Chapter 44: Purpose.

Time marched on unceasingly. Day and night were abstract concepts in this space without any change. It was an omnipresent dim light. Often times I could only hear the hum of the machines working and my own heart beating in my chest. The only thing keeping me mildly sane was Doc's near continuous breakdown of what was happening. Clinical and clipped, yet her voice always appeared when I began to sink deeper into the mire that was my own mind.

In a way, it was fine. It was clear to me, even with my severely affected faculties, that she wasn't trying to program me. Her words and questions were merely to keep me awake and aware. The constant changes in gravity became a norm. My body adapting to it in a way I never thought possible.

My body rippled, ki working to redirect the force and prevent harm. Even as the changes grew more severe, I received less and less damage. My food intake became ludicrous. The number of calories I must have been taking in every day would be enough to feed a small town at minimum.

The explanations for why I was doing this was clear, at least to me, but Doc explained her processes as time went on. If I had anything to blame it was my own Saiyan body being too adaptive. Slow and steady increases in gravity resulted in exponentially less gains as I ramped up the pressure. Due to my body adapting to the slow and steady increases. This adaptation was also harmful in that it limited my body's growth potential. Or so she claimed.

Instead, the rapid increases and decreases were like proper exercises. The smashing gravity forced my body to tighten and strengthen, whereas the sudden drops forced my body to rapidly decompress. The combination forced my body to adapt like never before. Everything about me began to change in ways I never thought possible.

I had thought the changes at first were drastic, but as it went on, I began to see how small the changes were before. Once gravity hit a certain point the air was almost like porridge. Every breath was like drinking down gruel. Even the blood in my veins would change to meet the new expectations, bones and muscles creaking and altering.

In a single instant, the pressure would reverse. The air growing light as a feather. The sudden change, much like divers in deep sea would face sudden issues. My heart worked less hard, but still carried the same force, the oxygen under immense pressure in my body rapidly decompressed. Blood would pour out of my pores at first and I would feel drunk, woozy from the sudden decompression. My ears would pop, and I would vomit.

At a certain point that stopped. My body adapted, now with every change no matter how drastic I could expel the pressure with an exhale. My body temperature skyrocketed as my body worked overtime to heal me through my injuries. Aided by the food that filled my every dietary need to perfection.

I even began to remove the weights from their compartments and use them. Doing various exercises with and without them. Some of the metals would bend under their own weight as the gravity rose and fell. Becoming brittle or breaking under the constant changes. To the near constant astonishment of Doc my body adapted, becoming stronger and faster. My highs and lows rising, my body density increasing at an absurd rate as my body shifted and changed.

Even my S-cell count saw a near constant rise, only stopping short of the theoretical amount for me to go super. Which is when I got an unwelcome notification. Some of my cells were mutated. Some brief testing showed that my evil ki had altered some of my S-cells. Meaning that hitting super may be harder than originally believed. The new cells that were simply called E-cells worked slightly differently. They stored a different kind of energy that when released healed wounds in the blink of an eye. They also functioned slightly differently, almost like emitters or transmitters for ki.

In fact, the cells played off each other strangely. S-cells converted my normal cells, E-cells converted S-cells, and at some point, the cells themselves evolved to become more efficient as my cell saturation hit the halfway point. It pointed towards a different kind of upgrade, perhaps an upgrade that occurred when my S or E cells hit super saturation.

Despite the pain, and the torture like conditions I had fun, no, not just fun, I began to take pleasure in the sensations. The pain and growth fueled my repressed needs. Feeding into desires I wished didn't exist. Which is why when the call came that we had a new job I was reluctant to even leave, but I could come back. It helped knowing that I'd get more from training if I sat back and let my body readjust. A way to let my body re-adapt to more stable conditions.

We spent a few days re-adjusting my body, letting my body cool off like you would a proper workout. The immediate outcome of my training was my weight. My weight nearly doubled, and it wasn't just hulking muscle mass. It became apparent during my training that not every muscle was getting the proper attention it should have, which it had under the higher gravity.

I had a picture-perfect swimmers build. Every muscle perfectly defined even more so than it had ever been before. My body was no longer crafted of stone, no, it was now a miracle of creation. Something that couldn't be replicated by the hands of men nor god. Everything about me was perfect. Even my hair, which I came to realize was strangely more resilient at times then my own body. Never did it ever bow down before the might of gravity, standing tall and resisting, yet only bending whenever I touched. Supple, silky, yet still so strong… It was strange. Saiyan hair.

Mundane metals were nothing in my hands. I imagined I could scoop up earth like it was clay. I don't believe I was at the point of being able to swim in the earth like it was water, yet. I imagine that I may hit that point eventually. Perhaps when I hit the cap for the gravity chamber.

Even with the unfortunate news of my S-cells no longer growing as fast, I found myself satisfied with the results. Dressing myself in my outfit, my form perfectly outlined in the white skin suit, my white boots pristine. Perfection made real. The moment I stepped out of my training chamber I faced a new experience.

Like an old master leaving closed door cultivation, what awaited me was a legion of trainees who bowed in my presence. Inwardly pleased I looked them over as I made my way through. Whoever planned this was definitely getting a gold star.

During the walk I did everything I could to contain my rampaging ki, but not before I heard a muttered phrase.

"She's a monster…"

I nearly laughed but stifled it as best as I could. I had an image to keep up. By the time I made it to the bridge I had managed to tamp it down enough not to accidently kill someone. A quick glance of the bridge showed all of the stations filled, with all the old crew acting as managers for each position. Helmsman stood in the center overlooking them all. He turned to look at me and nodded as he did something.

I took the moment to walk towards the captain's chair, now replaced with a fancier version of the chair I had in The Spite. A table was set next to it where my helmet lay. I calmly took my seat and waited for Helmsman to finish whatever he was doing before he came up to me.

"Feeling better cap?"

"Much." There was no need to hide that.

"That's good. We were honestly getting a bit worried."

I imagine he was, I looked over each member of the old crew, only to stop on a single strange member. She wore an oversized bear hoodie.

"Who is that?"

I pointed to the person in one of the overseer spots.

"Our weapons coordinator. Apparently, they hid in our old ship and did their job remotely from a hidden compartment."

Strange… Looking closer I saw she wasn't human, no, more like a bear girl? Weird…

"Either way…" I say to redirect the conversation. "What's the job?"

"It comes from our mysterious benefactors."

"The same ones that set us up with the research base job?" I mused while stretching out over my chair.

"Yes, the very same one." The ever-serious Helmsman simply continued on.

"How indebted to them are we?" I asked in turn.

"Very." I contemplated a moment. Letting my tail curl and uncurl.

"How common is it for pirates to be, contractors for these types of clients?" I ask after a good moment. Finding myself curious, and also strangely in need of conversation.

"Exceedingly." I nodded to his words and continued as normal.

"Anything I should know?"

"Nothing beyond the normal. The job they gave us is rather simple, if not worrying." His frown said it all.

An image of a large ship appears.

"This is a luxury cruise ship. We have been contracted to waylay it and board it. Apparently, a terrorist is on board planning to release a dangerous chemical onboard at one of their stops."

"Sounds too simple." I point it out.

"It likely is, do we take it?" He asked not out of concern, but perhaps something else. His eyes burned in anticipation. Likely to see what I would do now that they invested so much in me. A fair question, really. Would I just seal myself away and let the fleet rot. Or would I push on? Lucky for him, I never intended to stay locked up.

"Why don't we? Nothing wrong with playing dog if they give us meat. We just need to be careful that they don't lead us to the slaughter." Either way, something fun might happen.

My helmsman smiled at my words.

"Aye aye cap!" He even saluted with a smile on his face.

"How long till we get there?" I asked, musing if I had time for another mission.

"Not long." I frowned but knew I could at least watch my shows.

"Will it pay for the gas we use? I imagine a ship of this size doesn't move easily." I asked more out of idle curiosity.

"You'd be right cap, but the payment is excessively high."

"Is that a problem?" By his tone I could tell it was, but I still asked.

"Not when you consider the target."

"Need me to do anything in the meantime?" He gives me an odd look in response to my question.

"Not really cap, something on your mind?"

"No, not really. Just, our last engagement made me painfully aware of something. This?" I point to the large number of people and fancy monitors.

"I can't do this. Coordinating all these people, setting up supply lines or strategizing, or even commanding ships. I can barely wrap my mind around the sheer size of our ship often times." It was a painful realization, but one I needed. I wasn't a grand strategist. I was more or less a hammer.

"Perfectly understandable cap."

"I guess it is, but that really bothered me. Not knowing something, rather being so wholly out of my depth in regard to those things had been bugging me."

"And that's why you had that breakdown?" Had he noticed? I thought I left amicably enough… Then again, my tone must not have been good, and Doc must have said something. I don't remember much from then. It just felt likea haze really. No… maybe it was the long period I had locked myself away in my room? That feels more, right.

"I'd prefer not to call it a breakdown. Rather, I felt I wasn't making any real progress. I was struggling with the age-old question of should I stay or should I go. Like that song."

"Song?"

"Ah, right. Just an old song we had. Either way, I've decided for now that sticking with you guys is in my best interest." Wasn't often I made a reference like that aloud. Nor did they seem to question it much. Oftentimes, they just nodded and accepted my words. Odd. Is it because I come from a different universe? Or a new species none of them heard about and thus a different culture entirely? Perhaps…

"I'm glad you decided that. Honestly there is no way we could hope to operate this ship without you."

"You flatter me Helmsman."

"No, I'm serious cap. We wouldn't even have been able to recruit nearly as many people if not for you. Rumors of your strength have spread far and wide, not to mention how the instructor has been actively awakening peoples ki. This combination of factors had made us one of the more lucrative pirates in the whole system. Then add on the endorsements you've received from the Pirate Baron and that suddenly makes you our mascot and cash cow. The moment you leave we are likely done. Hell, we might even become a new named company, like the Jolly Roger's golden fleet.

"Didn't realize it got that big."

"Of course it would. Pirating is a rather closed community."

"Interesting to know, but there isn't anything? Nothing?"

He hesitates a moment before responding. "Could you possibly awaken our ki?"

I gave him a strange look, and he continued.

"I mean, most of the combat crew has awakened their ki at this point. Frankly, just looking at the numbers from the weight machines has our maintenance guys sweating bullets. In an actual engagement even, the weakest guy could wrestle an exosuit. And it occurs to some of us that if we keep letting them get stronger and stronger, we may fall behind or even be relegated to a second class…"

"Have you tried asking Master? Or any of his friends?"

"They're too busy and say they're not sure they can."

"Makes sense."

"So, can you? Awaken our Ki that is?"

I scanned the crew, noticing a few glances.

"I could, but… It wouldn't be worth it."

He frowned, but I spoke before he could get any strange ideas.

"Awakening your ki is like Prometheus and fire."

I see the questioning look he gives me, so I explain. I wasn't sure if they had those myths here, but that one was fitting in a way.

"Ki, is the ignition of all you are. Will, experience, health, mind, and soul. Every aspect of who you are given a physical manifestation. Like Prometheus the titan said to have stolen fire from the gods and gifted to man, I can do the same with ki. I can only do this due to just how absurdly powerful my ki is.

Most existences are barely able to ignite their ki. Almost like gaining exp for a game towards a level up. Every action and experience in your life adds up, until you get enough exp to level up. The issue is you need not only enough exp, but a big enough spark. Some people just need to see it to understand, like a huge pile of twigs during a drought.

Others, their experience is harder to ignite like a mass of soaked lumber, much like my master was. Igniting your ki will use up what experience you have, meaning you will need to rebuild that stockpile before I can attempt to do so again if you fail, which in my case you won't no matter how small the stockpile. The issue comes with time though.

Awakening and stoking the fire can take days to weeks of constant practice. If you don't, like an unattended fire it will burn out. From the moment I give you a light you will need to throw more into the fire with constant practice and work. You all combined have more than enough experience for me to ignite, but you lack the time commitment to feed the flame enough that it won't simply die of abuse."

A thoughtful look crosses everyone's face.

"Assuming we have a long break with nothing to do, would you be able to awaken us then?"

"Definitely."

I could see relieved smiles, and already see my Helmsman beginning to plot out their vacation. Then something occurs to him.

"Why is your ki so universal?"

"Meaning?"

"Well, from what we've heard there are groups that cultivate out in space. Yet, they always rely on talent and other odd things. Why is your ki different?"

An odd question. A valid one, but why was it different?

"I imagine it's because of a difference in purpose."

"Purpose?"

"I don't know much about these cultivators, but now I want to visit them."

A mumbled, "figures", echoes out. I ignore that.

"What I do know is that usually these cultivators focus on something stupid like going against the heavens. Which is pointless in the end. The greatest enemy you will ever face is yourself. Not the heavens. Instead of facing something as stupid as an abstract, I focus on who it is I want to be and the path I must take to become that person.

I walk, not to defy something, but to become the person I want to be."

I felt like that had something to do with it. Maybe… I wasn't sure. I didn't see myself trying to punch the heavens or becoming a god, not unless my path brought me there.

"And who is it you want to be?"

I tap the armrest of my chair as I think.

"I want to be someone, strong. I want the power to do as I please at the very least. I don't want to be held back, but I also don't want to be alone. I want to be recognized, but not bound by those deeds. I definitely don't want to be controlled by my power as well, free to choose when to use my power and when not too."

My Helmsman was silent, thoughtful for a few minutes.

"It sounds like, you want to be free, doesn't it? Unfettered?"

I scoff.

"I'm not sure. I'm not much of a philosopher."

"I don't know, I mean, when you're not blowing stuff up or looking for a fight you can be fairly deep."

"Hardly…"

I argue, but he doesn't continue. A silence falls over us as I think about what I want. Is it to be free? Unfettered? Isn't that ultimately a worthless goal? It wasn't like I was bound to fate. This world had no story as far as I could tell. No written plot like some stories had. In a way it mirrored life, pointless and empty. Then again, one could argue there was a direction. What with the director moving behind the scenes, likely moving stuff around, making changes and what not.

I didn't know. Maybe there was a direction, a purpose I was following. Or was I simply thrown out. Simple decisions and places placed in my way for me to decide on what to do. How would I know? How could I know?

What really matters though, at least for now. Is that I am making steps forward. That once more I'm marching forward, ever forward. Onward to the beyond, hands at the ready and my heart steeled for what may come. Or, so I hoped.