The Defenseless Angel and the Start of the New Year

When Amane awoke in the morning, all was quiet.

He could hear the cries of birds outside, but there was no sign from his bedroom that

Mahiru was up yet.

It was already past dawn, but maybe because she was exhausted from the night before,

Mahiru seemed to still be sleeping soundly.

Amane had only managed to get some brief shut-eye—the persistent thought of

Mahiru in his bed made true rest elusive—and he had ended up drifting off, lingering

on the edge of sleep until deciding to get up.

The restless night wasn't particularly taxing on him physically, so that was fine, but

the whole situation was trying in another way. This was the first time he had ever let

a girl stay over at his place, never mind having one sleep in his bed. Naturally, he was

incredibly anxious.

…I mean, what am I even supposed to do in a situation like this?

He was pretty sure that Mahiru had only allowed herself to fall asleep because she

considered him a safe and harmless guy, but Amane was a guy nonetheless, a fact that

he wished she would acknowledge more often.

He really regretted not waking her and sending her back home, but it was no use now.

Amane sighed and stretched to work out the knots in his body after spending the night

on the sofa, then stood up slowly.

For the time being, he thought he would look in on Mahiru. Well, his main goal was

actually to grab a change of clothes, but he decided to check on her while he was in

there.

Ever so slowly, he opened the bedroom door.

Inside, it was quiet. Mahiru was just as he had left her, still sleeping in his bed.

If there had been any change, it was that she must have turned over several times in

her sleep, because now she was lying on her side, and her hair was spread across the

sheets like a flowing river of gold.

Amane knelt down to look at Mahiru more closely. Her sleeping breaths were even and

serene.

She looks so innocent when she's asleep.

Mahiru often wore a calm expression, perhaps because she usually had her guard up,

but… her sleeping face was the picture of tranquility. Again, he felt the urge to reach

out and pet her.

…She really is cute like this…

Of course, she was undeniably beautiful any time of day, but seeing her in such a

vulnerable state plucked at Amane's heartstrings in a very different way.

He wanted to stroke her smooth hair and poke at her soft cheeks.

She was usually so proper and reserved, with no gaps or cracks in her facade, so

catching her in a defenseless state like this made him want to mess with her a little.

Without putting any thought into the matter, Amane stretched a hand out toward her

and pressed the tip of his finger against her cheek, which looked so soft. Mahiru's skin

was as silky as it had been the night before. He almost wanted to go on touching her

forever. In the back of his mind, he knew he needed to be delicate, but the softness of

her skin was spellbinding and made him want to dote on her…

Mahiru, who had been sleeping quietly, suddenly let out a hoarse but endearing groan

and looked at Amane with bleary, caramel-colored eyes… or at least, she seemed to

look in Amane's direction. He thought that her cherubic face appeared even more

innocent in repose. She stared absently for a moment, eyes blank and cloudy with

sleep, and then frowned and settled back down.

When Amane started to pull his hand away, Mahiru stirred, and her cheek brushed

against his fingers again. "…Nn…" A dainty sigh rose in her throat.

To Amane, it almost seemed like she was saying Don't go.

Of course, Mahiru was obviously still half asleep. She would definitely never act like

this under any normal circumstances.

Even so, Amane thought that her movements reminded him of an affectionate kitten.

The day had only just begun, and already his brain was failing him. He couldn't decide

whether to pull back or keep caressing her cheek. Despite all sense and reason, his

heart was really leaning toward the latter. After all, he rarely got to see Mahiru this

unguarded, and he wanted to see how much he could get away with.

But Amane knew that if Mahiru caught him acting on his desire, she wouldn't listen to

a word he had to say. He knew without a doubt that this would all make her incredibly

uncomfortable, so he stopped short.

Mahiru seemed to be coming around slowly, but she was obviously not awake just yet.

She hadn't moved, and her cheek was still pressed against Amane's fingers.

He had come into the room looking to check on her and maybe grab a change of clothes

while he was at it. How had he ended up doing something like this? Amane felt his

cheeks grow hot as it fully dawned on him just how unspeakably creepy he was acting.

"Nn-ngh…"

After another moment, Mahiru's eyelids finally started to flutter open again…

"…Ah."

They locked eyes.

Mahiru's gaze flicked from Amane, who was leaning over her, to his extended finger.

She immediately sat bolt upright.

"M-morning," Amane stammered.

"…G-good morning…"

"You fell asleep at my place, so I let you stay the night here, but I didn't have any ulterior

motives and I swear I didn't do anything, so really, I hope you can appreciate all that…"

Amane said, the words pouring out in a rush as he struggled to explain.

As she listened to Amane's jumbled account, Mahiru stayed quiet, but her cheeks

quickly flushed bright red as it dawned on her where she had slept, and she tugged at

a corner of the futon, practically hiding herself with it.

Finding even that small gesture charming, Amane quickly turned away.

What is happening here?

Even though he had lent her a bed for the night, he was starting to feel bad. He knew

that he had been wrong to touch her without permission. But it had only been for a

moment, and he had absolutely no intention of taking it any further.

Amane looked back at Mahiru. His heart was pounding in his chest. He didn't know if

it was because he was smitten with her or from feeling guilty. He saw that her cheeks

were still tinged red, and she was staring at him with a sullen look… or not quite sullen.

It seemed like she had something to say to him.

"…Amane, do you like touching my cheeks?"

"Huh?"

"I mean, you touched me at Christmas and then again yesterday when I fell asleep,

didn't you?"

"…So you were awake the whole time?"

The other night, when he had stroked her cheek… he'd thought that she'd been fast

asleep. That she would never know he'd touched her. But she did, because she'd

actually been awake at the time.

"Well, you see, I briefly woke up just as I was being lowered into bed… Moreover, how

could I do anything else in a situation like that?"

"Weren't you worried about me… doing something?" Amane asked.

"…I never thought you would do anything like that, but… in order to confirm my

suspicions, I pretended to be asleep."

Apparently, falling asleep in front of him had been some kind of test to determine

whether he was really worthy of her trust. Ultimately, it seemed like she was leaning

toward yes rather than no, for which he was glad.

Amane hoped she wouldn't test that out again. He really wasn't sure he would do any

better the next time he was faced with controlling himself when she was that same

charming vulnerability, either.

"…Well, I'm glad you haven't decided I'm totally shady. Also please don't try any more

tests. I am a man, after all."

"Uh, I kn-know that, but—"

"Or maybe you were expecting me to try something?"

"Of course not!" Mahiru firmly denied, pulling the comforter back up around her. She

was practically shaking, and Amane thought he'd seen her start to blush, just a little.

He wisely swallowed the urge to make a joke about her being in his bed.

For now, it was probably a good idea to give Mahiru some space until she regained her

composure.

After that inexplicable bout of awkwardness, Mahiru returned to her apartment to

freshen up before coming back again. But it was obvious that she was still embarrassed

because she refused to make eye contact with Amane. Every time he tried to catch her

gaze, she turned away. Even though she was sitting on the sofa right next to him, it was

like she was miles away.

"…Please forgive me," Amane said, stomach twisting in knots.

Mahiru quickly glanced over at him, then sighed softly. Maybe she wasn't as upset

anymore; she was wearing her usual serene expression. "I'm not angry. You don't have

to apologize, Amane."

"Well, I think—"

"I suppose I'm mostly upset with myself for being so careless, that's all. I really wish

you hadn't seen me like that."

"Like… what? I thought you looked really sweet…"

Mahiru's dreaming face had reminded him why people called her an angel, but more

importantly, he had discovered that just after she woke up, in the moments between

sleep and wakefulness, her usual cool and collected demeanor gave way to a youthful

innocence that he found extremely charming.

If anything, Amane wanted to see her like that again.

But it was clear that Mahiru was not happy that he'd seen her with her guard down.

Before Amane could argue any further, she bit her lip hard and suddenly whacked him

with a pillow. It didn't hurt or anything—it was obvious that Mahiru wasn't really

trying—but it caught Amane by surprise.

"What the heck?"

"…You know, I hate that about you, Amane."

"Hate what? At least tell me what I did wrong."

"What you said… That's not the sort of thing that you can just say to a girl so casually,

you know?"

"Well it's not like I would say that sort of thing to anyone else…"

The only girls Amane knew were Mahiru and Chitose. And sure, Chitose was cute, but

Amane found her more annoying than anything else, and there was no need for him

to praise her to her face anyway. So who else would he even talk to like that?

Amane could see that Mahiru was feeling defensive. He watched her reactions carefully

as he continued. "Besides, you must be used to people saying those kinds of things

about you, right?" He shrugged. "Why should it bother you now?"

After all, he had told Mahiru many times that he thought she was cute. It didn't seem

like the kind of thing that would suddenly become a sticking point. She knew how

beautiful she was.

She can't be that embarrassed just because of a little compliment.

That's what Amane thought, but for some reason, Mahiru was still wearing a sour face.

"Seriously, what's the matter?"

"…It's nothing."

She landed one final attack by whacking him again with the cushion, then Mahiru

turned away sharply and said "I'm going to go make mochi soup" before putting on

her apron and heading for the kitchen.

Amane couldn't do anything but squeeze the cushion and stare at Mahiru's back as she

abruptly stalked out of the room.

By the time they finished eating the mochi soup, Mahiru was back to her usual self.

The start of the meal had been rather uncomfortable, but both the soup and the

assorted osechi dishes were so delicious that Amane had quickly forgotten everything

else, and before he realized it, Mahiru's spirits had recovered.

As they moved from the table back to sitting together on the sofa, Amane asked, "By

the way, are you planning to go for a shrine visit to start off the New Year, Mahiru?"

"Shrine visit? I wasn't really planning to go… I don't like crowds, you know. People

always stare at me."

"That's because you're…"

He had been about to say "…because you're so beautiful," but the mood had only just

recovered after his earlier faux pas, so he swallowed the words and only said "Well, I

guess there's not a ton you can do about that" instead.

"Are you going to go to one, Amane?"

"I always went with my parents when I was back home, but I was just wondering

whether I should go. I was thinking that it might be best to pass, at least on New Year's

Day."

"Agreed."

"Chitose and Itsuki are having a cozy time at her place, so they're not around, and kids

these days don't make a big deal out of the first shrine visit of the year anyway, you

know? I think we can put it off."

Compared to the old days… for young people, especially those in their teens and

twenties, first-day-of-the-year shrine visits were getting less and less popular. Amane

and Mahiru wouldn't be especially strange for skipping out.

It wasn't exactly that he didn't want to go, but he knew that there would be too many

people to be able to move comfortably and that the experience would just end up

being exhausting, so he was thinking it would probably be better to go after the crowds

thinned out a bit.

"Besides," Amane continued, "I want to spend the first three days of the New Year

relaxing. I don't really care about holiday bargains or anything, either."

"Actually, I am sort of interested in the special blind bags some stores have," Mahiru

mentioned.

"Are you going to a shopping mall or somewhere?"

She shook her head. "…I'm not brave enough to charge into those crowds."

"Agreed."

Amane replied in the same way Mahiru had a moment ago and leaned back into the

sofa.

There was definitely no need to go anywhere just because it was New Year's Day.

Amane was perfectly content taking it easy at home. He preferred to avoid stressful

situations, after all. And since they'd be spending the holiday together, he certainly

wouldn't want for food or conversation.

Thinking to himself what a luxurious New Year's holiday this was turning out to be,

Amane stole a glance at Mahiru sitting beside him as a small smile crept onto his face.