80. Chapter 80

AN: Just a reminder before you read this chapter... The whole George and Izzy thing never happened in this fic, so there are no issue between George/Callie/Izzy. I didn't care one way or another about the whole 'Gizzie' thing (except the name. Hated the name.), but never understood why the show did the back and forth thing with them to just...end whatever had never started. I had no idea how to add that into this story, so I just chose not to have it happen.

"This is what you invited me to?" Addison asked, walking up to the table at Joe's that Derek was sharing with Mark and Preston. "This is your big bachelor party?"

Derek shrugged. "It was last minute and I needed some warm bodies."

"Which would explain why I'm here," Mark stated, not missing a beat.

Derek chuckled, but if he was honest with himself, he wasn't minding the plastic surgeon's presence at all. It was almost...nice. Despite all of his intentions not to, maybe he was slowly getting his best friend back.

Addison laughed at the exchange, before quieting. "Why am I the only girl, by the way?" She asked as she took of her coat.

"The girls are doing the bachelorette thing with Cristina. Thought you'd be more comfortable here."

His ex-wife nodded in understanding. They were working on the friend thing too. She understood that he had wanted to include her. "As long as I'm not expected to be the entertainment. I am not stripping," she joked.

"That's okay," Derek countered, "We've seen it already."

"True," Mark added, again not missing a beat.

"I haven't," Preston joined in, causing Derek and Mark to laugh and Addison to glare at the three of them.

"Well, why don't I buy you a drink instead," she offered, now ignoring the laughing. "First round's on me."

"I'll give you a hand with that," Mark called, following her to the bar.

Derek watched them go thoughtfully. For a while there, he had started to believe his ex-wife and his ex-best friend were going to make a go of it. But his talk with Mark the week before had put an end to that thought. And he wasn't sure how he felt about any of it. He was, however, surprised to find himself hoping they could both be as happy as he was.

"So," Derek prompted, turning his attention back to Preston. "Did Cristina write her vows?"

"I guess I'll find out tomorrow. I wasn't allowed to talk about it today because it was test day."

"Right. Of course."

"How's Meredith doing?"

"Okay. I think. I want to kill Thatcher. But she seems to be okay. She's struggling to hold on, but after tomorrow we have two weeks off to deal with everything."

"I'd want to kill Thatcher too, if I was in your position, but that's not going to accomplish anything."

"Hmm, that's what Mark said."

"Meredith didn't deserve what happened this week. She's a very good friend to Cristina."

Derek smiled at this. "They're not like other women, are they?"

Preston laughed and shook his head. "No, they're not."

"But they're worth it. Thatcher gave her this crap today about how I should 'get out while I still can,' and when I look back over the year I get that a lot of things have happened. There's been a lot of stress and pain, but it's all worth it. We've gotten through everything together. So as long as I can remind her that I'm not going anywhere, we should be fine. I've never been happier, regardless of all the crap."

Preston nodded slowly, evaluating his words. "Sometimes I don't feel so sure. Cristina and I...don't always get through everything."

Derek shook his head. "But you have, because you're here." He clapped him on the back. "You're getting married tomorrow."

"Sometimes I just wish we could be stronger."

"You'll get stronger," Derek assured.

"I hope so. Right now I..."

"What?" Derek asked, feeling a streak of genuine concern.

"Nothing. Just cold feet, I guess."

"That's normal. Night before the wedding."

"It'll all be worth it when I see Cristina walking down that aisle tomorrow."

"Exactly." Derek nodded, and any further conversation was cut off when Addison and Mark returned with the drinks.

**

"What the hell am I supposed to do about the stupid vows...?" Cristina whined, half lying on the kitchen table, spinning her margarita glass in front of her.

"You still haven't written anything?" Meredith asked, getting concerned.

"Oh, it's stupid crap."

"No, it isn't," Izzy spoke up from across the kitchen.

"Well, what am I supposed to say?" Cristina demanded, sitting up. "I swear to love and cherish you every moment of every day of my life?"

"Take away the sarcasm and it sounds fine," Callie retorted.

Cristina turned to glare at the older resident. "But that's not real. That's not how it works, right?"

"Not really, but it's what you're supposed to say," Callie responded. "It's the right thing to say."

Meredith furrowed her brow both at Callie's words and tone. Callie and George had only been married a few months. Shouldn't she be happier than this? "Just say something nice."

"She's not capable of being nice," Izzy countered. She, being the romantic optimist, had been on the receiving end of Cristina's complaints and ranting several times already that night.

Meredith laughed at her roommate, but turned back to Cristina. "You don't have to say a lot."

Cristina made a face and turned her attention to Callie again. "What did you say?" She asked, picking up a pen and preparing to write.

Callie shrugged. "Don't remember. We were drinking. Pretty much repeated whatever we were told to. Not so romantic."

Cristina sighed. "See, you're lucky. That's what I want. Why couldn't I have fallen in love with George?"

"Oh-kay," Meredith said, walking over to the table and lifting Cristina's drink away from her. "Enough alcohol for you for now," she declared, exchanging an amused glance with Callie.

Her best friend glared at her, but motioned for her to sit. "What are you going to say?"

"What?"

"To Derek. When you get married. What will you say?" She picked up the pen again.

Meredith rolled her eyes. "I have no idea. And even if I did, I wouldn't tell you. Isn't it supposed to be personal?"

"Except that it's not. Everyone hears it, Meredith. There's going to be two hundred people listening to me say some stupid, fake, romantic thing tomorrow." She groaned. "I hate Burke for wanting to do our own vows. At least there's no judgement with the standard ones."

"What's the big deal?" Izzy asked, also coming over to sit at the table. She had been making some food that was now in the oven. "It's your wedding. Everyone's supposed to hear it."

"But I don't want anyone to hear it. I don't say stupid romantic things when we're alone, so why should I say them in front of two hundred people?"

"Because it's romantic!"

"But I'm not romantic."

"Then why are you getting married in a church in front of two hundred people?" Callie asked, also sitting at the table.

"I don't know. Ask Burke. I wanted to get married at city hall."

"Just tell him you love him more than surgery," Meredith suggested, only to end up on the receiving end of her best friend's glare. "What?"

"I don't love him more than surgery. I'm a surgeon. It's what I do."

"Fine. Think about how much you love surgery and say that to Burke."

Cristina laughed. "It could work."

Izzy scoffed. "What is wrong with you? The man you love wants to marry you. You're supposed to be looking forward to this. Marriage is amazing."

Despite Cristina's rather unsupportive response back to Izzy, Meredith felt a sudden overwhelming sense of wanting. She wanted to be married to Derek. She didn't want a big wedding with romantic declarations of love, but she wanted to be married. Soon.

Now.

Her thoughts, however, dissipated as she recognized unhappiness in Callie's eyes. Being newly married, shouldn't she be smiling at Izzy's insistence on how great marriage was? Instead, the orthopaedic surgeon's eyes were downcast and her face frowning.

That made Meredith frown.

**

"Cheers!" Mark called, as the three men celebrated their forth rounds of drinks. Addison had been called away, leaving the three of them again.

"This is nice," Preston commented after he had taken a sip.

"Mmm," Derek agreed with a nod, putting his glass down.

"Especially for Derek," Mark piped up. "Brunette by the bar is checking you out. She's been staring for at least ten minutes."

Derek rolled his eyes. "Shut up."

"I'm serious."

"Whatever. I'm taken." He took another sip of his scotch. "Why don't you go over?"

Mark shook his head. "Dude, you never ditch a bachelor party...not that you can call three people, including the groom, a party."

"Don't be making fun of my party," Derek retorted. "Next time you won't be invited. And Preston is having a good time. Aren't you?"

"Absolutely," Preston said with a laugh.

Mark scoffed. "You two are pathetic."

"I'd like to see you round up more people on such short notice."

Mark shot him a look, but remained quiet, obviously having nothing to say in his own defence.

**

"You have to come up with something to say, Cristina," Izzy practically yelled, "Otherwise you're going to be standing up there with nothing to say!"

Meredith shook her head as she leaned back against the couch. They had moved into the living room once the food had been ready. Izzy was sitting on the other side of the couch. Callie was in the chair and Cristina was sprawled across the shorter couch, her hands over her face, groaning as Izzy lectured her.

"I hate this! Vows are stupid. Weddings are stupid. This whole thing is stupid."

"We're going around in circles," Meredith spoke up.

"Can't you guys just write something for me? You're my stupid bridesmaids. Isn't this your job?"

"Definitely not."

Cristina continued to grumble. "Some maid of honour you are."

Meredith giggled. "Fine; just tell him you love him and can't imagine your life without him."

"That's way too generic," Izzy cut in before Cristina could answer. "Vows are supposed to be personal."

"How about telling him you love him more than aortic dissections?" Callie suggested. "That's personal."

Cristina made a face. "But I really love aortic dissections."

"How about appendectomies?" Meredith suggested.

"That would work. I definitely love Burke more than appendectomies."

"That doesn't work!" Izzy called, clearly frustrated. "Seriously? What is wrong with you people? You have that thing everyone else is looking for, and this is how you feel about love?"

Cristina shrugged. "Apparently."

"Well, it's wrong."

"How is it wrong? It's the three of us against you. You're wrong."

"I'm not wrong."

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you-"

"Okay!" Meredith called. "This could go on for a really long time."

"How about we have a contest? Who can come up with the best vows? I'll be the judge."

Meredith rolled her eyes and threw a pillow at her best friend. "You're pathetic."

"No, you're pathetic," Cristina countered, having barely flinched when the pillow landed on her chest.

"No, I'm-" She cut herself off. Arguing wasn't going to help. "Just...tell him how he makes you feel."

"Right now he's making me feel stressed, angry and hateful of weddings. But I'm pretty sure wedding Barbie over there would have a problem with me getting up in front of two hundred people and saying that. Plus, I'm pretty sure Mama would assassinate me."

"Other than the stressful wedding stuff," Izzy prompted. "What made you say yes to marrying him?"

"He banned me from his surgeries until I said yes."

Silence fell as the three bridesmaids exchanged a look. They needed to get Cristina to write something.

"How about telling him how glad you are to have found someone you can love at work and at home." Callie suggested.

Izzy nodded her agreement. "That's a good start."

Cristina sat up and reached for her pen and pad of paper – the ones she hadn't actually used yet. "Okay, what else?"

"Tell him you look forward to your future," Meredith offered.

"And you're glad he's a heart surgeon, because you trust him to take good care of your heart," Izzy finished.

Cristina made a face of disgust, but recorded the words anyway.

Meredith laughed. "That's really corny, Iz."

Izzy huffed and kicked at her roommate. "Whatever. I won't be helping you when it's the night before your wedding and you can't think of anything to say."

"I'm not getting married like this. We're staying small. And after this, I'm going to tell him I want the standard vows. We know how we feel about each other." She shook her head. "I'm with Cristina. I don't want to announce that to the whole freaking world."

"Why are you two so difficult?" Izzy complained.

Cristina shrugged. "You're the difficult one."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are..."

Meredith sighed and exchanged a look with Callie. This was going to be a long night.

It was a little more than an hour later that the party was interrupted by the sound of the front door opening. And before they could hear or see who it was, Meredith knew it was Derek. There was a shuffling as he put his jacket and shoes in the closet, and then he appeared in the hallway, smirking at the sight. "You ladies having fun?"

Meredith tried to glare at him, but ended up smiling at his expression. He was trying hard to hold back a laugh. Wedding paraphernalia and rolls of toilet paper were everywhere. Izzy was currently wrapping bands of toilet paper around Meredith's torso.

Unable to help himself, he strode forward. "I see you decided to wear a dress after all."

She made a face. "Shut up. It's a stupid game and I lost."

He laughed and turned his attention to Cristina. "Your groom says hi. He's looking forward to tomorrow and won't be hung-over."

"I can't say the same for myself," was Cristina's reply. "I hate weddings."

"We've made a lot of progress tonight, as you can see," Izzy said sarcastically.

"Mmm, I do see." He turned back to Meredith. "I'm going to go to bed and leave you ladies to your party."

"Okay."

He smiled and leaned in to kiss her. "You okay?"

She smiled back at him and pecked his lips. "I'm okay."

"Okay." He kissed her again. "I love you."

She felt her cheeks redden ever so slightly at the amount of attention he was giving her while the three other women looked on attentively, not even bothering to pretend to be giving them privacy. "I love you, too," she whispered.

He kissed her one last time before turning and heading up the stairs.

"He's so sweet," Izzy commented as she continued to wrap the toilet paper around Meredith's torso. "Seriously, Meredith, he's perfect."

She smiled. "He kind of is."

**

Meredith groaned early the next morning as a pager awoke her. Some time early that morning, possibly only an hour or two ago, she had stumbled up to her bedroom and tucked herself into bed next to her fiancé. Behind her, Derek echoed her groan and reached across her to blindly swipe his hand across the nightstand. When his fingers found the vibrating object, he pulled it towards himself and blinked wearily before sighing and planting a kissing between Meredith's shoulder blades.

"It's mine. Consult."

She turned in his arms and tucked herself into his chest. "Sorry."

He pressed his lips to her forehead and chuckled. "No, you're not."

"No, I'm not," she agreed. "But I am sorry you have to go in so early."

"Just one more day," he reminded.

"Mmm-hmm," she agreed, closing her eyes.

"Okay," he murmured sleepily. "I have to get up before I fall asleep again."

"I..." She began, but trailed off.

"What?"

"Nothing. Never mind."

"Meredith."

She lifted her head to meet his eyes, offering him a small smile. "Can you just...stay...for one more minute?"

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I just...I still feel...Can you just remind me that I'm okay?"

"Oh, Mer," he mumbled, understanding. She just needed a minute. He wrapped his arms around her. "I'm here. Just one more day."

She nodded against his chest. "I just have to make sure Cristina walks down that aisle today. Then everything will be okay."

"This time tomorrow, things will be better."

Meredith giggled. "Because we'll be sleeping."

He chuckled. "Okay...twenty-eight hours from now things will be better."

"Mmm, okay," she let her head rest against the pillow, her nose tucked against his chest.

"Our friends are getting married today. And then it's our turn." He ran his hand in circles on her back.

She smiled and closed her eyes. "Our turn...just have to get Cristina down the aisle..." She mumbled sleepily.

"Sleep, Meredith," he murmured, his words falling warmly against her forehead. "Just sleep..."

And that was the last thing she heard. The next thing she knew, Cristina was shaking her awake. "The hospital is calling. Let's go!"

With a groan, Meredith reached her hand across the cold sheets beside her. By the light coming through the windows, Derek had been gone for a couple hours. She rolled over and glared at her best friend. "I'm trying to sleep."

"But you're being paged."

"No, I'm-" She was cut by the unmistakable sound of her pager going off. She groaned. "Why?"

"Because. Now hurry up."

"Are they paging you too?"

"No, but they paged everyone else, so it must just be a mistake."

Meredith rolled out of bed and stumbled towards the bathroom. "Give me five minutes. And get me coffee!" She called after Cristina. Red eyes and a puffy face made up her reflection in the mirror as she brushed her teeth. She made a face and closed her eyes, hoping for a short and uneventful day at the hospital before the wedding.

She didn't get her wish.

She spent her day dodging sympathetic looks from other doctors, nurses and hospital staff, catering to the Chief's pregnant and disillusioned wife, dealing with her anxious best friend, and waiting apprehensively for her test results. After crying through the test the day before, she couldn't even remember a single question. At the time she had felt confident enough leaving the test room, but now she felt a building sense of dread.

"You're hogging the mirror," Izzy stated, bumping Meredith's shoulder. They were in the intern locker room, rushing to get ready for the wedding, as they were out of time. After Mama had taken Cristina's eyebrows, Meredith had had to force her best friend out of surgery and into pre-wedding clothes, putting them behind schedule.

"Okay," she mumbled, moving over, rolling her mascara over and over in her fingers.

"You okay?"

She sighed and turned to her roommate. "Do you ever...have doubts?"

"About what?"

"Everything."

Izzy smiled. "All the time," she stated, before turning and heading back to her locker.

Meredith shook her head, trying to snap out of it. She had barely slept in the past week. Maybe she was starting to lose her mind. There were just too many things to think about; too many things to worry about. She needed it all to stop. She was exhausted.

With a deep breath, she twisted open her mascara and carefully applied it before stepping back and taking in her reflection. Izzy had done a wonder helping her to hide the bags under her eyes. "Tomorrow," she whispered to herself. Tomorrow this would all be over. She and Derek could spend the whole day in bed and packing. No more hospital and stress – other than meeting his family of course – for two whole weeks.

She swallowed hard. She could do the family thing. It may not have ended well for her the last...every time she had tried it, but she could do this. For Derek. He had a good family, she reminded herself. It was going to be okay.

"Anyone got any deodorant?" Alex called out, breaking Meredith from her thoughts. She made a face and shook her head.

"Uh, you're not putting my deodorant on your hairy armpits," Cristina responded.

"Don't move," Izzy chastised, struggling to draw Cristina some eyebrows, "Or you're going to have a unibrow." She turned her attention to Alex, "I have some in my locker."

"Uh, closed or open?" George asked, his hands on the lapels of his jacket.

Meredith glanced at him. "Closed."

He did up the buttons and she smiled. "Perfect. Dashing."

He smiled. "Thanks."

"You look great," Izzy called, looking up from Cristina's eyebrows. "So do you," she said to Cristina. Except for the rollers, of course." Cristina's hair was up in large rollers, on Mama's orders, to be taken down at the last minute.

"I think she looks beautiful with the rollers," Meredith said. "You should walk down the aisle like that."

Cristina muttered something colourful at her.

"Okay, how do I look?" Izzy turned to Meredith.

"Hmm," Meredith reached up and adjusted a pin in Izzy's hair. "Perfect. Me?"

"Perfect."

Alex appeared from around the corner of the lockers, pulling jacket on. "Open or-"

"Closed." Meredith and Izzy said together, before giggling.

It was kind of nice; the five of them getting ready together. Their own version of a family; the kind of family Meredith could deal with.

Alex whistled. "Grey's right. Yang, you look hot. You should definitely get married in the rollers," he said, before ducking to avoid being hit in the face with a make up brush, causing George to laugh.

Meredith smiled. This was her family. Maybe things were a little less out of control.

The door opened behind them, and Patricia appeared with envelopes. "Moment of truth people."

"Are those our scores?" Alex asked, though no answer was needed.

Patricia quickly handed out the envelopes and was gone.

With shaking hands, Meredith tore hers open. Her eyes ran quickly across the lines of text. Once. Twice. Three times. Before she finally allowed relief to flood her body. She had passed. It was over. No more internship. She leaned forward and pressed her forehead against the cool locker in front of her.

"You passed, right?" Cristina said from beside her, worried.

Meredith nodded and stood upright. "You bet your married booty I did." She glanced around. "Everyone else?"

Four smiling and nodding faces greeted her. "Thank god. It's over."

"We made it," Izzy added.

"We're awesome," George piped up, causing them all to laugh.

"We have to go," Alex stated, causing the other four to start moving again.

George was first to the door, and almost smacked right into Derek as he tried to enter.

Meredith met his eyes as he waited for her friends to file past them. She smiled.

He smiled back and stepped into the room once the doorway was clear. "So?"

"I passed."

His smile grew. "I told you." He kissed her squarely on the lips. "You're amazing."

She hooked her arms around his neck and leaned into his chest. "Thank you. For everything."

His hands found her waist and he swayed them slightly side to side. "It's over."

She nodded before pulling back far enough to meet his eyes. "I..."

"Are you okay?" He asked, looking suddenly worried.

"I'm sorry. I'm just tired. I got paged this morning two hours after you."

He nodded in understanding. "And you haven't slept this week. You just have to get through tonight. You can sleep all day tomorrow."

"Trust me. That's the plan." She hesitated. "And...can we talk tomorrow?"

"About what?"

"Just...stuff."

"Meredith..."

"I'm okay," she murmured. "I just...need to tell you now so you can force me to talk tomorrow. I'm just having...doubts...fears...whatever."

"About what?" He was definitely concerned. His hand lifted to cup her face.

She pressed her cheek into his palm and offered him a smile. "Not you. Not us. Just...everything. I worked with the Chief's wife today...she said things... They've been married for so long. And Callie isn't happy. And Cristina is freaking out. And I...I..."

"Oh, Meredith..."

She shook her head, not letting him hug her. Because if he hugged her, she would be done. There would be crying and exhaustion. And she didn't have time for that. "I'm okay. For now, I'm okay. "

He nodded, understanding her. "We'll talk tomorrow."

"Tomorrow."

He pressed his forehead against hers. "You look beautiful."

"Thanks. You look good too." She liked seeing him in suits.

"Meredith!" Cristina hissed from the doorway, slamming open the door and breaking the moment.

Meredith sent her an apologetic glance and grabber the wedding dress. "I'll see you at the church," she mumbled quickly to Derek, before pecking him on the lips and hurrying after her best friend. All she had to do was drive Cristina to the church, make sure she got down the aisle, and get through the reception. That was all. Just another few hours. Then this would all be over.

However, after getting her bride to the church and into the dress, and talking her through a freak out when she realized she had scrubbed her vows off her hands, she had watched the groom break the bride's heart and leave the church. Then she had watched the bride lock herself in the bathroom.

"What do we do now?" Izzy whispered, glancing between the door Burke had exited through and the door Cristina was hiding behind.

Callie shook her head. "I don't know, but they're waiting for us." She motioned to the doors leading to the church, where two hundred people sat on the other side; waiting for a wedding that wasn't going to happen.

Meredith sighed. "I'll go. Just...watch to see if Cristina leaves."

Regardless of how quietly she pushed open the doors, two hundred heads turned to face her and watched as she walked alone up the aisle, trying to keep breathing. She met Derek's eyes, and held his gaze as she moved, taking comfort from him. He met her at the altar where they exchanged quiet words.

"What's going on?"

"Burke took off."

"What?"

"He..." She coughed. "He told her he loved the person he wanted her to be, and then he left."

"Shit," he swore. "Cristina?"

"Locked herself in the bathroom before we could stop her."

"What do we do?" She asked. Everything was now completely out of control. This was not how things were supposed to happen. Burke and Cristina were supposed to be getting married. Meredith and Derek were in the wedding party...they were so much the same...they were next in line to get married. How had this happened?

"You go and help Cristina," he said knowingly. "I'll tell everyone."

Tears welled in her eyes and she nodded. "Thank you."

"And Meredith," he whispered before she could turn away, "It's going to be okay."

She heard his words, but for the first time, they didn't make her feel any better.

Concern lined his eyes, but he squeezed her hand and nodded, telling her to go back down the aisle and help her friend.

All eyes were on her once again as she hurried back down the aisle, listening to Derek begin his announcement.

"She's gone," was the first thing she was greeted with as the heavy doors closed behind her. "She took your keys and she took off."

"She went after him," Meredith muttered. "We're about to be flooded with nosey guests." She turned to Izzy. "Can you drive me?"