42. Chapter 42

Meredith sighed loudly from her seat in the passenger side of Derek's car, and when all the exasperated escape of air did was bring the faintest wisp of a smile to his face, she sighed again, even louder.

He still made no move to respond to her, his eyes carefully tracking the world in front of, beside and behind the car.

She rolled her eyes and huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. "Are you seriously not going to tell me where we're going?"

After a lingering glance at the road before them, he turned his head for a few short seconds to meet her eyes, his sparkling with barely concealed laughter. "You know, you're cute when you're sulking."

Meredith scoffed. "You say I'm cute regardless of what I'm doing, now quit avoiding the freaking issue at hand."

He turned his attention back to the road, but his lips curled into a casual smirk. "You are cute regardless of what you're doing. You're a cute person." He reached blindly for her hand, his fingers landing directly on hers without incidence. He always seemed to know exactly where every part of her was.

She allowed the contact for a moment before snatching her hand away. "I said to stop avoiding the issue. That means not doing flirty thing to distract me."

He raised an eyebrow and shot a glance at her. "Flirty thing?"

"Yeah, the flirty, smirky, happy thing that you've been doing since prom. You know, the thing you're not allowed to do at the hospital?"

"I'm not allowed to be happy at work?"

"Derek!" She hissed, trying to sound serious, even though she was fighting to avoid a telling smile. He knew exactly what she meant. And he knew exactly what to say to get exactly the reaction he wanted out of her.

"Meredith!" He echoed.

With a strangled moan she buried her face in her hands. "Sometimes I don't know why I put up with you," she muttered.

"Because you love me," he quipped, completely undeterred from his mission of keeping her completely in the dark about their destination.

"Unfortunately," she replied wryly.

They had arrived at a stop sign, and Derek dutifully came to a complete halt, but didn't move on right away. Instead he turned to her, his eyes shining wildly as he smiled his trademark McDreamy smile. He made it perfectly clear he was in no hurry to continue their drive. Which was fine, really, since they seemed to be in the middle of freaking nowhere. Meredith rarely ventured outside of the city, other than heading to the trailer, of course. When Derek had told her that morning that he had a surprise planned for her, she hadn't known what to expect. When he had 'strongly suggested' she wear comfortable jeans, a long sleeved top and boots, she had been even more lost. Even so, she had dutifully donned an old pair of jeans, a long sleeved tee and a light jacket, and had obediently gotten into the car with him.

That had been a half hour ago.

Now she was bored and dying to know where they were going. Their outfits didn't scream romantic plans to her, and he hadn't packed anything extra into his car, so they wouldn't be doing whatever it was that they were doing for any extended length of time. She wanted to know where he was taking her.

She needed to know where he was taking her.

But her annoyingly upbeat, flirty, dreamy boyfriend wasn't fessing up.

"Derek..." She moaned, finally giving in and begging. "Please tell me where we're going?"

He shook his head just a bit; not in a way that says no, but in a way that says I love you so much I can't believe it sometimes. In the way that made her heart constrict. "But then it won't be a surprise."

"Sure it will," she tried to reason. "I don't know now, but I will be surprised when you tell me."

"It's not the same."

She groaned. "Can't you at least give me a hint?"

His mouth twitched and his eyes narrowed for a moment as he debated her request. "We're doing something outdoors," he finally said.

She scoffed. "Okay, so you suck at giving hints. I kind of got that from the outfit and the fact that we're in the middle of freaking nowhere."

"Not my problem," he replied, glancing both ways down the empty rural roads before finally pulling away from the stop sign.

"But it is your problem," she insisted. "Because you love me, and I want to know, and I'm going to keep bugging you until you tell me. And because you love me."

"You already said that part."

"I thought maybe you needed the reminder," she said dryly.

He chuckled. "Trust me, Mer, that's something you'll never have to remind me of. It's part of me now. There isn't a single moment where I'm not aware of just how much I love you."

Her heart melted and this time when he reached for her hand, she allowed the contact, even squeezing back tightly. And she even managed to keep her mouth shut for an entire minute.

"If I guess will you tell me?"

"Not likely."

She rolled her eyes. "You know, I could call this kidnapping. You're holding me hostage in your car and you won't tell me the destination. For all I know you could be some closet axe murderer who's taking me out to the middle of nowhere to...murder me with an axe."

Derek laughed. "Damn, and I just realized I left my good axe at the trailer..."

She couldn't help but giggle and continue to play along. "Well, if you're taking me to your secret axe murdering place, I'm surprised you didn't blindfold me."

He shot a glance at her. "Hmm...blindfolds. Now there's an idea."

Meredith huffed at how quickly he managed to turn the conversation on her – even as she couldn't quite get his words out of her mind. "Hmm, maybe that's it," she said. "Are you just taking me out in the middle of nowhere to have a screaming orgasm in the wilderness?"

He laughed again and shook his head at her. "We could do that at the trailer. In fact," he continued, his voice lower, "We have done that at the trailer."

Sucking her lower lip into her mouth, Meredith thought silently for several moments. They were doing something outside that they couldn't do at the trailer; something that they had to go to some specific place to do. More so than the clothing, it was the need for boots that intrigued her. And not high, thick, warm boots, or high heeled fancy boots, but ankle boots with a small heel but not a large tread. What some may call hiking boots. She scoured her mind to determine whether there were any special hiking spots in the area, but couldn't come up with anything. First of all, she couldn't imagine hiking to a better view then any they had found on his land, and second, they hadn't brought any supplies.

She wasn't exactly nature girl, but was pretty sure hiking required water and trail mix and burlap back-packs called 'ruk saks' that carried compasses and maps and emergency flairs.

"You're quiet," he commented.

"I'm thinking."

"About the screaming orgasms?"

Meredith rolled her eyes. "About where we're going."

"Hmm, that's too bad."

She rolled her eyes again. "They'll be plenty of time for screaming orgasms later."

He glanced at her quickly. "Maybe not," he replied cryptically.

This definitely caught her attention. "Why not?"

He gave what was meant to be a nonchalant shrug. "I may not be quite up to it after..."

She blinked twice in confusion. "Why not?" She asked again, hoping for a better answer.

"We're doing something I've never done before," he admitted. "And the...logistics of it make me think that I may need a day or two to recover."

"Just you?"

He shot her a glance. "From what I know about the differences between a male and female body? Yes."

For the life of her, Meredith had absolutely no idea where he was taking her. She turned her full attention on her boyfriend, hoping for some clue as to what he was planning. It was only then – when she finally focussed her attention on him and not on where he was taking her – that she realized his hands were gripping tightly to the steering wheel. He was tense.

She tilted her head and surveyed him for several moments. His pallor was just a little off. His jaw was set when he wasn't looking at her. He was sitting a little too upright.

He was nervous.

The realization hit her like a ton of bricks. What could they possibly be doing that would have him nervous, she wondered. It wasn't very likely that he was nervous that she wouldn't like whatever it was that they were doing, because he was so confident about taking her there – hence the flirty-ness. But whatever it was that they were doing had him worried.

"We're not going bungee jumping or something, are we?"

He shot her a glance with an eyebrow raised. "Definitely not."

"Paint ball?"

He shook his head. "That would be fun though."

Meredith closed her eyes tight and thought hard. Something he had never done, whose idea made him nervous. Something that would possible do something to his manly parts. Something they had to dress in outdoor clothes and drive out of town for. She was just about to let loose another exasperated moan when he turned the car onto a gravel driveway.

Her eyes shot open just in time to catch one word off of the large sign as they drove by. Ranch. He piloted the car past a tree line and the property opened up into rolling fields of grass on either side of them. Wooden post and rail fences lined the fields on both sides of the narrow drive; their purpose not to keep them out, but to keep the four legged creatures in.

Meredith gasped as she realized exactly Derek had planned for them to do today. "Derek... Are we going horseback ridding?"

He turned and smiled warmly at her. "I told you we had to get started on that list of yours. The skating and the sledding have to wait until we have snow again. And the swimming has to wait until it's warmer. But the weather's fine for this."

000

Once they had parked the car, signed all the necessary forms and paid for the activity, they were ushered into the small barn, where they would be assigned a horse. Derek had requested a private ride for them, so other than the trail guide – a friendly young woman named Sam – they would be alone on the ride.

"So, you said neither of you have ever ridden before?" Sam asked as they walked through the door.

"Nope," Meredith confirmed, shaking her head as she adjusted to the smell of the barn. It wasn't nearly as bad as she may have expected had she had a chance to think about it. The barn smelled of horses and hay and leather, with only a faint lingering smell of something unpleasant that she assumed to be manure. There was a main aisle running down the barn, with a row of maybe a dozen stalls on either side of it. Each stall had a sliding door that was open on the top, and a number of horses stuck their heads out after they entered. The horse in the first stall on their left – whose name plate read 'Chester' – nickered at them, a few strands of hay sticking out of the corner of his mouth.

Sam smiled and paused beside him. "This is my horse," she explained. "He'll be coming with us today. And, as you can tell, he's very friendly and likes attention."

"He's beautiful," Meredith complimented. His coat was a reddish brown colour, but his mane was much lighter and fell down over his eyes. She cautiously reached a hand out to him, as she would a dog, and smiled when he shoved his nose into her grasp. He seemed to be looking for a pat, so she cautiously ran her hand up his long face to the white diamond-like shape above his eyes and patted him three times. After a moment he reached his head and nose out towards Derek, the only one not to offer him attention yet, but Derek was not nearly as easily won over as his girlfriend.

He cautiously lifted his hand, but hesitated with it several inches from Chester's straining nose. It was clear the horse wanted the contact. It was also clear the human did not.

"He's not going to bite, Derek," Meredith offered, looking to Sam for back up.

The young woman nodded. "She's right. He's super friendly. You can touch him; it's okay."

Derek held his body tense, but looked sideways to Meredith and slowly closed the gap, unwilling to look too afraid. His world class, million-dollar-a-year hand came to rest against the end of Chester's nose, but the horse did the work, bobbing his head to make it seem like Derek was rubbing him. Eventually Derek seemed to calm and carefully ran his hand up the equine's face, not as forwardly as Meredith, but under his own steam. This seemed to appease the horse, who ducked his head back into his stall before coming back out with a new mouthful of hay.

"Okay," Sam said brightly, leading them further down the aisle. They passed a great big black horse named 'Mouse' and an adorable grey pony named 'Smiley.' "This is Picasso," she said to Meredith, stopping at one of the last stalls on the right. Picasso was a medium sized horse of all different colours. When it was clear the three people outside her door were stopping, she stuck her head out to investigate. "She'll be your horse today."

"Hi, Picasso," Meredith greeted, offering her hand as she had to Chester. Picasso wasn't quite as forward as Chester had been, instead she stared at Meredith through soft brown eyes and kept still as Meredith ran her hand up her face. "I like her," she commented.

"She's a real sweetheart," Sam said. "She's about twelve years old, a paint cross, and we've had her for three years. Everyone loves her." She turned to Derek and motioned across the aisle to a large brown horse. "That's Prince. He'll be yours today."

Meredith watched with a cross between sympathy and intrigue as Derek swallowed hard, his face losing a touch of colour. Prince had his head stuck out as well, a lazy sense of interest in his expression as he surveyed the people before him. The horse brown dark brown in colour, with a black mane and nose, and had faint greying around his eyes. He was also very large; his face was wider in comparison to Picasso or Chester, and much longer. His neck was thick, and from what they could see from the aisle, he was quite tall.

Derek released a shaky breath. "Don't you have something a little...shorter?" He asked as evenly as he could. "Like Picasso...or Smiley over there," he said, trying to make a joke as he motioned at the pony they had already passed, who was still trying to see them, even though his head didn't even clear the door, his eyes just visible as he watched them with his head and nose stretched upwards.

"Don't worry at all about his size, Sir," Sam reassured. "He's an old pro at this; never takes a misstep. I can tell you're a little nervous, but trust me when I tell you he's the best match for you."

Derek swallowed again and nodded. "You're the expert."

Two other girls came in to help them get their mounts ready, bringing the horses out into the aisle and showing Meredith and Derek how to brush and tack up their horses. Derek stood back, letting them do most of the work and eyeing Prince anxiously, while Meredith jumped right in to help, learning how to use all of the brushes, and even how to pick out one of Picasso's hooves. As the saddles were being put on, she glanced sympathetically towards Derek.

"The guys are usually the nervous ones," Angela, the girl helping her, offered. "I can't tell you the number of nervous boyfriends and husbands who come through here."

Meredith laughed. "Yeah...he doesn't look too good. I don't think I've ever seen him this scared."

"He'll calm down. They always do. Five minutes into the ride he'll realize it's not as bad as he thinks. Prince is awesome; he's our designated 'scared man' horse."

Meredith snorted despite herself. "I'll wait until after to tell him that."

Angela laughed as she expertly cinched the girth on the western style saddle. "He's doing better than some. We had one guy who actually left the barn twice to throw up before his ride."

"That bad, huh?" She commented, watching as Sam tried to fit Derek with a helmet, unable to tell if the protective gear was making Derek feel better or worse about his situation. Either way he did look funny with the black velvet riding helmet stuffed on his head, his normally perfect hair sticking out from under it at all angles.

Angela finished with the saddle and patted Picasso's neck absently. "Sometimes. But he seems to be holding down his food."

Meredith giggled, thinking about just how much she would have to hold over him if he actually threw up from his nerves.

"How's it going?" Sam asked as she wandered down from Derek, three helmets in hand.

"I think I'm doing better than Derek," Meredith commented.

Sam laughed. "He'll be okay. Prince will take care of him."

"Yeah, Angela here already told me he was designated for scared men."

She nodded. "And he gets a lot of use. Anyway, there aren't any laws saying that adults are required to wear helmets, but we do recommend you wear one." Sam motioned to the three helmets in her hands. "And we supply them free of charge."

Meredith nodded. "I'll wear one." She smirked as she caught Derek's gaze, and raised her voice so he could hear her. "Though, if I smash my head in, help is right here."

Despite his nervousness, he smiled.

Sam turned to Derek. "Oh, are you a doctor?"

He nodded. "We both are."

Sam turned back to Meredith. "What kind of doctors?"

"Well, I'm doing my surgical residency right now, and haven't declared a specialty yet, but he's a neurosurgeon."

"Wow," Sam replied, glancing back towards Derek, who had returned to staring uncertainly at Prince, as if the horse would shrink if he stared long enough. "That's impressive."

Meredith nodded, unsure of how to respond. "He's the top neurosurgeon in Seattle, one of the best in the country." She smirked. "And right now he's absolutely terrified."

000

The staff made quick work of bridling the horses, and gave Meredith and Derek a short lecture on how to control their mounts. Squeeze your legs together to go. Pull back to stop. Pull the left rein to turn left. Pull the right rein to turn right. Pull up on one rein only if your horse puts his head down to eat some grass. Don't yell or panic. Hold onto the horn on the front of the saddle if you need to. Have fun.

Sam demonstrated how to mount a horse, putting her left foot into Chester's left stirrup and flawlessly lifting herself onto her horse. Since Meredith was calmer then Derek, she was first to get on. With relative ease she managed to get her left foot into the stirrup, but the actual using-one-foot-well-above-the-ground-to-pull-your-entire-body-onto-a-horse thing was a little more difficult then Sam made it look. Her first attempt only got her half way, but she bounced on her right foot and made it all the way up on her second try. She swung her right leg over the saddle.

And she was sitting on a horse.

Angela helped her get her right foot into the right stirrup and showed her how to hold the reins. "You good?"

Meredith nodded, completely unable to stop smiling. Riding a horse had been a dream of hers since she was a little girl. She couldn't believe it was actually happening. She leaned forward and patted Picasso on the neck. "We're going to have fun, aren't we girl?"

The horse didn't respond – not that Meredith had expected her to – and turned her head, her ears pricked forward, to watch with interest as Derek was helped onto Prince. Meredith followed her gaze. The older brown horse – called a bay, Sam had told them – stood calmly; very still. Derek made one unsuccessful attempt to get on, and pulled his foot out of the stirrup. He stepped back for a moment and took a breath. And when he re-approached Prince, his expression told Meredith that he was determined.

His second attempt was successful and, other than a flash of pain across his face when he sat down a little too far forward on the saddle, he looked like he had himself collected.

"Great!" Sam called brightly, perched comfortably on top of Chester. "Are you both ready to go?"

Meredith nodded emphatically.

"Okay, then. I'm going to lead, with Picasso behind me and Prince taking up the rear." She turned Chester towards the open gate. "All you need to do is squeeze your legs against Picasso's sides and steer her head to face me."

Meredith nodded and sat up straight. Sam and Chester were about twenty feet away from them now, moving slowly as Sam called orders back over her shoulder. She very gently squeezed her legs against Picasso's sides. The horse didn't budge. She squeezed a little harder and was rewarded when the mare moved one step forward. "Okay," she mumbled to herself. "A little more..." And a little more was all it took. Picasso moved forward easily, not waiting for Meredith to remember to steer as she caught up to Chester.

"Good job," Sam praised. "Now do the same thing with Prince."

Meredith turned her upper body to look back at Derek. His face was still tense, but he seemed to have calmed now that he was on and realized the ground wasn't really that far away. A few seconds went by where nothing happened, but then Prince sighed and ambled towards his stablemates.

"Off we go!" Sam called, turning to face forward as she led them through the gate and along the path leading over the hill before them.

Meredith was still smiling as they climbed up the rolling hill, revelling in the feeling of being on a moving animal. It wasn't anything like she had imagined as a child. She had thought it to be more like sitting on a gliding object, where in actual fact she could feel every step Picasso made. She glanced back at Derek, who offered her a smile. Prince was ambling calmly behind Picasso.

The hill arched quickly, revealing a large field with a forest behind it. It was quiet as they made their way across the filed, still following a well used path. Sam remained silent, only glancing back to check on them every so often.

"It's beautiful out here," Meredith called. "You must love this job."

Sam smiled back at her. "Oh, it's an awesome way to work. I get to be around horses all the time."

Meredith smiled and nodded. Her lab partner in her freshman year of college had been a horseback rider, and always had stories of what had happened at the barn that week. She had told Meredith she owned two, who she competed with in the summer, and that she rode at least six days a week.

She glanced back at Derek again, who seemed calmer by the minute as he adjusted to the feeling of being on a horse. "You feeling better?"

He narrowed his eyes at her. "I'm fine."

Meredith laughed. "You sound like me."

"I wasn't scared," he retorted.

"Of course not," she agreed, sarcasm heavy in her voice.

"I just have a healthy respect for large animals..."

She giggled and turned back to face forward – right in time for Picasso to stop dead and stretch her head down to the ground. "Oh, I, uh..." Meredith stammered, her mind reeling to think what to do. This had been part of the lesson. They had been warned that their horse may stop and try and eat some grass.

"You need to pull her head up," Sam called.

Meredith glanced up at her leader, to see that she had stopped and turned Chester to face them. "Okay," she responded, sitting up and pulling with both hands.

"Horses have tons of muscles in their necks," Sam explained. "You'll never get her head up that way. You need to pull with only one rein so that you're only fighting half the muscles."

Meredith released the tension on the left rein and pulled only with the right. Picasso immediately picked up her head and ambled forward to catch up, blades of grass sticking out the side of her mouth. "Good girl," Meredith whispered, patting Picasso on the neck.

"Try and control your horse, Mer," Derek called from behind her.

She rolled her eyes, knowing he was getting her back for her earlier comments, and resisted the urge to turn and glare at him.

The ride continued, and they spent the next ninety minutes travelling through forests and fields, over rolling hills and even through a shallow stream. Even though it lasted an hour and a half, it was over before she knew it. Derek had relaxed quickly, and ten minutes into the ride all of the tension had melted away from his face and posture. He had even been keen for a few short trotting sessions.

The barn came into view as they passed back over the hill they had started with, and Meredith gave Picasso an affectionate pat on the neck. "Thanks for the ride, girl."

Sam stopped them near the barn and slid off of Chester. "I'll be right back to get you two off," she called as she disappeared into the barn with her horse.

"You have fun?" Derek asked.

She smiled at him. "I really did. Thank-you, Derek. I...thank-you."

He smiled back at her. "You're very welcome. Though you don't need to thank me. I like seeing you happy."

Meredith felt her heart constrict at his tender tone and unwavering gaze. "Well," she said shakily. "I'm happy." And they both knew she wasn't just talking about today's equine adventure. "I didn't know how serious you were about the list thing."

"Oh, I'm serious," he responded. "Skating, sledding and swimming; coming up."

She laughed. "The three S's."

He nodded. "We'll get to them. I promise. And anything else you want to do."

"You too," she said quickly. "We need to do things you want to do too."

"Okay."

Her heart soared as she stared into his eyes, unable to comprehend how lucky she was for having him in her life. For having anyone love her as much as he did. His smile always made her feel special, like it was reserved just for her. She loved this feeling, and she wished she could freeze everything right now, so she could feel this way forever.

"Okay," Sam called as she stepped out of the barn, inadvertently breaking their moment. "To get off you're going to take your right foot out of the stirrup, lean forward and swing your right leg over the saddle. You can use your left foot and stirrup to control your landing. And it's better to bend your knee when you land."

Meredith nodded, but paused when she felt something in her pocket press against her when she leaned forward. "Wait," she said, pulling her cell out of her pocket. They had been advised to turn off the ringer for the ride, but her phone was still on. She quickly set it to camera mode and held it out to Sam. "Could you take a picture of us? I know it's stupid, but-"

"It's not stupid," Sam said quickly. "We gets tons of requests for pictures." She even stepped forward to help Meredith manoeuvre Picasso closer to Prince before stepping back with the cell phone held out in front of her. "Smile," she called, and clucked her tongue to draw the attention of the horses. Prince stared lazily at her, undeterred by her noises, but Picasso looked on with interest, hers ears pricked in Sam's direction. "Got it."

"Thanks," Meredith said, removing her right foot from the stirrup again and slowly following Sam's directions to dismount the horse. It turned out to be less complicated than it sounded, and she landed easily on the ground beside Picasso. "Thanks for a great ride, Picasso," she said affectionately as she patted the horse's neck and face.

Picasso craned her head towards her and rubbed her face on Meredith's hand.

"Hey, how did it go?" Angela asked as she came out of the barn.

Meredith smiled. "Great. Picasso was wonderful. And Derek calmed down pretty quickly."

"They always do."

She giggled and gave Picasso one last pat before relinquishing the reins to Angela.

Sam took Prince from Derek, as well as their helmets. "Thanks for coming," she said. "Hope we'll see you again sometime."

"Absolutely," Meredith responded eagerly.

"Thank-you," Derek called as Sam led Prince into the barn. He smiled at Meredith and threaded his fingers through hers as they walked around the barn towards the car.

Meredith glanced at him and giggled.

"What?"

"You have helmet hair." His normally flawless hair was pressed down on the top and curly on the bottom.

He made a face and ran his free hand through his hair several times, trying to lift his flattened hair. "I'm glad we took the pictures with the helmets on."

She giggled again. "You're so vain."

Derek rolled his eyes and released her hand when they reached the car.

Meredith stepped half way around the car before she turned and hurried back before he sat down in the driver's seat.

"What?" He asked, his brow furrowed.

She shook her head, suddenly overcome, and threw her arms around his neck. He responded immediately, his arms going around her waist, his hands running along her spine.

"Thank-you," she whispered fiercely into his shoulder. "Thank-you, Derek. I...just thank-you."

"You're very welcome. I thought it would be fun."

She pulled away to meet his eyes. "No, you were terrified." There was no mocking tone in her voice. The simple truth was that he had been scared, but wanted to do it anyway. For her.

He offered her a small smile. "I may have been a little nervous," he relented.

"I love you," she said, unable to not tell him in that moment.

"Hmm," he mumbled, brushing his lips against hers. "I love you too."

"I can't believe you did this for me, that you would do this for me."

His smile was unlike anything she had seen before. "I'd do anything for you, Meredith."

She took a deep, shuddery breath and nodded. "Thank-you, and...you too."

He smiled again. "We'll do this again," he murmured. "And lots of other things."

"Okay."

His thumb brushed against her lips as his hand cupped her face. "I want to do these things with you; I want to experience new things with you."

It had been a little over a week since they had discussed Mark and Addison and how hard it was for him to depend on someone else, and Meredith was already amazed at the difference in him. He had dropped a wall that she had barely known was there before. She had known he didn't like to be vulnerable or appear 'weak,' but had assumed it was more to do with being a man then it did with being Derek. Either way, he had dropped the wall, and the difference was palpable. He seemed more comfortable, more relaxed. He had always been confident and cocky, but now he was more...secure. And Meredith's heart clenched every time she realized he trusted her enough to let her in this far; further, as assumed, then anyone else had gotten before.

"Well, you've got me," she whispered.

"Yeah?"

She smiled. "Yeah."

Derek cocked his head. "Forever?"

Meredith smirked and leaned in close so that their lips were only millimetres apart. "I'm going to have to insist on it."

"Mmm, I like the way you think," he mumbled.

She closed the gap between them, pressing her lips against his for a long moment before breaking the kiss and hugging him tight. "I never thought I'd have this, Derek," she whispered. "I never thought it existed. But it does, and I do. And I'm...happy."

His arms closed securely around her. "Me too, Mer, me too. I'm going to have to insist on forever as well. I sincerely doubt I could exist without you anymore. I'm hooked."

"Good; then it's not just me."

Derek chuckled. "Definitely not."

With one last, long, sigh, Meredith pulled back. "Thanks for bringing me here," she said again, before cocking her head. "What can I do to thank you properly?"

He smirked. "I can think of a few things..."

She raised an eyebrow. "And here I thought you wouldn't be up to screaming orgasms for a few days?"

He paused as he considered for a moment. "I don't see any problems; things weren't as bad...anatomically...as I expected."

Meredith giggled. "And to think...you love me so much that you were willing to give up sex for a few days."

"Goes to show you exactly how much I love you."

"Well, Shepherd, take me home, so that I can show you just how much I love you..."

He kissed her cheek before releasing her. "Gladly."

AN1: I've had a number of questions recently about the upcoming drowning arc, so I thought I'd address this here in case there are more questions. Yes, it will be featured. No, it will not be the same as on the show. Yes, Meredith will be knocked into the water. Yes, Meredith will succumb to the water, BUT what happens between Meredith and the water will be different (and if you've been paying attention, you probably know why...). The events of the day and the aftermath will be different. More will be done after it, because it would have been a big hit for both of them. Oh, and OT, a received an unsigned review after chapter 40 from 'Sarah' saying 'cause shouldn't Mer have a big scar down her chest from the bypass on the show now? I'm far from being a medical expert, but I doubt they have to crack a chest to put the patient on bypass. From my, limited, knowledge bypass runs the blood through a machine and oxygenates it so that the heart and lungs don't have to work. For Meredith it would keep the rest of her body alive as they brought her temperature back up without her heart beating. Does that make sense? Anyone reading know?

AN2: For those of you who read What I'm Here For and Still Here, I have officially started work on the third instalment, Here We Are.