39. Chapter 39

Chapter 39

Kate got home during the conversation Alexis was having with Ashley and slipped in the kitchen to help Castle with dinner.

After the rather mushy end to her phone conversation with Ashley, a starry-eyed Alexis turned to her father, who was chopping veggies for dinner, and sighed. "Stanford sounds so amazing. I can't wait for January."

"January?" Castle asked.

"When I leave…for Stanford."

"What?"

"Alexis applied for spring admission. You remember," Martha prodded, still wearing one of the costumes she was making in preparation for her acting school.

Stopping what he was doing and feeling Kate do the same thing, he answered his daughter. "Yeah. I just thought… Well, you haven't talked about it for a long time, so I thought…"

"Because every time I did, I saw the look on your face. That look, right there," she said, almost accusingly.

"No, Honey, it's just that Stanford is a big decision. You should think it over."

"I did, and there's no downside. It's a great university. Ashley's there. I mean, I'll have enough credits to graduate from high school early."

After Castle's rambling attempt to make her want to finish her senior year with her friends at school, and Alexis receiving a text with Ashley's Stanford password, she left, looking relieved, and went to check online for the classes he was taking.

"Nice outfit, Martha," Kate whispered with a little smile..

"Thank you Lady Beckett," she answered with a little curtsy, in keeping with her medieval costume. "Richard, are you crying?" she asked suddenly.

"No, it's the onions," he answered, wiping his eyes.

His mother looked at him skeptically, then she left to change clothes.

Kate rinsed her hands and slipped her arms around his waist. "It's just us now. It isn't just the onions, is it?"

"Maybe not entirely, he admitted. "She wants to go all the way across the country, Kate."

"Of course, early graduation didn't figure into the picture for me, but my father and I had a very similar conversation my senior year. He had the same look on his face…and the same arguments about friends and being so far from home." She held him a little closer and snuggled into his embrace, leaning her head against his shoulder when he pulled her against him.

"Really?"

"Really."

"She's too young to be that far from home."

"You're too young for her to be that far from home. She's supposed to still be ten years old? Isn't that it?"

"Maybe," he conceded with a pout.

"She'll be eighteen in March…and she's probably better prepared than either of us were at that age to be that far from home and on her own. Look, I don't like the idea, either, but Rick, she's learned to be responsible. She has a good head on her shoulders, and a good sense of reason…things we all know you helped her learn, no matter how the family jokes about it. And she doesn't mind letting you in. My having a conversation with a boyfriend in front of my dad at all, let alone like the one she just had with Ashley in front of you…the chance of that that was non-existent for me. I always kept my grades up, but I had a wild streak she doesn't seem to have." She paused a moment and sighed. "I need to apologize to him for that someday. I'm pretty sure it was easier on Dad that I was on the other side of the country. But Alexis has a good sense of herself and is willing to stand up for what she thinks is best."

"Yeah, I think I just got a taste of that."

"And you have to know you're never going to lose her, no matter how far away she is. She's going to love you forever. That said, though, I think those sentimental onions are getting to me, too. Maybe we'll luck out and she'll decide it's too far away…and maybe she'll go to Columbia, or Princeton, or somewhere else closer to home. Does she have her acceptance letter yet?"

"I don't think so, but for spring admission, it should be here soon. That's going to feel like the final nail in the coffin."

"Well, let's get back to making dinner and feed her well and enjoy her while we still have her close."

Pulling back to look her in the eye, Castle told his wife, "My vocabulary will never be big enough to tell you how much I love you."

"The feeling is mutual," she answered, giving him a loving kiss before getting back to meal preparation.

Their dinner conversation wasn't as easy as usual, Alexis being in a little bit of a pout. No one pushed her, and she retreated to her room after taking her dishes to the kitchen. But, as Castle sat in his office working on an outline for the next Nikki Heat chapter, she returned and launched determinedly into her intended conversation.

"I've been thinking about this, and I think you should be happy for me."

"I am. I am. I'm just gonna miss you. That's all"

"Me, too," she conceded, "But this is what I want."

"Come and tell me about your classes. What will you be taking in January?"

When Castle noted that all she mentioned were Ashley's classes, she was angry again. He pointed out that not a lot of people get a chance to go to a school like Stanford and she should follow her own dreams.

After another brief altercation, she asked, "Why does everything I do have to make sense? Why can't I do what I want every once in a while?" Then she threw at him, "That's all you ever do." And she stormed away and went back to her room.

Coming out of the bedroom after her shower, Kate caught the tail end of the raised voice and the slamming door upstairs.

"I take it whatever that was about, it didn't go well."

Castle recounted the conversation, ending with, "I didn't even ask her not to go. She had decided to take the same classes as Ashley, and I only told her she should choose her own. Is that how she really sees me, Kate? Just doing what I want all the time? If I did that, she wouldn't get a check to pay for tuition any farther away than New York City."

"Of course it isn't how she sees you. Right now she's angry and feeling like you're challenging her plans. She doesn't even have the acceptance letter yet, so she can't actually sign up for those classes. There's still time. Let her get over her snit. You've told her the right things, and she'll see reason once she calms down. You're an amazing father…exactly the kind of dad I want for our…" Her voice trailed away when she noticed the joy in her husband's eyes.

"I love it when something about our babies just falls naturally into our conversation."

"Totally out of character, isn't it?" she answered self-consciously.

"Not so much anymore."

"Well, right now let's just take care of the kid we already have. From firsthand girl-leaving-home-to-move-across-the-country experience, I can guarantee you she's feeling just as pulled in two directions by this as you are. But she can't give in and back down from her arguments quite yet. Give it a day or two and try again. The two of you are really good at this. I didn't talk to my dad the way she talks to you. I went to my mom with things like this."

"Because you had one who cared."

Kate nodded and sat down in his lap, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and planting a soft kiss on his cheek.

"Yeah, I did. And Alexis knows she can talk to me if she wants to. Sometimes I just listen because all she needs is to figure things out where somebody else can hear it. Then all I have to do is agree when she's actually done all the work herself. She's awesome, Rick. You did good."

"Running his fingers through Kate's hair and cupping the back of her head to pull it to his shoulder, he answered, "And I'm so glad she has you, too."

xxxxx

It was Thursday, and Beckett was both nervous and excited. She had been getting up early for runs or workouts with Meagan since she had been back at work, and she felt good about her progress. Her appointment with the first doctor was scheduled for early in the afternoon, and an appointment with Dr. Burke was scheduled later on. Desk duty officially ended on Friday, pending her doctors' approvals, and she had the weekend off. She was much stronger physically, maybe not a hundred per cent but pretty close. Dr. Burke's evaluation was her biggest concern. She felt she had made enough progress to return to the field, but it was the doctor's opinion that would count. If all went as she hoped, she would go to qualify at the firing range on Friday and be back on full duty, weapon and all, on Monday.

A case the rest of the team briefed her on near closing time the day before was a blessing for Beckett since it kept her busy until her appointments in the afternoon. Until it was time to leave for her first appointment, she ran down information on the phone and the computer, trying to find anything that might look like a lead.

Castle went with her, and the first appointment went as they expected. She was granted permission for full duty. They stopped for celebratory coffee on the way to Dr. Burke's office and lingered over it talking about a little of everything, including the degree of probability that Burke's evaluation would also go well. They both felt it would, but Castle knew Beckett would be on edge until she had it in writing.

"Hello, Kate...Rick," Dr. Burke greeted as he welcomed them into his office, and they sat down in their usual places. "You know that this appointment is to be a brief one. I'm sure you feel that this is the day of reckoning, so I won't keep you in suspense. Kate, I would like to continue to see you once every two weeks for at least a couple of months to keep tabs on your progress once you're back in the field. That's a very different experience than working from the precinct. I've put that in the form of a recommendation rather than an order, and I've approved your return to full duty as of Monday.

Kate released a big breath in relief. "Thank you." She reached for Rick's hand and smiled.

"You've worked hard for this, Kate. You've earned it," Rick told her proudly.

"That, you have," Dr. Burke agreed. "I want you to remember, though, that you've been subjected to a tremendous amount of both physical and emotional trauma, and there's no shame in coming back to me later on if you need to. If you do, don't wait until it becomes overwhelming. Rick, the two of you have a good understanding. If you see it before she does, the two of you should talk. And Kate, if he thinks he sees a problem building, listen to him. The two of you work well together."

"Thank you, Dr. Burke," Castle said appreciatively. "You've helped both of us."

Handing Kate a folder, Dr. Burke said, "This is the paperwork Captain Gates will need. Good luck. Take care of yourself."

"I'll make an appointment for two weeks from now. See you then."

"I'll look forward to it."

Kate stopped at the front desk on the way out and made her next appointment, then she and Castle left smiling.

"I feel free," she told him.

"You look it, too. What do you say we go to the Hamptons since you have the weekend off? It always feels a little freer there."

"I say that sounds great."

"So, how did the appointments go?" Martha asked when they got back to the loft.

"Approval from both doctors," Kate answered, holding up the folder Dr. Burke gave her, which now contained both doctors' paperwork for Gates. "As of Monday, I'm back in the field."

"I reserve the right to worry, but I'm happy for you. I know this is what you wanted." Kate was wrapped in a big, motherly hug.

"Congratulations, Kate," Alexis said as she came down the stairs. "I'll worry, too, but I know you must be going stir crazy by now."

"I am definitely stir crazy. I have this weekend off, and we talked about going to the Hamptons this weekend. How does that sound to the two of you?"

"I'm not sure," Martha answered. "One of my acting friends thinks she's about to get tickets to a new show we're dying to see, and she's supposed to call if it works out. It's been sold out most nights since it opened, and someone in the show may have a couple of available tickets…a friend of a friend…you know how that goes." Her answer was accompanied by dramatic arm motion. She concluded with, "If the tickets are available we simply can't pass them up."

"What about you, Alexis?"

"Two big tests on Monday. I should probably stay here and study. I'm sure you and Dad wouldn't mind a little time to yourselves."

"We wouldn't mind some time with you, either. We'd leave you alone enough to study at the beach, but we could still take our walks."

"No. I should stay here. You two go and enjoy it. It's nice this time of year. It isn't too cold yet, and most of the tourists have gone home for the winter; so it's quiet and peaceful. Some of that peace and quiet wouldn't hurt before you're back in the field."

"We brought Italian for dinner," Castle said, holding up a bag and changing the subject until he and Kate could talk about the trip later. "Thermal bag this time. It should still be warm and ready to eat. Get the dishes while we put it on the table."

A few minutes later, everyone was helping themselves to excellent Italian food.

xxxxx

On Friday morning, Beckett walked into the precinct armed with everything necessary to be fully back in her element on Monday…except requalification with her weapon. She marched directly to the captain's office and said, "Sir, my paperwork for full duty."

Gates looked it over. "I see there's a recommendation attached to the psych eval along with the clearance for duty in the field."

"Dr. Burke doesn't seem to be someone who would allow me back if he expected problems, but he said he wanted to follow up for a couple of months to keep tabs. I've already made the first appointment."

"No. He wouldn't allow you in the field if he didn't think you were ready. I've crossed paths with Dr. Burke in other cases. I trust his opinion, and I'm glad you're going to follow his recommendation. I'd feel better if you were partnered with a trained officer, though."

"Noted. Permission to go to the range to requalify this morning? I can't go back in the field without my gun."

"Not a problem, Detective."

"Thank you, Sir."

"Looks like your morning coffee has arrived," Gates said dryly. "Why don't you go as soon as you've logged in?"

Beckett nodded and made a beeline to her husband and her coffee.

"I can go and requalify this morning. You coming with me?"

"Of course." Then he smiled and said, "I'll never forget the first time we were at the firing range."

"Yeah. You tricked me into touching you…made it look like you could use some pointers."

"And then I tricked you into promising copies of case photos when you thought I couldn't meet your challenge."

"I have to admit to being impressed…and annoyed."

She logged in to her computer and checked to see if she had received anything new on the case they were working on. Then she left the boys a note telling them where she was and that the lab sent information, picked up her coffee, and said, "Let's go."

She and Castle returned later looking satisfied. She again went straight to the captain's office and placed her target on Gate's desk. "I'd like my gun back," she announced. The captain looked at the evidence of very accurate shooting and raised her eyebrows, looking impressed.

"If it makes you feel any better, should Castle need to use a weapon for any reason, he'll know what to do with it. This is his target."

Gates opened a target showing equally impressive accuracy. "And where did a writer learn to shoot like this?" she asked.

"Book research. He said he needed to know how it felt to shoot a gun if he was going to write about it accurately, and he enjoyed it. He even took a class that took him through something similar to the military's street fighting training but less intense. It was a long time ago, but he said it helped with writing Derrick Storm. He's taken classes in profiling and criminal psychology, too. He likes his writing to be accurate. And he and his daughter have done some fencing…which also started with book research and developed into something they both enjoyed. There's more to him than meets the eye."

"It seems there might be." Gates reached into her desk drawer and pulled out Beckett's gun. "I expected you'd qualify, so I had it waiting for you."

"Thank you, Captain."

"Now get back to work," the captain said brusquely; but if someone were watching very closely, there was a barely there hint of a smile accompanying it.

"You have a gun again," Castle said with a grin. "Sexy." That garnered him a full Beckett eye roll followed by a smile.

"I threw a few more impressive Castle facts at the captain this morning…and gave her your target as well as mine. She was impressed, even if she only asked where a writer learned to shoot like that. Then I hit her with the rest. We're going to get through to her eventually."

"I'm glad I have you on my side." He reached across the desk to take her hand briefly. "We don't seem to be all that needed at home. Mother sent a text saying she has her tickets for tonight and she can be at the loft on Saturday night. And Alexis would ignore us to study anyway. Have you decided if you think we should take them up on their offer and go to the Hamptons alone tomorrow morning?"

"It does sound nice, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, it does." He gave her a little growl and said, "Right now I want to nuzzle your neck and nibble your earlobe, and…"

"Stop right there. It's still morning, and if we're going to be stuck here all day, you're going to have to control that. Otherwise I won't be able to work. And no, we can't leave early. I already have the entire weekend off."

"Spoilsport. Wet blanket…" It appeared that he intended to go on, but Beckett interrupted.

"You do want to keep working at the precinct, right?"

"Well, when you put it that way…" He sighed and asked, "So where are we on this one?"

xxxxx

They did go to the Hamptons for the weekend, just the two of them. The days were sunny and warm enough to enjoy being outside near the ocean, but the nights were cool enough to enjoy a roaring fire in the big bedroom fireplace. They took their walks during the day, enjoyed each other's company, wandered through a few shops finding small gifts for Martha and Alexis, spent their nights ensconced in each other's arms, and went back on Sunday night rejuvenated and ready to face whatever grizzly or heartless things the job of a homicide detective might bring.