Chapter 1097: Father and Son (Twenty-Six)_1

Howard fell silent for a while. After a few dozen seconds, Shiller asked, "Is that all you've concluded?"

Howard thought carefully again and then said, "I'm not a person who pays much attention to my emotions, so I'm sorry, I can't provide many reference factors."

"That's okay," responded Shiller without minding. "The vast majority of people don't have the ability to clearly analyze the cause of each and every one of their emotions and their potential consequences."

"Most people, when they feel uncomfortable, always find it inexplicable. They might grasp a general reason, like being bothered by something or someone, but it's challenging to analyze in detail the cause-and-effect involved. They also fail to predict the repercussions of such feelings."

"If everyone could examine their emotions in such intricate detail, there wouldn't be so many people suffering from psychological disorders. In fact, most psychological diseases are the result of unnoticed or unattended emotions piling up in one's heart."

"Therefore, experiencing inexplicable negative emotions all of a sudden within a certain period is quite normal."

Shiller, without looking at Howard, picked up his wineglass and started contemplating the liquid within:

"Many people consider human psychology as something mystical or magical. Whenever they suddenly feel melancholic, they tend to suspect some mysterious factor influencing them."

"But in reality, emotional logic is one of the most rigorous branches of logic. It functions like a precise transmission system, where the movement of each part triggers other components."

Shiller then tried to explain the topic in a way Howard might easily understand:

"However, the composition of each person's emotional logic system differs."

"For some people, the whole system consists of just five components. When the first one moves, the fifth one does so immediately. When they focus on the last moving part, it's relatively easy to analyze why it moved."

"In essence, if there are only five components, even the exhaustion method, checking each one by one, can give a rough estimate."

"But, some people's systems might have fifty thousand components, divided into several parts, all intertwined with physical engagement and maybe even remote signal control."

"In such cases, when one component moves, the final result could be another component moving half a year later."

"When the last piece moves, if one tries to find out why it moved, they would be utterly perplexed."

"Because, even the most brilliant person, without professional training, cannot trace back the cause from the final piece to one out of tens of thousands."

"Many psychological conditions actually arise from emotionally sensitive individuals with a complex system of thousands of components who, one day, find out that a lot of their negative emotional components have started working continuously. Yet, when they follow these negative emotions backward, they find nothing."

"On one hand, they suffer from negative emotions, and on the other, they feel lost because they can't find the cause of these negative feelings."

The whole time, Howard listened attentively, his gaze fixed on Shiller's eyes. However, for Howard, Shiller's examples were so clear and simple that they were easy to understand.

Shiller finally moved his gaze from his wineglass back to Howard's eyes: "Do you think that the negative emotions you suddenly felt that night were due to the information you received throughout the day? But it might not necessarily be the case."

Howard's eyebrows ruffled, while Shiller, looking into his eyes, stated very seriously,

"It could very well be the result of tens of thousands of components working together. The process might have been more complex than you think, and the first component might have been set into motion way earlier than you think."

"How did you come to this conclusion?"

Howard's finger tapped on the armrest, the room's atmosphere turning a bit tense. Apparently, the discrepancy between their conclusions turned their relationship from patient and doctor to opposing debaters.

Howard thought that his feeling of distress that night was due to feeling guilty about his sudden rebirth. But Shiller pointed out that the negative emotions Howard experienced that night might not have emanated from what occurred during the day but possibly from an earlier point.

"I believe you have an understanding of logic too," Shiller said, still maintaining his calm, without showing any urgency to prove his point. He first acknowledged Howard's capabilities, then began,

"However, if that's the case, do listen to my hypothesis. If any part of it seems illogical to you, feel free to interrupt and debate. I won't be upset."

Howard blinked his eyes and said, "So, therapists can accept patients challenging their diagnoses? I thought you strictly operate on the principle of 'you talk, I listen' scenario, and that I cannot speak until you are done."

"Mr. Howard, I think you've overestimated the capabilities of the patients I deal with. In reality, patients who sit quietly and listen to me all the way through are few and far between."

A look of helplessness crossed Shiller's face as he continued, "Among all the patients I've dealt with, you rank towards the top in terms of intelligence, patience, and emotional stability."

Howard nodded, looking at Shiller's expression, he knew, he must have many stories. But he was more concerned about his own issues, so he started talking: "You may speak, Doctor. I will listen carefully."

Shiller nodded and started his inference.

"Let's start from the consequences. First, you believe the source of your emotions is the guilt towards family and children. Thus, to analyze these emotions, naturally we cannot leave out the circumstances of family and children."

"The situation of the Stark family is not complicated. The early death of parents left an only child. In general, these few words summarize your situation."

"You feel, due to your untimely departure, you missed a certain stage of Tony Stark's life, causing him anguish and depression, leaving him to endure a period of extreme sadness. But now you are back unscathed; you think this is unfair to Tony."

Howard nodded, this inference was correct. It basically summarized what he thought was the cause of his negative emotions.

"So, next, please answer my question. You can speak the truth or disguise it, but please answer according to your first intuition." Shiller pulled out his medical record book and started to record.

"The first question, before your death, you should have been suffering from severe alcoholism for a considerable period of time. I assume that during that time you were alive but were not able to accompany Tony Stark at all. During that period, did you have similar negative emotions?"

Howard narrowed his eyes and started to recall, but after a while, he shook his head and said: "Alcohol destroyed my sanity and made me lose almost all of my complete memory. Therefore, I genuinely do not remember if I had similar negative emotions."

Unexpectedly, Shiller didn't question further, but raised another one: "Rolling back the timeline, before you started drinking heavily, did you experience similar negative emotions?"

Howard cast his eyes aside, recalled briefly and said: "...probably not."

Shiller nodded again. Howard felt that if he followed this logic, his assumption would be correct - when he was accompanying Tony, he didn't have this kind of feeling. So, didn't these negative emotions originate from the guilt of missing the chance to accompany him?

However, Shiller had no intention to affirm his thoughts. He continued asking, "Then when you were with Tony, did you have any other negative emotions?"

Howard's expression suddenly stiffened, but soon after, he shook his head and said: "No, there were hardly any negative emotions. Those are beautiful memories."

"Almost none, so there were some?" Shiller asked.

"I'm human, I'm unlikely to have only one kind of emotion. Even when I'm with my son, I'm sure I would have various worries." Howard spread his hands passionately and explained.

"Such as?"

"Such as annoying business competitors, pressure from scientific research innovation, minor disagreements with Maria and so on." Howard gave a few examples intermittently, all very ordinary affairs.

"Then kindly tell me, when you were with your son, doing something together, about how long could you only focus on him and never think about these worries?" Shiller asked again.

This time, it was more difficult for Howard to recall. It seemed that he had thought of some answers, but didn't know whether he should speak. After a while, he grudgingly said: "A few minutes perhaps."

"Alright, let's push the timeline even earlier. When Stark Industries was in its prime, and Tony's age was very small, about how long were you able to focus purely on playing with him?"

This time, Howard was silent for a very long, long time, about five or six minutes. His face gradually became serious, obviously realizing that the answer was not as he expected.

Only when Shiller gently knocked on the table did Howard come back to his senses. He looked into Shiller's eyes and said:

"When Tony was very small, too young to understand much, I could even play with him for five or six hours, forgetting all my worries, never recalling any annoying matters. Those were the happiest moments of my life."

Shiller nodded again and said: "Then, please tell me, when Tony was a child, and after he had grown up, how did the number of worries you were facing change? Did they increase?"

Howard fell into a long silence again, after several minutes he finally said: "No, quite the opposite."

"When Tony was still very young, Stark Industries had just started, and I was under a lot of pressure at that time, not even knowing what the future would look like..."

"And before I was entangled by the military, Stark Industries was flourishing. I was very successful, and at that time, I had almost no competitors. Even work wasn't so busy."

The more Howard spoke, the more serious his face became, finally turning grave. He quietly asked: "...why?"

"Why when Tony was small, I loved him so much that the time I spent playing with him became my solace to get through the painful days. Yet, after his growth, we could not talk about a topic for five or six minutes without me recalling those annoying works?"