Chapter 55

Ah~...home sweet home.

Or…Right outside Kuoh home sweet home, I suppose?

Original home sweet home?

Eh, one of those is probably more accurate than the others, but regardless, I'm back in my estate just outside Kuoh Town.

I have to say, the foliage grew back really well since my first fight with Vali all those months ago.

In fact, I might say it grew a little too well.

When we got here, the place was slowly being encroached upon by the forest.

If we had given it another month or two undisturbed, the place probably would have started to look like one of those stereotypical anime spooky abandoned estates.

In any case, it was a simple fix with Senjutsu to stop the forest from foresting my old house.

Kuroka took care of it because if I had done it, I'd have probably just given the forest a boost.

Yet despite that being the case, I lay on the living room couch, staring up at the ceiling lights.

I may as well be dead to the world.

I pretty much am.

While fixing the whole forest invasion was simple, what wasn't, was writing up an employment contract.

It wasn't the act of writing it up itself that did, no, it was the sheer amount of stuff shoved into the damn thing that turned my monkey brain into a smooth orb of gray matter.

Look, before I showed up here? Barely even knew how to do my taxes. In America.

I sure as hell don't know how taxes work in Japan!

Also, if that wasn't enough, there are supernatural taxes and other shit like it to take into account!

It's all Inari's fault, I bet. Fuck that fox.

In the end, I had to rely completely on Rose there to help draft something out.

The fact she even knew half of what she was talking about, because I sure as shit didn't, convinced me even further that Odin is a buffoon and Rose deserves all the things.

Which is why I spared no expense with the final contract. I had Rose looking like she saw Genesis with the amount of money I threw at her.

Granted, amongst her job includes essentially being Kuroka's babysitter, and although I know for a fact the cat isn't anywhere near as bad as Odin…yeah she's still compensated hell and back for that.

Speaking of, the cat was there for the making of the contract as well, and she had even less of an idea of what was going on than I did, of course.

Yet still, she of course insisted on a certain thing…

Uniform requirements.

That's why those two aren't here right now. They're currently hitting the market district for a 'suitable' outfit.

And by 'they' I mean Kuroka is dragging Rose around, essentially. Last I saw, the poor girl was still in a daze after reading over the final contract several times.

As a side note, Kuroka didn't read it, and so doesn't know she has a part-time babysitter now.

I wonder how long it'll take her to find that out?

Speaking of that specifically, I'd usually think twice about making Rose stay around that cat more than necessary because she's a corrupting little feline, but I can trust Rose to not easily fall under her whims.

When it comes to a job, Rose does take those very seriously after all, so I don't have worries there.

Though, off the job…

Ah, well. I'll see how it goes.

For now though? I'll just lay here, rest my head, wait for the girls to get back…

And try, very very hard to not think about the whole…thing with my being unable to mention Him properly.

Partly because if I think too hard about it, I'll probably get another nosebleed.

But also because, and there's no real point in lying, but it's honestly…kind of fucking terrifying.

Somehow, someway, I can't even think about a simple name–

I forcibly slam the breaks on every train of thought going through my head.

I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and let out a long, low sigh.

No point, Nori. You're getting worked up over something that's done.

All that you can do now is try to find answers.

And besides just straight up walking right into a Church base demanding such things, which probably wouldn't even work and could start an incident, Metatron is your best bet.

Skip the Church. Go straight to one of the Seraphim.

That's assuming we can even find the ninja, assuming the Seraph is still doing his thing.

What with Heaven's odd absence, I'm not so hopeful, but it's still a potential shot.

Tomorrow we'll be heading out to look for the old guy when the sun's all out and everything.

Just in case.

Also, it should make finding a full-on ninja easier.

Trying to do that in the middle of the night sounds like a great way to start craving death again.

I'll be honest and say, I don't exactly remember much about where the guy can be found.

The events wherein the gang met the guy were in a side story, so it's not like I paid the greatest amount of attention…

What I do know is, we'll be looking for an old guy, and I also know he's in an abandoned building…somewhere.

That's about all I got.

…If I'd known this particular side story would turn out to be more important, I'd have probably spent less time focusing on all the girls in kunoichi outfits.

I quickly shake my head from all that.

Once again. No point in getting worked up over something that's done.

With a huff, I sit up on the couch, trying to think of…anything else.

Luckily, I got a couple of things.

One, that makes me grimace, I still need to visit Saji's siblings.

I know they're okay, it's why I haven't been the most…proactive, with fulfilling that self-promise. It was one of those things that got swept up under everything else.

The Devils had taken care of them, last I heard from Uzume way back after the Grigori got broken up.

Apparently, they found them a home, but still, I'll check by real quick to make sure everything truly is okay.

Second thing. Kuroka and Shirone got dates, now I think it's about time Suzaku got one.

…At this point, I'm not going to question the sex happening before the dates anymore.

Anyway, yeah. I've got a bit before the 'Hero' Faction shows up in force.

I don't think it'll take forever to find this ninja. Difficult? Sure. But Kuroka and I's combined abilities should eventually be able to at least find his home.

That'll give me plenty of time after to take her out for a night on the town. It's only fair after all.

Now that thought, legitimately makes me smile, finally.

And just in time, too, as my door bursts open with such force I'm shocked it didn't fly off its hinges.

"Ohhhh darling~! Nyah~!" Kuroka's voice comes through, but not her form, at least not at first.

No, instead…Kuroka comes in second, behind the poor girl she's pushing in.

Rose in your stereotypical sexy secretary outfit, tight shirt and skirt, leggings, dress shoes.

The poor girl's cleavage is practically spilling out of her shirt, I'm honestly surprised her tits haven't just burst out yet!

"I brought home your sexy secretary, nyah~!" Kuroka exclaims, far too proudly.

And with far too many shopping bags dangling from her arms, might I add.

"S-S-Sexy!?" Rose exclaims in response, stammering all the while, before whirling around to face Kuroka, "You s-said this was a traditional uniform for Japanese working women!" She accused the cat, scandalized.

"Oh, but it is! nyahahaha~!" Said cat proceeds to cackle, victoriously.

I merely gave the scene a chuckling sigh.

It's already begun, huh?

~ A New Sun ~

The next day rolls around, and we are on the hunt for a ninja!

…By walking around one of the many abandoned districts of Kuoh.

Seriously, why does this town have so many abandoned spaces?

"Ninja~! Nin-Ninja~! Where are yoouuu~? Nyah!" Kuroka bounced around at my side, sing songing excitedly along the way.

Rose meanwhile, was far less animated, arms crossed under her bust as she walked normally at my other side.

She looked almost like she was pouting, probably because of the whole outfit shenanigans Kuroka pulled last night…and tried to pull this morning.

Right now, Rose is wearing a long dark coat over a black and white striped shirt, a very short jean skirt, and simple dark slip-on shoes.

Not too long ago, Kuroka was trying to get Rose to wear a short top version of her current shirt, a pair of incredibly small jean booty shorts that I was astounded to learn even fit the girl.

But wait! There's more! She also wanted Rose to pair it all together with a v-string thong and stockings!

Yeah. I took one look at all that and damn near kicked Kuroka out of the house for going too far.

Privately, as long as Rose is for it, I don't care what they get dressed up in. But trying to get Rose to walk out of the house looking like a hooker?

Yeah, no. Line drawn. Rose clearly didn't want to, and I'm not letting that happen.

Hell, even now, I'd say her skirt is a tad too short. Though whether that's the product of Kuroka's 'tastes', or everything sold in this town being lewd, I have yet to determine.

Regardless, I still laid down the law with the cat. It wouldn't shock me if Rose is still a tad miffed about it all, I wouldn't blame her one bit.

I gave Kuroka the side eye as she kept bouncing around.

Seemingly having sensed my gaze upon her only after a few moments, she finally looked my way, her bouncing faltering as she looked my way.

She quickly shut it soon after, an ashamed frown spilling across her face.

At least she knows she took it a tad too far this morning and does seem to genuinely feel bad.

Beyond that though, it kind of left everyone in a bad mood this morning.

This has led to the atmosphere since we left being kind of this palpable, tense, sort of sad type of feeling.

I don't know exactly how to describe it, but it feels weird, and I don't like it!

I'm trying to think of something to say or to do to help clear the air around here, but honestly, I'm still just a tad pissed at the cat.

That's making it kind of hard to be anything but a grouch right about now…

"S-So…Um…"

I blink, as to my side, Rose meekly starts speaking up, prompting both myself and Kuroka to look over at her.

"We're looking for a ninja, right? Are we sure we'll be able to even find them?" Rose begins to ask, her expression becoming serious, "Back home, I heard that the Ninjutsu used by Japanese Ninja surpassed magic, so I don't know if I'll be of any use…"

I stared down at her, blankly.

My mind had legitimately blanked out for a second.

To my opposite side, I hear Kuroka hum in…agreement!?

"When I was living in the Underworld, everyone thought pretty much the same, nyah!" Kuroka explained, "They were really popular because they had extraordinary powers!"

That…No.

That's not right.

Ninjas, or Shinobi, were just people who got really good at spying, disguising, and assassinating.

Sure, in a world where the supernatural is real, it wouldn't shock me if some of the historical ninja techniques could be attributed to magic or something like that, but for the most part, they're entirely mundane.

…Hold on, does the entirety of the supernatural world have an exaggerated almost American-like view of ninjas?

The hell?

Well, now I'll feel bad that I have to burst their bubbles, but seriously, how does that even happen?

With a sigh and shake of my head, I interject, "There's no need to worry, Rose. As far as I'm aware, Ninjutsu isn't better than magic," I look over at Kuroka, "and they don't have extraordinary powers or anything like that."

Though, now that I'm saying it out loud, it feels kind of odd.

I know martial arts clans exist, and particularly possess supernatural capabilities.

Yet the ninja here…don't? They're normal?

Yeah, that's kind of odd.

Kuroka huffs and pouts at my words, "Well that's no fun at all, nyah!"

Rose's expression slowly morphs into a sad frown, "I don't know whether to be elated or disappointed, but if that's truly the case…why seek out this ninja at all?"

"It's less so for him, or his Ninjutsu, and more looking for who I heard he was training." I elaborate easily, "Even then if said student turns out to be gone or non-existent, it's not as though Ninjutsu would be entirely worthless. It's just not some uber-strong power, more like a set of techniques to help with stealth, espionage…that sort of thing."

"Stealth, huh…" Rose hummed in thought at that, while Kuroka perked up.

"Ah~! Darling? Kunoichi, Female Ninja, is still a thing, riiigghtt~?" She pressed, leaning against my side.

I have a sneaking suspicion I know where this is going.

With a sigh, I mostly confirm, "Yes, Kuroka, they did. Maybe. Probably."

Kuroka tilted her head to the side, "...Maybe? Nyah?"

See, if I recall correctly, historically, kunoichi weren't really a thing. They came out of pop culture.

But here, in this world?

Well, look at all the extremely sexy and voluptuous girls just walking about.

I can't not see Kunoichi existing to take advantage of that here, it just fits too well.

Hell, the ninja master guy from the side story that we're looking for even has kunoichi outfits just lying around, a bunch of them.

For some reason.

That all just so happens to fit every single girl perfectly.

Although whether they're historically accurate, or a weird fetish thing, I can't remember.

With this world, it could honestly be either, but I'm leaning more toward a fetish thing.

That fits more.

Or even more likely, it was plot fiat so we can get a picture of a few girls in sexy kunoichi outfits.

…I should really stop trying to make sense of this world in my head at this point.

I end up waving Kuroka off with a, "Most likely, yeah. It just makes sense to me."

Kuroka took that answer with a small sultry giggle, "I do hope you're right, nyah~..."

The naughty cat is planning shit again.

Even Rose can sense it, as she snaps out of whatever thought she is having to give a nervous, "E-Eh…?" In Kuroka's direction.

Don't worry Rose, I'll protect you from her corrupting influence as best I can.

"Anyhow!" Kuroka suddenly pipes up again, "If ninjas really aren't as fantastical, finding this guy should be easy, nyah!"

"...Kuroka." I slowly began, voice deafening with just how dead it sounded.

"Eh? Darling? What's wrong?" Kuroka suddenly seemed much less enthusiastic.

I don't deign her with a proper response, instead asking another question in turn, "...Why did you have to say that?"

"Nyah…?" Kuroka just seemed even more confused.

Rose watched on, just as perplexed as Kuroka, it seems.

But they'd learn, alright.

They'd learn…

~ A New Sun ~

Sometimes, I wonder.

Is Murphy a god in this land? Some mythological figure?

Is his wife Jinx, friends Gilbert, Falkland, and Wilson? Fellow gods in the pantheon of 'Why are we here? Just to suffer?'

All day. All fucking day. We wandered about, looking for either the old man ninja master, or his place.

Couldn't find it.

I blame Kuroka for invoking the pantheon.

On the bright side, it was kind of nice taking two attractive girls to breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

It's not like we spent all our time hunting, after all, just most of it.

In the end, though, we still came up empty-handed.

"How can one town have so much abandoned infrastructure…!" Rose damn near ranted, albeit incredibly tiredly, leaning against my side, "Not even the old parts of Asgard are left so…unused!"

…I can't tell if she's mad at the inefficiency, or the fact that we haven't found the guy yet.

"Mmmmmm!" Against my other side, I feel a groaning hum before Kuroka lifts her head from my ribs, and looks at me, "I jinxed it, didn't I, nyah?"

"Yes." I confirm simply, "Yes you did."

Kuroka, promptly, buried her head back into my side and continued holding onto me.

Right now, we're squatting in a legitimately perfectly fine warehouse before heading home.

Sure, it's a little empty and dusty, but otherwise? Place is perfectly usable.

We're resting up against one of the walls, I'm staring off into space, Rose is muttering under her breath about…property taxes…and Kuroka is whispering apologizes.

So all in all, a very fun and productive first day.

Ughhhh…first.

I am not looking forward to repeating this day, possibly several more times.

Honestly, if it comes to that, I might just inform Rias of the ninja's existence.

Easy money on her finding the guy by the end of the day with her sheer zealousness alone.

"I'll admit, I'm a bit…perplexed."

Flames burst from my hand, forming a sword of scorching fire that I immediately pointed at the source of the new sudden voice.

Kuroka and Rose had only stilled by the time it was all done before they slowly followed the direction of my flaming sword toward its target.

An elderly Japanese man, looking like he came straight out of ancient times, wearing incredibly traditional clothing.

A kimono with the haori overcoat, hakama pants, tabi socks, geta sandals and all.

Needless to say, in a modern crowd, this guy would look very out of place.

Despite the sword of fire pointed at his throat, he doesn't appear surprised at all he holds up his hands, placatingly, seemingly having expected this.

"There is no need, Lord Kami, please, I come in peace, and I apologize sincerely for sneaking up on you all." The old man bows slightly, as much as he can anyway, what with my fire sword in front of his face.

…He says that, yet despite standing right in front of me, it's almost like he's not even there.

His presence, his aura, is muted.

…A part of me hopes this is the guy we've been looking for but on the other hand…

"...You've been following us. All day. Haven't you?" I was more so accusing, than asking.

"Not all day, truth be told." The old man answered, before elaborating, "The black-haired girl over there caught my attention when, during rush hour, she was walking around shouting and calling out if anyone had seen a ninja." He followed up with a good-natured chuckle.

Oh yeah, Kuroka did do that. She was desperate and hungry, so she went around and did that for a little while until Rose and I came back with food.

For a second, Kuroka looked down, a tad embarrassed, before she fully registered what the old man had said.

"Wait, nyah! If that caught your attention, then does that mean…?" Kuroka trailed off, expectantly.

The old man nodded, "It's a pleasure to meet you all, I am a Shinobi of the Iga Ryu, Momochi Tamon, from the immediate family of the Iga Clan."

Kuroka suddenly began practically vibrating in excitement, and Rose's eyes widened in astonishment.

I, meanwhile, sighed and dispersed my sword of flames, prompting the old man, Tamon, to breathe a sigh of relief.

"Thank you, Lord Kami." He places his hand upon his chest, and bows, fully now.

I wave him off, "Please, there's no need for such formalities. I'm most just curious…you said you've been following us after Kuroka got your attention, yeah? I assume that was to get our measure?"

Tamon raised his head, and nodded to me, "Correct, Lord Kami. Nobody besides the Iga should know I'm out here, so I wondered what your intentions were…by your auras, I could tell you weren't normal humans, though I admit it took me shamefully long to deduce your exact being, Lord Kami."

"I'm not a specific one of the gods, old man, though I am of them." I nod my head to him, "Noriaki Kusanagi, the Arahitogami."

"Ah…?" His eyes widen, as though remembering something, "I have heard of you, from the main clan. Though I haven't been keeping up to date with much of the current goings on…that's for the Clan to keep track of, not some retired old man."

I chuckle at that, accepting it with a "Fair enough." Before putting my hands on Kuroka and Rose's heads.

"These are my girls, Kuroka, Nekoshou." I look at said black cat, "Rossweisse, former Norse Valkyrie." then sweep my gaze to said silver-haired foreigner.

Kuroka waved like a very overexcited child, "Nyah! Hello ninja!"

Rose, meanwhile, locked up, "'M-M-My'...!?" She parroted back at me with a stammer.

I, pointedly, ignored her.

Tamon chuckled, and waved back at Kuroka, "Hello to you too." He said back, before continuing, "Now then. I revealed myself because I was sure you didn't mean any harm…but as I said, I'm perplexed, because I don't know what you could want from this old man?"

"...I heard you teach Ninjutsu, don't you?" I followed up his question with one of my own.

Tamon rubs his chin, and takes a seat before us, "Yes, I do. Ah…were you three perhaps looking to learn Ninjutsu?"

I hum in agreement, "Partly. The other part is, I also heard you have been, or had, taught a particular student."

At that, the old man tilts his head in confusion, "I have taught many in the past, you will have to be more specific there."

As I go to answer, I pause.

In the past?

"Any students recently?" I ask, quickly.

"Recently, hmm? Like within the last few years?" He asks for clarification, I nod, and he shakes his head, "No, none. You three are the first to seek me out in a long while. Why do you ask?"

…Fuck.

No Metatron, then.

In fact, it seems he just never showed up.

Why…didn't he?

Did Michael just not allow it? Did he somehow find another teacher!?

Or is there something...else, there.

I withhold a shudder, and shake my head, "Just curious, is all…seems what I heard was false. With that out of the way, I suppose we only looked for you for training, after all." I bow my head slightly toward him, "If you'll have us."

Tamon hummed thoughtfully, "It has been a while, but…ah, well. Here."

I lift my head, only to quickly have my hand raise as well, catching a small business card that he tossed to me.

"It's a little late to start Ninjutsu training so late, especially after you all ran around all day looking for me." Tamon slowly rose back onto his feet, "Visit the address there tomorrow morning after a good night's rest, and we'll see about training, alright?"

He bowed, and I returned the favor with a forward nod of my head.

When I look up, he's gone.

I snorted, going to look at the business card, "Show off…"

"Nyah! Ninja stuff!" Kuroka exclaimed, pointing at where the guy was.

"...say, N-Nori?" Rose spoke up, shyly.

Heh. Cute~!

"Yeah, Rose?"

"I thought you said that Ninjutsu wasn't extraordinary…?" She asked, cutely perplexed.

"That wasn't Ninjutsu, that was closer to Senjutsu." I answered her absentmindedly as I read over the card, "He was muting his aura, his presence, down to nearly nothing. Then after that, he just moved silently very fast."

Rose pursed her lips in understanding, "Ah, I think I see…Uh? N-Nori!?" Before suddenly becoming much more…concerned.

Why? Well.

I probably look dead inside right about now.

In particular, I give a thousand-yard stare upon the address listed on the card.

Turns out? The guys live on the abandoned outskirts, just barely within the town itself.

It also turns out, he's a couple of minutes' flight away from my place, because of that fact.

Ahah…

"We're getting you two very sexy kunoichi outfits on the way home." I suddenly deadpan out, absolutely seriously.

"Eh!? V-Very sexy!?

"Ohoh~? Very sexy, nyah~? Are we starting our kunoichi training tonight, hmm~?"

"H-Hey now! What's with that look on your face? And what do you mean by 'our'!? What t-t-training!?"

"Oh, sweet innocent Rose-chan~! Nyahahaha~!"

That should, at the very least, make today worth it.

When all is lost, monkey brain making neurons fire off shall, hopefully, save the day!