Chapter 128

When we all got to the room, I was surprised when my guys just stood and looked at me. They weren't saying anything, just staring at me. I started feeling uncomfortable. 

"Umm… I… I think I'll take a shower now."

I turned to head to the bathroom.

"Stop. Do not move." Loki's voice was hard and stern.

I turned and arched an eyebrow at him. "Excuse me?"

"I did not stutter or was I unclear. Do as you are told. Do. Not. Move."

"Ok, I'm not sure what this is, but you need to remember something." I walked closer to him as he narrowed his eyes at me. I was now out of a playful lusty mood and straight into pissed off. I stopped directly in front of him and glaring up I poked him hard in the chest. 

"You are my love, my heart, my soul. My lover, my friend, and to me, my husband. But you are not my keeper nor are you my boss or my father. I do not take fucking orders from you. I am not a minion you can just order around or someone beneath you. I have ALWAYS considered you my equal. I refuse to be anything less. You want a docile tame plaything to follow your orders, find another girl. Because I sure as shit am tired of men telling me what to do. I didn't let Dean do it and I sure as FUCK will not let you do it."

I didn't realize my eyes were blazing green and shiny from tears of anger. "So, sorry boys, but for tonight, instead of fun, all I have to say is FUCK YOU AND FUCK OFF!"

I pushed past them and left the room, slamming the door. I willed my clothes to change to my jeans and my favorite hoodie. I went down the hall to Tony's room and knocked on his door. 

"What's up, Kiddo?"

"Can I borrow a car? I need to get out of here. I just need… to drive. I'll take good care of it, I promise."

"Sure Kid. Here, something tells me you won't want the R8. Take the '68 Mustang. I know you like speed and I'm thinking you need that right now. You can drive a stick shift, right?"

"Yep. You don't have to worry about me griding gears Dad, trust me. Oh, can I ask for something?"

"Anything, Kiddo."

"Can you get me a motorcycle? I ended up using mine to kill a Werewolf right before I got here."

Tony smiled. "Absolutely. Now go for your drive. Enjoy."

I nodded and went to the garage. I quickly spotted the Mustang and took a moment to admire her lines. She was a beautiful car. I got in and heard a roar as the engine came to life. With a grin and a shifting of gears I peeled out of the garage and sped off into the night. 

I drove aimlessly for hours. I was seriously hurt and upset. I hated being told to obey. It brought up bad memories each time. I was glad for the speed because I was trying to run from my past, run from the hurt. I looked around and saw I had ended up where Loki had taken me for our date. The gazebo was still there but it was dark.

I got out of the car. With the crashing surf in my ears, I went to the gazebo. I sat on the floor and with a thought made the lights come on. I sat and stared at the water for several hours, just trying to process everything. How had it gone so wrong so fast… again. Eventually, I felt someone come up behind me.

"Pet?"

I sighed. "What do you want, Loki?"

He had come and sat quietly down beside me, wincing as I said his first name, not a nickname.

"I am sorry. I should not have spoken to you like that."

"Then why did you?"

"I am not sure. I was extremely aroused during your dance but then when Rodgers refused to give you back, I saw how it had aroused others. I was angry with them, even though I know it is male nature. No, I do not think anger is the right word. I was jealous. I did not want anyone to take you from me. And I took that out on you. I did not understand what I was feeling, and I was trying to understand it when you went to leave to shower. And I knew I didn't want you to go. But instead of asking as I should have, in my distraction, I commanded you instead. I realized just after you drove away that you had done the dance for us. For me. That you didn't give anyone else a thought.

I do not know why the other two did not stop me. Bucky told me that he and Thor realize and understand that I mean the most to you. They see how you always turn to me first." He gave a wry smile. "He also told me I was a fool and that I need to learn to think before I speak." He looked down then looked at my face. "I have never needed anyone in my life before, and now I find myself needing you desperately. Even when you yell at me and frustrate me, I need every minute with you. It does scare me as it leaves me open to hurt, but I would not lose you for the world.

Please forgive my thoughtless words. Sometimes I am so caught up in you that I do not guard my tongue. Please, my sweet?"

I turned my head and looked at him. He looked so miserable. I knew he didn't mean to hurt me, and I knew he didn't really understand my reaction. I sighed and leaned over and kissed him softly. His face transformed into relief and happiness. He shifted and put his arm around me, and I leaned into his side. Together we watched the waves.

"It was more than anger, Lokes." I whispered to him, my voice barely heard over the waves. "It was hurt, fear, pain. I was always told to obey. To do as I was told. If I didn't, it gave them an excuse to beat me harder. Hearing the words 'Do as you're told' makes my blood run cold. I use anger as a front to hide it."

He held me tightly and used his free hand to tilt my face to look at him. "I'm so sorry, Ariane. I would never have uttered those words had I known. I will never speak them again, even in anger or jealousy. I correct myself. I will only say them if it means saving your life."

I gave a small smile. "Deal."

He kissed me gently and it soothed my fear. I felt his startlement when I suddenly changed the kiss into something passionate and needy. When it ended, we were both breathless. I stared into his eyes. 

"I love you, Lokes. I hope I haven't hurt Bucky or Thor with my stronger need of you." 

He shook his head. "They assured me it did not, and they completely understood as I was your first. They are more than happy as they can feel how strong your love for them is."

I moved to my knees and shuffled closer. He had to move his legs to allow me to kneel between them. I framed his face in my hands and let my eyes rove over his face. He sat patiently. 

"Everything about you is so dear to me." I traced my fingers over his face. "These high cheekbones, your straight nose," I gave the end of his nose a gentle tap and he smiled. "Your lips that are soft and feel like no one else's. Your mouth that tastes like heaven. But your eyes, they're so beautiful. They're like the clear blue waters of the Caribbean. I could drown in them forever. They hold so much. Love, pain, joy, sorrow. All joking aside, your eyes are my favorite part about you. To see the love shining from them, to have them being the first thing I see every morning. With you, I feel that no matter what happens, I'm always strong enough to face it."