47. Chapter 47

AN: I just wanted to bring attention to a new fic that I stumbled across that doesn't seem to be getting much attention. It's called 'The Cure for Pain,' by MissingMcDreamy (It's in my favourites if you're looking for it). It was just posted a few days ago, and at least three chapters are posted a day. It's post S4, well written and dives into Derek's insecurities. Check it out!

Meredith sighed contentedly as she leaned back against Derek's strong chest, her hands playfully running through the mound of bubbles before her. "This was a good idea," she murmured.

Derek chuckled, his lips finding her neck as his arms snaked around her waist. "Mmm," he agreed.

She giggled. "I still think we went overboard with the bubbles."

He nuzzled the back of her head as he moved his lips to the other side of her neck. "Too many?"

"It just seems like a lot."

"I wouldn't know. I've never been much of a bath-guy before..."

She giggled. "You're in one now."

He sighed and his lips forewent their migration across her neck for a moment to nuzzle up to her cheek. "Hmm, this has a lot more to do with who's in the bath with me..."

Meredith smiled as her heart constricted; she really was happy. "It does, does it?"

"Mmm, definitely."

"Good."

He laughed and went back to kissing her neck, his lips reaching as far forward as her clavicle.

She started when his hands began to wander downwards from her waist. "We don't have much time..."

"We have plenty of time."

"You have plenty of time," she retorted. "I have rounds..."

"You can be late. I'll write you a note."

She laughed. "Yeah, cause I can really see Bailey accepting that without putting me on scut for the rest of my life. I wouldn't put it past her; she's already pissed that Cristina is scrubbing in with Burke all the time."

"Then we'll just have to be quick so you're not late."

"Derek..."

"Meredith..."

She giggled, but was cut off before she could respond by the sound of her cell phone ringing.

Derek groaned. "Ignore it."

Meredith hesitated before extracting herself from his arms. "It's early," she reminded. "It could be important." There were very few people who would call at this time in the morning.

"Hello?" She said into her phone after she had hurried from the bathroom to pick it off of her bed side table.

"Dr. Grey?"

"Yes."

"This is Fran. I'm calling about your mother."

Meredith's blood ran cold. "Is she okay?" Footsteps followed her from the bathroom, and she looked up to meet Derek's worried eyes.

"She seems to be okay physically," Fran continued. "But she hasn't been eating much the last couple days."

Meredith ran a worried hand through her hair. "Is she nauseous? Has she been vomiting? She had a benign growth on her liver about eight months ago, but-"

"She doesn't seem to be sick, Dr. Grey," Fran cut her off. "I'm sorry if I've worried you. She just seems...off. When we prompt her to eat, she claims she's too busy. We were hoping you could come in and speak with her."

She sighed as she glanced towards the clock. She'd be late to work, but this was definitely an acceptable reason to be late. And it would be better to go now, in the morning, then after her shift. "I...okay. I'll be in as soon as I can."

"Great. We'll see you then."

"Yeah," Meredith said absently, turning around just in time to see Derek approaching her. He had a towel wrapped around his waist, and was holding a second one out to her.

"Everything okay?"

She tossed her phone onto the bed and sighed. "She hasn't been eating. They want me to come in and see her."

"You're dripping water all over the floor," Derek murmured as he stepped close, swinging the towel around her, and pulling her against his chest. "You going to go in before work?"

"Yeah; I'll call and leave a message for Bailey that I'll be late."

"Oh, I see how it is now. You'll be late for this, but not for me..."

She giggled, knowing he was joking. "It's not so much me, but what Dr. Bailey would accept as a reason. Trust me, Derek, I'd much rather spend the morning with you..."

"Hmm," he murmured, running his hands up and down her back. "Do you want me to go with you?"

"No, it's fine," she automatically, her gut response for every time he offered to accompany her to the nursing home. She loved that he was there for her, but her mother was...a part of her life that reminded her of so many negative things. Her mother reminded Meredith of all the steps she had taken just to get to something resembling 'normal' in her life, and of all the steps she had left to take. It was like Ellis was the source of all of her insecurities, her past, and Derek was the light guiding her to happiness, her future. Her worst fear was her past infecting her future.

"You sure? We could pick up breakfast afterwards. I don't have anything scheduled until the afternoon."

She hesitated; he was so eager to be with her, to help her through these things. "I don't want to make you..."

"You're not making me do anything," he reassured. "I want to do things like this with you. It's what you do when you're in a relationship."

"Okay," she relented. It wasn't like he hadn't accompanied her before to the nursing home. Everything had been okay those times. The sky hadn't fallen. Her future had been just as bright when they had left the nursing home as when they had arrived.

He pressed his lips against her forehead. "Okay, then."

000

Meredith plastered a fake smile on her face and greeted her mother in as upbeat a tone as she could muster. "Mom."

Ellis Grey glanced up from the pad of paper before her, that was covered in who knew how many medical notes about who knew what subject. Alzheimer's was an amazing disease, and each patient was affected differently. Ellis was very rarely aware of the year and happenings of the world around her. She didn't recognize her adult daughter. She didn't realize she was no longer a practicing surgeon. But she could be counted on to give full descriptions of any number of medical disorders without blinking an eye, including aetiology, treatment and recovery, statistics, and history. She couldn't give one piece of information about her daughter's life, but she could recant the development of the Grey Method, from her first inclination of the idea, to her first attempt, to success, to publication.

Once, when Meredith had been studying for an exam in medical school, she had brought her textbook and notes to the nursing home Ellis had lived in when they were in Boston. Ellis had proceeded to tell her that her textbook was crap, give her three reasons not to trust its author – a man she had worked with – and had spent two hours telling her everything she had would ever need to know about cirrhosis. Needless to say, Meredith had aced the exam.

"The nurses tell me you haven't been eating," Meredith continued, sliding into a seat near her mother. Derek sat beside her.

"No time; I've been in the OR all morning, and I have back to back surgeries all day," Ellis said without looking up.

Meredith sighed, wishing her mother would at least look at her. She had gone to medical school in the hopes that it would make her mother proud of her, but the long hours of her internship were keeping her from visiting as often as she would have liked. And she couldn't help but feel guilty for that. "Look, I'm sorry I haven't been visiting more. It's just...I've been-"

Ellis looked up, meeting her eyes with an expression that told Meredith she was annoyed. "I don't have time to coddle you right now," she said, cutting off her daughter. "I'm trying to save lives. Do you understand? Huh, do you?"

Meredith sighed, wondering for the umpteenth time whether her mother was speaking to her as her daughter or as an intern. Either way she obviously wasn't overjoyed at her presence. "Mom," she tried again.

Ellis looked up and met Meredith's eyes for a long moment.

Meredith held her breath, hoping her mother would recognize her today. The Alzheimer's was progressing, and Ellis's recognition of her daughter was occurring less and less. For a second she thought that she recognized a hint of awareness in her mother's gaze, but Ellis huffed and glared at her.

"Did you have something important to ask me? Or are you just going to sit here and try and learn through osmosis? Greatness is achieved through learning and effort, not through sitting around and hoping for something to happen. You'll never get anywhere in this life if you rely on other people to coddle you."

"Mom-"

"You won't last in this program if you don't get your head in the game. Especially you," she said, turning to Derek. "I sent you to pick up my labs an hour ago. Where are they?"

Meredith bit back a laugh as Derek stammered to come up with a response. Apparently he was one of her inters too today.

"I, uh...I'm sorry, Dr. Grey. The lab was backed up."

Ellis made a show of sighing. "So you came back to sit on your ass instead of doing something productive while you wait?" She shook her head. "Maybe you should re-consider your track; go into family medicine where patients don't die when you're unfocussed."

"I'm sorry, Dr. Grey. I'll try and be more focussed."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "What was your specialty again? Neuro?"

Derek nodded, surprised.

Ellis huffed. "You'll never make it. You don't have the determination."

"I...uh..."

"And you need to learn to talk better. A good surgeon can express him or her self with ease. How are your patients supposed to trust a stammering idiot who calls himself their doctor?"

Meredith bit her lip as she struggled not to laugh out loud, both at Ellis's words and Derek's shocked expression. On previous visits where he accompanied her, Ellis spent most of her time ignoring him. This was a new experience for him. "Mom," she finally cut in, preventing the conversation from going any further. "Derek's already a neurosurgeon. Do you remember? I introduced you to him a little while ago."

"He'd never work at my hospital."

"He works at Seattle Grace, as neurosurgeon," she repeated. As tempting as it was to go along with Ellis's timeline, she had been told many times that it was good to establish the actual environment, and do her best to help her mother see the truth. "We work together. Do you remember?"

Ellis stared at her; a look full of annoyance and no recognition.

Meredith sighed. "Mom, do you know me? Do you know who I am today?"

Ellis's eyes narrowed at her. "You're just another of my useless interns who'll never amount to anything."

"Mom-"

Meredith was cut off by a familiar voice behind her.

"Dr. Grey."

Meredith spun on her chair. "Chief."

"Richard!" Ellis exclaimed, jumping out of her chair to hurry towards Richard, her arms coming up to hug him.

With Ellis holding him in a tight hug, Richard offered Meredith and Derek a weak acknowledgement with a nod. He looked uneasy, not having expected them to be there.

Ellis pulled away, her hands finding the small box in Richard's hands. "For me? You shouldn't have," she proclaimed as she hurried back to her seat.

Richard sighed heavily as his eyes landed on Meredith. He obviously hadn't expected her to be there that morning. "The, uh, nurses say she hasn't been eating..." He offered as explanation.

"Oh, you wonderful man," Ellis called as she bit into her first chocolate.

Meredith had to shake her head at her mother's abrupt change in demeanour.

Richard glanced uncomfortably back and forth between Meredith, Derek and Ellis before taking a step back. "I'm interrupting you. I'll go..."

One glance at her mother's crestfallen face was enough to have Meredith jumping out of her seat. "No, Chief, you stay and we'll go."

He hesitated. "Are you sure?"

Meredith offered him a smile. "Yeah. I need to get to work anyway." She glanced towards Derek, motioning for him to join her.

Derek nodded and turned his attention back to Ellis for a moment. "Goodbye, Dr. Grey."

Ellis shot him a glare. "I don't want to see you again unless you have those labs for me."

"Okay. I'll make sure and get them."

He joined Meredith and together they quickly made their way out of the room, snippets of Ellis's comments to Richard reaching their ears.

"Boy thinks he's going to be a neurosurgeon; can you imagine?"

The second they walked out the front door, Meredith couldn't help but laugh out loud. "She really wasn't impressed with you today."

"Hmm, no she wasn't," he agreed.

She reached for his hand as they walked together to his car. "Don't take it personally. She doesn't like anyone who isn't Richard Webber."

"I won't," he said with a sigh. "But...are you okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

They reached his car, but stopped behind it, Derek clasping at her hands. "I just...I can't stand that she says those things to you."

Meredith leaned in to kiss him. "I love that you care, Derek, but I've been dealing with these comments for a long time. It's just who she is."

He sighed and wrapped his arms loosely around her. "Still..."

She giggled. "And apparently I fell in love with a, what did she call you, a stammering idiot?"

He laughed. "That she did."

"See, she just sees things the way she wants to. And she's never cared about who she hurt, not even when she was well."

He gazed at her for a long moment, his fingers reaching up to run through her hair.

"What?"

He smiled warmly and pecked her lips. "I just don't get it."

"Get what?"

"How you're you. You're such an amazing person, Meredith. I just don't understand how you came to be who you are with only her as an influence. You deserve so much better. I just wish I could..."

Her heart swelled in her chest. "You are," she reassured, not needing him to finish his sentence to understand what he was trying to say. "You're here all the time, saying these wonderful things. And you make me happy, Derek. Really, freaking happy."

"Even when I'm a stammering idiot?"

She laughed. "Even then."

He kissed her. "I can't believe she remembered I was neuro..."

Meredith shrugged. "She remembers strange things. You told her you were her neuro consult once, right? When she escaped and you found her in CT?"

He nodded.

"Maybe some part of her remembers that."

"Does it bother you how attached she is to the Chief?"

Meredith sighed. It was a loaded question. "A little," she admitted. "But he's the only thing that makes her happy, and I want her to be happy. She doesn't have much of a life right now, and who knows how long she's got left; so I want her to be happy when possible."

He kissed her forehead and released her so that they could get in the car. "You're a good person, Mer."

She smiled to herself as she made her way to the passenger side of the car. Maybe she wasn't exactly the apple of her mother's eyes, but she had the love of a man who chose to love her. It was a good day.

However, as so many things in her life, her day didn't stay good. She arrived at the hospital in time to hear that George's father had been admitted the night before. And then she had been sent to work in the pit, which was usually bad but not horrible. Today it had been horrible when a little girl had been brought in after being run over by an SUV.

Her workaholic parents hadn't exactly helped Meredith to keep her thoughts away from her own workaholic mother, which had made her, inadvertently, insult her resident. When she had proclaimed that people with high powered careers should think twice about having kids she hadn't been thinking about her resident's situation; she had been thinking about her own mother.

And then Richard had popped her bubble of happiness by telling her he would no longer be visiting her mother. The one thing that made her mother happy was being taken away. And now Meredith was on her own to do the impossible, the one thing she had never been able to do; make Ellis Grey happy.

000

It was late when Meredith trudged up the stairs to her bedroom. Richard's news that day about no longer going to visit Ellis had driven Meredith to head out to the nursing home for the second time that day.

Her mother had, of course, been devastated by the news. She had cried. And it was eating away at Meredith that Ellis wouldn't have given it a second thought if someone had told her Meredith wasn't coming to visit anymore. Her previously bright and shiny outlook on life had faded dramatically as the day had given her one hit after another. And right now, all she wanted to do was crawl into bed with the one person she could truly count on to be there and try and forget this day had ever happened.

The door creaked as she carefully pushed it open, doing her best to be quiet should Derek already be asleep. The light on his bed side table was on, revealing an empty bed.

Meredith furrowed her brow. He had driven her home before she had headed to the nursing home, and his car was in the driveway, so she knew he was home. A flickering caught her eyes from the bathroom, and she padded across the floor to push open the door.

A few strategically placed candles lit the room, revealing Derek sitting in the tub.

"What are you doing?"

He smirked. "I'm naked and waiting for you."

A smile hinted at her lips as she approached him. "How long have you been in there?" She hadn't expected to be as long as she had been at the nursing home.

He chuckled. "About a minute. I waited until I heard your car."

She laughed.

"So," he prompted. "Are you going to join me? We never got to finish our bath this morning..."

Meredith couldn't help but shake her head at his hopeful tone. She quickly stripped off her clothes and joined him.

"Mmm, that's a sight I like to see," he murmured as she stepped naked into the tub and carefully sat between his legs, leaning back against his chest as she had been doing that morning.

"This is nice," she whispered as she allowed the sensation of warm water and Derek to wash over her.

"It is," he agreed, his arms looping loosely around her waist. "How'd it go with your mother?"

She shook her head. "Horrible. She was devastated. I think she's reliving the past from when he actually left her. I can't imagine..."

He sighed and his arms tightened around her. "You'll never have to."

She allowed a small smile to grace her lips. "I know."

"Good," he breathed, and they fell into silence for several minutes.

"I may not be cut out for bright and shiny," she admitted.

"Me neither. That poor little girl...and Mark was driving me crazy all day...and Addison recruited me to talk to the Chief. She thinks he's in a rut, and that we would be able to talk him out of it, only we couldn't stop arguing the entire time."

Meredith laughed. "Callie went all cage fighter on me."

"I'm sorry?"

She shook her head. "She cornered me in the locker room, prepared to kick my ass because she found out that George found out about her and Mark. And she thought I told him."

"And she was going to beat you up?"

Meredith shrugged. "Apparently. Izzy had to step in." She giggled at the memory.

"Hmm," Derek mused. "I guess I missed an opportunity to defend you."

This only made her laugh harder, but she sobered quickly. "George's dad is really sick."

"I heard."

"Stage three," she murmured. "And he needs a valve replacement. I... George is starting to freak out. I can't imagine..."

"He's in the right place. Grace is the best hospital around."

"I know. I just wish I could do something."

"You're there for George," he stated. "That means a lot."

She sighed. "I guess..."

"It was a crappy day."

"You don't know the half of it. There's something going on between George and Cristina that neither will talk about. Cristina decannulated a freaking heart today; by herself. I said horrible things to Bailey. Oh, and Alex and Izzy have gone completely insane and spent all afternoon talking in third person!"

Derek laughed. "What did you say to Bailey?"

"It was stupid, and I was distracted. All I could think about was how little those parents knew about their daughter, and how they reminded me so much of my mother...and I was in surgery with Bailey and we were talking about it and..." She trailed off and sighed. "I told her that people who want high powered careers should think twice before having children. I wasn't even thinking about her and Tuck, really... I just...didn't think."

"It happens," he reassured. "She'll understand that."

"You should have seen the look she gave me. I never meant to offend her. I just..."

"I know," he comforted.

"Promise me we won't be like that," she said suddenly.

"What?"

She turned as much as she could in the narrow space to face him. "You want kids. And I...want kids," she stammered. "And we're both surgeons. So...promise me that we won't be like that. Promise me we'll always know our kids' blood type and favourite song."

"I promise," he murmured, wrapping his arms tightly around her. "We won't be like that, Meredith."

"Are you good with this?"

"With not being like that?"

She shook her head. "With the whole kid thing."

"It's like you said; I want them."

"I know. We've just never really talked about it..."

He sighed, and she immediately knew there was something he wasn't telling her.

"What?" She asked, craning her head to face him once again.

Derek was biting back a smirk. "It's just...we talked about it a little before..."

"When?"

"When you got your appendix out."

She glared at him. "You asked me about kids when I was high on morphine?"

He quickly shook his head and leaned forward to kiss her. "No. You brought it up; I swear."

She grumbled, but lay back against his chest. "What did I say?"

"That you wanted to spend you life with me, get married and start a family."

"Oh."

"Yeah," he breathed.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

He sighed. "Because you were on morphine. You assured me that you had figured it out the day before, but..."

"But," she prompted.

"But I wasn't convinced."

"Then why didn't you ask me?"

"I...I guess I was worried it wouldn't be true."

She relaxed fully in his arms as understanding washed over her. "You really want kids..."

His arms tightened around her. "I want you more."

"It scares me," she admitted. "It scares me that I could end up like my mother, like Mia's parents."

"We won't be like that," he promised.

She nodded and was silent for a long moment. "I was disappointed after I took the tests."

"What?"

"The pregnancy tests," she specified. "Part of me was relieved, but there was this other part of me that was disappointed. That's how I knew I wanted kids. You'll be an amazing father. And I know what can go wrong, so I should hopefully know everything not to do."

"You'll make an amazing mother," he reassured her.

"I hope so," she whispered.

"I know so."

AN: I'm getting back on track with regular updates! I'm not a fan of discussing my chapters in ANs, but I want to make it clear that Meredith is letting Derek in more and more. I think taking him to see Ellis speaks volumes for their relationship. Look for the next chapter soon. Oh, and just to mention; Where You Belong has now surpassed WIHF in length!