1 1

⌜ • ° + ° • ⌝

1. POLICE AND PISS

⌞ ° • + • ° ⌟

"Maybe if you hadn't been such a bitch and ignored me, we would be having nice rough sex in the bathroom back at the station right about now."

━◦○◦━◦○◦━◦○◦━◦○◦━◦○◦━◦○◦━

Park Jimin

"Hyung, can you please let me just leave? Yoongi hyung will throw a fit if I have to call him to pick me up. You know that."

"Maybe if you weren't such a nuisance and thought of that before vandalizing Mrs. Lee's mailbox, he wouldn't have to pick you up." Namjoon spoke obviously annoyed.

I get it, sure I spray-painted a dick on Mrs. Lee's mailbox because she gave me a bad score because I 'missed half of the test' because I was 'irresponsible and clearly hungover,' but it was funny. Besides, my fellow classmates would agree that she is a dick. You are what you eat anyway.

At this very moment I am contemplating calling Yoongi or suffering here with Namjoon's passive aggressive side comments all night, here at the police station after Namjoon caught me drawing a dick on my professor's mailbox. Namjoon has asked me if I was gay before. Now I bet he really doesn't believe me when I said no.

Namjoon is a police officer, and currently I am in university to pursue the same. You can see where that's getting me though.

"Now hear me out, if I make a break for it and book it back to my apartment and you so happen to lose track of me, I don't have to call Yoongi hyung."

"I already called him, so start preparing yourself to get killed tonight."

"Yah! You're an officer. You're supposed to protect me from getting killed."

In the midst of my whining, another officer pushed a beaten girl into the station. As soon as Namjoon noticed her, he sighed and made his way over to her, leaving me alone in my thoughts about 'accidentally' assaulting an officer and staying the night in a cell rather than being picked up by Yoongi. At least if I can manage until the morning, I can call Hoseok or something.

"Jiao, you really have got to take better care of yourself."

"Sunbaenim, it wasn't my fault." Namjoon sighs and pushes his hair back.

"I know. I know."

He leads the girl called Jiao over to the chair next to mine.

As they walk over, I get a better look at her. She's petite, has bangs, and shoulder-length hair dyed navy blue. I'd almost call her cute if she wasn't bleeding from scratches and could so obviously beat me up if she wanted. I don't know. She's hot though. She's probably out of a lot of people's leagues. Not mine of course. I'm a total babe. However, she wore black ripped jeans (not purposely ripped), a uniform black shirt, and black shoes. Her hair was tied back. She was clearly a bartender or sumn. Weren't bartenders supposed to be the ones to stop the fights though?

"Just sit here. Do you want to call Baekhyun hyung to get you?"

"He's working tonight, and Jackson oppa is watching the boys. They can't."

Namjoon sighs for like the gazillionth time tonight.

"I guess you're stuck with me until I get off work."

The betrayal. I get an angry fire cat called on me, while she gets to wait patiently.

"Hyung, how dare you take her home when I'm forced to wait for my impending death. Call that Bacon guy or something. This is favoritism."

"Jimin. No offence, but can you shut up? You gave me a migraine."

Migraine my ass. Who does he think he is? He's supposed to be my friend.

I look towards the girl hoping to at least get some action while I wait, but instead I notice her familiar features.

"Hey, you're that tiny Chinese girl that sleeps in class everyday, and refuses to interact with anyone."

She looked to me in confusion before realizing who I was. To which she just looks back in front of her.

Well, If she wants to be a bitch, then imma be a bitch.

"Damn, you're obviously here for getting in a fight."

"Should I feel insulted?" She asks, clearly already offended.

"Hell yeah. You look like shit, babe."

"How charming of you to say that."

"So did you win or did you get brutally destroyed?"

To that, I get whacked in the back of the head by Namjoon.

"Leave Jiao alone. She's been through enough, you narcissistic ass."

That whack must've really knocked some sense into me, because I got a brilliant plan to delay my death sentence.

"Hey, what if Hyung and I take her home? I mean we go to the same university, she can't live too far."

Namjoon scoffs, "Most certainly not. I'll take her after work."

It became silent after that. I looked to her and watched her contemplate the pros and cons of going with two strangers, before sighing.

"I have nothing against you, Namjoon sunbae, but I really do have to get home soon. If I don't, Jackson oppa will have to leave the boys alone. He has work too." She glances at me as if she's hesitant. How dare she be hesitant. I'm fucking hot.

"Well, then in that case, you should go with them. Although, are you sure you can't call anyone?"

The small woman looks down to think before looking Namjoon in the eyes and shaking her head.

"It's not like I'm worried about them trying anything. I know they won't. I just don't want to subject you to that torture." Namjoon speaks out to my expense.

She nods. How dare she agree with that. I'm a bubbly and lovely person to hang out with.

"Thanks for your valid concern, sunbae, but I'll be okay."

Listen, this girl is super polite and all, but she really gotta do me like that. Both of them are just insulting me right in front of my face. I'm wounded by their accusations.

"Listen, I'm right here. It's not like I want some girl, who got arrested for beating someone up, in a confined car with me."

She scoffs, "You offered me a ride. If anything, your friend can just bail me out and I can walk home."

A low chuckle came out of nowhere and scared the shit out of me. I knew exactly who it was instantly and that terrified me more. So much so that I almost pissed myself.

"No, no, I'm not this asshole's friend. Don't group me with him, Jiao."

What the hell? How does everyone know this girl?

"Yoongi oppa?"

"Nice to see you again. It's been a while. How've you been?"

"Obviously I've been better, but how are you?"

Yoongi laughed. This girl must have snuck drugs into him or something. What is this madness?

"Yah! How the hell do you know her?"

I shouldn't of said anything. Yoongi deadpanned towards me. He's for sure angry that I woke him up with my antics.

"She tried to shoplift once at a gas station I was working at the time, so instead, I payed for her. And then about a month or so later, I saw her again at a grocery store and she couldn't afford her groceries, so I paid again. That was like four years ago though."

Jiao sighed.

"Yeah. Not one of my proudest moments."

This girl is crazy. She is the ultimate deceiver. Like for real. I would never expect such a cute and polite girl to shoplift and get into a fight. She's ruthless. Maybe it's worth being gay so that I don't have to deal with these lies.

Namjoon pipes up. "Hyung, do you mind taking her home? She doesn't have a ride."

"For sure. No problem."

I am being betrayed a lot tonight. He gets mad at me for having him pick me up, but he's perfectly fine with a detour for some violent thief? This really is favoritism. Everyone is against me tonight.

Yoongi pats my shoulder. It was rather aggressive. Honestly, it hurt like hell, but he didn't care one bit.

"Come on Jimin. Let's get Jiao home, so you and I can have a talk."

"No way hyung. I don't wanna get in a car with that little mean gremlin and then be subjected to talking to you about dicks all night. This isn't how I wanted to spend my sunday night."

To that, the whole station went silent. Everyone watched me shocked and confused. Yoongi was calm, but I know his tricks. His eyes say that he's about to strangle me and feed me to the gremlin.

Yoongi grabbed me by the ear and began to drag me out of the station while that ow girl said goodbye to Namjoon before following us out. I was about to get into the front seat until Yoongi yanked me back.

"What the hell, Hyung? I'm just trying to get in the car."

"Nope. Maybe if you hadn't gotten yourself arrested and woke me up from my sleep, you would get the front seat."

Yoongi opened the back door and shoved me in before slamming the door, allowing the evil gremlin to take shotgun.

"Yah! She is causing you to take a detour and lose more sleep. She should be in the back too."

Jiao entered in her address to Yoongi's gps before he began driving.

"And subject Jiao to being alone with you in the backseat? Hell no. Who knows what your horny ass will try to pull."

"Fair enough, I did almost hit on her earlier."

Yoongi scoffed and flipped me off, almost colliding with the car in front of him. That reckless bastard is going to be the death of me.

"You did what?"

"You never hit on me. You told me that I looked like shit."

"And I wasn't wrong, babe. I said I almost hit on you. Almost. Maybe if you hadn't been a bitch and ignored me, we would be having nice rough sex in the bathroom back at the station right about now."

Jiao scrunched her nose.

"That doesn't even sound appealing."

"Hey, sex with me anywhere is appealing and heavenly. Babygirl, I'd make you scream my name so loud that Namjoon hyung would've heard you from his office."

Yoongi slammed on the brakes, causing my face to meet with the back of his seat.

"Can you stop trying to get into Jiao's pants? It's 1am and I don't think she would ever subject herself to fucking you of all people."

"Yeah, I'd rather break your dick off."

"I'm wounded by your words, guys. Tears are welling in my eyes at this very moment. I think I'm going to start sobbing."

"Okay drama queen."

Jiao giggled.

Okay, that was adorable, and I think it made me a little hard not gonna lie. I wasn't trying to get into her pants before, but maybe now I'll actually try.

The rest of the ride was relatively silent as I was too busy forming a plan to fuck this girl while she and Yoongi made small talk.

Suddenly, the car began to slow to a stop as Yoongi was quick to try and pull over while letting out a slew of not so family friendly words.

"Hyung, I gotta take a piss, so we better be at this girls house."

"No, but we only had three blocks to go. My car broke down. We are in the middle of a bunch of houses and apartment buildings."

"Then I guess I'm bouta take a leak on someone's garden gnome."

Jiao piped up.

"Actually, we are in the middle of gang territory. So you might want to hold it."

"But I'm not in any gang."

"Exactly, so what's stopping them from beating you up? Hell, I'd help them. Or at least grab popcorn and lawn chairs, so Yoongi oppa and I could watch."

Yoongi laughed at my distress from needing to pee. He was trying to find the issue with his car.

"She's got you there, bud. This seems to be your karma for waking me up."

That's when another one of my master plans came to mind.

"Gremlin, how far away is your house again?"

"Three blocks, but don't think I'm letting you come in. You'll be too loud, and you're obnoxious."

"Come on princess, I'm not that bad. Besides, it's only so I can pee, and then I'll leave."

"Hey Jiao."

We turned to look at Yoongi. Who laughed awkwardly.

"Is this a bad place to leave a car for a night?"

━◦○◦━◦○◦━◦○◦━◦○◦━◦○◦━◦○◦━