Chapter 36: No love loss for someone who never really loved you

Kara quickly flies over to their penthouse so they can stay at Sam, Alex, and Maggie's home a little while longer. She contemplates asking for Snapper to give her another extension on her current pieces but she shuts that down. J'onn has already disguised as the reporter and asked for two already. Snapper has a short temper already, there was no way he would tolerate her late work again. She makes it back to her sister's home and tries to speed through the five-piece and the one puff piece she got as punishment for 'slacking'.After lunch, the girls sit on the couch watching Wreck-It-Ralph. Maggie replaced the paci with her thumb and Lena with just the tips of her fingers in."Mommy?"Sam was in the kitchen cleaning up, throwing away wrappers, and cleaning up the dishes that they had to use for the girls. Sam's ears perk at her given title. She dries her last plate and puts it away in the cabinet. She picks up a paper towel to dry her hands on her way to take a seat next to Maggie."Yes, Bunny?" Maggie curls up to her side. With a second thought, Maggie climbs into her Mommy's lap and takes a seat squarely in the middle.Maggie's actions make Sam smile. "Oh, so my baby wanted snuggles today hm." Maggie snuggles deeply into her Mommy's warmth with a sigh of contentment.Sam's arms go on autopilot. One hand rests on her littles lower back and the other starts to pat on her bottom for comfort.To Sam's surprise, the material squishes under the pressure. Sam was happy that her little girl decided to embrace this new aspect of their relationship but she definitely did not expect her "grown" Maggie to actually use the product. Sam isn't mad at all, she is totally fine with Maggie continuing to use protection, but she knows Maggie will probably be mortified when she realizes what's happened.Sam kisses the spot next to her baby's ear, the contact elicits a giggle and has the little Maggie squirming.She kisses the girl again and pats her bottom, "Come, up you go, I gotta get you changed."This shocks Maggie. The detective's head shoots up from the crook's Mommy's neck and she looks at her in horror. Maggie forcefully throws herself back into her adult head space. Stupid, so fucking stupid."Sam, I- It didn't. I didn't mean to, it just, I-" Maggie is bugging out, to her, it's justified.She enjoys the feeling of the padding. She remembers how it first felt, she was embarrassed to have to use it but she got used to it when she was physically regressed to a three-year-old. She never expected to love it so much, and even then, be willing to wear it now.It makes her feel safe, comfortable, hugged even. She never expected this, sitting in sopping wet protection on her girlfriend's lap like a child. It all has her earlier trepidations roaring back to the forefront of her mind and it has her reeling.Sam senses the stiffening body and she sees Maggie take on this far-away look. Sam takes control and swiftly, but softly, floats them both to their room for privacy.Sam puts Maggie on her feet and shuts the door locked behind them. Alex is in the shower with the bathroom door cracked open a bit. The room holds a humid feel to it due to the shower's steam. They can smell the faint fragrance of Alex's shampoo."Maggie," She puts a hand on her girlfriend's shoulder, "it's ok. You did wear it for that, can't let it go to waste." Sam tried to joke about it but it didn't hit like how it was supposed to.The teetering little whisper yells, "I'm not a baby!" She stops her foot. "I shouldn't have to use it. I don't need it." The detective crosses her arms and turns away in stubbornness. The shirt rides up due to her folding her arms and you can just barely make out the sodden pull-up.Sam sighs, this isn't the time to fight. Maggie rolls her own tired eyes. It's getting to her and Lena's nap time and she can already feel sleep pulling her in."Ok Mags, we can talk about this later, or maybe on another day." Sam uncrosses her little one's arms and guides her to the bed. "How about I help you clean up so you can take your nap with Lee? I can hear her snoring from here.""I'm not-" The rest of that sentence is cut off by a yawn. She huffs but settles on the bed on her back. "But you can't tell Lexi."Sam gets the supplies for the change, "I won't, but she won't care. I'm sure of it." Maggie looks at Sam with critical eyes. "I promise bunny, I won't tell her."Maggie holds up her pinky for the taller Kryptonian to take. They connect and each kisses their thumbs to finish off the process."Come on now bun." The taller brunette makes quick work of wiping her down.Once she dresses her in more adult clothes, the redhead's shower turns off and she steps out of the bath. Maggie quickly scurries off before Alex emerges from the bathroom. Sam shakes her head, speeds through cleaning up the supplies and kisses Alex before pulling herself into the living room to reclaim her seat back on the couch beside an almost sleeping Maggie.Maggie lazily tries to find Sam's hand. She picks it up without opening her eyes and manoeuvres to have Sam's hand on her back.Sam snorts at that but goes to rubbing her girlfriend's back anyways.Alex comes out ten minutes later with a towel on her head and a phone to her ear, looking a little concerned. The redhead signals Sam to listen, and Kara also, even though the blonde is preoccupied at the kitchen counter with an article that is due later tonight."I'll ask, we just got back and maybe they might not be comfortable," The agent shakes her head at the person on the call. "Hey guys, Lucy wants to know if she can come over and bring some paperwork by?" Alex eyes the sleeping girls."Only if you're cool with it!" The woman yells over the phone, knowing well that she didn't have to yell for the Kryptonian ears.Kara quickly says yes, fingers never stopping their intense lightning-speed typing.Alex looks over to Sam in question."Yeah that should be ok." the television quickly flashes a thunderstorm warning. "But she should probably turn back, it's getting worse out there.""Well, I did question her about why she would even think about driving out in a storm." Alex puts Lucy on speaker."Well.... I was already just driving around."Alex and Sam frown at that. "You don't wanna, you know, go home and rest?"They can all feel Lucy's eye roll, "Do you want the paperwork or not Danvers?" She says with a little annoyance in her tone, her voice seems dry, maybe she's catching a cold? Sam thinks.Alex knows better, her friend is upset, and it takes a lot to upset Lucy. She takes it off of the speaker. "Luce, you good?"Lucy blows out a breath. "I'm fine, I'll be there in five and then get out of your hair.""Luce-" The call clicks, signalling that the person on the other end of the call has hung up. Sam looks at Alex in question."What was that about?"Alex takes the towel out of her and dries it off. "I don't know, maybe James. We got drunk a couple weeks ago and she said they were having problems while riding a mechanical bull."Kara speaks from the kitchen, still concentrating on talking to Andrea through email about her article. "I don't know why she's still with him. He's a total ass, even Clark had to distance himself."Before Alex could comment there were two quick knocks at the front door.Alex gets the door since Maggie is still snuggly in Sam's lap, Lena asleep beside them and Kara working on her assignment.She is met with a small Lucy clutching a wrapped manilla folder in her thin coat which has been soaked thoroughly. Her hair is all over the palace due to the high winds, but it is a blessing it isn't too cold outside.Alex goes to guide her away from the pelting droplets, neglecting to acknowledge the major's blood-shot red-rimmed tired eyes.Kara looks up when she hears a micro sniffle. She quickly speeds into her sister's room to grab some towels and extra clothes from the throuples room.Lucy rubs at her eyes, slightly smearing the already running mascara. She pushes the offer of warmth away. "I'm fine Kara," Lucy shoves the files in Alex's hands, "I can get home just fine now, thank you."Alex looks over to Sam who is glancing at the interaction from the couch. Kara raises her eyebrow to Lucy and tries to shove the offered objects into the major's arms.Sam smoothly picks up both girls and has them cling to her like koalas, taking them into their respective rooms.Lucy doesn't get to see this interaction as she stands dripping micro rivers onto the floor while looking down at her feet, counting each droplet as they splat, wishing she had just gone somewhere else.Lucy can tell that she interrupted a quiet afternoon with the family. She feels so stupid thinking to come over. It makes her long for this cosiness, the love that she can all but smell in the air here. She wants to feel that closeness, she wants to feel all of these fuzzies but she can't, not now maybe not ever - Especially not with James, never with him.Lucy knows she's not worthy of that unconditional love. If having an absent older sister and a restrictive general as a father is any indication, she is meant to lead till her last breath. There is no such thing as relaxation, only work, sleep, repeat. There is no time for love and affection, no time for sleeping in and just basking in the warmth of a hug. Love isn't in the cards for her, that's at least what she thinks.Alex tries to get Lucy to look up at her once again, her hand shifts to the shorter woman's chin, much like she does Maggie. "Luce, honey?"The term of endearment kicks Lucy right in the heart, where it hurts the most.Tears mix in with her still dripping hair, she tries to keep her crying to a minimum, breaking down in front of her friends like this is not how she expected things to go. But what did she really expect by coming here anyway?Alex nods for Kara to give them some privacy, Alex has been friends with Lucy longer due to work. They go out to drink at least twice a month and they haven't missed one of their lunch dates in a while."Alright Luce, I'm not gonna make you talk about anything but I do think it is best to get you out of these wet clothes. They can't be too comfortable can they?" Lucy manages to shake her head no, looking past Alex instead of at her, but the agent doesn't mind."We can also have something nice and warm to drink." She guides the girl into the spare room with the towel and clothes thrown over her own shoulder."I know it wasn't really cold but I can see you shivering, it's a bit colder here, for the sake of the Kryptonians."Kara knocks on the door and waits for someone to answer. "I brought some new underwear, I expected everything to be soaked through, do ya need it?"Alex turns to Lucy who looks down and nods her head with a frustrated sigh. It makes Alex smile a bit. Alex grabs the object and ushers Lucy into the bathroom to dry off and get dressed."Take your time Luce."From the bathroom, the shorter girl speaks. "Sorry for taking away your family time Lex." Lucy holds up the wet clothes offering them to Alex to put in the washing machine."You know you're family too, right?" Lucy doesn't answer, "the girls were just napping, nothing special about today."Lucy comes out of the bathroom, covering up a little yawn she was trying hard to stifle. Alex smirks, "It looks like someone could use one of those naps." The major tries to tie the pants tight, being shorter than everyone there, the clothes are slightly big but super comfortable."'M not tired." Lucy's phone pings, "Get it please." Alex does get it from across the rooms while she puts on a pair of Kara's fluffy pink and purple socks."It's James." Alex states simply, the redhead tries to gauge the petite woman's reaction.Lucy blanches at the name. Her eyes brim with tears and she tries to make a break for the door.Sam is there passing by and quickly stops Lucy from running back out into the rain to get soaked again.Lucy tries to untangle herself to make it to the door again but Sam doesn't let her. The taller woman uses the minimal amount of strength to keep the girl in place. Alex steps in front of the but is a safe distance, not wanting to suffocate the girl.Sam nuzzles into the still damp hair. Sam was the last to meet the major but they hit it off right away. Sam is used to the dry dark humour because of spending years with Lena and having Alex as a girlfriend. Both Sam and Lucy have grown close and do spend plenty of dinners with the girl when she can. Along with plenty of alone time, they are close friends."Lucy, what happened?" Lucy shouldn't be scared to talk about her boyfriend, she should seem afraid of the idea of talking to him. She shouldn't be this scared of anyone.Lucy shakes her head no vigorously at the question. The girl is shivering, gnawing at her bottom lip while her gaze is locked on the ground.Alex is at a loss. Kara has left the room to let the two other women deal with it. Lucy looks so small and fragile right now, a sight that neither woman has ever seen or imagined on the girl. All they want to do is sweep her up in a never-ending hug.Alex goes to put on the kettle for tea and prepares four mugs, one of them being for Kara."Lucy, I'm gonna keep holding onto you. We are gonna walk to the couch and sit until the water has finished boiling for the tea." Sam knows she needs to take control of the situation, she waits for resistance and there is none - She is grateful for that.Sam keeps the girl close and is happy she doesn't startle the girl any further. She deposits Lucy on the couch and once she is settled she tells Lucy that she will quickly get some blankets to lay out. The water finishes boiling to the perfect temperature by the time Sam and Lucy are settled in the blankets.After the tea and tears are done, along with two episodes of Criminal Minds, Lucy leans into Alex's waiting arms while Sam rinses the mugs."Is Kara listenin'?"Alex wraps a hand around the girl, pulling her into a comfortable position. "Not if you don't want her to."Lucy nods, "it's cool.""So you're ready to talk then Luce?" Alex can sense Lucy gathering her thoughts. Lucy shifts just a bit away from Alex and she hugs herself softly as Sam returns to Alex's side.Lucy blurts out, "I haven't had sex with James yet."It's a surprise to both Sam and Alex but they don't let their surprise be known. Alex treads carefully."It's been over a year for you guys, but that doesn't mean you are obligated to have sex with him in a specific time span, or at all. Not all relationships require sex." Alex fixes the blanket to cover Lucy's legs, "Do you want to- you know.... Have sex with him?"Lucy tears up but holds it together. "No, I told him at the beginning how I feel about sex. He said I would come around eventually. I was stupid to not see that as a red flag."Lucy laughs self-deprecating, "As you can see, I never did come around. Last night, we were, uh, kissing you know." Lucy looks away and buries her face into the soft sheet, after a minute she resurfaces for air. "Usually I stop it after I see him getting heated, he starts to get rough. He-"Alex stiffens when Lucy can't hold it together anymore and sobs. She knows how stories like this go. And she hopes this is not how Lucy's story ends. Alex was gonna go for a hug but Sam stopped her.Sam whispers in her girlfriend's ear, "It's important in situations like these to explicitly seek permission to touch, Lucy is not capable of giving consent right now. You can talk her through but it's best to not touch her in this state, lest you trigger her." Alex shakes her head slowly in understanding.After Lucy calms down, Alex wordlessly opens her arms and Lucy barrels in. After the tears of all parties dry, Sam asks gently, "Did he?"Lucy shakes her head no vigorously, "No, no, He just- I told him to get off and he got mad. He said I've been teasing him for too long and he needs it from me. He- he was yelling and I don't like all the yelling."Both women hug the major until her sniffles taper off and she falls asleep. Both women sigh."I'll carry her to the guest room?" Alex says while bridal carrying the girl."No, put her in the room with Lena, just not too close. Put a pillow in between em. I think she needs company when she wakes but I don't want her to get scared by being with someone in bed."Alex tucks the girl in under the sheets and gives Maggie an extra kiss on the cheek.Rao, what are we gonna do?