CHAPTER TWO. VERDICT.

"The waves wash away the dirt. But danger awaits when there is nothing to be washed"~Oceania.

***

***Flashback***

Emptiness. That was what was left in my heart. Then deep inside my bones, betrayal stung more than the injuries on my body.

Dead. They were dead, all of them. I had cried and begged the gods to help me but they turned their backs on me. I could not feel anything anymore. There was nothing left to feel when the reason for my breathing was also dead.

No one close to me had ever died, so I never understood it. As a child, my sister told me that when people died their souls journeyed to Chervia to meet Davikon, the god of death. I had always been curious about Chervia and I was sure that today was when I would see it.

I sat on the bench outside the council house where the verdict on my fate would be decided. I hoped I die, so I could join my friends in Chervia. My friends.

The only thing I noticed was that maybe the gods realized they had lost people so irreplaceable that the clouds became so dark and thick, even when it was not time for it.

My head was lowered and I did not notice anyone walking up to me. I felt a presence hovering over me and I looked up to see my Wyn, Eomer. He wore his usual blue robe and a long twisted rope with tassels at the tips tied around his waist.

Unlike most Wyns who liked to keep their hair short, his flowed down to his shoulders with grey strands that did nothing to emphasize the oceans of wisdom he had accumulated over the years. Despite being old in years, he was still handsome.

"My child," He called out.

I stood up and met his calm brown eyes.

"Xarian, it must have been so hard on you. I pray that Athika gives you her courage and Pearla is most graceful to bestow upon you her peace"

My eyes hardened at the mention of the very gods I cried upon, yet they rendered my pleas unworthy. I did not want anything from them.

"Shedding tears would ease your pain. You've also suffered like everyone else."

I had not shed a tear since that day and I would do no such thing as shedding useless tears that would not bring them back. There was no point. Drakon. Mazikeen. Arthur. They were all gone.

Most importantly, they did not need the tears of someone who was also going to die. We would all be reunited, soon. I just nodded offhandedly.

He must have seen my resigned look because he uttered with conviction, "You will not die Xarian-Jarda"

"Do not think me a child that does not understand the workings of the law. I am thirteen, High Wyn Eomer. I am thirteen. I am of the betrothal age. 4 years from now, I could get married"

He held my shoulders with both hands. We were almost the same height.

"I do not think you a child. You are one of the brightest and wisest students I have ever taught. You will not die. The council decided to spare your life"

"What? How is that even possible?" My eyes widened in shock.

"It was an accident Xarian. You also lost people"

I touched my necklace to give me strength. How was I to leave without them? I had always felt loneliness tugging at my heart, but now I was going to be alone. I was better off dead.

"I promised you Xarian, I wasn't going to let

anything happen to you" He hugged me.

A shame. It was. Letting me live was already him breaking his promise.

***Flashback Ends****

***

The gods had always mocked me, and seen me as an instrument for pleasure so no wonder the sky seemed like they were about to cry because they were aware of the cruel fate that awaited just like that day.

It had been days since Flame Day, 10 days to be exact. Meetings upon meetings were being held.

It felt as if I was reliving those memories again. I was seated on the bench outside the council house, head lowered waiting for someone to deliver my fate. However I did not feel empty, I felt unease and a wave of fear threatening to swallow me whole. I also felt aware of everything happening around me.

I knew when my Wyn came out of the council house. I even counted how many steps he took before he reached where I was sitting. 14 steps.

"Knighthood" I shot up from my seat when he spoke.

"What do you mean?" My brows furrowed in confusion.

"Your hood is knighthood" He clarified. I did not meet his calm eyes. I met tired eyes.

"My hood? That is not possible. They cannot choose for me! You promised me that you were going to let no harm befall me. This is the meaning of harm" He tried to touch me, but I evaded.

Betrayal still tasted bitter in my throat.

"Xarian let me explain, you-" I walked away from him reaching the iron gates guarded by two knights, who used their spears to form an x at the gate.

I raised a brow. "Let me through." They remained silent at my command. In every book, they said Lords were above Calyptexes but that was it- in every book.

I lifted my chin, my voice enunciating each word, "I am Xarian-Jarda of Calyptex Ruby, you will let me through." The hesitation in their eyes was subtle but clear enough for me to see, after all, the eyes were the key to one's soul. They finally relented and I strode into the council house.

The councilmen had tables made out of blocks that were about 20 feet tall and each of them was in chairs that floated behind the table, courtesy of the Sorcerers. They all formed a circle, leaving a space in the middle. That was where I stood.

"You have no right to make such a decision." I gave my full attention to Meridan.

"What is it that we cannot do, Xarain-Jarda of Calyptex Ruby?" Meridian asked rather bored, almost sighing.

Self control. Breathe in. Breathe out.

"Wyn or Physician"

"Are you giving us a choice to make?" One of the council members, Taurus asked incredulously.

"I trained to be a Wyn and a healer. I'm either one or both" I said firmly.

"Who do you think you are? If it were anyone else, their heads would be rolling in the very ground you stand on, so I suggest you know your place," Karis, the second in command to Meridan spoke. He had blue eyes like Meridan.

"The irony. It is you who should know your place"

"I beg your pardon!" Taurus replied sharply.

"You cannot choose for me," I paused, retracting my statement, "You will not choose for me!"

"The Flames didn't choose you because you are unworthy, yet we kept you alive to be met with such disrespect" Meridan said coldly. I could see the anger underneath his calmness.

"People who get chosen as knights by the flames are those who have been training before they could utter the names of 5 gods. I would not survive a day in their hood let alone their tests. This is suicide."

I stared at Meridan, but his face was passive as usual. But there was something in his eyes. Something that told me that there was more to this.

Then I remembered what he said to me on Flame Day.

"Your pride will shatter you to pieces, Xarian-Jarda"

Cadvere's wisdom, I understood everything now. This was suicide.

"It never mattered", I started. "No matter what the Flames gave me, you were going to nullify it and send me into the Knighthood to be killed. This has been your plan all along. The fact that the Flames did not choose me was just a win for you. This is cruelty. You cannot do this. The council cannot decide without the emperor's consent"

"We are well aware of that. We have the emperor's consent to do this. He signed the decree" Taurus smiled. A smile that mocked me.

"This is not fair! You cannot do this to me! You cannot punish me for no reason!"

"FOR NO REASON!? YOU MURDERED MY SON!" Meridian roared and the room went silent.

I clenched my fists.

Meridan cleared his throat and continued with finality in his tone, "Your parents have also agreed to this. Do not act smart and behave imprudently. You will go to knighthood and train and learn the very much discipline you seem to lack"

I could see the pride and satisfaction in his eyes as he said, "Now get out"

This was the reason I was not beheaded for my crimes. Why kill me, when I could do that just fine myself? But I walked out of there with my head held up high. They shall not get to me. They shall not see me cry. I shall not give them the satisfaction.

Wyn Eomer was still waiting outside and the betrayal stung more than ever.

"You allowed them to do this to me. You should have let me die" I said to him as icy as the kingdom of Northernburg was.

"I did what was best for you. It was between this or your death"

"Then you should have let me die". The gods answered their prayers. I was going to die.

From a young age, when one decided to be a knight, your entire life was focused on that. They did not have time for their families. They just trained and kept on training until Flame Day.

Almost every time they all get chosen to become knights. A few times, others get chosen to join other hoods. People had more than a decade of training and I did not even know how to hold a sword. My death was going to be torture. I could practically feel Davikon calling my name.

"Then survive Xarian. Do not let their deaths be in vain" He said from behind me, but I just kept walking away. He was the only person that still cared for me after that day. He was a father to me, a mentor yet he too did not realize what this meant to me and how important it was for me to be in Wynhood. There, I would not hurt anybody.

***

For the next few months until August, I spent my days in the library trying to find a way to reverse the order. It was very difficult to do this because this was the first time since the beginning of Flame Day the Flames went out.

With no way to get out of this, I decided to read about the knighthood tests. The only helpful thing I found was the fact that you had to walk to the knighthood division. Walking to them meant one had to go through a series of obstacle tests that changed each year. So even if I wanted a pattern of what to expect, there was no way for that to happen.

One year the recruits had to pass an entire floor of lava before they could enter a building that was full of glue. The knights were very arrogant, now I knew why.

August arrived and the dread that filled me was too much for me to bear.

No good luck and no prayer of protection from my parents. I was completely alone and I was about to die.