Chapter 51

The Next Morning, Outside a Training Field in Otogakure

Four people are standing outside of a closed door. Three of them won't enter it because of an emotion that they don't normally feel: fear. They're scared of what could happen to themselves should they confront the beast that's hidden himself inside. The fourth however is not afraid, rather than feeling fear he is scared. Not of the beast that's inside the room but for the beast.

Because the beast that's locked himself in a training field has a name. That name is Alvarcus.

"How long has this been going on?" Sasuke asks the Sound Three, not really caring who answers him.

A low rumble resonates outwards from the room, it's so impressive that the floor outside shakes because of it.

"It started late last night." Kidomaru hesitantly provides with both of his eyes locked onto the door. It's as if he's afraid that by merely speaking the beast within will lunge outward and attack. But the beast stays in his hole so Kidomaru continues. "The tremors were so strong that it shook my bed and woke me up. I'm a notoriously light sleeper."

"You mean that the one we just felt was a light tremor?" Sasuke asks for clarification as his concern for his friend skyrockets higher.

"Yes. I have no idea what he's doing in there but it's devastating." Sakon, the most composed of the Sound Three says once it becomes apparent that the other two won't speak. "At first I thought he might be practicing a new jutsu but it doesn't feel right. There seems to be a certain delay between each tremor. Even then sometimes there are no tremors. It has me... nervous. None of us have the bravery to go in there, we've never been this close to the door since it started. That's why we got you. Sasuke you're the only hope to calm him down."

"Testing seal configuration number three hundred forty seven." A faint voice makes its way through the door.

"EVERYONE DOWN!" Jirobo shouts as he dives for the ground.

The rest of the group collapse and protectively cover their heads. Each and every one of them brace for the incoming tremor. They stay down for a solid thirty seconds just waiting for the inevitable hit, but it never comes. There is no huge ground shaking tremor, there is no all encompassing explosion, there's not even a burst of fire.

"Well fuck me." The faint voice quietly comes through the door again. "Guess that means it's time to stop."

"He's coming out!" Kidomaru squeaks. "Do we flee? Do we wait? What do we do?!"

"Run! Definitely run!" Jirobo barks out in fear.

"Agreed!" Sakon, Kidomaru and Jirobo all leap to their feet with every intention of fleeing for their lives.

They don't make it a single step away before the door swings open to reveal the beast within.

"Oh. Hello everyone." Alvarcus calmly says as he steps out.

He's a mess. His clothes are dirty and torn. His entire face is covered in grime and his once shiny black hair is now a dull brownish black. None of that is truly abnormal, he's come back much worse from training before and had a smile on his face. There's something that's seriously wrong with him though.

His right arm is gone.

No, not gone. It's slowly reforming. Countless black threads are extending out of his shoulder and weaving themselves into his missing appendage. This is very bad, this means that not only did he lose a limb but it was annihilated. If it was simply cut or torn off then he'd just reattach it but he's reforming it.

"Who did this to you? Where's your arm? Alvarcus what happened?" Sasuke demands with anger and pain in his eyes. He wants Alvarcus to say someone else was in there. He wants his friend to admit that he struggled to barely best an opponent.

"In order of asked questions, me, not really sure but if I had to guess I'd say it's in the dead rabbit in there, and a novice trying to remake a seal that is way out of my league." Alvarcus monotonously responds to Sasuke.

"You idiot!" Sasuke storms up to Alvarcus and smacks him in the back of his head. "This is what happens when you overreach yourself! Seals malfunction in terrible and unpredictable ways when made incorrectly! That's what caused those insane tremors! That's what has the Sound Three so scared! That's exactly what caused you to lose your arm!"

"That's where you're wrong." Alvarcus brushes off Sasuke to start walking away. "You got the first two correct but not the third. I didn't lose my arm to a seal malfunction. I lost it to the seal succeeding, I made it work. It only took another journal from Orochimaru about an introduction to the basic of the basic theory behind time-space seals, a few weeks spent mulling the idea over, a sleepless night, being utterly livid, and three hundred forty seven attempts, but I made it work. I'm going to go clean up now. You'll probably want to use a different field."

Alvarcus walks away from the other four people.

"Holy shit." Kidomaru says from the doorway to the training field. "Come check this out."

Everyone else quickly moves over to him to see the carnage.

It's wrecked. There's the aftermath of various explosions strewn across the entire field, they left behind jagged and rough craters and scattered rubble everywhere. There's not a square meter of level terrain anymore, even the walls did not escape unscathed. They're cracked and fractured, there's countless indents from where rubble smashed against them and one of them is about to collapse. There's even a lot of suspiciously humanoid impressions on the stone walls.

But that's not the most impressive feature of the destruction, that award goes to the gigantic spherical crater in the center of the room. This crater wasn't caused by an explosion, it's too clean for that. It looks like someone hand carved a humongous bowl five meters in radius into the ground and sanded down all the rough spots. There's not one imperfection on it, it's completely round. And laying in the exact epicenter of the sphere is one innocent rabbit with a senbon sticking out of its chest.

"Alvarcus what the hell did you make?" Sasuke softly asks himself.

Ten Minutes Later

"Now this is a surprise." A smooth and haughty voice flows out of the only other person in the room with me.

Room is too generic of a descriptor, this is a hospital. There are various state of the art medical tools meticulously arranged along the walls, multiple gurneys with differing levels of blood on them and one arrogant prick enjoying this too much.

"Fuck off. You know I don't like you, I know you don't like me. The only reason I'm here is because if I don't do this now then Orochimaru-sama is going to force me here later. Now heal my damn arm Kabuto."

"That's not a very nice way of asking." Kabuto grins in some strange emotion. "I suppose if there was something in it for me then I would be more than willing."

"Sorry, did you not hear me say 'fuck off' followed by 'I don't like you?'" I extend my black limb to him. "Heal it."

"I will, but I expect payment. What I want is simple really, you see I never got to study it myself." Kabuto stares intently at my black arm while slowly moving towards me. No, towards my arm. He's practically salivating at it. "The Jiongu is just so fascinating! That's my price, you will let me at least study it. At best I ask for a piece."

I lower my arm and turn my back on Kabuto. I'm leaving, I refuse to play his games.

"Oh?" Kabuto smirks, he has a plan. He has something that he thinks he can hold over me. "Are you sure that leaving without healing your arm is a good idea? You know that Orochimaru-sama will just send you back here to me then nothing will have changed. I'm very confident that he might even order you to part with a piece and we wouldn't want to disappoint daddy dearest, now would we?"

"Kabuto," I throw him a glance over my shoulder. I'm wearing a pleasant smile, one that speaks of friendship and warmth, "I'm going to rip that jaw off someday."

Prison Complex

"Do you have any... fives?" One of the two guards asks the other.

"Damn! Take it you jackass." He shoves a single card from his hand to the first guard. "Do you have any..." The guard trails off and his eyes widen in fright and surprise.

"Fours." I supply the second guard with a number while looking over the first guard's shoulder to see his hand. "Ask if he has fours. Here's a hint, he's got three. Taking them will give you all four fours then they're your points."

The two guards stare at me in shock for a few reasons. One, I sneaked up on them. Two, I'm blatantly cheating for one of them. Three, I somehow know both guard's hands even though I can only see one of them. Four, I'm here without Orochimaru.

Both guards drop their cards onto the upside down box and leap up.

"A-A-A-Alvarcus-sama!" The first guard stutters out. "We had no idea you planned to visit today!"

"P-p-please let us know how we can be of service! Whatever you need!" The second guard is just as nervous as the first. "We'll be glad to help out any way we can!"

"First off," I state and both guards are raptly paying attention to me, "stop treating me like I'm some revered figure of great importance. Second off, you didn't see me and I didn't see you. Thirdly, and this is the most important one so pay attention."

I dramatically lean forwards and both guards follow suit.

"You both really need to find a better way to pass the time. Go fish? Really? What are you five years old? Play chess or something, at least that is moderately challenging."

"YES SIR!" The first guard shouts.

"RIGHT AWAY SIR!" The second guard yells just as loud as the first. Then he looks confused. "Wait what?"

"If you're going to slack off then at least do something that you can play off as being productive if you get caught." I point at the cards. "Go fish? That's a game meant for kids. But chess? If someone catches you playing that you can spew out that it helps create a more battle ready mind or some other bullshit excuse. See how much better that sounds?"

"You're... not mad at us for slacking?" The first guard tentatively asks.

"What? No, why the fuck would I care?" I scoff out. "The prisoners are behind like three sets of doors. Alarms will blare if they get past one of them, that's plenty of time for you to react. I wouldn't care if you were sleeping as long as you were here to fix any problems that come up."

"Huh." The second guard eloquently says. "Then... if you don't mind me asking... why are you here?"

"Nothing that you need to worry about." I walk past them to enter the Complex. "It definitely doesn't have anything to do with me disliking Kabuto so much that I'm willing to go see if any of the prisoners know medical jutsu just to avoid him and his stupid face. He's the only person on staff here that can fix what I broke and well... frankly we both hate each other. Like I said nothing for you to worry about."

"Uh... sure? Go on in then." The second guard waves me in.

I confidently walk to the center of the large circular room. The only sound in the vast expanse is the sound of my steps. Not a single prisoner is making a noise. All of them remember what happened the last time I was here. They remember what I promised. They're scared of me.

"Alright you poor unfortunate souls, I've got an offer for you." I say with a raised voice to the deathly quiet room. "You see I'm in a bit of a tight spot so I'm here to make a deal. If there is someone here who is capable of healing a purely aesthetic injury that I have then the next time I come down here they will be spared from me."

Silence follows my offer.

"What's... astet... atheti... ashet..." One of the more simple prisoners asks. Or tries to at least.

"Okay, simple version." I sigh before resuming to yell to my captive audience. Literally. "You heal me, I won't kill you when I come back next."

The complex explodes into a sound garden. Each prisoner who knows even a scrap of medical jutsu is shouting for me to pick them.

"Oh and I should add on that if you fail, you die. I'm not here to waste time."

The noise dies down quickly.

"I can do it." One person call out. "I'll fix you."

"Fantastic!" I stroll over to him. "No funny business and you get to live a longer life."

"Of course. Perhaps you could even steer Orochimaru away from me?"

"Don't push it." My eyes narrow and my hostility spikes. "You've already earned a pass from me, that will suffice for now."

"I overstepped my place, forgive me."

"Get my skin back and I will." I demand and he does just that.

"Yay!" I cheer to myself. "Now I don't have to see that fuck face Kabuto!"

"You mean all of that was to avoid someone you dislike?"

"Yep!" I skip out of the Complex, past the two guards and back towards my room.

"What..." The first guard says.

"... the fuck?" The second guard finishes.

Alvarcus's Room

"Ah messing with people is so entertaining." I happily say to myself. "I needed that. Something amusing to do. When was the last time I actually had fun? Uh... huh. When was it? Some time during the Chunin Exams? Tayuya made things interesting but... well that's stained a different color now. I wouldn't exactly call anything else during that fun. Except maybe the part where I played with Temari. No, that was just something to do. Sure I enjoyed it but I wouldn't call it fun. Hell the last time I had actual fun was probably when the Rookie Nine took on the ANBU. Now that was fun! It's a shame we can't do that again."

"You and I remember that day very differently. Tsunade was scary. She threw me across the entire park." Sasuke interjects from my doorway. He's leaning on the frame while inspecting one of his numerous kunai. "Got some time to chat?"

"Sure, why not. Not like I was going to do anything important." I wave him into my room.

Sasuke sheaths his kunai and confidently walks into my room. As usual for him, for any shinobi really, he takes a quick inventory of every item, possible exits and hiding spots. Then his eyes lock onto a specific piece of furniture. It's one that is relatively new to my room, one that he's never seen in here before.

"You actually brought the couch with you." Sasuke sigh in resignation. "Honestly I don't know why I'm surprised by that, of course you would bring it with you. Sometimes I swear you have no common sense."

"I have plenty of common sense! I just tend to ignore it sometimes, like when I find a nice piece of furniture I want. I'm keeping a lookout for an armchair next so let me know if you see a good one."

"Fine." Sasuke plops down onto the couch. "Well... I was going to ask you what the hell was going on this morning but you seem to be out of your funk already."

"Oh. Yeah. That." I cringe. "Not my best moment."

"What was all that about anyways?" Sasuke asks as he kicks his feet up onto my couch.

"OI! Feet down!" I bark at him and he rolls his eyes at me. He still moved his dirty feet down so it's my win. "I needed to vent some anger. The last few times I had to do that I went over to the Nest but I need to stop trashing my Summon's home. Luckily for me I channeled it into something productive. Absolutely mind-bogglingly stupid and potentially life threatening, yet productive."

"So... you're good now?" Sasuke tentatively asks. "Because if you're not you can always talk to me. Or shout, or spar against or whatever floats your boat at the time."

"Even if it's helping me prank the Sound Three?" I ask with hope in my eyes. He's never joined me in a prank before. He has no idea what he's missing, plus that opens a whole new slew of pranks! He can cast genjutsu!

"Sure?" He weakly agrees to help my devious plots. Then his eyes widen a fraction, so little that anyone who doesn't truly know him would never notice. "As long as you spare me."

"Agreed!" Oh this changes everything! I bet I can top the three hundred rubber ducks now!

"What set you off anyways?" Sasuke yanks me out of my delusions of crazy and crazier pranks.

"Oh. Yeah. That." How can I possibly answer that?

"You're stalling." Sasuke blandly points out. "Don't bother to try and change the topic, I know how you work."

Arrogant prick, I hate it when he's right. One of these days I'll wipe that smirk off his face.

"Shirokumo accidentally made me realize a few things about myself that I'd rather have never discovered." There, it's the truth but it's vague enough that he'll never know exactly what I'm referencing. "I've changed since we've left Konoha. I've changed a lot. Some of it's good, most of it's bad. Basically my moral compass is getting fuck up. My sense of what is acceptable is warping."

"No shit." Sasuke snorts at me. "You're too comfortable with taking damage, even severe damage. Honestly I'm surprised you haven't accidentally killed anyone yet. To you massive wounds are nothing, in return you'll feel less hesitant to inflict them on someone else. And why not, if you can take it then why can't they?"

Oh. I've never made that connection before. Hold on, does that mean that I did break some of Ino's ribs back during the second exam? I overheard her talking to Hinata and she mentioned that she might have broken ribs, it's entirely possible. The only other people I fought besides Orochimaru since leaving are the Root shinobi who I slaughtered and didn't care if I hurt them, Temari who I never actually touched, Lee who takes hits from Gai so even if I did hit harder than normal he'd shrug it off, Hiro who I used the daggers on, and Leiko who surrendered before I could do anything. Then there was the fight after the Exams where I hit Lee again but used ninjutsu against everyone else.

So he could be right. I truly might not be pulling my punches enough. To me it might feel like a feather but to someone else it could feel like a brick. I'll have to test that against the next person I fight. My holding back could still be too strong. What a ridiculous idea!

"Not to mention the whole masochist thing. I'm all for getting inside your opponent's head to mess with them but you do it in such strange ways. Like seriously you could have played like you were immortal or something to fuck with her, honestly I thought that was what you were going to do. Instead you... did whatever the hell that was."

"It worked didn't it?" Why does everyone care so much about that? It was a one time thing!

"Alvarcus you're not-"

"Stop right there." I cut him off and pin him in a glare. "We've already been over this. I'm not. I'm just accustom to pain so I use it to my advantage, that does not mean I am a masochist. If anything I'm a sadist, I fantasize about brutally murdering so many people it's unhealthy. Oh shit was that out loud? So how about a new topic? Yeah let's move on and forget that ever happened."

"I picked the weirdest friend to ever have. Seriously, what does that say about me?" Sasuke mumbles to himself. "Fine, new topic then. I've got a question for you."

"If it's 'are you a masochist' I will hurt you." I threaten and I mean every damn word of it.

"No it's not." Sasuke rolls his eyes. "I want to know what you did to the training field to damage it like that."

"Oh that's easy. It was a lot of seal malfunctions of varying intensities. Anywhere from a small bang up to explosions with enough force to throw me into a wall and leave behind a dent." Whew. I thought he was going to ask another question that I'd rather avoid answering at all costs.

"Yeah I figured that out just by looking at it. You had to go through a lot of seals to make that big of a mess. I meant the big crater in the middle."

"The smooth one?" I ask for clarification. "About... five ish meters in radius?"

"Yeah that one. What made that? You weren't testing a new explosive seal it's too clean for that." Sasuke is looking at me intently. "More importantly can you teach me?"

"I suppose I could teach you it, but Orochimaru would be much better suited for it. But do we really want to overlap our skills like that? We're both highly specialized in things the other isn't. Look at me, I'm a walking ninjutsu cannon. I'm a juggernaut that is insanely hard to put out of a fight. I'm basically pure overwhelming force personified and the type of seals I'm focusing on will only increase that. While you are a genjutsu expert, even now there are few shinobi who can equal you. You're kenjutsu is great, you're skills with all of the basic shinobi tools is simply ridiculous and your stealth is phenomenal. That makes you a perfect assassin, you can blend into the shadows with ease and use your fancy eyes to spot traps so easy it's like they have a sign pointing at them. I suppose seals could help you with that, but they're not the seals I'm working with. Maybe a sound dampening seal or something?"

"You think I'd make a good assassin?" Sasuke asks. He's thinking of a few various scenarios, running ideas through his head.

"Hell yeah I do. I think it's what the Uchiha should have specialized in." My words pull Sasuke out of his thoughts and he looks at me with a look on his face. It's a look saying I'm an idiot. "Fine, I'll explain. I do acknowledge that the Sharingan is fantastic in its ability to copy ninjutsu and would no doubt help make an impressive ninjutsu library given enough time, but the inherent ability of the Sharingan could be called heightened awareness. Simply put you see more, better, than everyone else. The Uchiha would make excellent infiltration and assassin type shinobi because it would be child's play for them to copy someone's mannerisms. After staking out a target for sufficient time you would have no trouble replacing them and your act would be nearly flawless. You could blend in so easily. Then there's the whole enhanced vision thing, finding traps and other oddities must be a joke to you. That could let you get around most defenses that would be in place to protect a potential assassination target. Sure it's not as impressive as being able to spit copious amounts of fire, but you could be feared because no one can see you coming until their blood is spilling out of their necks."

"Interesting. I've never considered that." Sasuke admits.

"Yeah, most of the famous Uchiha were known for their ninjutsu or being untouchable in combat. It's only natural to try and take after them but it takes time and countless battles to truly gain that notoriety. But the moment the Sharingan is awakened you can copy things so why not play to that? Honestly I'm pretty sure that's how Itachi got so feared. Not because of his impressive taijutsu skills, not because of his ninjutsu, but simply because you only see him if he wants you to. Sure he's still insanely skilled in both taijutsu and ninjutsu but his combination of stealth and genjutsu is what made him feared. How do you kill what you don't know is there?"

"I... that makes a surprising amount of sense." Sasuke is analyzing his brother in a whole new light. Then he shakes his head and turns back to me. "Thanks for the ideas, but you never did answer me."

"Oh. Yeah I didn't. What was the question again?" Whoops. I got just a tiny bit distracted.

"What made that crater? Hell I don't know if crater is the right word for it." Sasuke repeats the question.

"A seal that I honestly should not have even attempted to make. My anger kinda maybe sorta clouded my judgment a tad and I ignored my common sense." Mental note: Do not make new seals when pissed off. That's a really bad idea.

"A seal did that? What do you plan to use that one for? And what was up with the rabbit?" Sasuke is very interested in this seal and I don't blame him. It's impressive. It's also something I've ripped off of what I've seen before, this isn't original it's a remake. I've stolen it from someone that I despise, from someone almost at the top of my people to kill list.

"Yes a seal did that, I plan to use it to attempt to cover up one of my weaknesses, and the rabbit served as the trigger." I answer each question he asked in order. Efficiency at it's finest.

"What weakness?" Sasuke asks. "You barely have any and you want to cover one?"

"No shit I want to cover it! What kind of a shinobi would I be if I didn't try to eliminate every weakness I can? Anyways I'm talking about my hearts."

"You're hearts? How are they a weakness?"

"They're my weakest point. Once I'm out of hearts I'm dead so I'm going to give as much incentive as possible to not destroy my hearts to my enemies. Hence the rabbit being the trigger."

"Yeah I'm not following here."

"Okay. So basically that seal I used is rigged to go off once something dies, I tweaked it a bit to specifically go off when a heart stops beating since I want as little risks to me with it as possible. Hence the dead rabbit. In reality there were... a lot of rabbits. I may have blown a few of them up on accident. I know I'm a monster, they were so cute and everything!"

"Oi. Back on topic." Sasuke scolds me.

"Fine, fine." I'm so sorry rabbits, but you served a good purpose. "I'm going to put that seal on each of my hearts. That way when they're destroyed, or when they stop beating..."

"The seal activates. Dude. That's fucked up. I like it!" Sasuke shares a devious grin with me. "Wait, what if they kill it when it's in your chest? That would be bad."

"Yeah it would, that's why the seal isn't ready yet." It's such a shame. I wanted to make this work as soon as possible. "I need to add in a few more levels to the trigger. A few conditions that have to be met for it to go off. First is obviously the heart stops beating, the second is being a set distance away from everyone and everything I consider important. Not really sure how to do the second one though. I have a few ideas, like making a beacon of sorts and make it need to be far enough away from all of them to go off. That's probably what I'll end up doing but I have no idea how to make one. Which is really ironic since the beacon should be easier to make than this seal, I went backwards. I started with the hard part first."

"You're taking the seal stuff very seriously." Sasuke points out. "The only thing I've seen you pick up quicker was chakra strings."

"I know right?" It's all thanks to Orochimaru. His journals have been invaluable. It's amazing what a good teacher will do, even if it's just an expertly crafted book.

"Still, have fun testing the beacon idea. There's going to be a lot of those unique craters in the future."

"Nah I shouldn't need to worry about that. I can key the beacon to something simple first, like two tiny explosive tags until I get it down. Then I can move on to testing it with this seal. I'm not that stupid, thank you very much!"

"This coming from the guy who was missing an arm earlier today?"

"Okay so maybe I can be that stupid at times. It's fixed now though!"

Sasuke and I waste the rest of the day away talking about meaningless things. There is no Orochimaru, there's no Otogakure, there's no Bingo Book rankings, there's no Itachi, there's no insane and complicated future plans. It's just two friends hanging out, simply enjoying each others company.

That Night, After Sasuke Left

"That was fun." I say to myself the second the door swings shut behind Sasuke. "I truly enjoyed myself. It was nice to escape from all the shit in my life even if it was only for a couple hours. We need to just hang out more often, we're both stressed out. Me way more than him though."

I happily walk back over to the couch but with every step my happiness fades. After one step my smile dulls a little. After three my shoulders sag downwards as if a massive weight has settled on them. After five the happy smile is completely gone. Once I'm sitting on my couch there's not a trace of the happiness I just felt, it's all gone.

Right now I'm not the happy kid that doesn't have a care in the world. I'm no longer able to laugh at stupid jokes and poor attempts of acting. Now I'm a shinobi that's deep in enemy territory, a shinobi with an impossible task, a lone shinobi with almost zero chance of succeeding.

But if my plan works then I will have bested those crazily low odds, if it works then I will no longer have an impossible task. All I have to do is see if the trapdoor spiders are finished with the tunnels yet then have them move onto the next step.

"Summoning Jutsu!" I lazily plonk my hand down next to me on the couch cushion. I'm not getting up to summon Shirokumo to the ground. Half the time he hurries up to his web anyways.

"Alvarcus!" Shirokumo shouts out the second he's here, he didn't even wait for the small smoke cloud to dissipate.

"Wow. You hardly ever call me Alvarcus anymore, usually it's just Al. Or Summoner. Or dumbass. Let the record show that the last one is my least favorite." I wonder what has him so energetic.

"Good you're already sitting, don't get up." Shirokumo climbs up the arm of the couch to be closer to my height.

"What?" I eloquently blurt out. "Why do I need to be sitting? Last time you said that you gave me some really shitty news. Shitty doesn't cover it, it's not strong enough. Oh fuck what's wrong now?"

Shirokumo takes a deep breath to steady himself. "I went and talked with Kakashi."

My world stops. All sound, all light, all everything halts in this one instant. Even time stops its never ending march. He went to Kakashi. After that conversation, no after I spilled my guts out to him. After I poured out my heart he went at talked to Kakashi. How could he? What could possess him to do something that could hurt me so much? Why would Shirokumo do this to me? I don't want to know Kakashi's answer. I don't want to know how he feels. I can't know, it might break me.

But Shirokumo went anyways.

"H... how?" I force the singular word out. It took every iota of willpower I have to shakily utter one measly word.

"I'll tell you..."

Flashback, Kakashi and Shirokumo's Confrontation

"So, how about it?" Shirokumo asks the shinobi before him. "Will you write your student a letter? Do you hate him or do you have faith in him still? Kakashi, how do you feel about Alvarcus now?"

"You want to know how I feel about him?" Kakashi steps out of the closet. "YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT HIM!? I'LL TELL YOU HOW I FEEL ABOUT HIM!"

Kakashi's face, even though it's covered by his faithful mask, is twisted and contorted in rage and anger. This is not how Shirokumo hoped this conversation would go.

"Alvarcus tries to constantly do too much! He always without fail tries to shoulder more than his share of the burden! It all started back when he had his first kill, something clicked. He realized that he doesn't want anyone else to go through what he did, he's trying to protect everyone by doing everything alone. In the first Chunin Exams he lead his team through everything, hell he was the one that spent the most time battling against Orochimaru so his team had a better chance at living. Then the invasion? All those terrible things happened but he still went on to stop Gaara despite all of them. After that he helped Sasuke go against two S-rank shinobi! He knowingly went with him, he knew exactly what he was getting into but he didn't ask anyone for help! And then he brings back Tsunade of all people to be the Hokage and heal me and Sasuke? That kid never asks for help. Alvarcus sees a problem then conquers it himself."

"Now on to his stupid stunts during the Chunin Exams! What kind of shinobi, no matter how good their defense, casually let's someone attack him? I mean come on! He could have dodged everything that was thrown at him and I'm not talking about just Leiko. I know Alvarcus, I know what he's capable of before he left and I'm sure he's only improved his skills since then. If he wanted to he could have ended the fight with Lee in moments. He knew Lee gets stronger with each Gate opens but he let him open five! Seriously? I taught him better than that!"

"He's spying on fucking Orochimaru of all people! One of the few S-rank threats to Konoha and Alvarcus thought 'hey, I've fought against the other one so let's go spy on this one! That'll be fun!' Then he has the balls to – to take his friends and use them as a bargaining chip? What the fuck!"

"Alvarcus is stupid! He's arrogant and he doesn't pause to consider how his actions will effect those who are not immediately around him! Look at him now, masquerading as Orochimaru's prized child. Did he not pause to think how that would impact everyone here? Did he not take a moment to consider that what he's done, what he did, could turn everyone against him?"

"So do you really want to know how I feel about him?" Kakashi roars at the small white spider. "He's the best student I could have ever asked for."

"Uh... what?" Shirokumo says in shock. "But all those things? You built it up like you hate him now."

"You're right. Every single thing I've pointed out is a point against him, but to me that doesn't matter. There's a reason behind all of those actions, a single lesson that I tried to teach all of my gennin. It is the most important thing I could teach, if out of everything I taught them they only got one thing out of it, I would hope it was this lesson. Only he learned it."

"That lesson is this: Those who break the rules trash, but those who abandon their comrades are worse than trash. Alvarcus took that one lesson to heart. He's become the embodiment of that singular lesson. He does everything in his power to help protect and shield those he cares about from harm."

"The reason he doesn't ask for help isn't out of some misguided need to do everything alone, it's so that no one else has to get hurt. The reason he holds back is so that others don't get hurt. The reason he went to Otogakure was to protect his best friend and his home from their biggest threat. He doesn't ever think of himself first, he's always second. Honestly I think he learned the lesson a little too well."

"All of his failures don't reflect back negatively on him alone, they also reflect on me. Each action of his, good or bad, can be traced back to how he was taught. Back to who taught him, back to me. It's not just on him, I helped create and shape his mind. I helped him, molded him into a shinobi that utilized unorthodox methods to win. Sure I never sat him down and taught like a teacher but Alvarcus is a visual learner. He watched me, someone who is famous for his outlandishly strange yet insanely successful tactics, and he learned from me. He saw that using a new method, one that no one else could possibly think of, is a viable way to win. Sure our respective styles don't line up at all, I focus on tricking the opponent while he focuses on driving them mad but it works."

"I could never hate him. Alvarcus is my favorite student, even to this day. Ask me again in a month and the answer will be the same. Ask again in a year, a decade, a lifetime and my answer will always be that I could never hate him."

"Alvarcus would love to hear that from you." Shirokumo says happily. "Could you write him a letter? It doesn't have to be all of that, but please? Alvarcus is... he's not the same anymore. You've seen him, he's changed. He knows it too and it's breaking him. So please? Write to him."

"I can't." Kakashi says. "The Hokage herself has specifically forbidden me from writing to him, she is very insistent on cutting him off from Konoha. She's taken him holding the other gennin hostage very harshly. At first I thought it was strange but then I realized something. Tsunade started to see him as more than just a shinobi, she started to see him as a nephew."

"Don't you mean grandchild?" Shirokumo smirks. "News flash: She's old."

"Nope, definitely meant nephew. There's no way I'd risk her hearing me call her the 'o' word, even indirectly." Kakashi trembles in fear. "Anyways, she took his leaving hard. She's lost a long list of people, and on the day Alvarcus left it grew longer. Then he was back, sort of, and she was so happy. But his actions sealed the deal, she's disappointed in him. Severely. This is his punishment."

"That's nice and all, but why won't you write to him?" Shirokumo asks again. "Kakashi he needs something, anything! Even if it's something as simple as 'I don't hate you!' That's all I'm asking for!"

"I can't, orders of the Hokage." Kakashi smirks. "But she can't order you around, can she?"

"I'm not following." Shirokumo is slightly confused. He can't figure out what Kakashi's angle is.

"She holds no sway over you, none at all. So what is stopping you from telling Alvarcus all about this conversation? I can't write to him, but you can talk to him in my place. Tell him what we talked about, tell him everything I said. The good, the bad, everything. Leave nothing out."

"Ha! I like it!" Shirokumo chortles to himself. "That's great!"

"It'll only work the once." Kakashi sadly says. "I have to report that you were here, I can spin this as me trying to lull you into a false sense of security so I can CHIDORI!"

Kakashi's hand glows blue with electricity as he lunges at the spider. His attack is so strong that it blasts right through the floor of his apartment, leaving behind a fist sized hole to the room beneath.

Shirokumo was long gone before the attack even got close to him.

"There." Kakashi dusts himself off as he prepares to leave for the Hokage's Tower. "I kept my honor to my Kage and my student."

"He said all of that?" I shakily ask again. "He doesn't hate me? Even with everything I've done?"

"He never could." Shirokumo gladly clarifies. "He cares about you too much."

"Thank you for doing this Shirokumo. Really. I feel so much better knowing that." I'm not lying. The only reason I didn't want to know is because I knew how much it would crush me to hear that he hates me. I knew that should he say those words, I couldn't take it. It wasn't worth the risk to me.

"Think nothing of it. It's the job of the Summons to look out for their Summoner, just like how it's the Summoner's job to look out for the Summons. It's a two way street."

"Thank you. Again." I softly say, then my voice's tone changes. It's not soft and thankful, it's harsh and gravelly. "Don't do something this important without consulting me first. It worked out this time, but we can't know for sure about the next time."

"Yeah no." Shirokumo waves me off with a pair of legs. "You come first to me. If I can do something to help you then I'm going to do it whether you want it to happen or not."

"Dammit." I heave out a huge sigh. I'm not winning this argument. "Can't blame me for trying?"

"Sure I can! Now go sleep. You look like hell. Did you sleep at all last night?"

"Nope. I was up all night working on something ridiculous."

"Typical." He vanishes in a cloud of smoke.

The Next Day

"Alvarcus." Orochimaru heaves out a long and loud sigh.

"Yes, Orochimaru-sama?" I innocently respond. It's time to play the ignorant fool.

"What happened to my training field?" Orochimaru asks as he lifts his gaze up from me to stare out at the trashed field. We're at the one where I went a little bit seal crazy. In other words: it's broken beyond normal repair. There are craters of every sized, cracks along the walls from various projectiles – which was me a few times – and a whole lot of destruction.

"Well I if I had to guess, I would say that someone took to their training a little bit too enthusiastically." I offer up an innocent shrug with a happy smile. "I wonder who it was."

"Yes." Orochimaru levels a skeptical look at me. "Who ever could it be? Perhaps one of the only three people here that can cause such widespread destruction? That narrows it down to myself, Sasuke and you."

"Really? Just us? Couldn't Jirobo do this too? He's pretty strong in his own right." I ask in an attempt to throw off Orochimaru.

"You're correct of course, but Jirobo would need to go to the second level of my Curse Seal and then he'd require medical attention for keeping it active long enough and abusing it past it's intended limits to cause all of this. Since I know he wasn't in the medical ward recently I can effectively rule him out. Hence, the three I listed earlier."

"What about... wow. I don't really know that many people here." It seems that Orochimaru has done a good job of keeping Sasuke and me hidden. Although I have traumatized some guards recently.

"Yes. And I know that I did not do this, I have much more important things to do than trashing one of my own training fields. On to Sasuke next, while he is capable of this it is not his style. He would have to push himself far, much farther than he usually does, to cause such widespread damage. That leaves..."

Orochimaru pins me in a yellow stare.

"Me?" I say in obviously faked shock. "I would never! Well unless I was pretty mad and decided to channel that anger effectively and work to improve myself by covering up one of my glaring weaknesses by trying to recreate a seal that's way out of my league and that is something I would never do unless I wasn't in sound mind and sound body."

Orochimaru heaves out another long and loud sigh.

"What am I going to do with you?" He mutters to himself. "Just fix it. It'll be a good lesson for you. Instead of focusing on wild and uncontrolled -"

"Hey this was totally controlled!"

"- destruction you can create. It'll take focus and care. Consider it today's lesson."

"Come on! Can't you make one of your minions do it for me? I have better things to do!" I whine. Hey, he calls me his child so I'm going to act like one every once in a while. "I've barely scratched the surface of time-space seals and I'm pretty sure that I'll need to base the sword off of them to make it work correctly! Well more of space than time, I'm trying to seal away countless people. I can't have a limit on how many I can seal so I've got to tweak and mess around with space a bit. So I made a seal that deals with a large emphasis on space. Oops. Uh... forget I said that?"

"You tried to recreate a time-space seal without my supervision?" Orochimaru hisses out in anger. "ANSWER ME!"

"No." I meekly squeak. "I didn't try."

"Don't you dare lie to me!"

"I succeeded."

"I will not lose you to a seal malfunction – come again?" Orochimaru's voice does a complete 180 degree turn from livid to surprise. "You... succeeded?"

"Well yeah." I cower before the enraged Sannin. "That crater that looks perfectly spherical is the result of a success. It's why I stopped. The sad thing is I'm still not done with it, it's just a piece of a side project I'm working on."

"You continue to surpass my expectations for you!" Orochimaru let's out a hearty laugh. "Kukukuku, a time-space seal already! You are just wonderful!"

"Uh... thanks?" I think it's okay now?

"But Alvarcus." Orochimaru pulls himself out of his happy chuckles. "Never mess with time-space seals on this scale again. They're one branch of sealing that even you can be defeated by. They may not kill you outright, but being permanently sealed into another dimension is as close as you can get. I will not lose you to something so idiotic as you biting off more than you're ready for."

"I will. Besides, in less than a week I'll be able to focus more on the Sword of Totsuka. Right now I'm stuck with just working on seals and everything else I already know."

"Indeed. Looking forward to getting a laboratory to yourself?" Orochimaru genuinely asks.

"I am. I can't wait to start working on the sword. I'm going to need every damn second I can get. Plus I have no idea what materials will work, how to fashion them together or even what the sealing process will be! It's going to suck yet be awesome at the same time!"

"Ah the eagerness of youth. I remember when I first took on an impossible task, I attacked it with as much ferocity as you are. Even now you're working on it by furthering yourself in fuinjutsu. Everything you do has a purpose, it serves an end goal, doesn't it?"

"It does." I smirk to myself. He has no idea.

This sword isn't necessary until years down the road of life. I'm making it for one purpose only, to seal away the Edo Tensi army that will oppose the Allied Shinobi Forces. There's no other reason for it, every other thing that could happen it's unnecessary for. Even if it's the most complicated piece of fuinjutsu I'll ever make, in the end that doesn't matter. I simply need a way to quickly and surely seal away multiple people.

I could just make a bunch of binding seals or something like the Suna Sealing Corps did in cannon, but they're too easy to remove. All it takes is one Edo Tensi to survive and pull off the seal. But if they're sealed away in my own weapon, my sword, then there is no chance that they'll get free.

Unless they kill me, take the sword, and somehow figure out how to release the seal. But I would have bigger problems than them being unsealed, namely I'd be dead again. Which I don't plan on doing.

"You won't have to wait for much longer." Orochimaru promises. "I just have to wrap up a few things here, eliminate a couple loose threads and maybe prep some of the more rowdy prisoners for transfer. Only five more days then we leave for the next base."

"I can't wait! I need to go start packing, so if you'll excuse me I'll just be on my way." I start to sneakily tip toe past Orochimaru for the door.

"Alvarcus, fix the field first."

"Dammit."

Later That Night

"Summoning Jutsu!" I slam my hand to the ground.

Nothing happens.

"That's weird. Where's the smoke? Better yet where's Shirokumo?"

"Uh... Al?" His voice calls out from above me. "You summoned me a while ago to check up on the tunnel's progress."

"So I did." Whoops, totally forgot he was here. I summoned him, he said they were done then asked to just chill here for a while. I think Arachne is still trying to douse him with peanut butter for some ungodly reason.

"You forgot I was here." He correctly accuses me.

"No! Maybe a little?" Eh whatever, not like it really matters. "So buddy an idea just occurred to me."

"Do go on. I'm simply captivated by you." Shirokumo sarcastically says as he slowly repels down from his web to hang level with my head. "You have the most wondrous ideas."

"I can't send Tsunade any information anymore. I can't use Kakashi as a middle man because she'll know it's me if Kakashi randomly finds a contact in Otogakure."

"Yes, we've been over all of this before. Please say something smart next."

"Cut the sass! Anyways, I just need to find someone that Tsunade will implicitly trust. Someone that she already knows is investigating the same groups as me. Someone that already has already told her that they're trying to find a leak of information. I think I know just the guy!"

"Really?" Shirokumo excitedly says. "You think that you've found a way to help Konoha beat Oto? You've found someone to supply Orochimaru's secrets to?"

"Well... not Orochimaru's secrets. I don't think this person is investing much resources in Orochimaru anymore, especially since until recently I've been doing that just fine. No, this man is devoting most of his time and skill to finding things about a group that's much more threatening than Orochimaru. He's after the Akatsuki."

"So you can't sell out Orochimaru to him but you can sell out the Akatsuki." Shirokumo clarifies. "Just who is this guy?"

"Bwahahaha!" A gallant man boisterously laughs as two very attractive ladies hang off each of his arms. A third lady is pouring a very expensive alcohol into his glass before handing it to him. "This is the life!"

"No, this is a waste of time." A man, no a child, scoffs at his sensei. This child is obviously in love with a specific color: orange. "I could be training right now. I could be sleeping right now. I could be doing literally anything else right now. But no, I'm here watching this happen."

"Aww, he's just so cute!" One of the ladies, the one who poured the drink, drapes herself over Naruto. "Say, if you're really that bored you and I could go do something more... eventful. Who knows, you might get a work out in today after all."

"Sorry lady but you're not my type." Naruto blandly rejects her with the ease of someone who has done this scores of times before.

"Why? Are you more into blondes like yourself? Am I not pretty enough?" She pouts while crossing her arms to accentuate her chest.

"You're trying to guilt me into buying you for the night. No thank you." Naruto says.

"Leave the brat alone, he's off limits." Jiraya cuts in. He's experiencing a moment of clarity. "Give him a few years then he'll be more than willing! Besides there's more than enough of me to go around!"

And like that the moment of clarity is gone, never to be seen again.

"Yeah there's so much of you to go around that we've stopped at every brothel on our way back to Konoha. Why are we going back there again? I thought I was supposed to be away for years. It's not even been one yet."

"Because I have to go do something incredibly dangerous for a fleeting chance at a ridiculously small reward." Jiraya says while staring blatantly at the swaying hips of another lady sashaying by the open door to the private room.

"Oh Jiraya-sama, you're such a brave man!" One of the ladies chants.

"Yeah because it's 'too dangerous for me.' One of these days you'll see I can take care of myself." Naruto mumbles. "Kami I wish something interesting would happen."

"Speak of the devil and he shall appear." A scratchy voice says from the window sill. "Jiraya-sama, may I have a – "

"AAAAHH! SPIDER! GIANT SPIDER! GETAWAYGETAWAYGETAWAY!" All three of the ladies scream in fright as they climb over each other to get to the exit.

Two kunai wiz through the air, one thrown from each shinobi.

The large white spider drops back out of the window as both kunai embed themselves where he was moments ago.

"Not cool!" Shirokumo calls from outside. "I just want to talk! Why does everyone try to kill me the first time we meet? Why can't I find a person that offers me a cookie or something nice for a change!"

Both shinobi take this chance to fall into battle ready stances. Jiraya is facing the obvious threat, the window, while Naruto is holding the last sign for a jutsu to assault anyone who comes in through the door.

"Where's your Summoner?" Jiraya demands as his battle hardened eyes dart around the room again, checking over and over for something, anything, that could be a trap that he missed before. "Why are you here? How did you know where to find me?"

"You're not going to believe me." Shirokumo says from outside. "Can I come in or will I be filled with various pointy and sharp objects?"

"Tell me where your Summoner is then maybe." Jiraya demands with all the authority of his titles.

"Well... I did say you won't believe me but here goes nothing. Otogakure." Shirokumo clearly states, he's waiting for someone to call his words bullshit.

"Aren't Sasuke and Alvarcus there?" Naruto whispers, more to himself than Jiraya.

Jiraya barely even registers Naruto's words. "Orochimaru sent you? What's his ingenious plan? To ask me to fix his arms since Tsunade was a bust? Tell him to cut off the damn things, then maybe they'll grow back whole!"

"I knew this was a bad idea." Shirokumo mutters. "Orochimaru didn't send me, I owe that creature no allegiances! He's a blight on humanity, no the world as a whole, that needs to be removed. That vile snake holds no sway over me."

"Bullshit!" Jiraya shouts. "He might hold no influence over you but he probably has his fangs sunk deep into your Summoner!"

"Oh you have no idea how correct you are, Toad Sage. Orochimaru has been trying to sink his repulsive fangs into my Summoner for years, back since he first discovered him. Orochimaru wants nothing more than to corrupt and turn my Summoner into his own pawn. The best part is my Summoner knows this and he's using it against the Snake Sannin for his own purposes and to be closer to him to make spying easier. For some absurd reason Orochimaru trusts my Summoner, maybe even more than anyone else."

"Hold up." Naruto cuts in. "Didn't Tsunade tell us that she had a spy in Otogakure? Yeah she did, his code name was Spider."

"Ah yes, that's what he went by." Shirokumo adds. "It's rather fitting, certainly made me smile the first time I heard that one."

Jiraya pauses for a moment, weighing countless pros and cons. He needs one more piece of information before he will act. "What is your Summoner's name?"

Shirokumo climbs over the ledge of the window to proudly look at the two shinobi. "My Summoner has done more for his home than anyone else in his generation. He's a shinobi who values his home above almost everything else, to the point that he's willingly abandoned it and has been cast out as a traitor and a missing nin. Even now, while deep in the hell that is Otogakure, he constantly is trying to find new ways to protect his home."

"His name." Jiraya narrows his eyes. "What is his name?"

"Does it matter?" Shirokumo shrugs.

"Of course it does!" Jiraya shouts.

"Not when I'm offering information on the Akatsuki." Shirokumo smirks as both Jiraya's and Naruto's jaws drop. "Yes, the group that's going after the bijuu. The one that has Konoha so scared that she sent away their jinchuriki with one of her Sannin. The one that Itachi Uchiha is a part of. Surely that drives home the severity of this group. But you already knew that, didn't you?"

"You have information on the Akatsuki?" Jiraya whispers. "Prove it."

"We know they exist. We know that they're gathering the bijuu for something. That's more than entire villages put together. We know more than that too and my Summoner and I are willing to share it with you. Provided of course that you pass it along to Tsunade and never mention either of us to her. She can never know it's from us."

"Wow." Jiraya sits down in shock. "Six years. I've been trying to find information on them for six years and you just pop into my life saying you know more than I've discovered in that entire time?"

"So Toad Sage, do we have an agreement?" Shirokumo boldly asks with a smirk plastered onto his face. "My Summoner and I will provide you with more information in addition to your own spy network if in return for us you pass it along to Tsunade and never tell her who you got it from. So you are aware, the Hokage is not the only Kage that my Summoner is thinking about sharing this information with. It's just a good place to start since Konoha obviously cares about stopping the Akatsuki while we try to sway the rest of the Kages to take them seriously."

"Yes. I would be a fool to refuse this." Jiraya readily agrees. "How often can I expect updates?"

"I don't know, that's up to my Summoner." Shirokumo shrugs. "Well then, now that that's all taken care of I'm going to leave now. I'll drop by again eventually. Not exactly sure when, but it'll happen."

"WAIT!" Naruto shouts before Shirokumo can disappear. "You said you're from Otogakure? Obviously your Summoner knows Alvarcus right? Since he'd have to sign the Spider Contract to do those things he did in the Chunin Exams. So that means you've seen him, right?"

'Interesting.' Shirokumo thinks to himself. 'Naruto is assuming that someone let Alvarcus sign the Contract, not that he went and reversed summoned himself to get us. He thinks that Alvarcus and my Summoner are two unique individuals and judging by the looks Jiraya is shooting me, he thinks the same thing. It's not an outrageous idea, it's very rare for someone as young as Alvarcus to survive a Summon's tests. Plus how would a thirteen year old have any information on the most elusive and hidden criminal groups of this day and age?'

"Yeah I've seen Alvarcus." Shirokumo tiredly provides a piece of information to the duo. "That brat has no idea what he's doing half the time and the other half he's training like there's a war looming on the horizon. Plus he's always with some black haired boy. They're damn near inseparable."

"Alvarcus and Sasuke. How are they? Are they okay? Do they need help? Orochimaru isn't experimenting on them, right? They're both fine? Have they improved? Do they know any new tricks? How about jutsu? Wait wait that's unimportant! Why did they leave? Better yet why did Alvarcus refuse to come back home?"

"Yeah I'm not touching that one. Bye." Shirokumo vanishes in a cloud of smoke.

"So." Jiraya turns to his student. "That happened."

Naruto looks very miffed at missing a chance to find out more about his two wayward friends. Both Sasuke and Alvarcus hold a special spot in his heart, they were the first two to actually reach out and include him. They are his first friends. "Yeah. Are you really not going to tell Tsunade about this mysterious Spider Summoner? Shouldn't we at least warn her that he's an Oto shinobi? He's gotta be strong right?"

"It's possible." Jiraya nods in agreement. "It's actually a pretty difficult ordeal to let someone else sign your personal Contract. Usually only those who have mastered or are very close to mastering their Contracts even consider letting someone else sign it. Even then it's usually an apprentice or someone who means something to the original Contract Holder. Knowing that Alvarcus has signed a Contract is impressive. Not only does it bump up his threat level significantly since summons can cover up your weak points but it also means that he either befriended the Contract Holder or used his connections to Orochimaru to have my old teammate force the Contract Holder to let him sign it. Either way he's more dangerous than I thought."

"Well yeah Alvarcus is dangerous! We've met him, he's got those weird black monster thingies! Not to mention all the jutsu he knows. His diversity is insane. But we're not talking about him."

"Correct. We're talking about Tsunade's ex-spy." Jiraya pauses for a moment in deep thought. He's weighing the pros and cons of telling Tsunade about who exactly his new contact is. "Is he trustworthy? I'm not sure, Tsunade did cut ties with him if he's seeking us out. That's something against him."

"But he's offering information on the Akatsuki, a group that we have next to zero on. And they want my head. Really not okay with all of that." Naruto points out. "I say we test him. Let him give us a few pieces of information, see how good he is. If he provides accurate and good intel, we'll use him. If not, we tell Tsunade and ask what she wants done."

"Not bad kiddo." Jiraya fondly tossels Naruto's hair. "Maybe underneath all that stupid there's a glimmer of hope for you!"

"Oi! Not cool! Don't mess with my hair!" Naruto halfheartedly tries to escape.

"Is – is the spider gone now?" A nervous female voice shakily asks from outside of the room.

"Of course!" Jiraya beams as he gallantly strolls out of the room. "I, Jiraya of the Sannin, have miraculously defeated the foe! Once he laid eyes on my might he fled in fear!"

"Fantastic. He's doing this again." Naruto groans out. "When will I be back in Konoha? At this rate it's going to be weeks. I just want to get away from all of this crazy for a bit! I swear he's going to corrupt me."

"OH HO!" Jiraya's loud booming voice penetrates the walls. "I'll have to use that for my books! I had no idea someone could be so flexible!"

"I need to get out of here before I go insane."

Alvarcus's Room

"So how did it go?" I ask Shirokumo as he plonks down onto my head. "You're in one piece, that's a good sign."

"Yeah not for their lack of trying. You've got to stop making me do that. One of these days I won't move fast enough."

"Right. The second I get a teleportation technique in my repertoire I'll just go myself. Happy?"

"No." Shirokumo whines. "Do you have any idea how rare those techniques are? Like super rare. Hell I'm a fluke to be honest, simply one of a kind. No one can mimic my style, it's exclusive to me. There's no way you'll learn or make one of those any time soon. Or ever."

"Yeah I know, that's why I said that." I smirk in victory. "I guess it'll just have to be you."

"You suck." Shirokumo continues to whine from his perch.

"I know. So are they in?" I eagerly ask.

"Oh yeah. They're in."

"Perfect."

Five Days Later

"It is time to leave." Orochimaru repeats for some unknown reason as he addresses the group before him.

Myself, Sasuke, the Sound Three, and a ragtag bunch of shinobi and a handful of prisoners are arranged before him. He's got quite the posse to go with him to the next base. I never pictured him traveling with a group at all, he seems like a loner to me.

"Well?" I playfully ask as I sling my backpack over my shoulders. "What are we waiting for! Let's get this show on the road!"

"Yes." Orochimaru rolls his eyes at me and swings open the exit to the base. Sunlight spills into the underground passage and everyone squints under the sudden brightness. "Let us go."

"WAIT!" I shout as I dump the contents of my backpack onto the ground. Scroll after scroll pour out of it, they make a small pile on the ground. I waste no time in quickly falling to my knees and hurriedly rifling through the mound. "No no no! It's not here!"

"What?" Sasuke bolts into action helping me sort through the scrolls. "What is it? What's wrong? What are we looking for?"

Everyone is looking at me in worry, even Orochimaru is showing a great deal of concern for letting me put on this show without rebuking me at all.

"My couch! It's not here!" I wail. "I've got to go back for it!"