W

C267 - Decision

The red-purple sword emitted buzzing noises. It wasn't completely stable, but part of the tremors that ran through its structure felt natural as if they were proper features of the spell. It didn't feel good to have that mass of energy right over the skin, but the technique vanished before Khan could study it any further.

'Is every human chaos wielder wrong about this element?' Khan wondered while inspecting his hand.

The spell didn't hurt his skin, but he had felt that it was possible to suffer from it. Still, his greatest concerns came from the unexpected shape that the mana had taken. Khan had seen the same happening with the Wave spell, so he started to think that the event involved a pattern of some kind.

The problem wasn't with the different effects. Khan was using an approach that involved two opposite theories, so those changes felt normal. However, the sole fact that the spells remained functional surprised him, especially since they typically required a certain amount of perfection in their execution.

'Is my element compensating on its own?' Khan asked himself. 'Is its freedom adjusting the spells to my approach?'

No one could give Khan answers, not on Ecoruta at least. The Niqols or even his father would be able to add details to that strange trend, but he couldn't reach them.

Khan allowed his mind to go quiet before summoning his mana again. The red-purple short sword reappeared, but it felt more stable now. He could lower his arm without losing control of the spell, and the floor soon showed him its effects.

The chaos claws spell resembled the Divine Reaper in its current form, but its effects weren't as clean as the martial art. A few cracks appeared on the floor as soon as the short blade got near it. Part of the metal directly shattered once the red-purple glow touched the surface and began to dig through it.

The destructive power of the blade stood in the spells' realm. It had the Divine Reaper's sharpness, but it also expressed the chaos element's innate destructiveness.

Khan guessed that non-lethal injuries could become deadly when the red-purple blade was involved. He could imagine what the spell would do to actual skin and muscles. A simple thrust could endanger a series of internal organs depending on how deeply or long the technique remained inside a body.

The blade vanished a few seconds after it entered the floor. Khan found it pointless to damage his habitation even more than that, so he decided to focus on smoothening his execution of the spell. He didn't know how to implement that new asset in his fighting style, but those exercises still counted as training.

Khan summoned the blade multiple times. The process wasn't tiring, and he didn't risk destroying his habitation with something so small, so he didn't hold back from diving into his training. A long meditation followed, and a repetition of all his techniques came after that.

Khan completed his training cycle past dinnertime when the night had reached one of its darkest hours. He was sweaty, tired, incredibly hungry, but he couldn't stop thinking about what had happened in the morning once he stopped keeping himself busy.

His indecision and hesitation had ended up pushing Delia past her limit, ultimately hurting her. Moreover, Khan could guess that the woman was probably blaming herself for what had happened. She didn't deserve that treatment. He didn't feel any deep feelings toward her, but she had been good to him.

Khan showered and changed his trousers before heading outside. He wanted to appease his grumbling stomach since that seemed the only problem he could solve. Still, the scene that unfolded in his vision brought his mind back to the previous issue.

Three trays stood next to the entrance. The food on them was cold but edible. There was even more than usual, but it didn't carry any special mark. Delia didn't leave any teasing messages.

'She isn't making it easy at all,' Khan sighed as he sent a message to Rick and sat on the ground to eat.

Khan usually didn't care about the quality of his meals, but the food felt bitter now. The silence of the night also prevented him from escaping his emotional conflict. Guilt and sadness fought each other inside his mind without managing to find a winner.

The pain seemed an inevitable outcome. Khan could ignore Delia and wallow in his longing and sadness, or he could give in and accept the guilt that would follow his decision. It would be easier if one of the options would spare Delia of that suffering, but that wasn't the case.

'When did I even become so scared of pain?' Khan cursed in his mind before diverting his attention to his buzzing phone.

Rick had answered his message even if it was deep into the night. His reply contained a simple map of the camp with a mark on Delia's habitation.

Khan sighed before standing up and marching toward the habitation. It didn't take him long to find it, and his hand soon knocked on the metal door. The entrance quickly slid open, but it closed as soon as Delia noticed the identity of her visitor.

"Open up," Khan said, knowing that she was close enough to hear him even if he didn't raise his voice.

His phone buzzed. Delia had sent a message containing a simple "NO", which only made Khan shake his head. He had yet to make his mind about the situation, but he still voiced his stance. "I guess I'll remain outside all night."

The door slid open before Khan could sit in front of the entrance. Delia limited herself to glance at him before turning to disappear inside her bedroom.

The entrance closed after Khan stepped inside. Delia's habitation was relatively big, but it fell far behind Khan's house. It had the usual couch and bathroom but no reinforced room.

Khan took a deep breath before the inevitable confrontation. He could finally understand the nature of his fear. Suffering was fine, but he didn't like to spread his pain. Khan didn't want his actions to make things worse for his friends.

"Delia," Khan called as he peeked past the bedroom's entrance.

Delia was sitting cross-legged on her bed. She glared at Khan, but she quickly diverted her gaze as hesitation and guilt appeared on her face. She didn't seem able to look at him for longer than a second.

"You shouldn't have come," Delia whispered. "I couldn't contain myself. I shouldn't have done that, not to you."

"You should worry about yourself," Khan stated as he approached the bed. "I can deal with myself."

"But you don't," Delia complained as she turned toward the wall when she sensed Khan sitting next to her. "You try to make it easier for everyone else, but you neglect yourself. You shouldn't accept pain so easily just because you have grown used to it."

"What happened wasn't exactly painful," Khan corrected.

"Don't lie to me," Delia replied. "You have come because you feel that you have wronged me, right?"

"Well, I did," Khan admitted.

"No!" Delia shouted while finally turning toward Khan and showing her teary eyes. "You should be mad at me for taking away your chance to choose when to move on. I forced you to betray your feelings for your ex. Don't pretend that you can ignore all of this."

Khan opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out of it. Every idea that appeared in his mind featured the very flaws in his personality that Liiza and Delia had noticed. He wanted to put all the blame on him so that Delia could be free of her guilt, but that would only anger her now.

"Fine, I can't ignore the kiss," Khan revealed. "Still, there are countless things that I can't ignore. My mind is a dark mess that doesn't give me any breaks. I'm either sad about everything that has happened on Nitis, guilty due to what I'm doing with you, or generally annoyed that problems appear wherever I go."

"That's exactly why you should give your everything to yourself!" Delia responded. "Be selfish. Do whatever you need to feel even a tiny bit better. Everyone would understand if you were to hurt others in the process. I know I would."

"I don't like it," Khan sighed. "I don't like the idea behind that nor how I'd feel afterward. What's the point of appeasing my pain by spreading it around? I wouldn't mind it with strangers, but we are past that by now."

"You are impossible," Delia exclaimed while shaking her head. "I've never met anyone as stubborn as you."

"It's part of my charm," Khan joked.

"Yes, together with absurd battle prowess, maturity, actual good-looks, a damn fine shape, and deep mindset," Delia declared. "It's a pity that you had to pay such a steep price for some of them."

"Oh my, don't fall for me so quickly," Khan mocked.

"I'm not an idiot," Delia responded. "You are a better soldier than me at such young age. You will reach heights inside the Global Army that I can't even imagine. It's pure luck that I had the chance to meet you when we are still vaguely equal."

"I've never thought about us in those terms," Khan said as a faint frown appeared on his face.

"I did," Delia uttered. "You will step on a path that I won't be able to tread. In ten or even five years, you'll be some bigshot in the Global Army, while I'll remain a simple soldier."

"I don't think I'd care about that stuff," Khan stated without limiting his thoughts on the current situation.

"This is the first time I hear you thinking like a seventeen-year-old," Delia said. "You are lucky you made friends with such an honest woman. Others might have tried to guilt-trap you into a relationship now that you are within their reach."

"I must be very lucky," Khan smiled while fixing his gaze on Delia's eyes.

Delia pouted, but Khan didn't move his eyes from her. The long stare made her feel awkward and eventually forced her to voice a complaint in a cute voice. "What is it?"

"You have calmed down," Khan stated.

"Are you still trying to make me feel better?" Delia voiced in an annoyed tone. "Listen to me. I can play that game too. Actually, I've already decided that I won't try anything serious with you to avoid adding problems to that mess that you call brain. You have just lost the chance to get one of the best girlfriends on this damned planet."

Khan continued to smile and stare at Delia. Her statement had been quite cute, and she had even tried her best to appear proud about it. The faint blush on her face had betrayed her real thoughts, but he refrained from pointing that out.

"Stop staring at me!" Delia complained in a cute voice. "I have a will of steel. Looking at complacent and mature won't get you anywhere."

"You really have the wisdom of the old age," Khan commented.

"What would that even mean?" Delia scoffed. "I'm only looking out for you."

"I can see that," Khan stated while bending toward Delia slowly. "I trust you now."

"What are you doing?" Delia whispered while retreating until her back reached the wall. "I already told you. We won't end up together. I won't allow it."

"I'm not trying to make you my girlfriend," Khan explained as he reached Delia and grabbed her side. "I only trust that you won't get hurt."

"Khan," Delia pleaded as she slid down until she lay her head on the pillow. She was basically accompanying Khan's soft pull, which put her under him in no time.

"It felt good, the kiss," Khan revealed while moving his hand to her cheek and rubbing his thumb on her lips. "I could forget about everything for a second. What came afterward was far from nice, but you are right. I should try to find small moments of peace."

Delia's breath became uneven as her gaze darted between Khan's eyes and mouth. She even began to raise her hands to reach his torso, but she closed them into fists to hold herself back.

"Can I be selfish then?" Khan asked before making their foreheads touch. "Can I use you to carve some fake peace in my life?"

Khan didn't lower his mouth to let Delia make that decision. He was still hesitant about that action, and she had to accept the consequences by herself to avoid future misunderstandings or grudges. However, Delia's hesitation lasted only a few seconds. Her hands soon relaxed and reached his head to make it cross the space that separated it from her lips.

To be continued