Bro, I'm gonna be honest with you. You need to improve badly ...
The grammar is bad, there is little to no depth in the story and the first chapter which is supposed to provide the most detail is missing important parts that contribute to the entire quality of the story. Concept wise, it's decent, but other than that, there is much to be done. Don't worry we are all beginners here, so it's obvious we have to try our best I'm rooting for you.
