Get Me Out of This Hell-hole! by DeusExTranshuman

Words: 158k+

Links:

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/12533655/1/

( One does not simply fall into a new realm. They are often punted, head first, right into the deep end. This statement couldn't have been more true for me, especially when I woke up during orbital descent in a baby's body... I hate my life... )

Chapter 1: Fuck you, ROB!

"DA FUCK!?" Can the question as I sudden woke up within a small metal cylinder even as I looked on and saw what looked like the weirdest techno-colour I had ever seen in my entire life. However, what made it worse was the blatant disregard for the laws of reality I was forced to observe from within the tube, the sounds of colours, the sights of tastes, even the faint scent of what could only be described as emotions. I felt myself growing pale and could even see myself growing green in the face.

Reaching out with my hand, I touched the screen before me as I tried to figure out what the hell was going on.

"This has got to be a dream... This has got to be a dream..." I repeated multiple times as I tried to find out just what was going on, even as I tapped the sides of my container and pinched myself, feeling the pain... But failing to get up. My eyes widened in horror at that.

"Ok... So, not a dream..." I noted absently before I felt something, like an instinct coming into play as I suddenly glanced in a particular direction before going pale at what I saw. For outside the window of the cylinder, I saw a red-skinned creature, it's body looking like solidified flames while it looked like a classical picture of a devil, a pair of goat-like legs, horns, a long tong, fangs and an insane and demented look in its black eyes. The creature spared my pod but a glance before it floated onwards to something else, either not caring or not seeing me as the unreality before me shifted as I watched it tear open before the cylinder was dragged through. Through the tear, I saw a world below, barren and utterly dead, covered in rocks and with what looked like spires of metal sticking through. I blinked at that, wondering how my eyesight was so good as I blinked again at what I saw.

Those weren't spires, they were starships...

It only added to my troubled thoughts as I suddenly remembered that strange being I had seen before my face, if at all possible, grew paler still. I had finally realised where I was, muttering the name as I was pulled through what I knew to be a Warp rift.

"... Why did it have to be Warhammer...?" I whimpered slightly as I was yanked through the event horizon of the rift.

That was only the beginning of my problems.

XXX

Ok, so, it appeared that I was in something of a pickle...

Basically, I was a Primarch.

In hindsight, it wasn't that difficult to see, what with me being a baby stuck in a massive test-tube that was yanked through the hell-realm known as the Warp, this was especially obvious after I had whacked my way out of the metal container I had been locked in, even leaving hand prints in the walls of it, but it left me with the question of just where the hell I was.

I, while being a fan of 40K lore, was not the most knowledgeable about the settings, I did not know the timeline and locations like the back of my hand, so I couldn't say one way or another where I was, merely that the place was a barren dust ball with a thin atmosphere, countless valleys and ravines, and what looked like the half buried hulls of countless ships sticking out from the ground. Some of those same ships were either gutting straight out of the ground, sterns pointing for the sky or were sticking out at odd angles. I had landed near a cliff edge and had the chance to look down only to falter as I saw how deep the valley really was. Looking at it, I saw dozens more ships of different designs scattered through the cliff walls as I saw the darkness grow deeper the further I looked.

Hell, I could scarcely think that, even with my impressive eye sight, couldn't see the bottom of the massive crack in the planet's crust.

"Bloody fuck..." I muttered to myself, mentally wondering just how I was going to survive this bullshit.

XXX

CRACK!

Well, turns out that surviving on this dust ball was actually a bit easier than I thought it would be. Three months in and I already had a decent system of things going for me, especially as I pulled open a door on a decidedly Human-looking ship, it's features making it rather clear that it was an early Imperium ship, probably lost on the way out of the solar system. Still, for what I needed, it served it's purpose rather well.

Pulling the door fully open, I smiled as I looked inside and saw the dozens of crates, each one was marked with the Aquila of the Imperium along with a complex barcode-like designation that was written on the side of every crate to compliment the stamp on the sides that designated the contents. Truthfully, I had found that, while I didn't actually need food, nor did I truly feel hunger beyond an intellectual level, I still developed fastest after eating regularly. As a result of that, I had, with the help of Primarch Bullshit, grown to being almost 1.29 metres tall, well muscled and toned for a body my size and with strength that was well beyond what a being of my proportions should have. I had already scoured a fair bit of this ship for rations and food that was still good, finding little, but still looking as a result before something had happened that had lead me to this room.

While walking down the corridors of the ship, or climbing them, as it were, I felt something twitching at the back of my mind, it was an impulse to turn left at one junction followed by going straight at another before turning right at a third. Things had followed a similar line after that, eventually leading me to this room where I followed that same feeling until I found a few things of note. The first few things were a few crates of different types of weapons, clothing and a few pieces of equipment that I could see coming in handy. Finding a bag, I had quickly started filling it with a few samples of these tools before moving over to another crate filled with packaged MREs, I'll admit that such things would not be as appetizing as one would think, but it worked for me.

With this new sense guiding me, I started reaching in and finding the ones that I had the sneaking belief would still be good, despite being left to rot for who-knows how long. I even tried one to see how well preserved it was, taking a bit proved that it was still edible, I grimaced, if only just.

CLANK!

I suddenly froze at that, hairs on the back of my neck suddenly standing on end as I got the distinct impression that I really needed to get the hell out of dodge. I shoveled a few dozen more rations into the bag I had, a dozen other items from a few open crates before I sprinted out the room, the sound of footsteps rapidly approaching from another direction as I followed my guts and turned as I went to a junction before climbing up a wall and crawling into an exposed pipe in the ceiling, easily big enough for me to hide in as I heard it.

"Oi! 'dat 'da hell do ya fink 'dat iz?" I heard it, a tough, bass and highly accented voice that told me all I needed to know about the owners of the voice.

SMACK!

"Wot 'da hell do ya fink it iz zog head, it's a room full uv gud scrap! Now shut up an' start mov'n!" I heard another Ork shouting after a sound like two pieces of wood being smashed together reverborating through the hall. I dared to glance around the corner, out of the pipe I was hiding in as I noted the group of Orks moving around, a dozen Grots surrounding them and what looked like a few dozen Squids as well, most of the smaller creatures having started to wonder off in an attempt to find something interesting. I dared not hang around for that to happen, especially since I was, quite possibly, the only thing that could be counted as 'interesting' for a long way.

And I, personally, preferred to remain very much alive. With that in mind, I turned and started head down the pipe I was currently hiding in, that same feeling at the back of my mind working to guide me as I tried to find somewhere safe to make a base camp.

Preferably, one far, far away from those damned Orks...

XXX

... I'm just going to be honest and say it straight.

I'm a Psyker. A Primarch Psyker; a Psyker who happens to be a Primarch; A Primarch with the abilities of a Psyker...

Honestly, it explained a few of the abilities I had finally figured out in the last six months since I had encountered those damned Orks, though, I will admit that the ability itself made me rather nervous since Psykers didn't have the best track record, let alone a Primarch Psyker. Magus was the only example that sprang to mind, and he ended up being little more than the Changer of ways' butt boy due to his own ignorance and desperation. It was understandable, but it was something that I would have preferred not to see happen to myself, if only because I didn't want to get ass raped by Chaos...

Speaking of Chaos, I had, unfortunately, discovered that Orks were not the only things that infested this hell-hole of a world. With my new senses discovered, I had felt the tears in reality that had been present within the planet. Multiple Warp fissures that leaked a semi-constant stream of lesser demons of Chaos, most of which fizzled out moments after appearing, but a few of them managed to stick around long enough to get into a fight with a few of the nearby Ork settlements. The same went for the other groups on the planet since I could feel the hunger of a Tyranid lurking within the dark recesses of the numerous hulks, along with what I guessed were Human Hybirds. Lastly, I felt something else... Something old, powerful and skilled in one way or another, but it was distant and seemingly blind to my presence, something I was grateful for since I didn't fancy my chances against an Eldar at this stage of things.

Still, I couldn't help but wonder how an Eldar had gotten trapped here, then again, I could imagine since this place was, truthfully, more of a planet sized space hulk than anything else. Regardless, it hardly mattered since I fully planned to stay the hell away from the being, especially since I didn't know just how powerful that being was, especially with my own, very limited, skills at being a Psyker probably being very laughable, at best.

However, that wasn't the biggest discovery that I had made while experimenting with my powers...

And yes, I know! Experimenting with the Warp, yeah, not the smartest of ideas even at the best of times, then again, I wanted to learn as much about this new ability and how best I could use it to twist the odds of survival in my favor... Especially with those Damned Orks running around looking for loot and practically dogging my steps since I started gathering more and more pieces of valuable tech.

Simply put, I seemed to have a thing for both Biomancy and a new field of Warpcraft I might have just created since I don't remember it from the 40K; Technomancy!

... Yeah, honestly surprised the hell out of me once I figured it out while looking over a Lasgun while trying to figure out how it worked. A spark had followed that as the weapon suddenly felt hot in my hands before flashes filled my mind, a running sequence of images that showed the weapon being made by the hands of Tech-adepts on Mars, shipped to a supply base in the Jovian sphere of the Sol system before it was sent onwards through the Warp. I suddenly knew how to take the thing apart and put it back together with inhuman speed and accuracy while knowing how to use it, but I had frowned as I had looked the weapon over. As my mind buzzed with these thoughts, a number of thoughts stood out to me, showing me designs created by my subconscious as they showed the weapons I could create just by tweaking one bit or another.

I could increase the size of the heat sinks, integrate a rotating power cell system with a thermal-couple linked to the power cells to recharge them while in use, increasing the ammo capacity as a result. Another idea told me that I could shorten the weapon, adding another barrel and linking them before setting them to fire in sequence, creating something like a twin-linked Lasgun before over powering each barrel, making it more like a twin-linked Hellgun. Another idea ended up looking like a triple-barreled Multi-Las with a generator connected to the motor that spun the barrels that would, in turn, be linked to a series of three power cell that would rotated to replace those that had been emptied. It would be a slow process to even refill one of them, but it would probably extend the ammo capacity for quite a while. Other ideas were present as well, but those were all over the place as I noted some of the designs seemed rather impractical, if only due to the context I was currently in since I was dealing with close-quarters, Orks and who-knew what else.

One design, in fact, caught my eye as I followed the line of thought to what I found. It was an interesting design, four barrels, each being as powerful as a Hellgun with the ability to either fire all at once or one at a time, a cooling system linked to a thermal couple that was used to recharge the loaded power cell while another two were also present in a hollowed out stock. The thing had a bulb puck design and looked tough enough to be used as a make shift club.

Frankly, I smiled as I saw it, I wanted it, rather badly at that. However, the only problem was that I simply didn't have the tools to make shit, which should have made it impossible for me to make anything.

Key word being 'should'.

It turns out that I was, accidentally, accessing my powers, a consequence of not properly focusing on the 'Here and Now'. By the time I had finished daydreaming, I looked at the weapon before me just in time to see the fireworks.

Metal plates, screws and wires all came loose as I watched all the pieces flying free before they started altering themselves, excess materials being drawn in from around me as I saw a few layers of metal being shaved from the floor along with another Lasgun being taken apart by invisible hands. Metal was rolled into shape, fused together so perfectly that it was like it had been forged on a molecular level before I watched a few spare power cells flying over before attaching themselves to the rapidly forming framework before metal plates, circuits and wires started filling in the metal skeleton before all coming together in a frame of black metal that was sealed shut on a molecular level.

I didn't move for a moment after it was finished, simply looking at the damned thing with unbelieving eyes before I picked it up with trembling hands that rapidly steadied themselves as I held the weapon. A flash of images followed as I suddenly knew how to use this new weapon, a thought and the weapon was ready as I heard the subtle hum of the capacitors charging for each barrel, getting ready to fire as a pre-battle feature to ensure that there was no delay for the first shots.

Still, given that my body was almost two metres tall by that point, I knew that I'd probably have to rebuild the weapon in the future to ensure that it would still fit me, but that only meant that I could jam more stuff into it, causing a grin of anticipation to spread across my face as I looked at the quad-barreled Lasgun in my hands once more.

"I could get used to this..." I muttered to myself as I looked over it, taking in the details before nodding to myself. It would serve me well.

I can honestly say that worked really damned well, especially as I started moving more aggressively through the massive spacehulk-planet, encountering more Orks as I used my other-worldly sense to find more tech of interest and food.

Still, as for my Biomancy... Well...

XXX

"FUCK OFF AND DIE, ORK!" I screamed as I ducked around another corner, dodging horribly inaccurate bullets that were probably as big as my pinkie, not really surprising, especially given the shear obsession that most Orks had with Dakka. I rolled my eyes as I slipped out of my cover for a second and fired a four-shot burst of laser-light, moving the Las-Talon, as I had taken to calling my weapon, as it cycled between each barrel, each shot being enough to burn through the head of an Ork before it kept on going and scorched whatever was behind that target. That usually resulted in at least a few more Orks losing sight in half their face or getting some nasty burns to the shoulders.

"WAAAAAGGHHH!"

Of course, it still didn't help when I had a tidal wave of the green fuckers bearing down on me as I pulled back further, slamming one hand into the metal walls as I pulled more metal and had it shaped, changed and chemical compounds rebalanced before I suddenly found myself with a few Grenades. I didn't even give a damn about their designs as I pocketed at least five of them before throwing the sixth over my shoulder as I ran around a corner and saw an open elevator shaft, I smiled at that as I sprinted and jumped, my hands moving to grab the rails as I gripped them and slide downwards.

I was lucky, as a moment later I felt a wave of heat spreading above me as I looked up, my mouth going a bit dry as I saw the molten metal burning through the walls of the shaft as I ran down. I glanced down at the grenades I had stuffed into a compartment on my belt, suddenly a lot more wary of the powerful weapons I had pulled into existence by instinct. I made a mental note to look them over, preferably, when I wasn't being chased by a shit-load of Orks.

And, as if the universe had heard me, I suddenly looked up just in time to see an Ork.

"WAAAAAAaaaaggghhh!" It screamed as it crashed into my shoulder, the massive beast crashing into my with the force of a Baneblade as I lost my grip on the side of the shaft before the damned thing grabbed my left leg and pulled me down with it. I let it as I snarled once close enough, force it's arm to one side as it tried to get my head with its Choppa before I punched it in the face, tooth coming loose as it was dazed for a moment before I punched it again. I smiled minutely as I felt it's nose break on my fist before it shook it's head, regaining its senses before lashing out once more even as I putt four holes in its guts and head butt the damned thing.

"Goddammit!" I cursed loudly as the damned Ork managed to get his Choppa around and cut into my right shoulder, being stopped at my collar bone as I snarled, gritting teeth in pain and rage before grabbing the offending wrist and putting the barrels of my weapon to them. A flash of Laser-light later, and the fucker was roaring in pain as it suddenly found itself minus a hand, of course, I didn't give it a chance to counter attack, preferring to end a fight as quickly as I could. That, of course, resulted in me sticking the barrels of my gun down it's throat as it roared, I fired a two shotgun-like blasts down the throat of the beast even as it kept trying to punch me, I scowled deeply even as the creature took those hits and still kept living, parts of its spine sticking out of its back.

"Fuck it!" I shouted as I grabbed the collar to the Ork's clothing before head butting it once more before grabbing as much of its neck as I could, a sharp pull and twist.

I smiled as I heard the rather satisfying snap that followed even as I suddenly remembered that I was in free fall. Looking down, my eyes widened sharply as I saw the approaching roof of the elevator cart itself, I barely had enough time to put the Ork's body between myself and the cart before impact.

The impact was jarring and they resonated within my Transhuman bones, even resulting in the Choppa coming lose and dropping to the ground with a soundless clank! Honestly, it was a relief in itself, the gagged edge of metal having been digging into my flesh, not a pleasant experience by any measure, but one that I'd have preferred to avoid in the future. Trying to stand was difficult, my muscles ached with every breath as I forced myself to remain calm before stumbling back to the metal surface below me.

And causing my bare skin to rub against the skin of the Ork corpse.

What followed was... weird. My mind opened as I suddenly saw the body of the Ork like I had with the original Lasgun I had, the thing spread out within my mind as I considered what I was looking at before throwing my reservations to the side; Living took priority over any reservations I might have had, not to mention that morality was, effectively, pointless within 40K, especially given how fucked up the place was.

Biomass flowed freely from the Ork body, like a viscous green goo, that climbed up my arm before moving towards my wounds as I felt my body already healing, but I felt that it was better to help speed the process up rather than simply wait. Glancing upwards, I knew that I only had so much time to get moving, the Orks probably having sent out multiple parties, and I really didn't feel like getting caught between multiple groups of barely friendly Orks that could happily start battering each other for no more reason than simply because they could.

Of course, as I felt the biomass flowing into my body, acting as a catalyst for my healing, felt something... Shift, like one part of an infinite jigsaw puzzle had changed and grown all the more complex. Suddenly, my body felt better than ever, my muscles having grown themselves faster than expected while I felt like I was a lot tougher than a few moments ago.

Naturally, I didn't know what happened until I did a more in-depth investigation later on, but what I found was interesting.

My body was incredible, there was no other way that it could be said as I looked at what had changed before my jaw dropped in surprise. The long and short of it being that my body had integrated some aspects of the Ork gen-code that I had gained, copying aspects before rejecting others, such as the Ork inspired muscles and skeletal structure that would allow me to take a hell of a beating and still keep going. I hadn't actually gained all that much in terms of weight, either, which only meant that I could still move pretty damned fast.

With those thoughts in mind, I smirked.

This would certainly work in my favor...

XXX