169. Chapter 169

AN: It's been a while since an actual episode was used in this story as a large part of a chapter, and I need to say again that it belongs to Castle's writers and that I appreciate that they allow us to play with their work. Except for Castle's introduction to the case and some circumstances at the very end, all of the particulars of the case belong to the show's writers. It had to be given to a different team of detectives, though, since Beckett is already a captain in this story.

I recently read a story based on an episode, and the writer chose to italicize all the dialogue that came directly from the episode to make what he or she used of it transparent. It sounded like a fair treatment, so I've tried it here. Unfortunately, I wasn't intending to work with another episode and didn't make note of either the name of the story or the writer; so I will both apologize for not being able to give credit where it's due and thank whoever it was for the idea. If you are that writer, please let me know so I can give you credit.

I'll also say again that I appreciate all the reviews, favorites, and follows. I'm slowly catching up on some personal replies, so until that's accomplished, thank you.

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Chapter 169

"Paula," Castle greeted as he answered his phone, "Might I ask, to what do I owe the pleasure of your very early call this morning?"

"Oh, you're going to be happy about this call, early or not. I can guarantee it. And early is your own fault. If you'd answered your phone last night…"

"So tell me what's going to make me happy."

After listening for a long moment, he answered, "You're right. This is a great call."

"Congratulations. So go tell Kate. I can almost see you trying to hang up so you can find her. I'll get back to you with details as soon as I have them."

"You know me well. Thank you, Paula." He put his phone down on the kitchen counter and rushed into the study calling loudly, "Kate!" Racing into their room, he heard the shower running, stripped out of his pajama pants, and burst into the bathroom to join her in the shower, drawing a startled sound from his wife. He grabbed her wet, slippery body and planted a kiss firmly on her lips. "Paula just called."

"Well, it must have been something good to cause all this," she answered with a playful little smirk.

"It is. I'm getting an award in May…The Poe's Pen Lifetime Career Achievement Award. It's for mystery writers. And for mystery writers, it's a very big deal."

"Rick, I'm so proud of you," she cheered. "No wonder you're so excited." She pulled his head to her to give him a big, heartfelt congratulatory kiss.

"Mmmm… There's a lot to be said for naked, shower celebrating," he said with a smirk of his own.

"I wish we had time to be more celebratory, but the kids will be awake soon, and we have to get Jamie ready for school."

"And you have to be at work…I know. But this feels so good. Paula finished what she needed to tell me and then told me to go and tell you…said she could almost see me trying to hang up so I could."

Kate smiled and answered, "I'm glad you do that…rush to share all the good stuff with me. Raincheck on the wet, naked celebrating? We can revisit it after the kids are tucked in tonight."

"It's a date," Castle confirmed with a big grin. "Do I at least get another one of those awesome kisses?"

"All yours, Stud."

They both took full advantage in the moments they had left before they heard Jo through the baby monitor, letting it be known that she wasn't happy.

They resignedly rested their foreheads together, and Kate sighed and said, "I'll change Jo and feed her. You get Jamie up and dressed?"

Castle sighed, too. "I love them both so much, but sometimes they're as bad as Ryan."

They both laughed, dried off, and shared one more kiss after pulling on their robes and climbing the stairs. They found Jamie in Jo's room talking to her and trying to get her to stop crying.

"Thanks for taking care of your sister," Kate told him.

"Yeah. We're proud of you for doing that so often," Castle added. "Mommy can do that now, though. We need get you ready for school." He held out his hand, and Jamie took it as they went back to his room.

Kate organized and packed the diaper bag for Castle before she went to get dressed, putting Jo in the middle of their large bed to keep an eye on her and talk to her as she put on her own clothes; then she dressed her daughter. Then she kissed each member of her family before she left for the precinct.

xxxxx

Captain Kate Beckett loved her job, but it took her away from home for the day and away from her family, her biggest source of joy. Richard Castle loved his job as a writer, creating other worlds where his readers could lose themselves. His job allowed him to work at home and spend time with his younger children, half of his biggest source of joy…the other half being his wife and his adult daughter.

Kate, as a number of other working women where she commanded respect in a career that still essentially belonged to men, was often torn between the satisfaction of doing her job well and the feeling that she should be spending more time with her family. Rick Castle, as a number of stay at home parents of young children, enjoyed the interaction with his offspring and was happy to be able to work at home and not have a nanny raising his children for him. Still he sometimes wished that, rather than having stop to pick Jamie up at school, change a diaper, or wrangle any of a plethora of other child related distractions, he could just keep writing when he fell into the flow of the story. He didn't resent his wife's job or his children's needs, but he did sometimes wish for a little more time for himself.

In spite of their moments of dissatisfaction, however, the Castles were still a happy couple, still deeply in love and completely devoted to their children. They had settled on a plan for the next few years and were looking forward to more freedom later. Knowing each other as well as they did made it easier to read each other's moods, and each of them tried to ease a difficult day or a rough patch for the other when it was needed. They still annoyed one another now and then and still bickered about things, but after the Sofia/CIA/Clara Strike problem, they had agreed never to go to bed angry. Their bedroom was proclaimed a neutral zone. It could be a place for discussions but never for arguments. Arguments were taken elsewhere.

xxxxx

In March, after each parent had a rough day in their respective jobs, they ordered a healthy dinner. After dinner, time was spent with their children, the baths, the story reading, and the tucking in; and then the two of them dragged themselves back downstairs to collapse together on the sofa.

"It's a far cry from chasing leads or suspects with you," Castle said as he leaned his head wearily on the back of the sofa, "but those two took it out of me today, and they weren't even involved in anything I could classify as trouble. I had some good ideas I was trying to get down in print, but they just seemed to need constant attention."

"Did my taking them for a while after I got home help at all?" She took his hand and lifted it to her lips to kiss it.

"Yeah, it did. I finished an outline for the next chapter and added a few notes, along with a couple of specific phrases I liked and didn't want to forget. Thank you. It made it easier to relax and be part of the fun later. But I could tell you had a rough day, too. What made your day harder?"

"It looks like another major snow storm is going to hit us, so I met with sergeants and lieutenants again today, reviewing to be sure we're as ready as possible. Homicide has a case that's going nowhere. They have a suspect, and they thought they had him; but he got away. It looks like a pretty sure bet that he did it, but something feels off. I don't know why."

"Your spidey senses are tingling?"

"I guess that's as good a way to put it as any," Kate answered.

"Hey, I respect your spidey senses." There was a little pause and Castle asked, "Whose case is it? Somebody who wouldn't mind if I took a look? I could take Jo with me after we take Jamie to school. If I don't see anything, you're no worse off than you were before, right? I'm kind of missing the precinct lately."

"Yeah. It's one of Lupinski's cases. He'd be glad to see you either way."

"Did anything else happen today?"

"A couple of detectives got into a shouting match in one of the bullpens this afternoon, and I had to step in and mediate. One of them, Alderson, is having a rough time at home. His little girl has a long-term illness. She's had recurring problems that have needed hospitalizations, and it's escalated recently. Looks like the stress finally boiled over because of something small that came up in the bullpen; and he just lost it. The other guy didn't handle it any better. We got it worked out, and the other guy understood; but I feel so bad for Alderson. I can't imagine one of our babies being that sick…especially as often as that little girl is. I'd have the option of quitting and staying at home with Jo, but most people don't have the option of not going to work. I think a lot of his stress may be from the medical bills. Insurance for conditions like hers doesn't cover everything.

"We could help with that."

"I doubt he'd accept it."

"We could be anonymous."

"You're such a good man, Richard Castle."

"I'm sure we could find a way to waste most of our money if we set our minds to it, but that isn't us. I want us to enjoy the ease of having money, and I love spoiling you when you let me; but it feels good to share it with somebody who deserves a break sometimes. Gather me some information, and let me see what I can do."

"Okay. Anything else you'd like to do?" She asked suggestively.

"Is that an offer?"

"Maybe."

"Shall we move this conversation to the bedroom and discuss it?" All it took was her smile to have him on his feet and leaning to pick her up bridal style and start walking toward the other room.

"Have I mentioned that I've learned to like it when my big, strong husband literally sweeps me off my feet like this?" she asked flirtatiously, arms around his neck.

"Maybe a couple of times," he answered with his little smirk, stopping to kiss her before moving forward on his path. "I like it, too. Makes me feel manly."

When they reached the bed, he playfully held her above it, dropped her on it, and then leapt in beside her.

"Did that make you feel manly, too?"

"Nope. That was just fun," he answered unapologetically, and he got a laugh in return.

"So what else are we going to do for fun, Mr. Manly Man?"

"Why don't we get naked and see what happens?"

They laughed at each other as they both stripped down quickly, throwing the pieces of clothing wherever they landed and snuggling under the covers facing one another.

"Mmmm… You're definitely feeling pretty manly under here."

"I was completely exhausted ten minutes ago, but somehow I'm almost never too tired to want this. You have magical powers over me."

"It's mutual. I'm feeling magically energetic all of a sudden, too."

Their lovemaking wasn't any less loving for its playful nature, and they both slept as soundly as their babies afterward.

As they showered the next morning, Kate said, "I love our children, and I wouldn't give them back for anything, but I miss being able to do what we did last night whenever the spirit moves us, or just grabbing our coats and walking out the door when we want to. After Alexis went to college, we got spoiled. Martha was gone a lot in the evenings and off for tours now and then."

When they had both dried off and wrapped themselves in towels, he put his arms around her from behind and kissed the side of her neck. "I miss that, too. My birthday is in a couple of weeks. Any chance you could use some of your vacation time for us? We could take the weekend, and maybe two or three days before or after, and go somewhere we can be spontaneous…no schedule, no distractions."

"And who's going to take care of our children? I don't want to be away too long. Jamie is old enough to miss us."

"Jamie would be okay. We can give him another calendar and circle the day we'll be back. He can mark the days off with X's until we're home. He's handled that pretty well before. I'll make a few phone calls today while you're at work and see if we have enough family with time to help out. Even if we just find a hotel in town where we can be uninterrupted for a couple of days, it would be nice to get away together. We haven't done that since our six month old daughter was still only in our imaginations."

She turned to face him, placing her hands on his chest. "Ask them for babysitting after your birthday. I already checked, and your birthday is on a Saturday this year, so I'd be off those weekend days anyway. And I'll need to make some phone calls, too. I need somebody to babysit my precinct. I'm not likely to need more than having some of the lieutenants to be available for the small glitches that come up on a pretty regular basis; but on the off chance of a terrible accident wreaking havoc or, god forbid, a shooter or terrorists, I need somebody with some experience to be on call. Those problems don't care if the actual captain is there or not, let alone if she's back from vacation; and Gates isn't available for that kind of help anymore."

"What about O'Conner at the fifty-first? He called and picked your brain pretty regularly after he took over there."

"He's too far away, and I don't feel like I can call on Captain Dohrman. I'm sure he'd want to help, but I saw a couple of the detectives from the fifteenth when I went to pick up lunch last week. They said he's still as sharp as ever, but he's lost a lot more of his physical strength. He's working from a motorized wheel chair now. I don't want to put any more pressure on him than he already has."

"If he's still sharp and not having trouble keeping the fifteenth running, he might feel honored that you'd trust him with your precinct in an emergency; and he's here in Manhattan and has years of experience. If something happened and he had to step in for you, the press would have a field day with the idea of the guy in the wheelchair coming in to command in the fray…there would undoubtedly be references to Raymond Burr and the old Ironside TV show from…humph…from before you were born."

"I remember some of the reruns." Patting his chest and squeezing his biceps, she grinned mischievously and added, "And you're a very manly old man."

"I didn't hear any complaints about the old man last night. And except for the ones about making you late to work, I'll bet I wouldn't this morning, either."

"But the kids will be awake before long, and I do have to be at work. We both need to make our phone calls today. And if it works out, we need to decide where we want to go. I would love to have some vacation time for just us."

xxxxx

"Castle!" several voices called out in greeting as he left the elevator with Jo in her carrier on his chest. It was enough of an entrance that Beckett heard it and went to meet them. She took Jo from the carrier and kissed her cheek as he shrugged the carrier off, giving her the ring sling from the masculine looking diaper bag they had found.

With practiced ease, Beckett wrapped Jo into the sling and adjusted it, the baby's head at her shoulder. Jo looked delighted that her mother had her snuggled close and was talking to her, and Jo was "talking" back.

Some of the other detectives came over to greet Castle, and Lupinski asked, "You want to look at this case, Castle? It's driving us crazy, and it's odd enough to be right up your alley."

Castle looked over to Beckett as she walked with them to the murder board. "Did you…" She shook her head to indicate no.

When they reached the murder board, Castle's eyes went first to the victim and the crosses carved on her forehead and cheeks; and he went still, looking a little pale.

"Rick, are you okay?" Beckett asked.

"Where did this happen?"

"Close to a State Park near Woodbury," Lupinski answered. "The state police called us in because of evidence they found on the body. Supervisor Collins, who was heading the investigation, gave us a few personal effects hidden in the victim's bra. There was a receipt for a coffee shop here in the city, and a key card to a motel where our victim had been staying for about two weeks. Super Collins knew the motel wasn't in their area, so she asked for our help. The whole thing…it's a little freaky."

"What's freaky about it…other than the crosses carved into the victim's face?" Castle was still fixated on the picture of the victim.

"When we talked to the truck driver who hit her, he said he tried to stop but couldn't. In view of the earlier attack, it was ruled a homicide; but nothing makes it look like the trucker wasn't as much of a victim as the woman he hit. And he said something followed her out of the woods beside the road."

"Something?"

"Dressed in a black coat with…" Lupinski started.

"That's the mask he wore, isn't it?" Castle said, pointing to a drawing on the other side of the board.

"How did you know that?" Lupinski asked.

Beckett turned to her husband. "Castle, What's going on?

"It was real," Castle answered, in a bit of a daze.

"What was real?"

"Beckett, I've seen that mask before." He looked upset.

"I'll be back, Lupinski. I just need a minute," Castle told him, moving off toward Beckett's office.

Jo was making sounds that weren't as happy as the ones earlier, as if she could sense the unrest in her parents; and Beckett kissed her head, rubbed her back, and whispered to her to calm her.

"Did I say something? I don't think I've ever seen him like that." Lupinski seemed worried about his friend.

"I don't think it has anything to do with you; but whatever it is, that mask seemed to trigger it. Give me some time to get to the bottom of it. If he knows something, we need to work with it."

Lupinski nodded. "Go talk to him."

"You ready to talk about it?" Beckett asked sympathetically when she returned to her office.

Castle turned from where he stood looking out the window. "I was eleven years old." He went on to tell her that while his mother was in a show, he was in New Hampshire staying with the family of a classmate whose property bordered on an area called Hollander's Woods. He was walking in the woods where the boys had been told never to go alone and saw a man in a black, hooded coat on the opposite side of a fallen tree. When the man left, he went to look and found the body of a young woman with the same markings on her face. Then the man returned, slammed him against a tree, held a knife to his throat, and threatened to find him and kill him if he told anybody.

"Why do you think he let you live?"

"I don't know. I waited until I was back in the city before I called the police…from a pay phone. I was too scared to let them know who I was."

"And who was the girl?"

Castle didn't know. He found out later that the police searched the woods with cadaver dogs and found nothing. Then he told her the lengths he had gone to both then and as he got older, searching newspapers, police and FBI databases for missing persons who fit the woman's description, crimes involving those symbols or that mask; but he found nothing. "Like it never happened. And after a while, I wondered if it had."

"Why didn't you ever tell me this before?"

"I think I didn't want it to be real." After a little pause he added, "But it is real. He's real. He killed before, and he just tried to kill again.

"Come on. Let's go see what we can do to help Lupinski. You can tell him whatever parts of this conversation you feel comfortable with. We'll talk it through and see who we need to contact to verify what you saw."

Lupinski's team got mostly the bare bones of the story, and Castle did include his encounter with the killer. It was enough to find record of the anonymous phone call Castle had made in 1983; but after searching the woods and finding nothing, the police had decided it was a prank and didn't pursue it.

"Have you identified this victim?" Castle asked.

"Yeah. Emma Malloy. She's from Pittsburgh."

"What was she doing there?"

"According to her father, her best friend took her abusive boyfriend's car and left him. She was going to stay with Emma for a while, but she never got there. Boyfriend had an alibi…two states away. They found the car broken down beside the road but no sign of Zoe Addison…that's the friend. So Emma went looking for her. She started where they found the car and was tracing Zoe's path. Somebody at a truck stop saw Zoe get in a car with a man when she left…white sedan with an oval NYC sticker on the back window.

We checked the coffee shop on the receipt. It was here in the city, and the waitress remembers Emma sitting there looking out the window for hours."

"Did the plate numbers ever yield anything?" Beckett asked.

"Plate numbers?" Castle chimed in.

As Beckett swayed to sooth Jo while they talked, Lupinski explained finding several pages of license plate numbers and corresponding addresses. "We found them in Emma's motel room, along with a stack of pictures of her friend. All the plate numbers had the two letters that the woman at the truck stop could identify. We don't know how she got the list, but we're sure Emma was looking for the car. Tory found a car that fits the description registered to an address near the coffee shop where Emma spent a lot of time."

"Any results?" Beckett asked.

"It was registered to Connie Lewis, age seventy. She died three years ago, and Noah Lewis, her son, was living in the house and using her car," Lupinski explained. "He was there but got away, and we're still looking for him.

"We talked to his shrink," Hastings reported. "Lewis looks good for it, but the trouble is that in '83, he was in a military academy in South Carolina."

Castle turned and ran a hand through his hair, and Beckett touched his arm in sympathy. "What about the friend Emma was looking for?" he asked. "Is the other picture her friend, Zoe?"

"Yeah."

"Didn't anybody report her missing?"

"She didn't have family. According to Emma's father, if not for Emma, nobody would have known Zoe was missing," Lupinski told him."

Castle's suddenly had an epiphany. "That's why I could never find the girl I saw in the woods. The killer chose people who wouldn't be missed…hitchhikers, stranded motorists. He asks them a couple of questions, and if they fit the profile, he kills them. And if not, he's just some good Samaritan giving them a ride. That's why he didn't kill me. It would have attracted attention."

Jo was getting fussy, so Beckett said she was going to feed her and Castle said he'd come with her. None of the others said a word. Castle looked like he needed another break. Both Castles closed themselves in Beckett's office and closed the blinds. While Kate nursed Jo, Castle paced and wonder out loud how many times the killer may have done the same thing in the thirty years since he saw him. And he unfairly beat up on himself for not having stopped it when he was eleven.

Kate did her best to assuage his conscience but wasn't making a lot of progress. Lupinski's team being next to his, Ryan had been in on the part of the earlier conversation. He took it upon himself to contact the police near Hollander's Woods in New Hampshire, explained the situation, and discovered there was a record of a traffic ticket for a pick-up truck abandoned on the road next to the woods the day after Castle's encounter there. Just after Kate finished feeding Jo, he came to let them know. A farmer had sent a young woman, a migrant worker, on a supply run the day before; and when she didn't return, he thought she had taken the opportunity to run away. He didn't report it because he didn't want to get into trouble with immigration. Ryan handed Castle a picture of the woman, and the writer studied the picture and nodded.

Castle took out his phone and called Alexis. "Hey, Pumpkin. Do I remember that this is one of your days with no afternoon classes?"

"Yeah. We just got home. Do you need me for something?"

"Any chance you could babysit this afternoon? I'm at the precinct, and I have enough of a connection to this case that I need to stay."

"I could do that. If we leave right now, we could pick Jamie up from school, too. Want us to do that?"

"JD is coming, too?" Castle asked, surprised.

"Yeah, You're on speaker. When is the last time he missed a chance to see our siblings?"

"That would be a huge help. Can you bring Jamie to the precinct? Sergeant McDonald has the stroller behind the front desk. We'll be looking for you."

"Thanks, Ryan," Beckett said. "We both really appreciate this."

"No problem. I'll tell Lupinski." Kate nodded.

Not long after Jo was fed and changed, Alexis appeared at the precinct alone. "JD went to get Jamie, and they should be here any minute. It's a nice day, so we're going to take them to the park…by way of Remy's."

"Jamie will love that." Castle took out his wallet and gave her some cash. "Lunch for my children is on me," he explained.

JD emerged from the elevator then, smiling and carrying Jamie, who was laughing at something he'd said; and they aimed directly for Beckett's office.

Archer leaned back in her chair watching and asked Jennings, "Is there anybody in that family who doesn't look like they belong on a magazine cover?"

"Not that I've noticed," he answered, looking amused.

"Call when you're heading home and we'll have them ready for you," Alexis told her parents. "Your faces tell me this could be a long, hard day.

Kate removed Jo from the sling, and gave her to Alexis, Castle helping her gather all the baby paraphernalia, then said, "You don't think you're getting out of here before I get some Jamie love, do you? Come and give Mommy a hug, Munchkin."

Jamie gave his mother a big hug and then insisted on going with his sister. "JD said we're going to Remy's, and I'm hungry."

"Well, we don't want you to starve." Kate pointed at her cheek, and Jamie smacked a kiss there before he scrambled to get to Alexis and JD. "I want a hug from the big munchkins, too," she insisted. Alexis and JD laughed and hugged her before they left with both children.

"Are you okay, Rick?" Kate asked gently. "I can see this is taking a toll on you."

"Not entirely, but we need to get this guy before he kills again."

"Let's get back and talk to Lupinski."

"We were just talking about seeing Noah Lewis's shrink again," Lupinski told them. Maybe something came up in therapy about someplace he might hide. It doesn't make sense, though. Lewis was in school in South Carolina at the time. I don't understand how this connects to an old murder in New Hampshire…other than the creepy mask and symbols. Although I gotta admit it's hard to see that as a coincidence."

"Who is his therapist?" Castle asked.

"Doctor Van Holtzman," Hastings responded.

"Would you mind if Castle and I talk to him?" Beckett asked Lupinski. "Castle was there when the murder thirty years ago happened. Something might turn up that could trigger a question we haven't thought of yet."

"No problem," Lupinski agreed easily. "Here's the address."

When the doctor came to speak to them and then left them waiting while he finished something, Castle turned to Beckett and said quietly but intensely, "Beckett, I know that voice. From that day in Hollander's Woods. It's him. He's the killer," he answered insistently.

"Castle, that was over thirty years ago. You can't possibly…"

"Kate, when he spoke, I could feel the knife at my throat. I will never forget that voice as long as I live."

In answering Castle, with Castle challenging him about why Noah Lewis needed the mask if he was going to kill the women anyway, the doctor speculated about the mask being the real face of the monster he was…that he wanted his victim to see it and fear it. And the actual mask being the person he had to be every day.

Speaking to Lupinski's team when they returned, Castle argued his conviction that the doctor was the killer and he had chosen his patient, Noah Lewis, as a scapegoat if anyone looked into any of the killings. They all openly doubted that a voice could be remembered so clearly thirty years later; and Beckett allowed her doubts to be heard, too, the group pointed out that there was nothing to show any connection between the doctor and the murder. Castle left then, stating his disappointment that his wife doubted him.

Kate looked frustrated and told the detectives, "I know it sounds far-fetched, but we've all known Castle long enough to know some of his way-out-there speculations have paid off. It might be worth checking into it. Holtzman's Bachelor's Diploma from Dartmouth does put him in New Hampshire at the right time, and we've all seen cases where people who looked squeaky clean on paper turned out to be killers. Whoever it is would need a place to hide the bodies that disappeared, and Castle is convinced there are a lot more than we know about. As the group discussed the possibilities, an officer brought word that Noah Lewis had been found and was being taken to Interrogation One.

After completing the interrogation of their chief suspect and viewing Mrs. Lewis's autopsy results, there was nothing to say that Noah had killed his mother, nor was anything found in his house to indicate any connection to Emma's murder. But he definitely did not appear to be in close contact with reality.

"With the mask and the disappearance of bodies, all three of these murders we assume were committed were obviously premeditated and well thought out. Noah Lewis is resourceful and maybe manipulative, but I don't see that mind as capable of putting together that kind of plan. What do you think?" Kate asked the others.

"I think you make a good point. So, going with Castle's theory…say it's the doctor. Where would the bodies be?" Hastings asked.

"Time for some research into the good doctor?" Kate speculated. "And the same look at Noah Lewis…anything we haven't already covered.

Each of them took a facet of the doctor's history. Before they went home, Beckett and her detectives had decided the killer would need a place to bury the bodies, somewhere that gave him complete control. That sent them on a property search for both suspects and their close family members. Beckett was able to go home and apologize and tell Castle she believed him. She showed him that there was farmland close to where Emma was killed…owned by the doctor's deceased parents, and Holtzman was the sole trustee. It was a place his family might not know about.

"Tax records show that there's a barn on that property," she told him.

"He must have held her there. It's private, in the middle of nowhere. It's the perfect, lonely place," Castle answered.

"Only I would never get a warrant. And if I searched it without one, then any evidence I would find would be inadmissible."

"Because you're a cop," he answered dejectedly.

"But you're not." It sounded like a suggestion, but one he would never have expected her to make. "It would be trespassing. You would be breaking the law. But if you found something… And I know how much this means to you; so whatever you decide, I will back your play."

He called Martha, taking advantage of her day off the next day, and arranged for babysitting. "We'll do something nice for you soon," he promised.

"Have your wife make us her mother's pot roast recipe…one we don't have to share with the rest of you. That and time with my grandchildren is enough." Castle thanked her and went back to talk to his wife.

"I know the kind of hit your cop senses are taking to even think about suggesting this." Castle told her. "I can't imagine passing up the opportunity to stop this guy, but I won't do it at the expense of your hard earned career."

"Castle, you're the most important thing in my life. You're my future when the kids are grown and we're old and gray…and I intend to be yours. I can see what this has done to you all these years. We both know he's going to kill again, and I don't want him to be something else that haunts you like Tyson. You need closure, and if I can give you that and have to give up my career because of it… Well, we were aiming in the direction of less work time anyway."

"But you shouldn't lose the option of being a good captain because you're trying so hard to be a good wife. I love that you want to take care of me, but…"

A lengthy but mild argument ensued, and Castle finally won. The next morning, with a plan to cover Beckett's professional reputation as well as they could, they drove two separate cars to the area of the farm. Castle went ahead in his own car, and Beckett followed about half an hour behind. He stopped to get coffee at a convenience store, making sure to be obvious as he flavored it, and then got back in his car. Before leaving the parking lot, he called Beckett, told her where to find the convenience store, and took his time driving to the farm. She stopped at the store for her own coffee and showed the cashier a picture on her phone.

Kate held up her badge and asked, "Have you seen this man in here recently?"

The young man looked and nodded. "Maybe half an hour ago. He looked kind of…I don't know…determined or something. He looked like he was in a hurry, but he stopped long enough to make a phone call from his car." Looking a little sheepish about watching the customers, he explained, "A lot of times it's kinda slow in here, so part of the entertainment is watching the people that come and go. Did he do something?"

"Not yet. I'm hoping to stop him from doing something. Thanks for your help."

"Good luck," the young man answered as she walked out the door.

She called Castle and told him she was on her way, to wait for her call before he went in, and to keep his phone on speaker when he did. "I want to know what's going on the whole time you're there. Love you."

"I love you, too."

Then Kate dialed another number. "Super Collins? This is Captain Kate Beckett, NYPD. The detectives you spoke to about that odd murder recently are part of my command. I may need your help. I think my husband may be doing something stupid. I don't know if he's there yet, but I'm heading to a piece of farmland where I think he's planning to go in without permission. He's a civilian who occasionally works with us, and it turns out he had a childhood experience connected to the case you called us about. He witnessed another murder with the same symbols and the same mask and was threatened by the killer. I'd like to save him from B&E and trespassing charges if I'm fast enough. And more importantly, I'd like to keep him alive if the killer is in there."

"Give me the location, and I'll be there as fast as I can," Collins answered.

Kate started toward the farm and let Castle know where she was. He timed his entrance into the barn to her arrival time and went in with nitrile gloves in his pocket. After looking around at what was stored there, he spotted what looked like a car under a tarp and told Kate he found it. It was identical to the one Noah Lewis had been driving, even had the same plate numbers. He put the gloves on after that. If he found the killer's souvenirs, he wanted the only fingerprints to be the doctor's. Just as he let Kate know he had found an album of all the victims, Dr. Holtzman made himself known.

Beckett was getting out of her car when Supervisor Collins pulled to a stop. "I was too late. He's already in there. He called me to let me know he's sorry, but he felt he had to find something. I told him to leave his phone on speaker so I'd know what's happening. I guess we have to go and get him.

Then both women heard, "Oh, god. I see photos of his victims. I see all of them."

Then there was a loud slam, and Castle whispered, "Beckett, here's here. He's inside."

"That was followed by another male voice asking, "How did you find me?"

"I've been looking for you since Hollander's Woods."

"The boy. That was you? I should have killed you when I had the chance." Holtzman taunted as they talked to one another from the darkness, each playing a game of cat and mouse.

"You can't win, Holtzman. We know who you are."

"It doesn't matter. You'll both be dead, and they'll never find me."

Beckett and Collins ran to the barn, both with their guns drawn. Beckett pulled at the door and then banged on it, shouting, "Castle, it's locked. I can't get in."

Holtzman had barred the door that Castle came in. The mask had been hanging on a post, but he was now wearing it. He took advantage of Castle's efforts to get back out of the barn and appeared from the darkness, surprising and overpowering him, and they both fell to the barn floor, the killer's knife in his hand.

Holtzman was still taunting Castle, and Castle was struggling as hard as he could to keep the knife away from his throat. Both law enforcement officers could hear what was being said and hear the struggle as it played out, and they knew they didn't have much time; then Castle's hand stretched, palm up, under the opening at the bottom of the time damaged door as he desperately called, "Beckett!" She placed her weapon in his hand, and he pulled it back under the door and emptied the gun into the man whose knife was already penetrating his skin. The doctor fell dead beside him, and suddenly everything was quiet. Once he sat up and regained his senses, he removed his nitrile gloves, stuffed them in his pocket, and lifted the bar from the door. Then he walked out and into the arms of his extremely relieved wife.

After seeing the relieved reunion, Collins said, "I've got it from here, Captain. Take care of your husband. We're going to need to talk about charges, but you can give your statements after his medical check. We'll talk then."

"I can give you my statement now," Castle offered. "The knife was frightening, but the damage isn't too bad…" Suddenly looking less than certain, he asked, "Is it, Kate?"

She had already looked, but she pulled his collar farther back and checked again, saying "If it were, we'd be on our way to the closest hospital by now."

Collins checked, too, agreeing that it didn't seem too bad. "If you want to give your statement first, there should be somebody to see to the wound for you by the time we finish. Let me put things into motion first. You sure you're up to it?" After Castle agreed he was, she walked away from them with her phone, arranging for the services she needed, and Castle stuffed his gloves in Beckett's pocket in case they searched him.

When Collins returned, Beckett asked her, "Should I write my statement while you take his?"

Collins nodded, "You know what we'll need, Captain. I'll ask questions if there's anything else."

xxxxx

By the time Castle had been charged, bail had been posted, and he and Beckett had driven their separate cars home, Martha and John had put the children to bed. Martha was shocked and upset to see the marks and butterfly bandages on her son's throat.

"Mother, I'll tell you about it later, and about something else I never told you…from when I was eleven and staying with Barry's family in New Hampshire. There will probably be something on the news in the morning, if not the late news tonight. I don't know how bad it's going to look for me, but we have a state police supervisor mostly on our side. To bring this killer into the light, whatever I have to live with is worth it." He wasn't sure how he was going to tell her that he killed the other man…or how he was going to sleep that night.

Once they were in their room, Kate wrapped her arms around her husband, rested her head on his chest and the tears finally fell. "I was so scared. He shouldn't have been there during the day. We even checked his work hours. He should have been in his office today. This was all my fault. It was my stupid idea, and it almost got you killed. And you ended up having to kill somebody to save yourself. I knew what I was doing was wrong, but it turned out to be so much worse than I'd imagined. I'm so sorry, Rick…so, so sorry. I never wanted you to have to live with taking a life. This all turned out so miserably wrong."

"Not in my eyes," he answered," stroking her back and cupping the back of her head in his hand. "That man can't terrorize and kill another young woman again, and Super Collins backed us on the imminence of danger to my life. She argued strongly for self-defense. The mystery is solved, and people will know who Holtzman really was. Cadaver dogs identified sites of multiple bodies buried on the farm and there was the album of before and after photos of his victims. And because you were worried about me, you went against every law enforcement instinct in you to help me have some closure...risked your career because you love me and you knew how much I needed it. I never wanted to put you in that position, either. But thank you." After a little pause, he nuzzled in her hair and added quietly, "You may have to help me through a few nightmares."

"We'll probably be waking each other from them for a while. It was so close." She held him tighter and burrowed her face against his shoulder, avoiding any pressure to his neck. "And I probably still owe you for more than a few nights of helping me through nightmares anyway. You've done more than your fair share of that. I'm so sorry about all this. I don't think I can say it often enough to make it better."

"Let's take a shower and…"

"Should you do that with…" she reached to touch his neck carefully with her fingertips.

"A bath, then. But I can still feel the dirt from the floor of the barn. And Holtzman's blood was on my clothes. I need to clean up, but I need you close. You may have a clingy husband for a few days."

"Yeah? Well, that will work out fine with your clingy wife. Come on, then. We'll figure out the best way to get you clean…and then see if we can sleep."

"I love you, Mrs. Castle," he said, holding her tight.

She kissed him and led him to the bathroom.

xxxxx

"Kate," he said firmly. "No matter who you think you can trust, you have to be careful not to say a word at work to give away anything to do with my breaking into that barn. You don't need it known, and friends shouldn't have to carry that for us. The situation is covered. Our phones were on speaker and Collins heard everything from where Holtzman came into the barn. He said he should have killed me when I was a kid. He said he intended to kill us both. She can vouch for the fact that it was more than simply defending his property against a trespasser. I may have to deal with a trespassing charge, but that will be worth it. And I know you. You're going to spend a long time beating yourself up over what happened. You don't need to destroy your career over it, too." Hands on her shoulders, he held her at arm's length as if laying the law down to a child. "You will go to work, talk to your detectives, and stick to the story we agreed on. And I will stay home today and take all the joy I can find from being with our two children. Then you'll come home and share that with us."

Doing as Castle demanded, Beckett gave the detectives the story she had told Collins, performing it as well as Martha could have in the telling, and told them about the confrontation in the barn. "Collins said she thought the evidence of murders that was found in the process would speak for itself, but we'll have to wait to see what happens with Castle."

"Why would he do that?" Hastings asked.

"Desperation…resolving a childhood trauma, wanting justice for the victims…and trying to keep me out of it. We didn't believe him yesterday; so when we had a location, he struck out on his own before anybody got in his way. He wasn't expecting Holtzman to be there, though. He expected him to be at his office." Pinching the bridge of her nose and looking like she might break any minute, she said softly, "God, Castle came so close to dying yesterday, and I couldn't get in. I followed him after he left, and he called me when he was going inside. I wanted to know he was okay, so I told him to keep his phone on speaker; and I could hear all of it…the back and forth between the two men, Holtzman's taunting and threats…but when I got to the door, I couldn't get in. I was so scared. Supervisor Collins drove up just as I was getting out of the car, so she heard most of it, too. They've found eight bodies buried on the land so far, and they're not done yet. Holtzman planned to kill both of us…said nobody would ever know we had been there."

"What kind of charges is Castle facing?" Hastings asked. "I mean, Castle killed Holtzman while trespassing on his property."

Collins heard enough to know it was more than just defending against someone who broke in. Holtzman remembered the encounter with Castle when he was a boy and said he should have killed him when he had the chance. I had called her on my way and asked for her help. We're almost certain the shooting will be ruled self-defense. He may have to deal with the trespassing charges, though." She shuddered briefly and seemed to pull herself back to Captain mode, and her old friends said nothing about it.

"I have a copy of our statements for you," she told them. "When the paperwork is done, we can close this out."

Ryan stopped at her office door a little later and asked quietly, "Is Castle really okay?"

"Not yet. We've been through a lot together, though. He'll get there."

"And how about you?"

"We came close to losing him yesterday...so I'm gonna have some work to do, too."

"Anything I can do to help, just say so. Jenny and I care about both of you. You know I mean that, right?"

"I know, Ryan. And thank you."

He gave her a small smile and nodded; then he went back to his team, and Beckett went back to her paperwork.

xxxxx

A couple of nights later, Beckett asked, "How did it go with your lawyer and the DA this morning?"

"Winston called me when he got back into town. The DA there never planned to press charges on the shooting. He said from what Collins heard and then witnessed, it was clearly self-defense. Finding the album of his victims and that many bodies buried on the premises probably helped my case, too. There was no doubt he was willing to kill. They negotiated the breaking and entering and trespassing charges to a respectable fine and community service time. He's waiting to hear when and how many community service hours I'll have to put in. Maybe they'll let me work in the library?" He shrugged sadly. "Whatever I have to do, though, the world will know those women died at the hands of Dr. Holtzman."

She looked up at him and nodded, moving her fingertips to his neck. "The cut on your throat is beginning to heal."

Putting his arms loosely around her waist, he said, "Sweetheart, please don't say you're sorry again. We did our homework, and there was no way we could have known he would be there. Turns out that calling Collins was the best part of the plan."

"I will never skirt the law like that again. I did it and we were both punished for it."

"Thank you for taking care of my childhood trauma…and the more recent one. Sorry I've been so clingy. Between work and family, you haven't had a minute to call your own."

"Doesn't matter, Rick. I've been clingy, too. You didn't notice because you were busy doing it yourself." She moved her head back to his shoulder and stated determinedly, "We can't let you be in a situation that could turn out that way again. As a police captain, I know I'm not as much in the line of fire as I used to be, but one of us being where that could happen is more than enough. One of my recent nightmares is that we both died a few days ago and our children were left without either of us; and if the situation at that barn had gone any farther south than it did, our babies could be orphans right now. Holtzman planned to kill both of us. You can still help us with cases now and then. That mind of yours is a goldmine sometimes. But no more field work. It's non-negotiable."

"Agreed," he answered.

"I'm probably still going to be clingy for a while," she told him as she slid her arms around his middle. "Is that okay?"

"We'll just be clingy together," he answered, holding her close. "Why don't we lie down for that?"

"Try to save each other from the bad dreams?"

"Yeah."

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