86. Chapter 86

Chapter 86

"Should I talk to her now or let her come back down to us?" Castle asked his wife on a sigh.

Before she could answer, Alexis appeared at the top of the stairs, looking around hesitantly.

"He's gone," her father assured her.

Kate settled Jamie safely in the baby carrier and went to get out a container of ice cream and three spoons while Alexis came down to join them.

Castle held out his arms and enfolded his little girl in them. She rested her head on his chest, wrapped her arms around his waist, and just accepted the comfort.

"How is he, Dad?"

"About as miserable as you look…at least when he thinks about you. We had a good visit, though, like we used to."

"Until I came barging in early?"

"He really was about to leave when you got here…maybe not quite as fast as he did, though." He tugged her hair gently to let her know he was teasing. "He's a good man, Alexis, and if he still wants to see us now and then, we'll see him. It might be somewhere other than the loft, though, to avoid situations like today. He kind of got under our skin. Kate and I care about him, so I told him if he ever needed either of us, he should call. His grandad won't be there forever, and I share your opinion about his parents. Not much support from them."

"I'm glad you did that."

"You still think you made the right decision?"

"Yeah. I wasn't being fair to him. But I miss him, too."

"I've told him I'm not going to be running interference for the two of you. You're the two most level-headed kids I know. If it's supposed to work, you'll figure it out." He kissed her head, left one arm around her shoulders, and turned them toward the breakfast bar where Kate was moving Jamie up next to the ice cream so he was close to them. "Now let's go see your baby brother."

"Jamie," Alexis cooed at him grabbing his feet and playing with them and leaning to kiss his fleece covered toes. "What are you up to, baby boy?" And then she was smiling again.

Kate handed her a spoon, and the three adults dug into the carton of chocolate ice cream.

"What do you say we introduce your brother to ice cream?" Castle whispered to his first born.

"I heard that," Kate told him.

"Are you going to be a spoilsport, Eagle Ears?"

"No, but just a tiny taste." she said with a smirk, bumping Castle's shoulder with hers.

"I knew that," he answered, bumping her back. "You want the first honors?" Castle asked Alexis.

She grinned and scooped up barely more than a drop of the chocolate ice cream on the end of her finger and put it on her brother's lips. Then they all watched as Jamie's face registered infant versions of what they saw as surprise, confusion, and curiosity. His lips pursed, then smacked, then his tiny little tongue came out and tested…and the rest of the family chuckled.

"I think he liked it," Castle said as he gave him another taste. And the whole show happened again, accompanied by a few baby noises, kicking feet, and more audience laughter.

Then Kate said that was enough, and Castle and Alexis high-fived as Kate took Jamie with her to the sofa. She sat there with the baby stretched out facing up on her legs from knee to thigh and talked to him playfully as she moved his hands and tickled his tummy.

Watching her, Castle said to his other child, "Are you aware that the woman with the baby over there was afraid she might not be a good mother?"

"Yeah," the girl answered. "She was so wrong."

Kate looked over at them with an appreciative smile and went back to playing with her baby. "Do you want to take him for a little while?" she asked Alexis.

"Yes," she answered right away. "He's so sweet." Taking him from Kate and looking at Jamie adoringly, she said, "I love that he has so much hair. Most newborns are close to bald."

"It isn't that much," Kate answered. "I mean it doesn't look like he stuck his finger in a light socket or anything. He just has a generous head of hair…like his ruggedly handsome dad."

Castle, of course, looked pleased.

"I can't believe you're encouraging that, Kate. I thought you said his ego was big enough already."

"Well, everybody needs a little boost now and then. And I love your ruggedly handsome dad," she said as she stood. "I'll leave Jamie in your capable hands. You two have fun. I'll be back in a few minutes."

As she walked into the study, Castle was saying, "I didn't tell you yet what Jamie did to your mom this afternoon. She was changing his diaper, and…"

"There's no way that story isn't finding its way to the precinct, is there?" she called over her shoulder.

"Ummmm... Nope," he called back. Then she heard his expressive storytelling voice spinning the tale of Kate's icky, wet shirt. That was followed by a peal of higher pitched laughter and a teenage voice saying, "Jamie Castle. How rude!"

Kate closed the bedroom door, went in the bathroom, and put the mostly dry shirt from that morning in the hamper, gathered up the things she needed from the bedroom, and gave Castle a little time with both his children to himself.

As she was in the study, about to go back to join the rest of her family, Alexis called, "Kate, I think he's getting hungry."

"I thought it was about that time," she said. "I'll be right there." She stopped at the end of the sofa and put something down on the table behind Castle, then she took Jamie from their daughter's arms and talked to him about always being hungry like his father.

Alexis laughed and excused herself to go and study, and to call her roommate and let her know she would be staying at the loft for the night. Then Kate handed Jamie to Castle, who looked confused until she retrieved what she left on the end table and handed it to him.

"A bottle?" he asked. "I thought we weren't going to give him anything but breast milk for a while."

"We aren't. That's the reason for the funny looking pump you gave me such a hard time about."

"So this is…"

"Yep. Still from Mommy. Your turn. Solo flight with the newest Castle."

"You didn't have to do this."

"I wanted to. I want to watch you be that close to him this time. There's something about seeing a very big man being so gentle with a tiny little baby that really does it for me."

"Well, in that case… Help me make this look easy, Son. We need to impress Mommy." He settled his baby in his arms and got him to accept the bottle. When he was sure Jamie was satisfied and eating well, he looked at Kate lovingly and softly said "Thank you."

She didn't say anything, just scooted closer to him on the sofa and stroked his upper arm as she watched.

"That was it, wasn't it?"

"What?"

"The moment you were talking about…the melt? When he relaxes, kind of feels a little heavier all of a sudden and then melts into a snuggle and seems so content...like he completely trusts you to take care of everything he'll ever need."

"Yeah, that was it. I remember that with Alexis. It was the most awesome feeling in the world…and the scariest at the same time. When it happened the first time, I knew I was all in. I had no idea what I was doing, but I was all in. It was a life changing event. Do you get that same feeling"

She nodded. "You're right. It's awesome," she answered.

"Doing everything else is great, but there's something about feeding them. It's giving them what they need to sustain life…quite a responsibility. By the time I had Alexis, I could afford that without a problem; but I think about what Mother had to go through to do the same thing for me… There's no way I could ever not take care of her. She chose a rough road when she decided not to give me up.

She bent her head and kissed his shoulder, and he could tell she was trying not to break his connection to their son. Every time he thought he couldn't love her more, she gave him moments like this to prove him wrong. It was such a small thing on the surface, but she knew it was much bigger to him…and he was exulting in every second of it.

She left her hand on his arm but rested her upper arm on the back of the sofa and lowered her head to her arm.

Castle spoke softly and soothed and hummed short tunes as he waited for his little boy to finish the bottle. "He has a pretty healthy appetite, doesn't he?" He was about to lean forward to put the bottle down, but Kate did it for him, handing him a small towel for his shoulder in its place.

"Time to get rid of the bubbles," Castle told the tiny little person he held against his shoulder.

Kate gradually worked herself back into the male sphere of activity beside her, and they talked about their appointment with the pediatrician the next day.

"Esposito said he and Maria both have the day off tomorrow, and Gabe is excited about seeing Jamie. They're picking him up after school and want us to meet them at the ice cream shop after our appointment."

"He's barely six," Kate answered with a smirk. "He could easily be just as excited or more about the ice cream shop."

"True," he conceded, looking pretty content himself. They leaned their heads on the back of the sofa, legs stretched out in front of them, looking straight ahead as they talked. Castle had Jamie snuggled close on his shoulder. "It's March, but it's going to be cold and windy tomorrow. Not the best day for ice cream."

"When you were six, did you care about the weather when there was ice cream involved? I know I didn't." There was a pause before Kate spoke again. "Lanie is coming by for a little while after work tonight. That's what the phone call was while you and Alexis were with Jamie."

"How long is a little while?"

"Probably as long as it takes for Jamie to be awake so Aunt Lanie can hold him."

"This place has been like Grand Central lately."

"Apparently the boy is a big draw," Kate answered dryly.

"Apparently."

"Meagan gets home tomorrow afternoon, and you know she'll be here tomorrow night. She hasn't even seen him yet."

"That probably means your dad will be here, too," Castle teased.

She huffed a little laugh. "More than likely. She left early on the day Jamie was born, but she said that was her last obligation away from home. She calls it her pre-retirement plan."

"So, Lanie tonight, Esposito and entourage for ice cream tomorrow, and probably your dad and Meagan tomorrow night?"

"Yep." She took a deep breath. "I love them, but I'm tired."

"Me, too."

"It'll be nice when it all settles back down to us and Alexis and Jamie and our parents most of the time." Looking over at him, she said, "I think this is an order in night."

Castle simply nodded his agreement as he gently stroked Jamie's back. "Text Lanie and tell her to let us know when she leaves. We'll order when she calls and she can have dinner with us."

Alexis came back downstairs, and they told her the plan for the evening.

When Kate looked back to her two men, she said, "He's getting sleepy. His eyes are blinking and staying closed a little longer each time." Turning to Alexis, she asked, "Do you want to put him to bed?"

Big sister took the opportunity right away, and Castle sat up and transferred her little brother to her. "I checked his diaper a few minutes ago," he told her. "I think he's ready for bed."

She took him to her dad's desk chair in the study where she could sway back and forth with him, and he was sound asleep in a few minutes. After she eased him into the bassinet, she started back to her parents, looking pleased with herself, and met Kate coming toward the bedroom.

"Everything okay?" Kate asked.

Alexis nodded, then pulled Kate into a big hug, saying, "I'm sorry."

"You're sorry? What happened?" Kate sounded concerned, as if she might be worried about Jamie.

"Jamie's fine," Alexis answered from Kate's shoulder. "My manners, not so much."

Kate relaxed, squeezed a little tighter and, sounding amused, asked, "What's wrong with your manners today?"

"I might have eavesdropped a little while ago…before I came downstairs. I was kind of lurking where you wouldn't see me."

"Did you hear something that upset you?"

"No. Just made me love you more."

"So what did you hear, and why did you listen? That isn't your normal MO."

"I heard everything from you and dad talking about the melt moment until when I came downstairs. He was talking about remembering that same thing with me, and he looked like he loved it so much, and you were looking at him like you loved him so much…" She pulled back, looking down. "Part of it was that the two of you looked so close, and I didn't want to interrupt. The other part was that Dad sounded like he was remembering me the same way he looks when he's holding Jamie, and I wanted to see if he was going to say more. I know my mom probably isn't capable of feeling that way about anybody, even her own child, and I…I guess it just felt good to hear Dad talk about it. My mom doesn't even want me now the same way you do. You included wanting me in what you said. And I'm a little jealous over it, but I'm really glad my little brother has been getting that from both of you from the minute he was born."

"Well, I may not have been there from the beginning, but I'd still like to think you completely trust me to take care of everything you'll ever need…as much of it as I can, anyway."

"I do. Sorry I eavesdropped."

"We'll let it go this time. Special circumstances." Alexis gave her another quick hug.

"I'm gonna just go peek at him," Kate said, pointing toward the bassinet a bit sheepishly. "I can't seem to help myself."

"Sometimes I sneak in just to look at him, too," Alexis admitted, and then she went back to the living room.

"Want to watch a movie?" she asked as she passed her dad outside the study door.

"Sure. Go pick out a few to choose from. I'm just gonna go…"

"Look at Jamie for a minute?" She grinned. "Kate and I just had that conversation."

Castle walked to the bedroom door and watched his wife watching their son.

"I know you're there," Kate whispered, and he walked over to join her and put his hands on her shoulders.

"Thank you," he whispered in return, kissing the crown of her head.

"For what?"

"How you handled things with Alexis. I might have done a little eavesdropping of my own."

"Do I need to put GPS trackers on both of you so I always know where you are?"

Castle just smiled and said, "We should let him sleep. Alexis is picking out movies for us to choose from. You interested?"

"Yeah. Let's go see what she's got."

Lanie called about the time the movie ended, and Jamie woke up not long after she arrived. They brought him to the table and put him where they could play with him and talk to him as they ate, and Lanie claimed him for herself afterward. Kate and Lanie took him into the study while Castle and Alexis cued up another movie.

After asking questions about how both Kate and the baby were progressing, Lanie talked to Kate about Franklin Stokes. "I really like him, Kate, but he scares me. I think he's ready to try for something serious."

"And, in the words of someone who used to shame me about running away from relationships… What exactly is it that scares you about having a fine, fun, upstanding, good-looking man you obviously care about and who obviously cares about you?"

"I knew you'd throw that back at me one day." The ME huffed a little sigh and looked down at Jamie. "Why is the male of the species so confusing, Kid?" Jamie just watched her and batted at her lips, and she and Kate laughed. "I've always enjoyed a variety of men…in a variety of ways. Javi came closer than anybody else to being more than nice time spent together, but nobody has made me want make it permanent before. For the last month Frank and I have been skirting the issue of my going with him to California to meet his parents. He's going for a weekend next month, and I have the vacation time to take; but that feels like a pretty big step."

"It's a good idea, though. They're going to be part of your life if it gets more serious. If you can't stand them, you may need to come home and make some decisions about where it goes from there. But I think you should go. You said it's a short visit. If it's awful, you can always ditch them, do some sight-seeing, and meet him back at the plane when it's time to go home."

"You make it sound so easy."

"It was easier for me. Martha already lived here and we already liked each other."

"I wish I could be as certain as you and Castle are."

"You know that didn't come easy…until someone wisely staged a brazen intervention, for which Castle and I will be forever grateful, and made us get our heads out of the sand. Once we admitted what we wanted, things got better. Maybe a trip together will help you sort things out. But I wouldn't advise staying with his parents. It might take some just-the-two-of-you-time to keep things in perspective. And, if you have the time, maybe take an extra day or two for decompression before you get home."

"Maybe you're right." Pulling Jamie to her as he reached curiously for her hair, she said, "Your mommy thinks she's so smart now. All showing off her good sense."

Kate grinned at her. "You're just jealous 'cause you're not on the advice giving end this time."

"You're probably right," Lanie admitted. Then, in a totally un-adult move, she stuck her tongue out at her friend, and they both laughed. Lanie kissed Jamie on the forehead then, and said, "Frank is supposed to come over when he gets off at nine. And, yes, I promise to talk to him about the trip to California. Then, if that isn't a complete disaster, I guess I have to take him to meet the hopeful Ma and Pa Parish in New Orleans. Not high on my list of possible good times."

Kate took Jamie from her and lifted him to her shoulder. "Keep me posted?"

"I will," Lanie said as she left the study. "Thanks for listening."

"Anytime. I'm glad you came by. Tonight was fun."

'Night Castle, Alexis. Thanks for dinner," Lanie called on the way out.

When it was just the family again, Kate fed Jamie; and when he went to sleep, she and Castle went to bed, too. It had been a long, day with a lot of emotional ups and downs, and they were both wiped out.

xxxxx

Jamie's report from the pediatrician the next day was glowing, and both parents left feeling proud of themselves.

The next stop was for ice cream, and Javi, Maria, and Gabe were already there waiting for them. Mr. Rick is here. Can we get ice cream now?" Gabe asked his mother.

"Told you," Kate whispered with a grin.

"Is that the baby in there?" Gabe asked, temporarily forgetting the ice cream.

"Maybe not," Castle whispered back to her.

"Why is he under a blanket? Doesn't he have a coat on?" the six year old asked.

"He has a coat and hat," Castle told him, "But the wind is blowing, and it's really cold, and he's just a tiny little baby. The blanket keeps the wind out. Want to pick it up and peek in?"

He smiled excitedly. "Yeah."

Castle put the baby carrier on the table and said, "You have to be careful. Can you do that?"

Gabe nodded, his big, soft brown eyes showing his excitement, and asked, "Do I pick it up here?" he asked, touching a corner.

"Good thinking. I'll get the other side, and we'll put it on top of his seat." They lifted the blanket and put it on top, and Gabe smiled.

Kate reached down and opened Jamie's coat, taking off his hat, too.

"Mommy, he's really little, just like Orlando's little brother."

"Orlando is our next door neighbor," Maria explained. "He was born the day before Jamie."

"But Jamie has hair," Gabe added with a giggle. "Orlando's brother is kinda bald."

Everybody laughed, and Jamie kicked his feet and made little cooing sorts of sounds. When Gabe reached his finger out to Jamie's hand, Jamie grabbed it and held on. Gabe smiled and said, Orlando's brother did that, too." Turning to his mother, he asked, "Mommy, can we get a baby, too?"

Conversation stopped momentarily, and Maria was left to answer the question. "You can't just go somewhere and get a baby any time you want to. There's more to it than that. Maybe someday, but not now."

Then Kate came to the rescue. "You can't just go somewhere and get a baby, Gabe," she said with enthusiasm, but you know what you can just go and get?"

"What?" the little boy asked.

"Ice cream. Come on. Let's see what flavors they have."

Gabe happily got up and went with Kate to check out the flavors. Maria mouthed, "Thank you" as they passed, and Kate gave her a conspiratorial smile. Then Maria gave Esposito her ice cream order, and volunteered to stay at the table with Jamie.

"Good move," Castle said softly to Kate as the men joined them. By then, Kate had Gabe actively involved in discussing ice cream flavors.

When they were all back at the table with Gabe facing Jamie, Castle said, "Jamie likes ice cream, too, but he's really little so he can only have a little taste." He did the same thing he had done the day before, put barely enough to taste on Jamie's lips, and got the same response from both Jamie and his audience, Gabe giggling hard at all the faces and sounds.

"Do it again?" he asked, and this time Kate took care of the ice cream…and let Jamie take care of the entertainment.

When the ice cream was finished, Maria and Gabe left. Her mother was expecting them that night, and that served Esposito's purpose well. He wanted to talk to Castle and Beckett anyway.

"Looks like you and Maria are okay now," Castle said. "You're spending more time with Gabe, aren't you?"

"Yeah. I'm getting attached to the little guy. If we split up now, it would be a double whammy. Hard to believe, huh? Me this attached to a little kid?" He stopped and took a deep breath. "I've been thinking about it a lot lately. I think maybe I'm ready to settle down. I think I'm going to ask her."

"Javi, that's great," Kate exclaimed, putting her hand over his.

"Yeah, it is," Castle agreed, slapping his friend's upper arm easily. "When are you going to ask her?"

"See, that's part of why I mentioned it. I need to get her a ring, and I don't even know where to start. It can't be so expensive I can't afford to take care of them, but I want to give her something nice. And I want it to be something she can wear at work without having to worry about it. You got any suggestions, Beckett? What would make it work for her as well as look good?"

"Want me to go with you to look around? I still have a month of maternity leave."

"Yeah, That'd be good," he answered, looking relieved.

"Mother will be back from her auditions tomorrow. I think she knows where to buy any kind of jewelry available in New York City, everything from things she'd only use for costumes all the way up to things that could destroy all my bank accounts. I'll ask her for some suggestions, and I know a couple of guys myself."

"Thanks. Both of you. I want her to feel special, you know. And if I'm gonna do this, I want to do it right. I don't want to be like my dad. I want to help teach Gabe to be a good man…to respect his family."

"And you will. No doubt in my mind." Kate told their friend. "Call when you have some time off, And, the more I think about it, better be prepared for company. If you're not careful, you could end up shopping with the whole Castle family."

"Hey, at least you'd know we care," Castle teased.

"We need to get Jamie home and settled. Us, too, actually. It's likely we'll have company tonight," Kate told Esposito as she buttoned Jamie back into his coat and pulled his hat back on him. Then Castle pulled the blanket back over the baby seat and picked him up to leave.

Once they were home, they got Jamie out of his outdoor clothes and into the bassinet. And when it looked like they might get away with it for a while, they stretched out on the bed side by side and smiled at each other.

After a couple of minutes, Castle whispered. "The quiet is nice,"

"Let's see how long we can enjoy it, Kate whispered back, "before anybody else tries to enlist us as relationship consultants."