Won't You Be Our Neighbour?

"Listen, Sebastian, I don't need excuses, I need results", Zephyr spoke into his phone while driving his car, "I know that there's been a minor setback with Joshua falling ill but you shouldn't be three days behind schedule when he's only been absent for one day. Yes, I know Joshua specialises in advertising but our sales should be 10% higher than they are now. Good. Get it done as soon as possible. If needed, get Robert and his team to help you". Although slightly frustrated, Zephyr didn't take out his anger on his employees. Taking a deep breath, he calmed down his spiking heart rate and returned his full attention to the road. 

After a few minutes, he arrived in front of the Dunphy's house where he found himself spectating a strange sight. After parking his car, he exited and made his way towards them. 

"So what brought this on?", Zephyr asked, looking at Alex who was 'gardening'. 

"The house next door is being sold and Dad's the realtor. There's this couple who Mom and Dad really want to be our neighbour so we're pretending we're a family who enjoys gardening to entice them to buy the house", Alex explained. 

"Less yapping, more gardening!", Claire instructed. 

"She must really like them", Zephyr whispered to Alex. 

"You don't know half of it", Alex muttered, releasing a tired sigh as she returned to using a rake and 'gardening'.

"I also helped the previous owners install a tankless water heater a year ago", Phil remarked as he walked out of the house, "But did they show any gratitude?". 

"Nope!", the man following behind Phil answered, "Because it's a tankless job". 

"Yes!", Phil exclaimed, "Please move in so we can riff like this any time". 

"So what do you think?", Claire inquired, "Do you still love it?". 

"Absolutely", the guy's partner nodded, "I can just see myself filling this yard with flowers". 

"Oh, I love those shoes!", Claire complimented. 

"Oh thanks", the woman smiled, "George's firm does PR for about 10 shoe brands. If we end up living here, trust me, you'll be swimming in shoes". 

Haley gasped upon hearing her words, "I've had that dream". 

"Speaking of dreams", Phil added, "What do you think? You guys ready to pull the trigger?". 

George looked at his wife who gave him a nod, "I think we are". 

"Yes!", Phil exclaimed. 

"Yay!", Claire clapped. 

"I'm a size 6!", Haley added for no reason. 

"I've got a meeting to get to, but we'll keep in close contact", George said as he moved over to his car. 

"Hopefully, the next time we see each other we'll be neighbours", George's wife exclaimed as she entered the car. 

"See you soon!", Phil yelled as George drove away.

As they drove away, Claire hugged Phil, "We did it. We're going to have the best neighbours!". 

"I wouldn't get your hopes up", Zephyr interrupted, "I see a car approaching". 

At his words, Claire stopped hugging Phil and turned in the direction Zephyr was looking at. True to his words, a white pickup truck was speeding its way and parked itself right on the curb. 

"I don't want to see a stupid house", a boy with long blonde hair remarked as he popped his head out the window. 

"Hey, how about you shut up and not embarrass us!", the boy's dad countered as he exited the car. 

"I got a better idea", the man's daughter intervened, "How about you both shut up. I'm sick and tired of having to listen to you both". 

"Hey!", the girl's mom exclaimed, "Don't talk to your Dad like that or else you can go live with your boyfriend". 

"How many times have I told you?!", the girl groaned, "He's not my boyfriend. I just make out with him so I don't have to take his class again". 

"We should go and say hi", Luke muttered, dazed as he looked at the girl. 

"No no no no no no no no", Claire stopped him from walking towards them. Sneaking over to Phil, she whispered, "Phil! Shut it down!". 

"I'm trying!", Phil whispered back, attempting to pop the balloons, "I don't know what these things are made of though. They're like steel". 

"Hey!", the man exclaimed, causing Phil to stop secretly trying to pop the balloons, "Are you the realtor of the house?". 

"Uh, me?", Phil asked, pointing at himself. 

"I don't see anyone else with a suit so yeah, you", the man remarked, looking around for a second. 

Shaking his head and snapping himself out of his daze, Phil extended his hand, "Sorry about that. I'm Phil Dunphy. The realtor of this estate. Would you like to have a look at the house?". 

"Duh", the daughter rolled her eyes, "Why else would we be here?". 

"Tammy!", the mom raised her voice, "Don't be so rude". 

"Who are you guys?", the son asked. 

"They're my family. We live next door", Phil introduced. Although hesitant, Phil decided to introduce everyone, "This is my wife, Claire", Phil hugged Claire as he introduced her, "That one's my daughter Haley". Haley gave a small wave upon hearing her name. "That's my other daughter, Alex", Alex gave them a nod, "And that's her boyfriend, Zephyr". Zephyr flashed them a peace sign. "Lastly, that's my son Luke". 

"I'm Ronnie Lefontaine", the father introduced himself, "And this hot lady is my wife, Amber". 

"And these two little hellraisers are Tammy and Ronnie Jr.", Amber introduced her kids. 

"It's nice getting to know you guys but I think we should get a look at the house", Ronnie said, "It's in a nice neighbourhood and pretty close to my workplace as well". 

"Uh, what's your line of work, Ronnie?", Claire questioned. 

"I'm basically a doctor", Ronnie answered. 

"Oh, stop being modest", Amber patted him on the chest, "Ronnie here owns like a buttload of medical weed dispensaries". 

"So that's where I know", Haley began but upon realising what she was about to say, she pretended she suddenly got a call, "Uh, hello". Pretending like someone was talking, she looked at her parents and said, "I've got to go. See ya". Before they could even say anything, Haley made a run for it and left the scene. 

"Honey, you look a little nauseous", Amber remarked, looking at Claire's face. 

"Yeah. Yeah. Just a little", Claire mumbled. 

"I got a little something for that if you want?", Ronnie asked, "Since we'll be neighbours, it's free of charge". 

[Time Skip]

"See you!", Phil half-heartedly yelled as he waved the Lefontaines away. 

"What are we going to do?!", Claire exclaimed, "Those guys seem like the worst neighbour's ever!". 

"I know honey", Phil agreed, "But their offer is 50 grand higher than what George offered. As Jerry's realtor, I'm obliged to show him the offer and, as it stands right now, the Lefontaines are going to win". 

"What if ... you don't give Jerry the offer?", Claire suggested, "Paper's tend to get blown away easily by the wind, so what if the wind blew away their offer?". 

"You know I can't lie", Phil muttered, "Besides, we've known Jerry for years. I'd feel guilty betraying his trust like this". 

"Urgh!", Claire groaned, "Why do things have to be so hard?!". Thinking about it for a few seconds, Claire came up with a new idea, "How about we invite the Thompsons and convince them to raise the offer?". 

"You know", Zephyr interrupted as he and Alex walked behind them, "That sounds far more suggestive than you think". 

"What do you me-oh", Claire muttered, realising where she went wrong. 

"Besides, there's no need to go to such lengths to convince them", Zephyr added. 

"There isn't?", Phil questioned. 

"Yeah", Zephyr nodded, "If you guys don't want them to be your neighbours that badly, I can buy the house for you guys and then sell it back to Aunt Melaina. The house is in a nice neighbourhood, I'm sure she can find another buyer". 

"What?!", Alex screamed, "You don't have to do that". 

"As much as I want to let you do that, I have to agree with Alex", Claire murmured. 

"They're right", Phil added, "There's no need for you to get involved. I'll just inform the Thompsons that a new offer came in and if they're willing to meet it. If they're not, I'll give Jerry the Lefontaines' offer". 

"That's really mature of you guys", Alex noted. 

"What do you mean?!", Claire angrily shouted, "We've always been mature. Besides, what sort of people would we be if we let our son-in-law solve our problems". 

"I've seen how bad Jerry's living conditions and the better he sells the house, the better it'll be for him", Phil explained his reasoning for agreeing so easily. 

"Y-you!", Alex exclaimed, pointing her finger at her mom. 

"What?", Claire asked before suddenly realising what she said and began screaming, "Argh. What did I say?! I didn't mean that!". 

"You know, I feel offended", Zephyr muttered. 

"Ah. It's not that I don't like you. You'd be a great son-in-law but you and Alex are a bit young to be married, buy a house, and have kids. Argh! Why am I ranting?!", Claire ranted. 

"It's fine", Zephyr calmed her down, "I understand". Looking at Alex, whose face was a light shade of pink, "Let's go Alex, we've got some revision to do". 

"Y-yeah", Alex stuttered, feeling overwhelmed by her imagination and train of thought. Shaking her head, she dispelled the images of her and Zephyr getting married, them buying a house, having kids, taking their kids to school and much more. "L-let's go", Alex instructed, her voice shaky.