Chapter 45: A lonely awakening

*Ring ring* *Ring ring*

The alarm started to ring inside my room, making a very loud and annoying noise.

"Uh… what is… this…?" I said while slowly opening my eyes.

I was still half asleep.

"Shut up…!" I yelled softly while turning off the alarm.

"Five more minutes…" i said after yawning and returning to sleep.

For some strange reason, i was feeling that something was missing, but i was too sleepy to think straight.

"Mm…" then, i drifted to sleep again but not even the time to close my eyes that my heart felt a little squeeze and i felt my breath skipping.

"Ah..!" I exclaimed while waking up.

I placed a hand on my chest and i noticed that i was sweaty and my heartbeat was actually rapid.

I opened my eyes widely and then rubbed my eyes.

"…! Ema…!"i exclaimed with a whisper while rapidly looking on my left.

There was no one.

No sign of Ema.

I felt a sense of deep void inside my heart.

I patted the other side of my bed where Ema slept this night and then i took a look at the alarm.

It was 6:40 A.M.

I had to get ready for school.

Then, after slowly standing up from my bed, I remembered what happened that night.

I had an argument with Ema.

She confessed her cheating on me and… we broke up.

We had sex for last time like a goodbye.

No words could actually explain my feelings during that.

More than that, i didn't even set my alarm on. Ema probably did that.

I was worried about her and i rapidly dressed up, wanting to know where she was.

I also noticed that her clothes were no longer in my room.

Everything about her presence here disappeared.

But still, i wanted to know where she was.

Then, i picked my phone up and noticed a message notification on it.

The message was from Ema.

"Fumihiro, you'll read this message when you'll wake up.

I just wanted to say "Thank you" for all the beautiful moment, all the beautiful memories and everything about us.

From now on, you'll be a free man and i hope for you to live the best life possible, far from someone like me who's only going to ruin your life.

I love you and i always will.

P.S. if you're wondering where i am, i just called Kanna to pick me up here, im going home.

Dont search for me , dont text me. It will only hurts us and everything that we were.

Once again, i love you.

With love, Ema."

That is the last message that she sent me at 5 A.M.

She went directly to her home with Kanna.

But after remembering what she said , I wondered if she was really with her sister.

After reading everything from her message, I felt a strange pain around my heart, reaching the deepest parts of my soul.

It was an unbearable pain.

"Was there really nothing I could have done to improve our situation?" I said while dropping my phone on the floor and squeezing the middle of my chest, like i was trying to grab my heart.

That message was really painful to read.

It was over.

My relationship with Ema, my dreams, my marriage, everything was over and destroyed in a matter of seconds.

"Am i the wrong one?" I kept repeating in my mind.

I then picked my phone up again and put it in my pocket.

I took a rapid look at the alarm and saw that it was 6:56.

Ten minutes were already passed in a second.

"Why… to me?" I mumbled, while sitting on my chair next to my desk.

"I don't want to go to school today." I added.

Then, while i was about to take my clothes off, i heard a small knock on my door.

I turned my attention to it.

"Who's there?" I asked with an annoyed tone.

"It's your mother. Can i come in?" She asked.

"Yeah, do as you wish." I said with a sigh.

Then, my door slightly opened and my mother came in with a beautiful breakfast.

Chocolate croissants, chocolate milk and freshly baked cookies were being served on a tray.

My mother smiled warmly at me like nothing happened tonight.

"Good morning to the first man of my life!!" She said, while placing the tray on my desk.

I was pleasantly surprised by that gesture but there surely was something more than that.

"Mother, you know it, right?" I asked with a cold tone while looking down on the floor.

She softly let out a small gasp before replying to my question.

"Yes, I know." She said while nodding her head.

Her smile turned into a little frown of sadness.

I then looked to my mother's eyes and noticed that they were a little bit red.

She probably cried about what happened to me and Ema, or maybe she cried because how much all the events hurt me.

"It's okay, don't worry. It's better now than after our marriage.." I replied, trying to "cheer up" my mother.

My mother lowered her gaze for a second and the she let out a slow sigh.

"I'm probably sure that Ema didn't really cheat on you. She's not the type." My mother added after looking at me again.

"Well, the person that almost lived here was probably a mask." I said with a disappointed tone.

"Don't worry, Fumi. You'll get together with her again." My mother said with a sad but cheerful tone.

"Mh… I-" my voice got interrupted by my phone ringing.

"Uh? Who is it?" I said while picking the phone up.

Then, i saw who was calling.

"It's Suzuki." I said to myself.

"I'll leave you for now. Just finish your breakfast , okay?" My mother said before going out of the room and closing the door.

Then, i answered the call.

"Hello?" I said.

My voice was the same of a guy who actually lost his will to live.

"Fumihiro-Kun! Good morning!!" Suzuki replied with a happy tone.

"Good morning, Suzuki." I replied back, but not with the same passion.

"Are you coming to school now?" She asked.

"Yes, im coming today. I must. I also have to be Evangeline's tutor." I replied with a normal tone.

"Oh!! I'm glad to hear that!! See you at school then~!!" Suzuki said.

I could feel her happiness through the phone.

I couldn't help but smile a little after hearing her gentle and pure voice.

"Yes!! See you at school, Haruka!" I said , before hanging up the call and putting my phone into my pocket.

After that, i finished to prepare myself for school and I ate all the breakfast that my mother prepared for me.

Everything felt empty and it was like i had a big hole into my body.

Something was missing and i knew that it was Ema.

I couldn't help but feeling like this.

I've never experienced a breakup like that before… and i could actually be sure that it hurts a lot.

The pain of a betrayal, the moment where everything broke into milion pieces right before my eyes…

"I think I'll remember these things forever"

I felt like I didn't want to go out anymore and i wanted to be alone in my room forever, talking with my soul.

I am my best friend , that's for sure.

Maybe I was a horrible boyfriend for her… maybe I didn't have the strength to be brave enough to tame her but… i didn't care.

My life totally changed in that moment.

I decided to totally close my heart to people.

I wanted to be.

I needed to be alone for a while.

After getting everything ready for school, i finally left the house after greeting my mother.

"Let's hear some music now, I don't want to hear the loud noise of people." I said to myself, before putting my earphones on and listening to some cool music.

Of course, i was listening to sad music. My favorite genre.

I didn't know why, but even in my compositions on piano, I always used to make sad or emotional melodies.

I never asked myself why i never made some happy music.

I remember that morning when I left the house.

The sun wasn't there to greet me as always and the weather on the city was really cloudy.

I took a little gaze at the sky and took a deep breath before asking a small but deep question.

"Why me?" I asked with a glimpse of sadness echoing through my voice.

Then, i started to walk towards the school with hands in my pocket.

That day wasn't hot as always.

You could even say that i felt cold.

During my walk, my gaze was sticking to the floor, not wanting to see other people's faces.

Everything around me was feeling no sense.

A deep feeling of void was filling my heart, leaving me thinking about lots of things.

I kept walking and walking like i was alone in the streets.

It was not different than usual.

In this world we're all strangers.

We know nothing… not even about our beloved ones.

I could hear the mumbles of the crowd behind me walking and talking.

The people were smiling at each other.

"Why are they smiling?" I asked to myself.

"How can someone smile while someone is dying right in front of their eyes?".

These were my thoughts.

Painful to say.

"Let's turn up the volume…" I said with a sigh before turning my earphone's volume to max.

After that, i kept slowly walking to the school.

Then, i "finally" arrived to the school gates.

All the other students were cheerfully entering to follow the lessons.

"Why do they look so happy ?" I asked in my mind.

Suddenly, my thoughts were stopped by a familiar voice calling out to me.

"Good morning, Aoyama-Kun!!" The voice said.

I was surprised.

It was Itou-San, the school's janitor.

He smiled warmly at me.

All i could do was smiling back, for education.

"Good morning, Itou-San!" I said , trying to be cheerful.

"Oh, it's so great to see you! I heard you've been in hospital. Are you feeling better now?" He asked with a very worried tone, like a father.

I nodded at him, trying to reassure him about my condition.

"I'm okay now, thanks for asking. Now if you excuse me, I'm going to enter now…" i said before bowing at him and walking inside.

"Take care, Aoyama-Kun!" He replied.

I didn't say anything back.

All i did was walking straight into the classroom.

And then, i was already walking trough the corridors.

I didn't even meet Benjiro or Suzuki.

While walking , i felt someone tapping on my shoulder.

I turned my head to see who was it and my first instinct was to say "Em…!"

I thought that it was Ema.

That was her way to greet me.

But instead , i saw Evangeline, who was smiling lovingly at me.

I was really surprised to see her and after seeing her face, i felt my soul calming.

"Good morning, Fumihiro-Kun!" Evangeline said happily.

She had a small blush on her cheeks.

I could feel the happiness in her voice.

By instinct, i smiled at her.

Evangeline had the unusual power to make everyone smile.

"Good morning, Evangeline." I said.

She had her arms behind her back.

"How are you feeling?" She asked while taking a look at me.

"I'm fine… thank you for asking." I replied while scratching the back of my head.

Evangeline chuckled lovingly a little before replying back.

"Don't lie to me, Fumihiro." She said. "I'll ask once again: How are you feeling?" Evangeline added with a direct but soft tone.

She really saw trough me.

I was surprised.

I couldn't lie to Evangeline.

"Well… I'm not totally okay, but I don't want to talk about it." I replied with a sigh.

"That's okay. Everyone can have bad days. We'll have fun later, don't worry." She said, trying to cheer me up.

"Later? What do you mean?" I asked, confused by what she said.

"Oh? Did you forget already? Didn't Suzuki tell you that we're going to the arcade later? She said that you accepted!" Evangeline replied.

I totally forgot about that.

"You're right… but you see… I really don't feel that I want to- Uh!" my voice got interrupted by someone wrapping his arm around my neck, almost taking me in a chokehold.

"You really don't feel… what?" That voice, a mix of anger and superiority was the one of Benjiro.

I tried to break free from him but he was too strong.

"I can't breathe…!" I said, trying to break free from him.

"So you're coming with us, right?" He said with a malicious tone.

Evangeline, on the other hand, was laughing playfully.

"Okay! Okay! You won! I'll come! But let me breathe now!!" I said.

I was almost on the verge of suffocating.

"Correct answer!" Benjiro said with a proud tone, before releasing me from his grip.

After that, I felt like i was finally alive again.

I took a deep breath and then i sighed.

"Okay… you got me." I said with a fake playful tone.

"We'll have lots and lots of fun, i swear!!" Benjiro exclaimed.

"This is going to be a stressful day…"