SELF BLAME

VIVIAN'S POV

Two weeks had slipped by since our return from that fateful trip, and life had taken a nosedive. My emotions were in shambles, rendering me incapable of focusing on anything.

The haunting memory of that ill-fated night replayed incessantly in my mind, casting a dark shadow on my days. It marked the turning point in my relationship with my boss, transforming it into a relentless barrage of humiliation in front of my colleagues, a daily spectacle.

Lying in bed one restless night, I reached a breaking point. Sleep remained elusive as I grappled with the injustice of it all. Nature, with its deceptive tranquility, seemed to mock my turmoil. Why couldn't I find true happiness? I was trapped in a cycle of tears and self-blame, tormented by circumstances that might not even have been my fault.

With a surge of anger, I rose from my bed and reached for a pen and paper. My fingers trembled as I began to draft my resignation letter, the culmination of my frustration. This letter was going to be my grand exit, a testament to the pain my boss had inflicted upon me. I poured my heart into the words, leaving nothing unsaid. I recall one fiery line: "Take your arrogance and your company to hell."

In that moment, the letter felt like a cathartic release, a declaration of independence from the torment I had endured. It was a simple act of defiance against a toxic environment, a chance to regain control over my own life.

The following day, I decided to let the morning come to me without rushing out of bed. My alarm remained silent because I no longer wanted to confront the harsh reality awaiting me. My phone revealed ten missed calls, all from my boss and James.

Arriving at the office, I wore a dress that caught everyone's attention, but I paid no heed to the curious glances. My sole purpose was to summon the courage to change my life. I couldn't continue living in agony, blaming myself for something that wasn't my fault. The man who had inflicted this pain upon me, he was wealthy and held a position of power within our community, thinking he could wield it however he pleased. This was not just disheartening; it was a stain on our humanity.

"Good morning, sir," I said softly as I greeted him. He didn't respond or even glance in my direction for what felt like an eternity.

"Pack your belongings and leave my office immediately, never to return," he finally uttered. Even at the brink of losing something precious, he couldn't muster a shred of compassion. Perhaps he believed he had plenty of alternatives.

"You can't fire me, Mr. Norman. In fact, I resign. Here's my resignation letter," I declared, placing it on his desk. He fixed his malevolent gaze upon me, then I looked away.

"What's the meaning of this?" he inquired. I didn't utter a word as I picked up my bag and prepared to depart.

As I reached the door, he called me back with a tone dripping in cruelty, "I promise you one thing, you will never find a job anywhere in this pack, never. Cheap slut." His last words echoed in my mind, igniting a simmering rage I had carried for far too long.

With a burning resolve, I couldn't restrain myself any longer. I retorted, "Maybe I should remind you how many girls you've been with, then you'll realize who the real 'slut' is here. You ungrateful hypocrite. Karma will catch up to you eventually." My steps carried me closer to his desk, determination in every stride.

"Fool! You believe in karma? Well, you'll be waiting forever," he sneered, his words a final blow. I turned away, tears stinging my eyes, and left his oppressive office behind.

James wasn't around; he had gone to visit his ailing mother in the hospital. I felt a pang of relief for him, knowing that Vinicius, that despicable man, would have likely driven him away as well if he could.

What possessed Vinicius to think I would remain in a place where his malevolence ruled was beyond comprehension. His arrogance matched his stupidity.

Seeking solace, I ventured to a nearby store, intent on drowning my sorrows in wine. The weight in my heart felt unbearable, and at that moment, I cared little for the consequences, even if my life hung in the balance.

The relentless thump of my music barricaded the world beyond, a sonic fortress that shielded me from reality's painful blows. My heart ached, yearning for words to echo my inner torment.

"It's a realm ruled by toxic might, where the mighty reign supreme. Toil earnestly, amass your strength," crooned the lyrics, their siren song seduced by the allure of opulence. I rejected them, for I could not bow to the intoxicating aura of affluence.

The next song descended like a tempest, its thunderous cadence forcing me to the floor, where I crumpled in its auditory embrace.

"I dwell within the confines of my mind, imprisoned by relentless despair,

Though tears may cascade for eternity, evil persists, an endless affair.

Sanity teeters on the precipice, it's time to release the reins,

Yearning to voice my truths, fearing the aftermath's stains.

I wish, oh how I wish, I'd never been cast into this world's abyss,

Why did fate decree my parents' union on that fateful night of bliss?"

My tears flowed unbridled, and I whispered reassurances to my trembling soul. But self-condemnation had already seized control, a cruel puppeteer of my emotions.

"I must depart, flee this realm of sorrow, and forge a new self afar," I murmured to myself. The specter of my parents' fate loomed ominously in my thoughts, a reminder of the abyss I sought to evade. Just then, a resounding knock reverberated through the door, an unwelcome intrusion into my sanctuary.

I didn't respond at first because I owed nobody and also didn't want to see anybody, and I bitterly said; "You all are evil, go away."

I knew the person wouldn't hear it because of the loudness of the music. The knock became heavier and also threatening.

"Who could that be? Who?" I asked as I struggled to stand up.

I staggered as I slowly moved to the door, the key trembling in my hand as I opened it and it was my neighbours.