Memories of the Past (III)

The turbulent atmosphere buffeted the X-wing mercilessly, attempting to toss it from side to side, much like when Luke first arrived on Dagobah. R2-D2 chirped and whistled anxiously, reporting that despite the rough ride, the fighter remained intact and not a single component had fallen off. It was a well-built, reliable ship.

No wonder Wedge Antilles, the commander of Rogue Squadron, like Skywalker himself, held such admiration for Incom Corporation's robust creation. However, something seemed off...

"R2-D2," the Jedi addressed his astromech. "Are the scanners functioning properly?"

The droid responded with an affirmative chirp.

Odd. For the first time, the instruments seemed unreliable. However, on reflection, it made sense; Master Yoda likely used the Force to "blind" the ship's sensors, guiding the young Jedi to the swamp by his instincts. If not for that fortuitous intervention, how long would it have taken Skywalker to find Yoda and his hidden dwelling? It's difficult to imagine.

Now, though, there was no one to guide him. Yoda was gone... And Ben Kenobi was gone too...

Just like my father...

Luke swallowed the lump in his throat, pushing away the unbidden thoughts.

He couldn't let the awareness of loss and memories of the departed haunt him forever. Living in the grip of emotions wasn't the way of the Light Side. Even as a Jedi Knight, he had to maintain self-control, learning to release the pain that comes with experience.

Ben had not clung to life, merging with the Force. Yoda departed in peace. Even his father had found a measure of redemption in his final act, even if it cost him his life.

This was the Jedi way—self-sacrifice. It wasn't supernatural; life and death were part of the natural order, something that shouldn't be disrupted. If the end of life was a law of nature and the Force, who was he to question it?

The X-wing descended on a cushion of repulsorlift, piercing through thick clouds and the lower atmosphere.

Luke reached out to the Force to gauge the suitability of the ground below for landing. Adjusting his course so the fighter's nose was aligned precisely with Yoda's former dwelling, he felt a sense of satisfaction as the landing gear touched down on relatively solid ground. On Dagobah, even that was a relative term.

As the canopy lifted and Luke removed his helmet, the pungent smells of Dagobah assaulted his senses.

Slightly rotten vegetation, the sharp odor of the surrounding swamps, distant sounds of forest and pond creatures, shrouded by mist. It all felt so familiar...

Memories of his time here flooded back—conversations with Yoda over bowls of strange-smelling but nourishing stew. The grueling training, both mentally and physically exhausting, left him barely able to move by day's end. Yet, he'd trudged through the forest, carrying his infinitely wise teacher on his shoulders, who repeatedly reminded him that fatigue was merely in his mind. The Force would sustain him, provided he could correctly attune himself to his body and the world around him.

Luke jumped out of the cockpit, surprised by the firmness of the surface on which he had landed. It was unusual, given that most of Dagobah's surface consisted of either swamps or damp moss, interwoven tree trunks. Only near the cave was there a relatively solid area...

The cave!

Luke instinctively shifted, pressing his back against the X-wing. He wasn't sure how the lightsaber found its way into his hand, but he could feel a familiar darkness emanating from behind the ship. It was the unmistakable presence of the Dark Side.

He nearly groaned. How had the Force guided him back here? And more importantly—why? He had already faced the cave, learned the lesson Yoda intended for him...

Or perhaps he hadn't learned it well enough, and the Force was drawing him back here to complete the lesson?

Taking a few cautious steps, he grimaced as if in pain.

Indeed, the X-wing's stern was aligned directly with the entrance to the cave where, years ago, he had experienced a harrowing vision. A gnarled tree, twisted like a fierce guardian, stood near the entrance, shrouded in a thin mist of swamp vapors...

R2-D2 emitted a puzzled beep.

"It's okay," Luke assured him. "It's just…"

With a soft hiss, the astromech emerged from its docking port within the X-wing and rolled up to Luke—his faithful companion disliked being left alone.

A distant, shrill cry from a bird echoed through the swamp, disrupting all the reasons Skywalker had given himself to justify coming here. How important and necessary this journey to Dagobah had seemed during the mission to Bimmisaari, during the flight. Yet now, those arguments felt hollow.

What made him think the Force wanted him to return to Dagobah?

Or was he merely seeking some sort of anchor to calm the turmoil he felt within the Force?

Remembering that doubt leads to the Dark Side, Luke forced himself to clear his mind.

"Do or do not. There is no try." That's what Yoda had said. Even if Skywalker was mistaken, he was here now. The task must be completed.

R2-D2 beeped inquiringly.

"I thought maybe Yoda left some notes behind," Luke said. "Like Ben did, with his journal on Tatooine. Perhaps Yoda did the same, and there's something useful here that I missed the last time I was here." The droid whistled, suggesting they start searching Yoda's home.

"You're right, buddy. Let's start there."

The distance between the X-wing and the ancient Jedi's dwelling was relatively short. Luke, emboldened by the proximity of the Dark Side, moved cautiously, recalling how challenging those first days of training had been.

After nearly sinking into the treacherous moss a few times, the Jedi Knight finally reached the squat hut, which was now nearly swallowed by the swamp.

Dagobah's lush vegetation had overtaken the structure, pressing down on it with vines and twisted tree trunks, nearly crushing it. So much had changed in just a few years...

Quick-witted as ever, the astromech extended a small sensor from its domed head. Luke just smiled.

"I think we should also trust our own eyes," he said, glancing at his lightsaber.

He wondered if Jedi of the past used their "weapons from a more civilized age" to clear a path through dense foliage, or would they disapprove of such an action?

It took only a few minutes to push through the undergrowth and reach the ruins of the hut. Luke noticed that much of the structure had been made of clay—remarkably well, too, which was a testament to its builder's skills. Luke pondered whether Yoda had constructed the hut himself or if someone else had done it. Finally, he managed to crawl inside. Even before, it barely reached his waist; now, it seemed like a cramped closet, overrun with vegetation and luminescent moss.

After sifting through broken pottery and decayed wooden shelves, Skywalker sadly concluded that there was nothing of value left. If there had been anything, it was likely long lost to the swamp or taken by the local wildlife.

"There's nothing here," he said, climbing out. "Yoda wasn't one to hide things. He would've given me anything he thought I needed. And if not..."

R2-D2 beeped questioningly.

"No, buddy, I don't think so," Luke chuckled. "But feel free to check. I doubt we'll find anything useful. Yoda never cared much for technology. Remember how he whacked you with his cane when you tried to take that nutrition bar?"

The droid hummed in confusion as it continued scanning. Of course, he remembered. It's hard to forget being left out in the rain while your friends stayed warm inside the hut.

Suddenly, the droid froze, its sensor pointing towards the X-wing.

"Found something?" Luke asked, puzzled. After a moment's thought, a smile spread across his face. "Congratulations, R2-D2, you've rediscovered our X-wing. Only this time, we haven't lost it..."

The astromech emitted an offended chirp. Luke could feel his ears burning from R2-D2's scolding.

"Sorry," he muttered. "No, I don't think your electronics are malfunctioning. But what could be out there? There's only…"

The cave.

As they moved toward it, Luke considered the possibility that his small friend had made a mistake. But when R2-D2 resolutely rolled behind the X-wing, still directing its sensor toward the cave, Luke swallowed hard, feeling a sudden tightness in his throat.

So, I wasn't mistaken after all.

"Are you certain?"

The droid squeaked indignantly, asserting its professionalism. If something didn't sit well with the Jedi, he could stop trembling like a leaf and go check it out himself. After all, which of them was the Jedi?

"I believe you," Luke said softly, realizing his prosthetic right hand was gripping his lightsaber hilt so tightly that the servos creaked. Meanwhile, his left hand was trembling—an unwelcome sensation of rising panic. "But I don't think Yoda would've left anything there. Not in a place steeped in the Dark Side of the Force. Yoda, like me, served the Light…"

If the astromech had eyes, it would've likely rolled them at Luke's reasoning. After all, Yoda had chosen a location close to the cave infused with the Dark Side as his place of exile.

"There's logic in your argument, R2-D2," Luke admitted. "I've thought the same. Opposing forces balance each other out…"

The droid responded with a trill, correcting the Jedi's analogy.

"Okay, okay," Luke conceded. "I'm a bit on edge and misspoke. Of course, a short circuit…"

He inhaled deeply, exhaled, and repeated the process.

"I am a Jedi," he reminded himself firmly. "Fear leads to the Dark Side of the Force."

Walking toward the cave's entrance, he took out his comlink and switched it on.

"I'll stay in touch, R2-D2," he said. "Track my position and alert me when I'm near the object you detected, alright?"

The droid whistled in response.

"No, stay outside the cave," Luke requested. "This isn't a suitable place for droids."

A cold, sticky sensation gripped him, pulling him back to the memory of his first approach to the cave. Back then, he was both frightened and curious. Despite Yoda's warning, he had brought his weapon with him. Should he do the same now?

But he decided there was no point in going back. Just because he had a lightsaber didn't mean he had to use it.

Step by step, he moved toward the place where he had once fought the vision of Darth Vader—a battle he lost. But then again, had he ever truly defeated his father? Had he ever conquered his anger like a true Jedi?

It was difficult to say. It was impossible to know what would have happened if he hadn't thrown away his lightsaber aboard the second Death Star, nearly becoming a victim of Emperor Palpatine's lightning.

But this time, nothing happened. No ominous breathing emerged from the darkness, no Sith Lord appeared. Nothing at all.

Skywalker paused, glancing around. It was strange—while Yoda's hut had been swallowed by the jungle, this place looked exactly as it had before. The same twisted vines, the same dim light...

The young Jedi ran a hand over his face, trying to ease the tension. It seemed his worries were unfounded. He had already faced his fear, and whether he had conquered it or not was now part of history that could not be altered. Yoda had never told him if he succeeded or failed. Or had he? Perhaps Luke just hadn't understood him.

Or maybe Yoda himself didn't know. Perhaps the cave offered no definitive answers, leaving each visitor to determine their own outcome and accept the consequences. Luke had accepted them, just as he had accepted his own flaws, knowing he could never stop growing. His father had all but destroyed the Jedi Order; Luke would have to rebuild it.

The sins of the fathers...

Either way, there was nothing left to fear here. He had conquered his fears and would not allow them to take hold of him again. The irrational fear of the unknown—something he couldn't grasp—had driven him, the last Jedi Knight in the galaxy, across thousands of light-years in search of... What?

This wasn't the way of a Jedi. He had left Han and Leia behind, chasing a phantom of some sort...

It was time to end this.

And perhaps, this journey should never have begun.

"R2-D2, are you still with me?" he asked.

The droid chirped in affirmation.

"The signal source," Luke reminded him. "Am I close?"

The astromech beeped, indicating he was nearly there.

"Alright," the Jedi decided. "I'll find it soon, and we'll end this search. I came here for nothing..."

He hadn't finished speaking when he realized the twilight of the cave was changing. Shadows and mist were beginning to take shape...

Suddenly, Luke felt the scorching heat of Tatooine's twin suns, Tattoo-1 and Tattoo-2, burning his skin again.

He felt a push at his back, a very familiar nudge. At the same time, he found himself stepping forward, toward the narrow metal "plank" from which they intended to cast him off... Nine years ago.

Luke glanced around.

There was no doubt. He was once again facing execution and the possible death of his loved ones on Tatooine at the Great Pit of Carkoon, where they were to be fed to the sarlacc.

He saw Jabba the Hutt's massive barge, from which the crime lord watched the proceedings. He felt the malicious glee of Jabba's minions. He spotted R2-D2's barely visible form, waiting for the signal to act...

"I know this is a vision," Luke said calmly. "I've already passed this test. Nothing has changed since then."

But his words were drowned out by the roar of the cheering crowd. It was as if the Force itself was trying to convey that the opinions of the young Jedi didn't matter here. They wanted to show him something...

Again, he felt the nudge that pushed him off the plank. Just like before, he managed to turn and grab the edge. A quick hand motion, and he would soar into the air, summoning his lightsaber...

But his hand grasped... nothing.

The weapon altered its trajectory and returned to the barge. No matter how much Luke tried to summon it with the Force, it didn't respond.

His lightsaber ended up in the hands of a woman. Luke couldn't see her face, only her fiery red hair. As she gave him a mocking wave, a new push sent him falling, along with Han and even Lando. Only Leia, still chained, watched in pain...

Then came the darkness. Luke shook his head, trying to dispel it, but it was in vain.

The darkness swirled, forming new shapes.

Now he saw the same woman, clad in a tight black combat suit. She stood with her back to him, her posture indicating a strong sense of independence, clearly contrasting with the one in front of her...

Luke felt a chill run through him.

A massive chair with a high back. A figure sitting in the shadows. The whole scene felt wrong, unreal, as if none of it was true, as if it wasn't really happening to him.

Yet he continued to watch.

He saw a figure in white rise from the chair. Skywalker's heart lifted with relief. Thank the Force, it wasn't Palpatine. But... who was it?

Just like in the first vision, he couldn't see the face clearly. Only the pale, almost bluish hue of the skin, the red eyes... The red-haired woman waited patiently as this person in a white uniform spoke to her. Luke couldn't hear their words or see their faces clearly...

He felt a shiver when he saw the figure in white draw back a hand, then extend it towards the woman...

Luke had to swallow hard. No, this couldn't be. It wasn't possible! This wasn't reality! It was just a vision...

The Jedi Knight began to panic as he witnessed further fragments of images... Chaos... Darkness. It was as if there was no longer a possible future. There was nothing at all.

And it was terrifying. Young Skywalker couldn't even imagine that this was possible. And that he had been lying to himself when he claimed he had conquered his fears.

He struggled to deny what he saw. And eventually, he managed to break free from the grip of the vision.

He found himself back in the same spot where he had been before the vision overtook him. He was breathing rapidly, inhaling the swampy scents of Dagobah. Large drops of sweat rolled down his face, and his flight suit clung to his body, despite how unlikely that actually was. He still held the lightsaber in his hand, gripping it so tightly that it seemed he might bend the hilt...

From his comlink came the frantic beeping of his loyal R2-D2.

"I'm fine," he said, not fully believing his own words. "Everything is fine..."

Skywalker paused, trying to collect his thoughts and remember what he was doing here in the first place.

"The signal," he said, still catching his breath. "Am I close?"

The astromech confirmed with a beep.

"Alright," Luke wiped the sweat from his forehead with his hand. "I'm moving forward. Stop me when I'm near."

He cautiously moved on, still reflexively gripping the lightsaber. It felt as if his prosthetic hand was locked up, the mechanical fingers unable to release the weapon.

However, nothing new occurred. It seemed the Force had shown him everything it wanted. Now, he could complete what he came to Dagobah for.

Hearing a beep from the comlink, Luke froze in place.

"Here?" He looked down at his feet, glanced around, then returned his gaze to the ground...

After a few minutes of digging through the dirt and rotting leaves, he unearthed a small cylinder. It was slightly longer than his palm, with five triangular buttons in a row. An engraving, clogged with dirt, was on the opposite side.

R2-D2 beeped in satisfaction, confirming that Luke had found what he was searching for. The Jedi Knight shook his head. He had expected something different, but even he couldn't articulate what exactly he had been hoping for.

"I'm coming back," Luke said.

The return journey took much less time. Not because Skywalker was eager to leave, but because he knew the way now and stayed focused.

It was dark outside. Even the faint light piercing through the mist and clouds had faded. It seemed he had spent a lot of time caught up in the vision. R2-D2 had already reached the X-wing, turned it to face the cave entrance. Luke climbed out, waving at the astromech as it rolled towards him, emitting a series of excited whistles.

"Everything is alright," Luke reassured him, crouching down in front of his faithful companion and handing him the cylinder. "What do you think this is?"

The droid's optical sensor flashed in different colors before it began to whistle slowly, almost thoughtfully. Luke, exhausted from the cave's ordeal, didn't interrupt, finding that his tired mind could understand the astromech perfectly.

"Are you sure?" he asked when R2-D2 finished. "I've never seen Lando with anything like this."

The droid chirped a reply.

"Alright," Luke concluded. "You were busy, I was busy. Let's get back to the ship and leave this place. We can visit Calrissian—he did invite me once."

He cast one last look at the cave. There was no reason to stay any longer.

Allowing R2-D2 to handle pre-flight preparations and take the ship into Dagobah's orbit, Luke felt mentally drained, as though the cave had sapped all his strength.

The astromech whirred questioningly.

"The Atega system," he said, naming their next destination. "Lando has settled on Nklonn, mining metals that the New Republic can barely afford, given the prices he's set. If possible," he hesitated, "could you handle the flight yourself? I need to rest."

The droid chirped in agreement. Grateful, Luke settled into his seat as the X-wing shot into hyperspace.

Despite R2-D2's promise, sleep eluded him, his thoughts repeatedly drifting back to what he had seen in the cave.

Ironically, it was those very thoughts that finally pulled him into a restless sleep.