Klee: "Ta-da! Klee's gonna perform fish-blasting with Jumpy Dumpty!" Captain Jean entered the live broadcast. "To...today Klee is...is here to tell...tell you all a story about a girl who loves blowing up fish!" Hu Tao: "Hehe, I am Hu Tao, the Seventy-Seventh Director of Wangsheng Funeral Parlor. For any funeral-related business, please remember to contact this humble director! Oh right, followers get a 20% discount and a bonus luxurious funeral service!" Qiqi: "Qiqi does not want to stream!" Hu Tao swiftly embraced Qiqi and ran towards Wuwang Hill. "Hehe, sorry, but it's not your choice today!" "Our broadcaster has captured a live zombie for everyone today. Everyone, type 'Protect Wangsheng Funeral Parlor' in the chat - hehe!" Very Chatty Cloud Retainer: "Give me a follow, and I'll share stories about Ganyu from her childhood in Liyue!" Arataki Itto: "Welcome to the Arataki Gang! Watch me devour a pig in three bites - don't stop those tips coming!" Yoimiya: "Thanking Traveler for the rocket tip! Hm, let me show you how to make rockets now!" Paimon aimed the phone at Zhongli, her expression sly. "Emperor, surely you wouldn't want others knowing you're still alive, would you?!" Main Characters: Lin Feng, Eula *** Please support me on Patreon, where you can read a bunch of extra chapters, not just for this novel, but for all the novels I'm translating. I upload at least 2 times daily for each novel (meaning there are at least twice as many chapters on Patreon compared to here on Webnovel). https://www.pat reon.com/ThatGreatStuff
On a scorching summer day, Lin Feng worked high above ground, sweat pouring down his forehead like rain.
"Damn it, you useless System! I'd be better off without you!"
"Host, please watch your language. As an intelligent system, I have my dignity too!"
"Wipe that crap, you retarded System, seeking dignity? Your sole purpose is to build 4G base stations and give me a few crappy phones? When I handed them to the scrapyard owner, he even questioned where I found such antiques. And what's the point of unlimited data if it's always lagging like hell?!
"People are already building 5G networks, while you're still stuck with damn 4G. At this rate, I'll soon be unemployed!"
"And let's not forget, when I asked you to bless me with Kaedehara Kazuha in a wish, you gave me Commander Miyabi instead! Although also Anemo, but...s-stars..."
"Zzzt..." A static-like noise echoed in Lin Feng's mind, indicating the System's helpless protest.
The System was equally helpless; its original purpose was to enable show-offery in ancient times, but it had mistakenly landed Lin Feng elsewhere...
"Hey, you up there! Stop that racket! It's harmful to our health, do you know?!" Suddenly, an elderly woman appeared below Lin Feng.
Years of pent-up frustration erupted within him. He stood up and unleashed a torrent of curses towards her.
"You f***ing... b****..."
Unfazed, the woman waved her finger aggressively and stomped her feet.
"Back off... back off!"
Recalling the famous advice from his magician father, "Defeat magic with magic," Lin Feng decided to join in.
"Back off..."
As soon as he uttered the word "back," his foot slipped. In mid-air, his only thought was, Thankfully, I tied my safety rope!
However, just as relief set in, there was a loud snap, and the rope broke!
"Damned System, save me!"
***
"According to our sources, today a worker fell from a high-altitude job site and struck a woman below, resulting in both individuals succumbing to their injuries despite emergency efforts! Now, here's our reporter live on the scene..."
***
Lin Feng slowly opened his eyes to a world of blinding whiteness.
"Achoo..." Lin Feng sneezed hard, tightly hugging himself as he shivered uncontrollably.
"Damn, what freak weather! It was scorching under the sun just moments ago!" Still clad in shorts and short sleeves, Lin Feng stood on a snow-covered path, his eyebrows frosted over.
"Hey, System, where am I now? What's with this crazy weather? How did you transport me here?" Lin Feng tried to recall; it seemed like he had stumbled while at a great height.
"Beep... You are currently in Dragonspine, part of the Teyvat continent. Ding, map has been issued - please proceed to Mondstadt!"
A wave of discomfort surged through Lin Feng's mind as he finally received the system-provided map. However, as an eighth-level newbie, what use was a map when he couldn't even navigate properly?
As Lin Feng trudged along, he reached the edge of a lake. Despite the bitter cold, the intense thirst from the earlier heatwave persisted.
Cautiously, he knelt by the lakeside, preparing to scoop up some water for a drink. After all, pollution wasn't yet severe in Teyvat.
Suddenly, Lin Feng's pupils contracted sharply. Before him appeared a breathtakingly beautiful, naked figure. Blood instantly streamed down his nose—was this something he could witness without bypassing internet restrictions?
"I'll remember this grudge!"
Suddenly, Lin Feng saw a fist rapidly approaching his eyes, and then... he slipped into unconsciousness.
Eula observed the man before her, gently crouching down to place her fingers near Lin Feng's nose, checking for signs of life.
Two white Slimes swayed in front of Lin Feng, but alas, he couldn't see them anymore.
"This is the person I found in the snow-capped mountains; his attire is quite peculiar, not typical of the Fatui."
Lin Feng faintly heard a cool female voice, seemingly Eula's.
"Could he be the brother of that Traveler? But his hair isn't blonde!" Another female voice chimed in, sounding more lively and enthusiastic.
"I'm not sure, but probably not!" Eula hesitated, thinking aloud. Given the Traveler's refined nature, it seemed unlikely that her brother would be peeping on people bathing!
"Huh, did you give him that bruise around his eye? That's pretty harsh. How did you even spot him?"
"Cough, no, it must have been from hitting something! He's yours now; please handle the arrangements!"
Hearing this exchange, Lin Feng slowly opened his eyes and shouted, "Don't...don't hit me, I wasn't spying..."
Before Lin Feng could finish, Eula swiftly covered his mouth.
"Mmph..." Lin Feng looked pleadingly at Amber standing nearby.
"Alright, Eula, let him go!" Amber smiled and gently tugged on Eula's hand, her eyes filled with curiosity as she looked at Lin Feng.
"You know what to say and what not to say, right?" Eula glared at Lin Feng, but strangely, he found it oddly charming—perhaps revealing his masochistic tendencies.
Lin Feng nodded, and only then did Eula release her grip. With disgust, she noticed saliva on her hand.
"Where did you come from? How did you faint in the snow-capped mountains?" Amber stared at Lin Feng, questioning him intently.
"I don't know, ah... headache!" Lin Feng clutched his head, thinking there was no way he could mention time travel. What if they used him merely as a tool? It seemed safer to feign amnesia.
"Don't think too much if it hurts; just relax, take it easy!" Amber hurriedly comforted Lin Feng.
Eula appeared exasperated, suspecting that Lin Feng might be faking it, having seen countless expressions of genuine pain before.
"Amber, I'll leave him in your hands. I'm heading back now!" Eula announced, preparing to depart.
"I remember now, it was you who hit me! You can't leave!" Lin Feng quickly grabbed onto Eula's leg. After all, she had indeed struck him, so this couldn't exactly be considered blackmailing, right?!
Watching Lin Feng, Amber's mouth dropped open. In the ancient customs of the Lawrence Clan, any physical contact between a man and woman carried severe consequences.
As Amber had anticipated, Eula aimed another punch at Lin Feng's intact left eye. This time, however, it was slightly less forceful; Lin Feng felt excruciating pain but managed to stay conscious.
"You...you hit me again! I can't see now, you...you'll have to take responsibility." Lin Feng's hand groped aimlessly around Eula's leg. Serves her right for hitting me - this is my compensation! he thought.
Eula's face flushed slightly; she had never been so intimately close with someone of the opposite sex, let alone having them touch her leg.
"If your hand moves any further, I'll chop it off!" Eula's voice was icy, suggesting she might actually follow through on her threat.
Lin Feng promptly clung tightly to Eula's thigh, ensuring his hand didn't budge even a fraction. After all, she was his girlfriend of over twenty years—he couldn't afford to lose her just like that!
Curious onlookers began gathering around, pointing and whispering amongst themselves.
"She's from the Lawrence Clan. Can't believe she became a Knight of Favonius—actually assaulting people in public!"
"Down with the Lawrence Clan, down with exploitation! Mondstadt has changed; the Lawrences can only cling to their remnants behind closed doors!"
"What's happening to this Mondstadt? The Lawrence Clan still acts above the law, beating people openly on the streets. I love Mondstadt, but does it truly care for its citizens?"