificent-Class Star Frigate. }

{Dryad Summon x 1 (Wizard 101)

Summons 1 Dryad. Can Heal Anyone Fully If Asked. Is A Pacifist And Will Prefer To Stay In A Forest. Will Be Loyal To Summoner.}

{Compendium Of Personal Shield Tech x 1 (Borderlands)

Is A Complete Compendium Of Every Personal Shield Ever Made. Includes Schematics On How To Construct Various Brands Of Shields.}

Pipboy 3000 Mk IV x 1 (Fallout)

Is A Personal Information Processor (PIP) Serving As A Database For The Wearer's Personal Information And Inventory. Can Store Up To 1000 Lbs Of Material Without Weighing Down The User. }

{Enchantment Table x 1 (Minecraft)

Enchanting Tables Draw Power From Bookshelves Placed Around Them, Improving Applied Enchantments At The Expense Of Mana Requirement. Can Use Either Souls Or Mana To Fuel Enchantments. }

{Background Customizer x 3

Used To Make A Background For Summons. Uses Stored Valuables To Pay For Needed Changes.}

{Blue-Eyes White Dragon Summon x 1 (Yu-Gi-Oh)

This Legendary Dragon Is A Powerful Engine Of Destruction. Virtually Invincible, Very Few Have Faced This Awesome Creature And Lived To Tell The Tale. Due To Dovakiin Nature Of Summoner Loyalty Is Guaranteed. As The Famous Saying Goes If At First You Don't Succeed, Blast It With Your Blue Eyes Again.}

{Harem no Jutsu x 1 (Naruto)

After Using The Shadow Clone Technique To Create Many Copies Of The User, The User And Their Shadow Clones Each Perform The Sexy Technique To Change Their Appearances Into Beautiful Naked Women. Effects Are Boosted Based On Charisma Stat.}

{Total Maniac x 1

Its True Power Is To Ignore Racial Restrictions, Throwing All Nearby Characters Into A State Of Confusion. No Requirements For Activation. Can Affect All Beings No Matter How Powerful Or Immune They Are. }

{Jelly Filled Donuts x 50 (Pokemon)

These Donuts Are Great! Jelly Filled Are Brock's Favorite. Nothing Beats A Jelly Filled Donut. [Disclaimer: Jelly-Filled Donuts Are Not Actual Jelly-Filled Donuts And Are Instead Onigiri. The System Is Not Responsible For Mislabeled Food Or Allergic Reactions Caused By Mislabeling.] }

{Temp Summon Xerneas 1 Month x 1 (Pokemon)

Summons The Life Pokémon For 1 Month. Can Grant Eternal Life To One Target. Can Also Ressurect One Single Being No Matter How Long It Has Been Since Death And Regardless Of Body Remaining. Grants Nature's Blessing To Area Where Summon Presides. When 1 Month Ends A Tree Will Be Left Where Xerneas Was Last Which Provides Permanent Nature's Blessing To The Planet It Is On. }

{Mind Plate x 1 (Pokemon)

The Original One Breathed Alone Before The Universe Came. Grants Complete Mental Status Immunities. Makes User Immune To All Psychic Attacks. Can Negate The Mind Stone. Grants Omega Level Psychic Powers. Size Can Be Reduced To Allow Wearing By Non-Pokemon. If All Plates Are Collected Then Arceus Can Be Summoned For Free. }

{2 Million Dollars x 1

Gives 2 Million USD. }

{Batmobile x 1 (DC)

1989 Version Of The Batmobile. Automatically Restocks Fuel And Armament Once Per Week. Automatically Repairs Itself Once A Month.}

{Aqua Summon x 1 (Konosuba)

Aqua Is A Goddess Of Water Who Guides Young Japanese To The Afterlife, As Well As The Goddess Worshipped By The Axis Order. Known As The Worthless Goddess. Will Affect Everyone Around Her With A -100 Luck Debuff. }

{Epona Summon x 1 (Zelda)

Loyal Steed Of The Triforce Of Courage. Can Strangely Not Die In Combat And Will Reincarnate Every So Often. Due To Alicorn Nature, Summon Will Be Loyal.}

{Nahkriin x 1 (Elder Scrolls)

Grants User A 25% Increase In Mana And A 25% Boost To Destruction And Restoration Magic. Is Indestructible And Grants A 75% Reduction To All Damage Recieved To The Head. }

{Terminator T-800 Summon x 1 (Terminator)

Summons A Reprogramed T-800 Terminator Whose Main Directive Is To Protect And Serve The Summoner. Modeled After Arnold Schwarzenegger. }

{IF Prototype LQ-84i Summon x 1 (Metal Gear)

Summons Blade Wolf, Which Is A Wolf-Like Quadrupedal Unmanned Gear With A Learning Optical Neuro-AI And A Prototype Verbal Interface. Known weapons Systems Included A Chainsaw Attached To His Back That Could Be Used To Cut Opponents, Spring-Loaded HF Knives, A Rail Gun, As Well As Extendable Claws. Is Loyal To Summoner. }

{Neuralyzer x 1 (MiB)

Has The Ability To Wipe The Mind Of Anybody Who Sees The Flash Via Isolating And Editing Certain Electronic Impulses Related To Memory. Once People Are Neuralyzed, They Seem To Enter A Trance That Leaves Their Minds Prone To Suggestion. }

{Summon Undead 6th Tier x 1 (Overlord)

A 6th Tier Spell That Allows To Summon Mid-Tier Undead. Examples Include Death Knight, Death Warrior, And Liches. }

{Complete Dragon Rend x 1 (Elder Scrolls)

The Shout Forces A Dragon To Land And Experience The Concept Of Mortality. Comes With All 3 Words Fully Unlocked. Works On All Dragons Regardless Of Origin. The Shout Consists Of Three Words Of Power, JOOR ZAH FRUL. }

{Lucy/Kaede Summon x 1 (Elfen Lied)

Summons A Non-Contagious Version Of The Queen Diclonius Lucy. Will Be Loyal To Summoner. May Require Extensive Therapy.}

{Lugia's Song x 1 (Pokemon)

Completely Heals One Target Of All Aliments, Injuries, Disabilities, Etc. Calms Everyone Who Hear The Music Being Played. Does Not Work If Recorded. Can Calm The Oceans And Dispel Weather Phenomenon. }

{Widowmaker Summon x 1 (Overwatch)

Summons Widowmaker With All Her Equipment. Equipment Restocks Weekly. Loyalty To Summoner Guaranteed. Un-Brainwashed Version Which Improves Cognitive Functions. }

{ID Mask x 1 (Ben 10)

Type Of Alien Technology Used To Disguise The Wearer. }

{Marceline Summon x 1 (Adventure Time)

Summons Marceline The Vampire Queen As The Half Demon Half Vampire Version. Will Be Loyal To The Summoner. }

{Lucrehulk-Class Battleship x 3 (Star Wars)

A 3,170 Meter Long and 3,009 Meter Wide Battleship. The Ring Has 164 Point Defense Cannons, 472 Laser Cannons, And 48 Quad Turbolaser Batteries. The Core Ship Contains 21 Quad Point Defense Batteries, 48 Assualt Laser Cannons, And 3 Turbolasers. Comes With Full Crew, 400k Battle Droids, 2000 Vulture Droids, 200 Trifighters, 4000 AATs, 500 MTTs, 50 C-9979 Landing Craft, 200 Octuptarra Tri-Droids, And Automatically Restocks Fuel And Ammunition Every Month. }

{Trial The Savior Of Remnant x1 (System)

Complete This Trial And Receive A Reward. Upon Failure To Complete The Trial A 24-Hour Cooldown Will Activate Before Another Attempt Can Be Made. Objectives Of This Trail Are As Followed.

1. Eradicate The Grimm Species Forever

2. Deal With Salem

3. Prevent The Brother Gods From Being Summoned Back To Remnant

Better Rewards Will Be Given Based On Score Upon Completion. Can Use Any Type Of Weapon/Power During The Trial. Summons Can Be Made In The Trial But They Cannot Enter Or Leave The Trial. No XP Will Be Gained From Kills But Kills Will Increase Score. Any Increase In Skills Are Carried Over.}

'Okay, I got far fewer summons this time. I also got a lot of questionable results. Like what am I supposed to do with the Harem No Jutsu or the Jelly Filled Donuts? Then there are the actually detrimental items in Aqua and Total Maniac. System can I sell the Aqua Summon to the store?'

[Ding]

[Yes The Host Can Sell The Aqua Summon For -100 System Points. ]

'Wait, I have to pay you to get rid of the summon?'

[Ding]

[Yes]

'Fair enough please get rid of the Aqua summon.'

Aqua: "Wait no I am not useless don't get rid of me! I can be very helpful! I am a Goddess, I can do cool stuff. Don't send me back to Scumzuma."

I can hear Aqua crying and it sounds like she is banging her head on the ground.

Rio: "System how is she talking to me?"

[Ding]

[Error Detected In Selling Aqua Summon. Resolving. Done.]

I stop hearing the useless Goddess and decide to move on as the less time I have to think about that useless person the better.

'The Lucrehulks are a great addition to my forces and the schematics for the Munificent is also quite helpful. The Batmobile is just a neat collectible I suppose. 2 Million is not much but I can use it for summons I guess. The Pip-Boy is something I can gift to a summon I guess as it is useless to me. I will give the Shield Tech to the scientists and see what they can make with it. I am curious what I can do with the Enchantment Table if it is just Minecraft enchantments then it is only decent but if it can place any enchantment on anything then I can use it. Background customizers are always helpful. The Spoon Of Prosperity is something not exactly sure what to use it for.'

I look at the trial and question if it can even be done in a short amount of time.

'The Trial doesn't mention a time limit so maybe I just get scored better the less time I take. Nahkriin is something I could use in combat if it doesn't prevent me from wearing my crown. I will give the Neuralyzer to the scientists to see if they can be replicated if not then I will just have to issue it out whenever we need it. I am glad I finally got a Necromancy spell as now we can use all the spare bodies for an army. Dragonrend is a fantastic result as now I am basically a bane to all dragons. The Mind Plate is really powerful and I suppose I can now make a normally weak summon a powerhouse. The ID Mask will need to be replicated if possible if not then I guess I can give it to someone if they need to do something stealthily.'

Now I move on to the summons and where I should place them.

'Epona, Xerneas, and The Dryad can all be summoned to Sanctuary. I can send the T-800 to Russia to protect Anastasia I can also have the science team try to replicate him. Blade Wolf can be introduced by the Techno Union as a prototype robot dog. I can then have him protect my mansion. I think I can gift the Blue-Eyes White Dragon to Seto as I imagine it would be the best early Christmas/Birthday present he could ever get. Now comes the harder-to-place summons. Marceline will likely just need a ring that protects her from Vampire weaknesses. I can then use her as a leader to whatever vampires I don't end up killing. Widowmaker can be sent to infiltrate and eliminate targets. There isn't much I can do with an assassin as I can do anything she can do but better. Though I suppose additional help never hurts. Now the trickiest summon, Lucy. She is loyal but most definitely going to need extensive therapy. I might hold off on summoning her for now. At least until I can get a therapist set up who can survive Lucy's Vectors if she gets upset. Maybe Lugia's Song could soothe her if she gets a little unstable.'

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Authors Note:

Another Gacha done and this time I guess Aqua cursed or blessed Rio as he got very few summons. At least in comparison to last time. If you have any suggestions for the next Gacha let me know. Until Next Time Ciao.