Sorting Ceremony

1st Sept 1991

Hogwarts

Soon, a lamp came bobbling over the heads of the students and a booming voice was heard, "Firs' years! Firs' years over here! All right there, Harry?"

A towering person came into view who could only be Rubeus Hagrid, Keeper of Keys and Grounds of Hogwarts. I was surprised, Robbie Coltrane had looked tall in the movies, but he had nothing on the person in front of me. Even the tallest of the first years barely reached his waist.

"C'mon follow me...any more firs' years? Mind yer step now! Firs' years follow me!"

A few minutes of following Hagrid later, the narrow path opened on to the edge of a great black lake, and we got our first glimpse of Hogwarts castle. The sight was mersemerising. Soon we boarded the boats sitting by the edge and set off. The little boat rocked along gently under its own power as Harry, Hermione, Neville and I floated across the lake towards the castle. Towers soared into the sky while down lower, lights shown brightly out of hundreds of windows.

"Watch yer heads, now", Hagrid's voice boomed across as the flotilla of boats approached a cave in the rocks below the castle. It was amusing to note that Hagrid was in fact the only one who needed to duck. We soon disembarked in an underground harbour and clambered up a passageway in the rocks following Hagrid, to come out at last onto smooth damp grass. A flight of stone steps later, we were standing in front of a huge oak front door.

Hagrid took a look around, and knocked three times on the castle door.

The door swung open at once. Professor McGonagall stood there looking over us with a stern face.

"The Firs' years, professor McGonagall", said Hagrid.

"Thank you, Hagrid. I'll take them from here."

She opened wide the door to the Entrance hall, which was absolutely enormous. The stone walls were lit with flaming torches, the ceiling was too high to make out, and a magnificent marble staircase in front of us lead to the upper floors.

We followed professor McGonagall past a room, which was most likely to be the Great Hall, into a small, empty chamber by the side. Here professor McGonagall gave us 'your House is your family' speech and tried to impress upon us the importance of house points and how winning the House Cup was a great honour. But the damage was already done. Thanks to me, at least 3 other students knew that the point system was nothing but a lot of tosh. Professor McGonagall then left us for a moment and the crowd broke out into nervous murmurs.

Then several people screamed when a bunch of ghosts passed through the back wall. I found the pearly white and slightly transparent ghosts interesting in the sense that they provided conclusive proof regarding the existence of the soul. Professor McGonagall soon returned and shooed them away. She then made us form a line and follow her through a pair of double doors into the Great Hall.

Now, I had read the books and I had seen the movies but neither compared to the sight in front of me. The Great Hall was lit by thousands of candles that were floating in mid air over four long tables, where the rest of the students were sitting. On the tables were laid glittering golden plates and goblets. At the top of the hall was another long table where the teachers were sitting. Professor McGonagall led us up here and made us stand facing the rest of the students. I looked upwards and indeed it seemed as if there was no real ceiling and the Great Hall simply opened up to the Heavens.

Professor McGonagall then placed a four-legged stool in front of us on top of which she placed a pointed wizard's hat, one that looked extremely old and dirty. At this, Harry, Hermione and Neville looked at me and I replied with a smug look that implied 'I told you so'. In the meantime, the hat had started singing -

I may be old and frayed

but don't let that betray you

stitched and bewitched

over a thousand years ago

The four greatest witches and wizards of the time

United by one single desire

The wish to inspire

and help young minds.

So, a place of education

was the creation.

The founders four

Helga Hufflepuff of valley broad

Rowena Ravenclaw from the glen

Godric Gryffindor of wild moor

Salazar Slytherin from the fen.

From these noble names

four houses were born.

Gryffindor, which houses the bold and brave,

Ravenclaw selected those filled with cleverness,

Hufflepuff welcomed the loyal who loved to toil

Slytherin chooses only those who are pure.

Their differences are what defined them

Together they stood, never to be divided

but what brought them together

soon sought to tear them apart.

Battles were fought

over Hogwarts

soon the time had come

for one to depart

So four became three

Which house will it be?

Put me on, and I will see.

The entire hall burst into applause as the hat finished its song. It bowed to each of the four tables and then became quite still again.

As I was listening to Ron Weasley talking about killing his brother for fooling him into believing that he would have to wrestle a troll, my mind was seized by another thought. In both the novel and the movie, Draco Malfoy accosts Harry Potter before the sorting but that didn't happen today. Perhaps I had already started changing 'canon' unknowingly.

By meeting me and my family, Harry didn't get to meet the Weasleys, so Fred and George never knew that Harry Potter was on the train and couldn't spread the information. Hence Malfoy never heard it and didn't come to bother him. Also since Harry was already sitting with three other people, Ron didn't try to enter a 'full' compartment. I was jolted from my musing when professor McGonagall started talking.

"When I call your name, you will put on the hat and sit on the stool to be sorted," she said.

"Abbott, Hannah!"

A pink-faced girl with blonde pigtails stumbled out of line, put on the hat which fell right down over her eyes, and sat down. A moment later..

"Hufflepuff!" shouted the hat.

"Bones, Susan!"

"Hufflepuff!"

"Boot, Terry!"

"Ravenclaw!"

"Brocklehurst, Mandy!"

"Ravenclaw!"

"Brown, Lavender!"

"Gryffindor!"

"Bulstrode, Millicent!"

"Slytherin!"

"Carter, Benjamin!"

Well, time to face the music. I gave my friends a small nod and calmly walked to the front before sitting down on the stool. As soon as Professor McGonagall placed the hat on my head, I could hear another voice.

"Ah, been to the other side, have you? You have my condolences and my congratulations."

"You don't seem surprised," I thought.

"Lad, I have been around for a thousand years and every year, I sort magical children in a magical world. Do you really think reincarnation is anything new to me? On the other hand, I am glad that you were a learned man. That means new stories for me. And there are so many in here. Alright you are a grown up and you have obviously given this a fair bit of thought, so I will tell you what. Show me a story and if it puts me in a good mood, I will send you where you want to go."

"Alright, that seems pretty straightforward," I thought. I had started reading early on in my past life. You could even say I was a bit of an nerd. But I soon found that novels could no longer sate my appetite. Anytime I found a good one, I would finish it too quickly and then reread it, because most of them aren't that long. That naturally led me to FanFiction, which brought me to the crossover genre. I really liked that because it opened up a whole slew of possibilities to resolve impossible situations.

So in this situation, I remembered a fanfic I had really enjoyed. It was a crossover of the Harry Potter and Marvel verses. Harry Potter was a muscle head with Thanos as his mentor, Dumbledore was a stoner with Fawkes as his smuggler and fellow stoner, Hagrid was his muscle. The story was called 'Does Voldemort even left, bro?' In particular one paragraph came to mind -

Albus missed the Quidditch match that afternoon. Fawkes had just gotten back from America with a shipment of peyote and the two of them were stoned out of their gourds. He was laying around in his underwear and contemplating the idea of what it would be like to live among the penguins during the next vacation.

Maybe he could name one of them Gunther.

The Great Hall was unusually quiet given the number of occupants, but this was understandable. After all, the sorting ceremony was progressing, a solemn affair that will decide the future of all the new faces that had gathered here tonight for the first time. Because teachers and students alike were paying rapt attention to the proceedings, almost everyone realised at the same time that something unusual was happening. The sorting head was doing its job as usual when it started twitching. Then it started shaking. Before anyone knew what to do, the sorting hat opened its mouth and...

"AHAHAHAHA.....Oh Merlin! I can't! I don't have lungs, but I feel like I can't breathe. Gunther!? Hahaha..."

It took a while for the hysterical hat to calm down, all the while the rest of the audience sat slack-jawed watching something they had never witnessed before.

"Oh, very well then", said the hat after having finally regained its stoic demeanor. "Better be, RAVENCLAW".

I stood up from the stool, took the hat off and placed it down, before walking over to the Ravenclaw table and taking a seat while the rest of the students were doing their best impressions of a gaping fish.

"What?" I asked.

The entire hall jerked as if they had been in a trance and professor McGonagall called out the next student.

I had chosen Ravenclaw by the process of elimination. First of all, I would never go to Gryffindor. It is the house of traitors. First year, Harry loses some points - get lost,Harry. Second year,Harry is a parselmouth - get lost, Harry. 4th year, Harry's name comes out of the goblet - get lost, Harry. 5th year, Harry says voldemort's back - get lost,Harry. Yeah, thanks but no thanks.

Next, Slytherin. Going there would instantly give me a bad rep. If someone sees me reading a restricted book, I would be labelled as 'going dark'. Hufflepuff is nice but they are too nice. Because of their teamwork attitude, I won't be getting much privacy. And I plan on visiting a certain room on the 7th floor quite often. Taking everything into account, being an eccentric ravenclaw was my best bet.

Knowing what was to come, I was prepared to wait out the rest of the sorting. And so naturally, the universe decided to punish me for my arrogance by throwing a curve ball.

"Granger, Hermione!"

"Ravenclaw!"

I looked on in shocked silence as Hermione Granger joined the Ravenclaw table. Yep, canon is truly and utterly eviscerated.

"Congratulations, Hermione", I said, as she sat down next to me. "I am glad you could join me, but I thought you want to be in Gryffindor?"

"Well, the sorting hat insisted that I would do really well in Ravenclaw. And since you were already here, I decided to take its advice", she said, with the shrug.

Thankfully, the rest of the sorting proceeded smoothly. Both Neville and Harry joined the Gryffindor table, although Harry was a bit of a hatstall. At one point under the hat, he looked really desperate, probably arguing with the hat not to put him in Slytherin. I wasn't surprised, an orphan would need cunning if he wanted to survive in a hostile environment. I gave them both a big smile and a thumbs up. They grinned back, waving cheerfully from where they sat.

Once the sorting was over, Professor Dumbledore stood up to say a few words. "Welcome", he started. "Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts! Before we begin, I would like to say a few words. Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweek! Thank you."

I have always wondered if those were the names of Hogwarts house elves, but those considerations went away as various dishes appeared on the table. I was always well-fed, but I have never been to a banquet. I filled my plate up and listened to the conversations around me as I ate.

Of course I didn't touch the vile substance they called pumpkin juice. Seriously, pumpkin juice!? Pumpkin is not even a proper fruit. I drank some water instead and made plans to visit the kitchens ASAP.

At the Gryffindor table, Nearly headless Nick was displaying why he got his namesake. Ron Weasley was sitting with Seamus and Dean and talking quite animatedly. Maybe this time he would become close friends with someone who wouldn't inflame his Inferiority Complex all the time.

Eventually the food disappeared and dessert took its place. I helped myself to some Butterscotch ice-cream and a Chocolate Eclears, while listening to Hermione asking some upper-year girl about classes. I glanced at the Gryffindor table and saw Harry put his hand on his forehead. I looked at the High Table and although Snape was looking at Harry, Quirrel's turban was also facing in that direction. So it seems Voldemort was trying to take a peek. Looks like I will have to be careful about what I tell my friends.

At last, the desserts too disappeared and Professor Dumbledore stood up from his chair.

"Ahem - just a few more words now that we are all fed and watered. I have a few start-of-the-term notices to give you. First-years should know that the forest on the grounds is forbidden to all pupils. And a few of our older students would do well to remember that as well. I have also been asked by Mr. Filch, the caretaker to remind you all that no magic should be used between classes in the corridors. Quidditch trials will be held in the second week of the term. Anyone interested in playing for their house teams should contact Madam Hooch. And finally, I must tell you that this year the third floor corridor on the right-hand side is out of bounds to everyone that does not wish to die a very painful death."

After that grim proclamation, Dumbledore urged the students to stand up and sing the school song. Moments later, we followed the Prefects to Ravenclaw tower. I tried to memorize the route we took, as we would need it from tomorrow onwards.

The entrance to the Ravenclaw common room was on the west side of Hogwarts. At the top of a spiral staircase, was a door without a doorknob or a keyhole. But there was a bronze knocker in the shape of an eagle that asked a riddle for gaining entry to the common room.

"Don't worry if you can't get it, though. If you fail to guess the riddle, it will sound a bell to alert those inside to come let you in. The professors couldn't let a student's inability to answer come between them and attending classes, after all," said the fifth year prefect Penalope Clearwater, as we entered the common room.

The common room was circular with arched windows hung with blue and bronze silks, and a midnight blue carpet covered in stars was directly below the domed ceiling. The room was furnished with tables, chairs and book cases, and by the door leading up to the dormitories stood a tall statue of Rowena Ravenclaw made of white marble.

"The boys dorms are on the left, while the girls are on the right. Beware that boys are not allowed in the girls dorms and there are measures to make sure you stay out", Chester Enfield the male Prefect carried on the introduction. "Breakfast starts at 7:30 in the morning. We will be available to escort you to the Great Hall at 8, where you will get your schedule for the year."

He closed with "You will find your luggage in the rooms assigned to you. Please make sure to store the clothes that you want cleaned in the cupboards provided to you because any items in your trunk or luggage will not be taken out. Any questions?"

I looked around and saw that all the first years looked dead on their feet and none of them seemed interested in asking questions at the moment.

"Alright, if you have any questions at anytime, just come find one of us Prefects and we will help you as best as we can", Penelope finished up. "Now, off to bed the lot of you."

I looked over at Hermione. "Good night, Hermione. See you in the morning."

"Good night, Ben", said she, before a yawn silenced her.

I walked up to a door with my name on it and found my luggage on the bed, a four-poster one with blue velvet curtains. I was pleased to see ravenclaws indeed got their own room. In fact with space expansion charms, every student could've had their own room. The only reason I could think of, was that the professors thought they needed to be 'social', as if 10 months a year at a boarding School wasn't enough socializing time. I changed into my pajamas and got into my new bed. Soon I drifted into a dreamless sleep.